I hate Chuck Norris and jokes about Chuck Norris.

[Danger Mouse]

I'm sorry, they're not funny. Chuck Norris is an ultra right-wing king among douche bags. I see no reason to glorify his worthless ass with jokes about how tough he is. Har de fucking har, Chuck Norris could crush thirty babies with a flick of his finger. Stuff along those lines. NO, Chuck Norris does not kick any asses anymore, he only kisses them. Especially if they are Republican asses. And those asses have lots of money.
Chuck Norris likes money. And asses.
So yeah. I fucking hate Chuck Norris. The douche bag.

[Fox Mulder]

1. Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but he never cries.

:rofl:

:hide:

[Danger Mouse]

4. Oh, sure he does. He cries whenever a Republican loses money.

[DS1]

2. That's okay, it was Jack Baeur writing them all, anyway

to deflect attention from his own ass-kicking ways


:hide:

[Danger Mouse]

3. Jack Bauer could kick Chuck Norris ass with a mean look.

And he'd do it while drunk, too.

[Chan790]

5. You might like this one then. I did.

[Mad_Dem_X]

9. LOL! Love it!

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

6. and yet you post about him?

perhaps you need help

[Danger Mouse]

12. Uh, okay, whatever.

[Deja Q]

7. Yeah, but those Total Gym products turn me on!!

All that's missing is some whipped cream and pizza sauce... :9

[Tektonik]

8. They're not funny because they're stale and old as fuck

They used to be funny though.

[Orrex]

10. Au contraire!

They didn't even start to get funny until they stopped being funny. That's when the meta-joke really takes flight!

[montanto]

15. I agree, I can't stand Norris, , ,

I always hear that deep, phony, movie trailer voice introducing an upcoming film saying: "Behind Chuck Norris's beard there is no chin . . . only another fist." So stupid. There's probably a dildo behind there. Makes me smile every time.

[Orrex]

11. Even this one?

Made me laugh, because I know that the author has an absolutely phenomenal sense of humor.

If the intent of the jokes was to glorify Chuck Norris, the worthless rightwing asshole, then of course I'd agree with you. But the beauty IMO is that they mock him outright with their over-the-top bombastic adoration of him. The joke is in crafting increasingly ridiculous pro-Norris sentiments while still retaining the feel of the earlier ones, which IIRC really were intended to praise him on some level.

[Mojambo]

13. Just replace Chuck Norris with George Clooney

Then you can still enjoy the jokes and not have your liberalness tainted.

[Give_Peace_A_Chance]

14. I hate chuck norris

walker texas ranger and all of his movies/shows are a waste of
time. How did he ever get on the air!!!

[XemaSab]

16. Can I read this thread while watching "Walker?"

:shrug:

[XemaSab]

17. Walker is soft on crime. Him and Kay Bailey.

They both led a group of young criminals to a better life through a boot camp program.

And yeah, Walker had to beat up 10 guys at once. :D

[Connonym]

18. One of the young guys at work wears a "facts about Chuck Norris" T shirt

he says it was $2 on clearance so he bought it. I don't know him well enough to know if he's wearing it with irony but I suspect he is as he's otherwise a smart ass and librarians seem to generally lean left (with the caveat that I've only been there 3 weeks and I'm judging simply by the abundance of liberal bumper stickers in the employee lot and the remarkable absence of anything remotely conservative, which is sort of odd for my fair city)

[elshiva]

19. He is an ASSHOLE