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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:18 PM
Original message
tell us something about your childhood that traumatized you
i was drawing a picture of unicorns and rainbows that i was really proud of and i showed my dad.

he called me a sissy and told me that's why he drank.
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behave Donating Member (228 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
1. One Christmas my brother received a realistic looking gun that shot hard plastic bullets
...and he started shooting the ornaments on the tree.
Although he had been shooting at me prior to that
it was the thought that he was shooting to kill Christmas itself when he was nailing our tree that kind of traumatized me for a while.
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MonkeyFunk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:40 PM
Response to Original message
2. They cut the end off my dick
I couldn't walk for a year.
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Reterr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Like Jake The Peg
Edited on Tue Jul-22-08 11:49 PM by Reterr
:o

Edit: Ok, I guess my mind is always in the gutter. Looks like I always misunderstood that song :wow:. He did actually mean a third leg!
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Symarip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:40 PM
Response to Original message
3. My dad took me to see Billy Ocean when I was 8
As I type this, I feel my fight or flight instinct kick in. Someone, hold me. I hear Caribbean Queen somewhere in the back of my skull.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:43 AM
Response to Reply #3
16. Oh hell yeah, that song ROCKED!!!!
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Symarip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #16
42. I fought the urge to click on the link
But I did, and I found the horror of that night in 1986 kick in all over again.

(shudder)
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:41 AM
Response to Reply #42
67. You say horror but you must really mean WONDER!!
:rofl:
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PBS Poll-435 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:41 PM
Response to Original message
4. Clowns
'Nuff said.

:scared:
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. Discovering that Richard Nixon was a real person, and not just a scary cartoon by Herblock.
I can remember the Watergate hearings on TV and not understanding them; even when my Mom said: "The President did something bad." I barely knew who or what the President was...
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-08 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
7. My brother and I were walking through the woods behind our house.
He managed to accidentally stop on a bees' nest.

He was five years older than I was, so he could run a lot faster than I could.

Needless to say, he, the one who got the bees pissed off in the first place, only got two or three stings.

I, the one who did nothing wrong, got 12 or 13 stings. This would have been about first grade, if I recall correctly.

For some reason bees just didn't like me when I was a child. There were numerous other occasions where I was minding my own business and I got stung. But this time was more than just a single sting.

I think that may also be why I don't like pierced ears. Because one of the stingers went in one side of my earlobe and out the other. So technically I have had one of my ears pierced. Just not on purpose and there was never an earring involved.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Ow.
:hug:
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:28 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. A bee got inside the house today and I had to get it.
Damn thing decided it liked the screen it was on and it wouldn't move. I put a tupperware container on it, but I couldn't get it off to put the lid on without getting it riled up and pissed off. I was a bit nervous. Haven't been stung since I was a child, but I'm not in any hurry to experience it again.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. A friend of mine was leaving for a gig,
and went into her backyard to kiss her husband goodbye. She had done her hair and moussed it up (this was in the "big hair" days). Unfortunately, she stepped too close to a nest of yellowjackets, and her husband had to hose her off to get the buggers out of her hair. :scared:
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Callalily Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:03 AM
Response to Reply #13
23. I too used that as an excuse
for my dad when I was a kid. But you know, just can't justify mean behavior, no matter what.

:hug:
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #23
99. It doesn't justify it...
It doesn't excuse it, and it certainly doesn't undo it. But it helped me understand why. That's important for someone who's trying to mend the shreds of self confidence. :hug:

(I assume you're responding to my post below) :)
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #10
43. when ever you're trying to catch a bug like that, use a piece of paper
and slip it between the container and the screen :hi: Bees don't live long in this house, my dog is allergic, so if I can't catch them the first couple of tries....I know, bee shortage, but it's them or the life of my dog.
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
8. Let's just say it involved a swarm of bees
and leave it at that.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:30 AM
Response to Original message
11. No offense, but...
your dad sounds like a jerk. :hug: :hug: :hug:

