Words that sound filthy but really aren't:

[meow2u3]

1. Bitch - a female dog, especially an unspayed one.

2. Ball up - to mess up, louse up.

3 (This one sounds like a LGBT slur, but isn't): queen - a female cat.

4. Cock - a rooster

5. Pussy - a cat, especially a cute, female cat.

[spinbaby]

1. Uvula n/t

[mcctatas]

2. ...

Kumquat, slit, secrete, masticate and speculum...

[Rambis]

4. Masticate story

A friend walked into a family meal at another friend's house and said..."Oh, sorry we caught you all masticating" grandma fainted.

[Roon]

3. mukluk

[Throd]

5. Tranny jack

[Z_I_Peevey]

6. cummerbund

[Richardo]

7. Penal

[Jamastiene]

29. Yup, the penal code and the penal system both sound

so odd to me. I'm surprised those two phrases haven't been used in more jokes.

[WinkyDink]

8. Kumquat.

[PVnRT]

9. Niggard

Meaning someone who is stingy.

[dawgmom]

14. That reminds me of something that happened in the DC area

A few years back, in local DC politics...I think it was an aide to a candidate. He used the word "niggardly" to describe the stinginess of either the board or the other candidate...can't remember exactly. Anyway, in perhaps the most disgusting display of stupidity I've ever seen, he was forced to resign because of all the protests from people who didn't know what the word meant.

[Orrex]

19. I think that the issue unfolded a little bit differently, but it's still stupid

On January 15, 1999, David Howard, a white aide to Anthony A. Williams, the black mayor of Washington, D.C., used the word in reference to a budget. This apparently upset one of his black colleagues (identified by Howard as Marshall Brown), who incorrectly interpreted it as a racial slur and lodged a complaint. As a result, on January 25 Howard tendered his resignation, and Williams accepted it.

However, after pressure from the gay community (of which Howard was a member) an internal review into the matter was brought about, and the mayor offered Howard the chance to return to his position as Office of the Public Advocate on February 4. Howard refused but accepted another position with the mayor instead, insisting that he did not feel victimized by the incident. On the contrary, Howard felt that he had learned from the situation. "I used to think it would be great if we could all be colorblind. That's naive, especially for a white person, because a white person can't afford to be colorblind. They don't have to think about race every day. An African American does."

From Wiki

In addition to Brown's misunderstanding of the word, I've read that rumors began to circulate that Howard had in fact used "the N-word," such that Howard offered his resignation to defuse tensions resulting from the misunderstanding. It's still stupid, but at least the pressure resulted from people who really thought that he'd used the racial slur, rather than from one guy who didn't know what "niggardly" meant.

[applegrove]

10. What do you call a stamp collertor? Starts with a "P"?

[KitchenWitch]

11. Philatelist

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. Sarah Palin sounds filthy

but it's much worse.

[UTUSN]

13. Spanish speakers (non-Italian speakers) often say the lyrics to Figaro-Figaro-FEEEGARO sound dirty

*******QUOTE*******

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Largo_al_factotum

Italian
Largo al factotum della città.
Presto a bottega che l'alba è già.
Ah, che bel vivere, che bel piacere
per un barbiere di qualità!


Ah, bravo Figaro!
Bravo, bravissimo!
Fortunatissimo per verità!
Pronto a far tutto,
la notte e il giorno
sempre d'intorno in giro sta.
Miglior cuccagna per un barbiere,
vita più nobile, no, non si da.
Rasori e pettini

lancette e forbici,
al mio comando
tutto qui sta.
V'è la risorsa,
poi, del mestiere

colla donnetta... col cavaliere...
Tutti mi chiedono, tutti mi vogliono,
donne, ragazzi, vecchi, fanciulle:
Qua la parrucca... Presto la barba...
Qua la sanguigna...
Presto il biglietto...
Qua la parrucca, presto la barba,
Presto il biglietto, ehi!


Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!, ecc.
Ahimè, che furia!
Ahimè, che folla!
Uno alla volta, per carità!
Ehi, Figaro! Son qua.
Figaro qua, Figaro là,
Figaro su, Figaro giù,


Pronto prontissimo son come il fulmine:
sono il factotum della città.
Ah, bravo Figaro! Bravo, bravissimo;
a te fortuna non mancherà.


Translation in English

Make way for the factotum of the city,
Hurrying to his shop since dawn is already here.
Ah, what a fine life, what fine pleasure
For a barber of quality!


