If you had decided to be an MD, what would your specialty be?

[Blue-Jay]

I think I'd be a dermatologist. It's kind of gross, but at least I wouldn't have to stick my finger in ears, asses, vaginas, or any other body cavities.

How difficult could it be? "Here's an ointment", "Here's a steroid shot", "Here's some benadryl", "Stop sticking your hand in there", etc.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

1. I would be a Medical Examiner/Pathologist.

I'm not morbid, I would just love to help the dead speak.
Duckie

[Blue-Jay]

3. That would be my second choice.

[vard28]

43. Me too!

It's fascinating to me.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

50. Do you watch Dr. G?

She is awesome. She seems to really care about what happened to the people she works on.
I also think that Dr. Baden is fascinating. He always has good stories.
Duckie

[vard28]

73. Is that on

cable/dish? We don't have either. We had the old fashioned dish years ago. Dish got damaged in a storm, hubby never got around to fixin' it since the warranty was expired, so I didn't renew the subscription. Haven't had anything but antenna network nbc, abc, cbs, faux, and pbs on a good day when the wind blows right. :rofl: Husband and 13 year old son have lived to tell the tale. There is NO fighting over the remote and who gets to watch what on the big hd tv in the living room. Mom's know best. :woohoo:

[MountainLaurel]

95. Same, but for different reasons

Dead people can't annoy me.

[PeaceNikki]

2. hmmm. I'd be an anesthesiologist

Something sexy about knocking people right the fuck out.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. That's about the only doctoring I could handle.

The thought of providing medical care to private areas and whatnot of obese and deformed/diseased people is enough to make me wanna vomit.

Puttin' a little breathin' mask full of knock-out gas on someone? That I can do.

[Blue-Jay]

6. Maybe you should try Foxy Boxing instead.

They have to sign a waiver, so there's no huge malpractice insurance premiums.

[PeaceNikki]

12. Hmm. I'll keep that in mind...

In case, you know... my current line of work goes the way of the dodo.

[Fox Mulder]

15. That's the only thing I'd do in the medical field.

Anything else just disgusts the fuck out of me.

[philosophie_en_rose]

4. Ophthalmologist

Day to day, it would be the least gross.

[Blue-Jay]

8. You'd need to touch eyeballs.

That's still pretty gross.

[philosophie_en_rose]

34. Better that than skin diseases.

Eyeballs aren't that gross.

[KitchenWitch]

7. Radiologist

Very little dirty about that job.

[Blue-Jay]

11. You need an MD for that?

I always figured that it was a job from the local temp-agency.

[KitchenWitch]

13. Nope, it is a specialty!

:crazy:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

26. it is more than one specialty now

what with nuclear medicine and interventional and even neuro-interventional

[AngryAmish]

97. and plain ole neuroradiologists

[DeepBlueC]

92. also very well compensated

[undeterred]

9. Surgeon

I like the operating room and all the blood.

[Blue-Jay]

14. What type of surgery?

[undeterred]

22. Vascular. Its like plumbing.

You get to repair the aortic aneurysm.

[pitohui]

10. tropical disease

unfortunately i myself turned out to have an illness that made me not suitable for such but that's what my mentor wished and what i assume i would be happy to do -- because of my own issues it was not possible

derms are cool but we all know derms are cool because they want to golf on monday and/or wednesday

[Blue-Jay]

17. I dunno... Some of those diseases can be pretty nasty.

Sure you'd be helping people, but you might get the monkey-pox.

[TZ]

19. heh.

I worked in a lab where we did test for Monkey Pox...In fact, I probably have antibodies to it....

[pitohui]

20. trust me i'm glad now i didn't follow the steps of the female "house"

but back in the day it wasn't so easy to decide

[rug]

16. Psychiatrist. It would lend a certain panche to my name-calling.

[Blue-Jay]

29. A thesaurus is cheaper than a medical degree, you rapscallion!

[rug]

45. Ah, a late-stage oppositional defiance disorder adherent, I see.

[moriah]

84. Seconded.... I was studying to be a psychiatrist

Was doing a double major, psychology and pre-med. But then I couldn't cut up the cat for Comparative Anatomy of Vertebrates.