My father had a few special moments like that too....like the time he accused me of something I didn't do, and spanked me until I confessed. I hated him for quite awhile. Then I figured out that he was treating me they same way he'd been treated as a child.
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
12. A neighbor attempted to molest me...but failed.
I hit him and told him to leave me alone, and ran away. He never tried again.
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bluesbassman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
14. I had a similar experience.
Spent all day drawing a poster for my mom's meeting. MY dad came home, took one look at it and said, "What are you wasting your time with that crap for"? I didn't find out until years later that he wasn't talking about my work, but rather my mom's club. Moral is to really be careful how you phrase things.
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crimsonblue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
15. i was accused of calling a kid in choir a "nigger"
but I did not call him that. My mom kept yelling at me and coming back into my bedroom, saying I had to confess or she would continue to spank me. I finally lied and told her I did it.

Then, just a year ago, she tells the story to some family friends with us all gathered, thinking it would be a very funny story. I got angry and left. fucking parents.


Also, I was accused of sexual harassment in middle school by a girl i'd never talked to. my mom got called to the principal's office, and I refused to confess, knowing I had done nothing wrong. Luckily, the vice-principal liked me, and believed me over the compulsively lying trailer trash that was seeking attention because her parents were alcoholics that neglected her.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:47 AM
Response to Original message
17. Got swarmed by roaches once.
I was already creeped out by them, but I was sitting in our dining room with a light on, and our old refrigerator kicked on with a loud shudder. A dozen or so roaches swarmed from behind it, half of them crawling, half of the flying--all straight at me.

Still terrified of roaches.

I've got worse stories involving a sociopathic brother, but I save those for future therapy. :)
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quakerboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 01:15 AM
Response to Original message
18. So many
Umm... My parents killed my dog when I was 6.

When I was about 7 I got beat until I couldn't remember whether I had done what I was accused of or not. To this day, I have 2 full, complete recollections of the event in question, both with full life detail, one where I do it, and one where I do not.(have I mentioned I oppose waterboarding and all other forms of torture?)

When I was 8, I flew 2000 miles by myself to spend a month with my grandparents. When my Gma was away at work, my drunk grandfather kicked me out into an alley because I(a picky eater) refused to eat a new type of food(polish sausage, and I still despise most forms of sausage)

Other than that, a few things happened under the age of 10. I stepped over a bush, only to hear a rattle. Look down, and there is a rattler right between my legs. Got bit by a Black Widow.

Then there were TV shows that I watched late night at a friend with irresponsible parents house because we didn't have a TV. One, if I recall, was called "the faces of death". At about 7, that was somewhat traumatic. The other involved a swarm of leaches that came from a toilet and ate people. I think I am over that now, but at the time, I lived in the basement, with my own toilet that happened to be in an unfinished room with no light bulb. I recall putting down a layer of hair spray, then a layer of TP, repeat until I felt that the toilet was safely sealed for the night.
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ForrestGump Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:22 AM
Response to Original message
19. This.


It came out of Scotland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldfkBwFyXgs

Have to admit, now, though, that it has some nostalgic appeal. Seven was a good year.



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callous taoboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:30 AM
Response to Reply #19
26. Oh god make it stop please!!!!
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mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:31 AM
Response to Original message
20. My dad took me to see a documentary about bigfoot sightings
at the theater on campus when I was about 6, needless to say I was too scared to go to sleep so my mom told him he had to lay down with me. At the time, he was a pretty hirsute guy, long beard, long hair, hairy, hairy, hairy. So we fall asleep and sometime during the night I rolled over and brushed against his beard and woke up screaming that bigfoot was in my bed. Could be why I have never dated I guy with a beard or back hair....
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callous taoboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:31 AM
Response to Reply #20
27. I could see that being very traumatic, but I laughed my ass off. Sorry.
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mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #27
102. Join the club...
my parents think that is one of the best stories of my formative years....
Assholes ;)
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ProdigalJunkMail Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:56 AM
Response to Reply #20
50. i am pretty sure I saw the same thing
slept with my head under the covers for a while after that one...just my nose sticking out for fresh air...

