The greater tragedy?

[gyopsy]

1. A 30 year old guy who lost his whole family (a wife and young son) in a car accident.

2. A 30 year old guy who is a virgin and who has never even dated before in his entire life.

3. A 50 year old guy who is married to a woman who he doesn't love and has no kids.

1, 2, or 3? These are just examples but I hope you get the idea.

[everythingsxen]

1. Wow.. tough one..

I guess 1.

2 and 3 could both change their lives if they tried.

[camero]

2. #1

#2 is bad but could actually be a blessing in disguise at 35.

#3 the guy may have other options.

[TSIAS]

3. 1 and 3 are the most tragic, IMO

The first one is just awful. That's the kind of thing that he'll probably never get over.

The second guy still has a chance to change. He might be a late bloomer.

The third guy can also remedy his troubles. I know it's harder to find someone after 50, but it's possible. Nowadays, men like Don Shula and Larry King are having children in their late 60's.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. #3

#2 isn't a tragedy at all, really, unless, of course, he seriously desires to have dated and not be a virgin.

#1 is tough, but at least he has known love.

To me, #3 is worst - to be married to someone that one doesn't love.

I'd rather have loved and lost, than to be with someone I don't and cannot love.

But your offering of #2 seems to imply that, somehow, if one hasn't had sex, one is "tragic", which I think is a false assumption and rather misinformed.

[gyopsy]

7. It depends

I see what you're saying though about #2. It's kind of a gray area.
I was assuming when I wrote the question that the guy was a tragic figure who was unable to find anybody either bk he's very shy or somehow dysfunctional. I would imagine though, that some people do choose a celebate life.

I really should have been more specific.

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Yeah, you should have been more specific

If it's a situation of someone who simply cannot find anyone to love him, nor anyone for him to love, then that's a tragedy. And by love, I'm thinking more romantic love, which is bad, but not as bad if we're talking about generic human love, in which case, that's a totally tragic case.

I think that had you not included the bit about him being a virgin at age 30, I wouldn't have been bothered. Because as you say, some people choose a celibate life, and that doesn't mean they don't know love, or even that they are odd or lacking.

Sex is great, but in the scheme of human relationships, it's rather irrelevant.

[Fenris]

5. 1 without a question

2 is sad, but it is not on the level of a man losing his wife and child. 3 is an easily solved situation, made especially easier since there are no children involved. 2 and 3, in comparison to 1, are not tragedies.

[ArwenJade]

6. 1 definately

There's nothing worse than a parent loosing a child.

[AlienGirl]

8. #1 is worst

The 30-year-old virgin might find some gorgeous person to fall in love with him and force him into a relationship.

The 50-year-old guy can divorce his wife and live on a sailboat in the Caymans.

But no one, ever, ever gets over the death of their child.

Tucker

[Fleshdancer]

10. Only #1 is a tragedy....

both #2 and #3 have a choice to change their situation if they are truly unhappy. In fact, if #3 would introduce his wife to #2, then both their problems could very well be solved.

[Lars39]

11. That's not tough at all.

Two and three he can take direct action to change. Number one is the more serious case: people died.