I honestly think I could cut up a person easier than I could cut up a cat....

[snailly]

18. Pimple popper!

-Seinfeld

[ghostsofgiants]

27. Haha, that's exactly what I thought of...

"SKIN...cancer..."

[flvegan]

21. Kinesiology and Exercise Science with a heavy specialism in nutrition.

The question is, would I take my passion to the Red Sox or the Patriots?

[Blue-Jay]

36. You just made those words up.

[flvegan]

41. Which would make my resume really scary.

"He's so advanced, he's practicing things we've not heard of!"

[Roon]

23. Surgeon

When I was a child, I used to cut up my stuffed animals, rearrange the stuffing, and sew them back up again. I even used my Mother's curved sail needles to make it more real. Such a goofy kid I was...I barely got my GED.

[Blue-Jay]

35. Use your interests for Good.

Otherwise, you're likely to fit the profile of a serial killer.

[Roon]

111. LOL

I just liked to play doctor.

[jeff30997]

24. Proctology.

Because I love to inflict pain to assholes. :evilgrin:

Like that one:



And I would call my assistant to do the job:



Bend over!

[Blue-Jay]

31. Perhaps "porn star" is easier.

[jeff30997]

37. Barf!

I know some guys say that it must be a great job but I wouldn't want to do that.

Being a piece of meat is not one of my fantasies.:puke:

[Roon]

112. Did you know that in the olden days

Proctologists used to use a candle to see?

[Celebration]

25. Psychiatrist

The market is just too great to ignore.

[Blue-Jay]

30. Not according to Tom Cruise.

He's an expert, you know.

[Celebration]

68. Heh

Tom Cruise is an idiot, but I don't think I'd be force feeding SSRIs to people either.

[Midlodemocrat]

88. LOL. When I was deciding between psychiatry and pscyhology

the only reason I didn't go into psychiatry is that I can't stand blood and guts. When I did a rotation in the ER, I about hurled every day.

[phusion]

28. orthopaedics

nuts and bolts, sweet!

[jeff30997]

33. Yeah it could be fun:

:)

[FloridaJudy]

32. Exactly the same as it is as a nurse

OB/GYN. If I had it to do over, I'd get the little bit more education I'd need to become a midwife, but I doubt I'd want to go to medical school. It just takes too damned long, and costs too much, and the only difference between a obstetrician and midwife is that the MD can do surgery and care for high-risk pregnancies, neither of which appeal to me.

Body cavities aren't all that gross, except for mouths. I'd hate to be a dentist, for instance - decayed teeth and halitosis really gross me out. Isn't it great that we're not all alike? I'm sure my dentist shudders at the thought of doing pap smears, whereas I pride myself on being both gentle and thorough at it, while she's just as much a whiz at root canals.

[Blue-Jay]

42. Thank you!

You probably don't hear that enough.

I figured this thread would be a goof, but I sincerely thank you for doing what you do.

[SarahB]

83. I'm in the same field as you, but...

I wouldn't want to be an ob/gyn, unless I was in a large practice. Otherwise, it's just so hard on one's personal life. Still though, I don't have much of a desire to perform surgery on people. I'm still trying to figure out if I want to go your route and be an APRN in women's health (not so into being a CNM) or get a master's focusing on administration. I like the clinical aspect, but I think by the time I'm in my 50's (I'm 36 now), I may want to move into a different realm with the field.

[Twillig]

38. Forensic pathologist

Anything else I'd end up killing people. Then I'd be off to give physicals down at the Plasma center.

:nuke:

[Blue-Jay]

44. I dunno... That's pretty gross.

Sure, you would never need to worry about killing anyone, but MEs don't always get the "freshest" of patients (if you know what I mean). Not as much pressure, but it takes a strong stomach.

