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AARGH!!! There is a Snakhandler in my house

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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 01:45 AM
Original message
AARGH!!! There is a Snakhandler in my house
My sister has a penacostal freind sleeping over in my house. On the outside she is a normal 15 year old girl. In the inside there is a DEMON that has hidden a burlap sack somewhere in my house that is filled with Copperheads, Rattle Snakes, Cottonmouth and Diamondbacks. I know what she is going to do she is going to sneak up on me while I am sleeping and throw that bag of snakes on me. That way she can "test" my alegiance with God as she see's him. It's bad enough my family is in this Presbytarian cult but, now I got one of these people in my house. Any advice?
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WannaJumpMyScooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 01:55 AM
Response to Original message
1. yeah, go sleep outside, where it is safer
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
2. Run this by me again?
You let someone in your house with a bagful of snakes to spend the night? In what part of the country is this considered hospitality? I insist all visitors check their snakes at the door. It's a good policy and it's never done me wrong.
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 02:02 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. I don't know yet
If she has any or not ;-) I didn't invite her in my sister did and she was in my house before I got home.
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Raster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 02:37 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. absolutely wonderful response, Hardhead, it made me chuckle...
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lcordero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
3. I thought that when you said snake handler you meant
"snake handler"
:D
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liberalmuse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 02:07 AM
Response to Original message
5. Oh, a snakehandler?
Edited on Sat Aug-09-03 02:09 AM by liberalmuse
I thought someone was dipping into your Oreos!

I don't know what to say. I have a 15 yr. old daughter myself, and while she does have a few Mormon friends, they aren't obnoxious about it. I guess just leave her be and don't say anything to set her off on a Bible quoting fit. Believe me, I know from experience.

As for family, I have a mother who was a Democrat before she became born-again, sans the brain. Now she votes Republican, go figure?

On edit: You're kidding about the snakes, right? There's a limit to hospitality...
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 02:21 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. I doubt it but, you never know?
people are getting crazier and crazier.
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PeakOil2008 Donating Member (200 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 02:57 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. It's true; "Thou shalt take up serpents."
It's a real cult based in the south (Missouri? Louisiana?) that was featured on 20/20 once circa ten years ago. I forget the actual verse from the Bible, but the church cites the quote in my post header as justification for this act. The church actually holds "snake taking" ceremonies during weekly service.

I thought it was just an isolated, backwoods church. Now I see that it has spread. Talk about scary.
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JackSwift Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 03:15 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. Most mainstream denominations
regard that passage about snake handling as spurious because it is not in all ancient texts. Just make sure not to include mojave green rattlesnakes in your handling. They are really mean, and the most venomous snake in North America, a kind of rattler. A healthy person will survive any other North American snake bite with treatment unless they are allergic to the venom or anti-venom, same with any other spider or venomous critter in NA. The mojave green, however, requires immediate medical attention for even small amounts of venom. I suppose I worry about this because my sister works in the desert around these lovelies.
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JackSwift Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 03:11 AM
Response to Original message
9. Is it legal in your state
for a young man of your age to allow a young woman of her age to handle your "snake"?

Really, really dirty and obscene joke self censored here. Involves albino snake, spitting cobra, and pirate with an eye patch.
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short bus president Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
11. So...
where's that famous DU religious tolerance this morning? <ducks>

:P

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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-09-03 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
12. Get a bottle and label it Hemloch
Or cyanide or something of that nature. Fill it with water (for bonus points add an almond scent to it). Place the bottle in front of her at breakfast. Improvise from there.

What were Socrates last words?

I drank what?!
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