So, is this really dickish or what? - Democratic Underground

GirlinContempt

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Fri Sep-26-08 12:37 AM
Original message

So, is this really dickish or what?

I've had some problems in my apartment of a rather violent nature since moving in (door being kicked in downstairs, crackhead tenants having fights and parties and trying to get in to my suite, etc). Those people are gone now, and a friend of mine moved in below me. This, I figured, was a great thing. I am alone 99.999999% of the time despite having a room mate, as she comes home like once every two weeks for maybe 8 hours at a time.

So, tonight I hear all this yelling and glass breaking in the back lane. It's late. It goes on for a while. I figure, drunks. So I call out "What the hell are you doing out there?". Some guy gets all belligerent drunky at me, which I expected, and I just tell him to be quiet.

He keeps yelling back up at the window, I ignore him. A few minutes later, he starts screaming that if I call the cops, he's going to come kick my door down and beat the shit out of me.

Now, I figure, this is *PROBABLY* just crazyman drunk talk. But, then again, you never know. And ANYONE around here could be calling the cops. I wasn't planning to, not over some noise, but you know...

Anyway, I call my friend downstairs, because I wasn't sure if he was home or asleep or what, and I just let him know, in case something happens.

He then tells *ME* that *I* VERBALLY ASSAULTED the guy outside, and PROVOKED him.

Now, granted, I did call out to him. I've had plenty of experience with drunks in my life, and rowdy ones at that. I expect to get told to fuck off, etc, but not threats of physical violence. Maybe I'm naive, but usually they just swear at you and stumble off or go inside. I'm not saying I didn't say anything to him, but I don't think telling someone to be quiet in the middle of the night when they're making a huge amount of noise as provoking an attack, personally.

And, guess what. First of all, there is no definition in Canadian Law that I can find *ANYWHERE* that is specifically verbal assault. The assault law clearly states that assault, when verbal, is threatening to do harm to someone when there is a reasonable chance that you could carry through with the threat, and the person is afraid. Verbal assault is not saying something someone doesn't like, as in "be quiet" or even "Shut the fuck up", if I had said that.

I've been through this with him before. He seems to think that saying anything the other person doesn't like is verbal assault. He claimed once that if I told him he can't drive his car two blocks to the store, it's verbal assault. I explained no, it isn't. If I said "You can't drive your car two blocks to the store, if you do I'll beat you with a baseball bat" that would be. I can't *MAKE* him not do it, and by saying can't, I'm making a factual error, but I'm not ASSAULTING ANYONE.

Whatever, I think it's insane. And I think it's crazy that I'm getting a lecture, and being told I'm ASSAULTING PEOPLE and PROVOKING them by telling them to be quiet, in the middle of the night, when they are yelling and smashing things.

Now, was it the best choice, in retrospect, to say something? Probably not. But I also don't believe I should have to go through life afraid to say anything anyone might not like for fear that I might provoke them in to attacking me.

He gets all condescending and tells me thats just the way it is. I can accept that things aren't the way I think they should be, but just because these things happen, it doesn't mean they're right. And just because they happen doesn't mean my friends have to lecture me and make me feel like I deserve to be beaten to death for asking for a little quiet in the middle of the fucking night.

Clearly, I'm annoyed. And I think he was being a dick. I don't call the cops for every little thing that happens. My neighbour is listening to music really loud at 2am when I'm trying to sleep? I ask him to turn it down. If he's drunk as fuck and threatens to beat the shit out of me, is this my fault? I generally ask people for little stuff like that before I waste the cops time driving all over town for noise complaints.

Whatever, maybe I'm totally in the wrong. I know it's possible, I just don't really think I am, because I'm annoyed. So there.