I need some candid opinions, please....

[SacredCow]

about a situation that I'm involved in....

In early September, an acquaintance of mine moved here with no real prospects or place to stay (that's a story in and of itself, but it was something that he really needed to do). He (we'll call him Jack) was supposed to stay with me and my then partner until he got back on his feet and then find his own place. Well, meantime, tensions were high with the hurricane and some other big issues, and my then-partner decides that maybe having another person in the house would be a bad idea at that particular point. Reasonable thought, but my partner didn't tell me this at the time. Instead, he calls a mutual friend (we'll call Peter, who lives alone in a 3 br house), explains the situation, and asks if he would take Jack in for a period of time. Peter agrees with no hesitation.

I'm told all of this after the fact, and though I'm taken aback that it was discussed without me, I am touched at the generous offer by Peter, and agree that it might be for the best. Jack moves into Peter's back bedroom. Jack is employed almost immediately, but quits his first job as it wasn't a good fit for him. However, he already had something else lined up before he quit, so he was back at work within a few days, and is still working. He has offered rental payment to Peter, but Peter has refused it.

Fast forward to about a week ago... Peter is ready to have his house back to himself. He readily admits that it's not that Jack is so much of a problem, it's just that he prefers living alone (fair enough). Peter tells me this, saying "He's YOUR friend- YOU need to be the one to nudge him and get him out of my house." Inwardly, I kind of disagree, but I've no problem finding a discrete and non-confrontational way of bringing up the topic and opening the dialogue. I tell Peter that I will bring it up somehow when it's appropriate (I don't see either Jack or Peter daily).

Now, Peter has become something of a bitch about it, and has gotten my ex-partner involved- with both of them saying that it's MY responsibility to let Jack know IMMEDIATELY that Peter wants his house back, but I must do it without actually suggesting that Peter wants him out, because Peter doesn't want Jack to think that.

My take on this: I wasn't instrumental in getting Jack into Peter's house (other than saying that he could stay with me when he moved here), so I say that the onus of responsibility isn't exactly on my shoulders; However, I readily agreed to speak with him whenever the time was right, and at the time Peter seemed OK with that. Then a week later- Well, he apparently didn't think I moved fast enough...

Thanks to anybody who read all of this and can offer any opinions- good, bad, or ugly!
:hi:

[MrCoffee]

1. Candidly? This is a non-problem.

Go tell Captain Freeloader to get his butt out. Tell Peter Drama to get over it. Tell your ex to STFU about it.

[SacredCow]

2. Well, that's certainly candid...

and step #3 has already been done, in those exact words come to think of it....

[meegbear]

3. Tell Jack in a discrete and non-confrontational way about moving out ...

then tell the bitches to fuck off. Are they on 411? Want me to lean on them?

[SacredCow]

5. That was my intention when he asked....

and no- they're on that OTHER site that shall not be named.... :puke:

[flvegan]

4. "Dude, Pete wants you out asap. No offense."

[SacredCow]

10. That's basically the abridged version of what I'd say....

and was going to say the next time I saw him...

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. I'm with MrCoffee - tell Peter to stop being such a fucking wuss and cowboy up,

and tell your partner to get out of the dialogue.

What Peter wants is totally within reason and within his rights. Quite honestly, he's the only one who should mention to Jack that he would like Jack to get his own place.

Having you say it is both cowardly, AND could also cause some paranoia in Jack - "Why did Peter have SacredCow say something? Did I do something awful?"

Peter can easily say, "Jack - I've been glad to have you stay here, and help you out while you got on your feet, and you've been a stellar roommate and I've enjoyed it. Well, now that you're on your feet, I would like to have my house back to myself. Please spend the next month looking for another place."

[MrCoffee]

7. Seriously...Peter needs to reach back and find his spine.

[zanne]

9. Exactly. If Peter wants this person out of his house.....

Either Peter (or you partner who arranged the whole thing in the first place) should tell him. Don't let them make you the bad guy. Just my opinion.

[SacredCow]

8. You've said almost all of what I'm thinking....

Do I harbor ill will against Peter for wanting his place back to himself? Abso-friggin-lutely NOT!

I'd have Jack come stay with me, but since my ex and I split I'm more or less in Jack's position and living with a friend until I get my own place. Of course, my roomie takes my rent money, the greedy scum-sucker! :rofl:

[Bossy Monkey]

11. Suggest that Peter start his dream amusement park, Passive-Aggressive Land nt

[SacredCow]

12. That'd be a scary place....

I know Peter fairly well, and this isn't really like him. But to be fair, he has had some awful roommates in the past, so maybe he wants this to end before it has a chance to become an actual problem? Coupled with the fact that he just prefers to live alone...

Like I said- it's totally reasonable for him to want to get his place back to himself. I just think that he and Jack should have had a frank and open dialog from the beginning. I've harbored people before, and I always gave them a timeframe, if necessary...