[FloridaJudy]

52. Sorry to disappoint you

But the physicals at the plasma centers are done by nurse practitioners like me. I know because I've sold my blood to pay for cat food whilst I was unemployed.

You could always do insurance physicals, though. That way, if you screw up the only ones who lose are the insurance companies, and they make way more money than is reasonable anyway.

[Twillig]

59. Well, I had a physical exam done by a doctor. Or so they said (!)

Of course this was way back, but I have the nice identifying scar in my arm(s) and I lost count of all the movies I watched.

[FloridaJudy]

62. Did they make you watch "Clash of the Titans"?

Most painful part of the whole experience, IMHO. I brought books, but couldn't turn off the sound track. If I ever have to do it again, I'm bringing the Zen MP3 player I bought when I was flush.

[Dr. Strange]

39. Boobologist.

Dr. temeah and I would have a nice cozy practice set up in JGD's basement.

[Blue-Jay]

48. Is that like a plastic surgeon?

I only ask, because I know a person who could use an ass-lift.

[Dr. Strange]

74. Probably not.

I'm not fond of the sight of blood. I think the boobologist's main job is to look at boobs and tell the patient, "Hey, those are nice."

[quip]

102. I want to be the guy whom the Boobologist calls for a second opinion!

:thumbsup:

[Taverner]

40. Anesthesiologist

I sometimes wish I would have done that

[sniffa]

46. I'd be whatever would most likely be accepted in Europe

And whatever country also favored my super-hot wife's profession.

I hate France, but I'll learn to stop bathing and stop wearing shorts. Oh, and I'll pretend to be mute, and get by on my last name.

[Blue-Jay]

51. ALL countries favor super hot wives.

[RiffRandell]

47. Pharma.

They count out pills and salivate.

[Blue-Jay]

49. I don't think you need an MD for that.

I could be wrong, however.

[TZ]

53. Not an MD

Its 3 or 4 years of Pharmacy School.

[KitchenWitch]

54. the PharmD is actually 6 years of school.

2 years of pre pharmacy and four years in the PharmD program.

[Blue-Jay]

69. Six years to learn how to count to 30?

Boy, did I ever fuck up.

[Connonym]

79. is that nationally?

I know they recently changed it to a PHD program at the University of Wisconsin. Fucking amazing money. One of my friends is the chemo pharmacist at the hospital in town and not only does she make amazing $$ she gets about 30 days of vacation a year. Makes me wish I had a little discipline in my ill-spent yout

[MissMillie]

96. that field is in high demand

and w/ a PharmD degree, you don't necessarily have to just count pills. Some of these guys are the ones who do some pretty serious research w/ drug companies and REALLY pull in the big bucks.

I tried to get my son to go to Pharm school... he wasn't interested.

[Midlodemocrat]

114. Some of them also do palliative care.

The whole PharmD thing was enacted because some patients were getting confused about who their doctors were. It was designed to prevent that confusion.

It's a great job. Lots and lots of money.

[Lyric]

55. Combination of Family Med and Pediatrics.

I'd want to be a rural doctor helping poor people who don't have much access to doctors or healthcare.

In fact, I still very well might do that. :)

[Chan790]

56. Dermatology means treating melanomas too.

It's not all topical or easy. You've got a bleeding ulcerated spot...you go to the G.P. The G.P. is going to send you to the dermatologist because he's not really an expert and while he has a pretty good idea that it's skin cancer, he'd rather not have to tell you and he's not certain that's what it is.

So he passes the buck and you get to be the bearer of bad news.

Me? I want to be an anesthesiologist...you make the big bucks, you almost never have to get dirty, and you never have to bear any news to anybody.

[XemaSab]

77. Or if you do have to give someone the bad news

they're dead or unconscious anyway. :P

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

57. Not proctology.

I have to wonder what motivates med students to choose that specialty.

[Blue-Jay]

65. Money or Comedy must be the motivation.

Butthole doctors have nice houses and FUNNY stories.