sP
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 05:45 AM
Response to Original message
21. Finding out what death was at 5 years old.
It was when my great grandmother died. After her funeral at our church they had her casket open as people were filing out of the church. I went up to hear and said "Wake up Nana its time to go now, its time to go back home". I thought that she was asleep in a specially made bed because at the time we had a hospital bed for her at home. And since she was old, they took her out so that she could rest. Well I couldn't understand why she was not moving so I got sadder and started crying and that's when our family friend had to pick me up to take me out of the church. Later on that day I was so mad because I did not understand and I was just mad so I started flipping the bird to everyone. I didn't flip my middle finger but I flipped my pinky finger - but I was angry and serious. I think that this is where my brain got the chemical imbalance and my depression started.

But I got a bit of comfort one day when I was looking out of the window in the kitchen into the backyard and I saw a white bird out of all the other black birds, I thought it was my Nana. Because she had white hair.

Actually this was a turning point because from the age of 5 to 17, I don't remember much about my childhood.I didn't block it on purpose, I can't remember much.
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Callalily Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:05 AM
Response to Reply #21
25. Some memories are just
not worth remembering. Guess it's our subconscious being protective.

:hug:
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:50 AM
Response to Reply #25
45. I think so. I remember a little bit but not much ...
I remember small things but the things I do remember are the very happy moments.
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hobbit709 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 05:50 AM
Response to Original message
22. Realizing that I was a pink monkey in a cageful of brown mokeys.
I learned early to make everyone think I was really a brown monkey.
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last_texas_dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 06:05 AM
Response to Original message
24. I led a pretty sheltered life as a child
Off the top of my head I can't think of anything really traumatizing, so instead I'll just tell about something kind of stupid...

When I was about five or six I became fascinated with the idea of watching horror movies, even though I had only seen a couple of things that could even be classified as "horror" and anything truly scary would have likely scared my wimpy self to death. But still, I would spend lots of time on the horror aisle at the local video store always begging my mom to let me rent something "scary." Anyway, one day my eye caught the video box for Poltergeist and I started bugging my mom to let me rent that one. Well, she wouldn't let me rent it ("'til I was at least a couple of years older") but she did decide to tell me the "story" of the movie...

Anyway, the story scared me so damn much that I had to have the light on when I fell asleep for at least the next few weeks, was scared to go into my closet for about that long, and wouldn't go down the horror aisle in the video store for at least a year or so- as I had become deathly afraid of the Poltergeist movie box!



Finally, during my first year of college, I decided to face my fears and watch Poltergeist. I made it through, and enjoyed the movie pretty well. (That clown toy scene *was* freaky as hell, though, even at the age of eighteen!)
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callous taoboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:04 AM
Response to Original message
28. Oh I've got some good-uns:
'74: Mom dies suddenly of a stroke when I'm nine. Fucked. Me. Up. Prior to that day I was the happiest little kid. :cry: (Note: ALWAYS get your child into therapy when something as traumatic as that happens. Always. No, I got no therapy and instead became an expert at escapism, especially through drugs by '78.)

'75: Fourth grade math teacher screams at me in front of the class to, "Grow up!" after she saw that I had numbered my paper incorrectly for a test (because I was freakin' scared to death of that witch). :scared: I now teach third grade and have that woman to thank for making me be extra gentle with the young. Incidentally, I was in third grade when mom died. Weird, huh? I'm drawn to those little critters. :grouphug:

'77: Dad remarries. She is a neurotic, selfish freak who completely takes my dad out of my life. :mad:

'79: Step-mom, I'm sure, convinces my dad to send me off to military school where, after one month, I get kicked out for smoking hash. :evilgrin:

'82: I crash a small Cessna airplane while flying solo for the second time. It was partly my fault, but it shook my confidence in making sound decisions. :nuke:

'83: The traumatic shit tapers off now that I'm out of the house and enjoying independent life at college. :toast:

Events early in life can really mar you. I'm fairly well-adjusted now at 43, but all of the above events have culminated in making me very shaky in a lot of areas, especially in the area of trust.
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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:06 AM
Response to Original message
29. When I was five, I accidentally saw my father naked.
I was terrified. For years, I thought he had a horrible disease because he had "stuff" growing on him!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:15 AM
Response to Original message
30. When I was 7, our nanny one day used domestic mustard on my prosciutto and Idiazbal sandwich.
:cry: :scared:

Worst day of my life.
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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 07:38 AM
Response to Reply #30
31. Oh, Rabrrrrrr! How many years of psychotherapy did you need? nt
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #31
48. I'm sorry, I just really don't want to talk about it. The pain is still so fresh in my mind.
:cry:

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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:01 AM
Response to Original message
32. Something very similar happened to me. I loved to draw, as a kid.


I remember once when I was a preschooler, I had a piece of typing paper in my hand and was heading for the kitchen to draw a picture at the kitchen table. My father was coming the other way. He saw me, snatched the paper out of my hand, balled it up, and threw it in the trash.

By the way, he died of alcoholism when I was a kid.

Also by the way, I never told anybody about this until I told a friend in college. Good old "no talk" rule.

I feel your pain, datasuspect. :hug:


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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:24 AM
Response to Reply #32
75. The drawing thing is interesting -- seems to evoke some stuff.
I have a few memories of showing my artwork to my mother. I was a pretty good artist for a kid, not fantastic, but pretty good -- especially horses. My mom is a very good artist and has painted for years. When I showed her drawings, I just wanted what any kid wants, for a parent to gush and praise and say stuff like: "Oh my gosh -- that's beautiful and I love it!" Instead, she would critique my work (Oh, well, it looks like the perspective is a little off there...") I realized that my mom is at heart very insecure and competitive, and that was one little way it came out in here.

Whenever my kids show me art, I just praise it. And I mean it. I'm proud of them. :)
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #75
78. Good for you, being a better parent to your kids.

In my case, I think my father slighted and mistreated me to piss off my mother. It was like somebody said in Usenet about an ex, "She is slapping the children as hard as possible in hopes that you'll feel the pain." I think my father was doing exactly that to me.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #78
83. Yikes. That is horrible.
My stuff is minor in comparison to that. Still, it's interesting how it all stays with you.
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:01 AM
Response to Original message
33. when my house burned
Edited on Wed Jul-23-08 08:09 AM by stuntcat
Losing most of my stuff all at once, kinda changed me forever. I was 11 or 12. Now I keep all my photos together on shelves under the window at the foot of my bed, so in case anything happens while I'm there I can throw them all out the window. And every time I leave I have to wait and think of all the ways the house could catch fire, I even have a list taped to the front door of what to double check.

( :hug: for your Dad saying stuff like that to you)
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callous taoboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:07 AM
Response to Reply #33
35. That sucks.
My traumatic event with fire:
Me and a fellow third grader were out in the woods with some matches. We found an old, empty oil can and filled it up with anything we could find: Wood, trash etc. including an empty spray paint can. We got a roaring fire going and then got scared about it so we started stirring it to put it out and the spray paint can exploded in our faces. Singed our eye brows off and left tiny burn marks on our faces. Kind of felt like Elmer Fudd there.
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:15 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. okay, whoa!
It could have been ended up much worse than it did! :o It does sound kinda cartoony looking back at it hehe
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callous taoboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:25 AM
Response to Reply #36
37. kaBLOOOIE! Us standing there with black faces and torn clothes.
I know. That kid I hung with was Trouble. He would jump to the court yard from the roof of his mom's second floor apartment. He was ADD before there was a label for it.
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:04 AM
Response to Original message
34. When my mom stopped talking
to her mother and her step-father for a few years and I couldn't go over their house and visit them. I loved going to their house. I would mow the lawn on the rider mower, help my step-grandfather in the garden and with the chickens. I loved playing in their yard.