Ah, bravo Figaro!
Bravo, bravissimo!
A most fortunate man indeed!
Ready to do everything
Night and day,
Always on the move.
A cushier fate for a barber,
A more noble life, is not to be had.
Razors and combs,


Lancets and scissors,
At my command
Everything's there.
Here are the tools
Of my trade
With the ladies...with the gentlemen...
Everyone asks for me, everyone wants me,


Ladies, young lads, old men, young girls:
Here is the wig...the beard is ready...
Here are the leeches...
The note is ready...
Here is the wig, the beard is ready,
The note is ready, hey!


Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!, etc.
Ah, what frenzy!
Ah, what a crowd!
One at a time, please!
Hey, Figaro! I'm here.
Figaro here, Figaro there,
Figaro up, Figaro down,


Swifter and swifter, I'm like a thunderbolt:
I'm the factotum of the city.
Ah, bravo Figaro! Bravo, bravissimo,
You'll never lack for luck!

********UNQUOTE*******

[WritingIsMyReligion]

15. Pianist.

:D

[Fire Walk With Me]

16. Fungible.

[prole_for_peace]

17. Coccyx

and Uranus (pronounced the funny way)

[Solon]

18. Queen is perhaps the most appropriate name for a female cat, they demand to be treated that way!

:D

[elshiva]

33. Yes, I always say that to my mom.

Remember they are queens. They are very regal. Also, "queen" is not always a slur for a male homosexual, there are professional drag queens. :) :hi:

:hug: :pals:

[Lethe]

20. fecund

it just sounds dirty!!

[Withywindle]

21. Quincunx.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

22. Pinellas

A county in Florida.

Then again, if you look at a map of Pinellas County, you might wonder if someone did have a dirty mind after all:

[fNord]

40. I live in Pinellas, and, yha, it can be prety dirty

[friedgreentomatoes]

23. sushi n/t

[darkstar]

24. pork loin

[Reterr]

25. Pulchritude

At least I think it isn't dirty ;)....

[Aristus]

26. Fecund. It means fertile, but it is too close to "feces" for me.

n/t

[begin_within]

27. Divulge

[HEyHEY]

28. clitsucker!

[Jamastiene]

34. You rang?

:P :evilgrin:

[Jamastiene]

30. Lake Titicaca and the Aquatic Scrotum immediately pop into my mind.

I shit you not. I'm not making it up:

http://www.nwf.org/nationalwildlife/article.cfm?issueID=64&articleID=837

"Lake Titicaca straddles 2,000 square miles of Peruvian and Bolivian landscape at 12,500 feet above sea level..."

You cannot beat that sentence for unintended puns, unless someone at National Geographic is as much of a pev as I am...nah, they wouldn't be.

[cwydro]

31. succulent.

[coyotespaw]

32. Ululate

[elshiva]

35. but

[panhead1961]

36. Titillate

[R. P. McMurphy]

37. bush - unless its preceded by "George" - then it is filthy n/t

:)

[meow2u3]

42. You mean the bush that grows in the ground?

Or the Australian Outback?

[R. P. McMurphy]

46. I was thinking of the one on the mons pubis . . .

and that ain't filthy. :)

[GCP]

38. Kumquat

It's a fruit, I think

[IndianaJones]

39. meaty vadge. nt.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

41. undulate

[meow2u3]

43. I forgot one--pineal gland

It's located within the brain--the one in your skull!

[Tikki]

44. Pooch, Tang, Google...

Scratch, Funk....


Tikki

[lost-in-nj]

45. bone in

meat......


:rofl:


lost

[Phillycat]

48. LOL!

Okay, that one cracked me up. :D

[guitar man]

47. stimulus package

hehe...huh huh....hehehehe...

[mainegreen]

49. No one has said wankel rotary engine? For shame!

Shame!

x(

[foxfeet]

50. Peniel-- it's a Biblical reference

to the place where Jacob supposedly had his wrestling match with the angel. Lots of country churches use the word in their names.

[Throd]

51. Rectory

[edbermac]

52. Angina

:7

[SalmonChantedEvening]

53. duodenum n/t

[TroglodyteScholar]

54. Lugubrious

For some reason I always thought that one sounds icky

[KamaAina]

55. Fag; pecker

British slang for "cigarette" and "courage" respectively.

Heard on a British wartime drama: "Everything will be all right, dear, if you will only keep your pecker up."