[bigwillq]

58. Penisologist

:P :evilgrin:

[Blue-Jay]

60. Pervert.

[bigwillq]

61. Well, you asked

I was just being honest! :P ;)

[Efilroft Sul]

63. Pediatrics.

Two boys in four years. I've seen much and taken care of much on my own. And I've developed good instincts to figure out what's wrong when the books aren't much help.

Plus, kids are a scream. How could you not want to help them grow up safe and healthy?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

64. psychiatrist

[Blue-Jay]

66. Why do you feel that way?

[MorningGlow]

67. Endocrinologist

Because the endos I met with were complete assholes and didn't even know their own specialty. A holistic MD (also an option) saved my life when the endos told me to get lost.

[Whoa_Nelly]

70. Forensic Anthropologist

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forensic_anthropology

[Pierre.Suave]

71. Emergency Medicine/Trauma Surgery

If I had to pick of course...

:P

[GoneOffShore]

72. Proctologist

Because then I'd only have to deal with one asshole at a time.

[phusion]

75. LOL n/t

[mwooldri]

76. Urologist.

Vested interests (my son).

Enough said, Mark.

[quip]

101. Dude, I've got your vanity plate right here:

:hi:

[XemaSab]

78. Forensic pathology

I collect skulls, and I have been known to pick up roadkill. Forensic pathology isn't that much further down that road.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

80. How about...psychiatrist!

:P

[billyskank]

81. Not a single gynaecologist here?

:D

[Skittles]

82. don't go there billyskank

no INDEED!!!

[moriah]

85. My ex was an OBGYN.

His comment upon entering his residency:

"They're ALWAYS bleeding!"

[quip]

93. Hey, Skittles!

Would it shock you to learn that my dad was an OB/GYN?

:rofl: :hi:

[Skittles]

115. whoa!!!!!!!!!

my dad was a native-born Minnesotan and a meteorologist - the only female he dealt with was Mother Nature! :hi:

[MsTryska]

86. I would be an Endocrinologist.

hormonal balance is fun!!

[SmokingJacket]

87. Neurologist

I like the brain.

[bertha katzenengel]

89. Sports medicine. n/t

[terrya]

90. Plastic surgeon

If that can be thought of as an MD.

[SoxFan]

91. Mad Scientist

You know, reanimating corpses, transplanting brains into robots, that good stuff.

[RainDog]

94. Dr. of Dickology

I dunno, it just sounds like fun.

[Dr. Strange]

98. So...

you'd be studying Nixon and Cheney?

[quip]

99. THAT'S a "Proctologist"-- studying assholes

[quip]

100. THAT'S a dupe

[Dr. Strange]

103. THAT'S another dupe

Edited on Tue Sep-16-08 11:10 AM by temeah

[quip]

104. Okay, you had me going there for a minute!

Leg pulled on Tue Sep-16-08 11:10 AM by DuStrange

[TZ]

106. I have to hand it to you DuStrange

I don't think anyone else is as clever an "editor" as you...:rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

107. Methinks thou shalt like this then...

Du it long, Du it hard, Du it Strange.

[RainDog]

108. Yes. I would. - Or I could be a dicknotist

Blue-Jay is talking about a speciality, not necessarily an ACTUAL one, tho. I'd like to be one of those quack doctors. Dr. of Dickology, you know, and everyone who comes to my practice has to drop trou and be photographed.

or, as a part of my practice, I could be a dicknotist - look into my eye - you are getting sleeeeepy.

[Reverend_Smitty]

105. Orthopedic Surgery or Sports Medicine...

My career is related to those specialties so I have a keen interest in the subject

[Ava]

109. cardiologist

studying the heart and circulatory system were my favorite parts of biology :hi:

[XNASA]

110. That's a big 'IF'.

But I would have loved to have been a pediatrician. I like kids. And besides, then I could have maybe fixed the Lounge.

[LisaM]

113. Since I am a DEMOCRAT, I would be a GP

specialization does not serve the public good as well. Or maybe I'd go into public health.