Everybody has eventually reconciled but it was pretty traumatic for me when I was a young kid.
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:33 AM
Response to Reply #34
39. Same here
When I was 7, my parents divorced (back when hardly ANYbody got divorced), we sold our house and my mom and I moved into a horrible apartment. Talk about traumatic! But on top of that, my mother decided to stop speaking to her sister, so I didn't even have the comfort of going to my aunt and uncle's house (which was always a happier place than my own house).

I remember one night I had kind of a "waking dream"--I was trying to go to sleep, and then my mind started to wander, but it was quite real to me--I "dreamt" that I was an adult and married, and my aunt was feeble and elderly, and she kept trying to visit me and my husband, but we wouldn't let her in our house--we hid when she knocked on the door. I sat up screaming and crying and was entirely inconsolable. My mother was completely at a loss as to why I was in hysterics and saying over and over again, "I have to talk to auntie. I have to talk to her RIGHT NOW." She calmed me down by telling me a secret (that I was going to have a surprise birthday party in a few weeks). But I never forgot that.

Hm. I don't think I've ever told anybody that story before. Huh. Go figure.

Anyway, they eventually reconciled as well, a couple of years later. Things were peaceful from that point (late '70s) through the '80s. But then after my uncle died in '91, my aunt morphed into an uber-Catholic Nazi Rush-lovin' Repuke and, although I still love her because she's my aunt, she's no longer my favorite person in the world. (Let's call that a trauma from my adult years.)
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:07 AM
Response to Reply #39
51. I am sorry you had to go through that.
Thanks for sharing. :hug:
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:15 AM
Response to Reply #51
52. And you, bigwillq
I wonder if parents really realize how much their actions affect the kids.And I wonder if explaining their motivation to the kids would help at all.

When I was 12, and had recovered nicely from all the crap that happened in my young life, my mom started making noise about wanting me to see a therapist. Too little, too late. I fought her tooth and nail and she finally gave up. Thank goodness.

Be well, BigWill. :hug:
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:20 AM
Response to Reply #52
55. My mom's family
has some issues all stemming from the death of their father. My mom was 15 at the time, her youngest sister was only 2.

My Nonni (my grandmother) remarried about 10 years later and my step-grandfather was very controlling and didn't want my Nonni to see her side of the family for whatever reason. My Nonni wasn't strong enough to control his actions so things became crazy for awhile.

Some relatives sided with them and some didn't so we didn't speak to some family members for awhile. There was a time when I didn't visit my Nonni at her home for about 8 years or so. My mom's only brother still does not talk to my step-grandfather. My cousin (mom's brother's son) has never even seen my step-grandfather nor has he ever been to their house.

But things are better now. :hug:
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #55
90. Mm. "The sins of the father" and all that.
Meaning all these conflicts and issues just go on and on and on within a family.

On a lighter note, I come from a big Italian family (although it is much smaller than it used to be), and when my brother visits from California, he asks for a scorecard so he'll know who we're speaking to--and who we're not--at that particular point in time.
:rofl:
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #90
94. Maybe it's just us Italians
Maybe we hold grudges way too long! :P ;) :) :hi:
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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #94
95. Oh HELL yeah, paisan!
That isn't stereotyping--that is TRUE.
:rofl:
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #39
84. I'm sorry that you were hurt, MG.
I know that you do everything that you can to make sure that your little guy hurts as little as possible. :hug:

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MorningGlow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #84
89. Thanks, Dream
It got easier, especially about four years later, when my mom ditched the loser boyfriend she brought around almost the very minute we moved into the apartment (had it been an affair? to this day I don't know--she isn't talking and I'm not asking--since then we've pretended the guy never existed). Kids are pretty resilient (as this thread shows); however, you're right--there is NO WAY I'd ever cavalierly put my son's emotions at risk. :hi:
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RedShoes Donating Member (658 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:28 AM
Response to Original message
38. when I was seven, my sister held me down so that one of her friends could rape me
I didn't really understand hat was going on at the time, or what I had done, or why....it's now twenty plus years later, and she is a drug addled gas bag, and I have a hard time feeling sorry for her. :shrug:
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #38
44. JFC, RedShoes
:hug:
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RedShoes Donating Member (658 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:18 AM
Response to Reply #44
53. oooh, it's okay...I'm a survivor, not a victim
She is a sick person, and it has taken me years to understand that I can't "fix" her. Now she struggles with cocaine/crack addiction and one of her sons lives with me (oh. fucking. joy.) <<<------but that's only because he is on my nerves at the moment. :)
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #38
47. I am so sorry.
That should never happen to anyone man,woman or child. I am so sorry.
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RedShoes Donating Member (658 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:25 AM
Response to Reply #47
56. You are so kind.
It wasn't until about a year ago that I forgave myself for that happening to me. I know that sounds strange, but it is the truth. No one 'deserves' something like that, and she orchestrated it.


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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #56
70. No it was not your fault.
No matter what age someone is, its never their fault. I had a cousin that was molested and no one did anything about it. The person who did it was sent away to live with his father. My cousin was not the only one that this happened to. No charges were pressed and I am not sure if she remembers it but I do. And it hurts.
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:04 PM
Response to Reply #38
86. Oh...
:cry:

I'm so sorry. :cry:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

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RedShoes Donating Member (658 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #86
105. you are very kind...
and it is alright. :hug:
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noonwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:36 AM
Response to Original message
40. My dad outdrove a tornado with all of us in the car
We could see it in the distance and my mom kept begging him to pull over so we could get in the ditch. He didn't find the ditch to be protection, and said if we drove in the opposite direction of the tornado's path, we'd be okay. He was right.
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southpaw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:41 AM
Response to Original message
41. When I was about 7 or 8
Edited on Wed Jul-23-08 08:50 AM by southpaw
I woke up sometime in the night to find myslef alone in the house. My mother was having an affair and had left to take her 'boyfriend' back to where he had parked his car (my dad worked a 3rd shift)
and left me sleeping.

I was totally frightened and went out on the porch and cried... loud... until she returned. She wasn't gone more than five minutes, but I had no idea where she was or if she'd ever be back.

She was upset that the neighbors had been awakened by my panicked crying. :eyes:
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ProdigalJunkMail Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:51 AM
Response to Original message
46. the lawnmowing incident...
it involved tweezers...and time...lots of time...

sP
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1gobluedem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
49. My grandparents let my sister and me watch The Birds
I was nine. That night a bird got into our bedroom. Thirty nine years later I am still afraid of birds.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:19 AM
Response to Original message
54. I hate subject lines
that drege the crap up.

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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:26 AM
Response to Original message
57. There were many
through both words and beatings. There's one that I think is why I sometimes wake up with a start and it takes a while for the anxiety & heart racing to go away.

I was 10-11 yrs old, sleeping on a cot in the living room so my 2nd oldest brother, who was on leave from the service could have the bedroom I had shared with his wife while he was gone. I can remember hearing him asking my Mom why I didn't get hit like he had been, that I talked entirely too much and something should be done. He really had no idea, but before he went back, he got to see it.

One morning, I awoke to my Mom screaming and hitting me and accusing me of doing something to the 3-4 week old kittens that were born under our crawl space and had recently ventured out. I remember being disoriented and wondering why I was in the living room.

I honestly don't know why the woman didn't go check the kittens herself..but she was also crying and said she could see they were falling over and they were weak & dying and I must have done something to cause it. I still don't understand that part either, what did she think I had done? I went outside, picked up one and could feel a crusty coating, and could see it't little body was covered with fleas. I gathered the kittens and brought them inside and bathed them. Those poor babies had so many fleas the water turned red as the crustiness dissolved. I hand picked fleas and drowned them in soapy water, got the kittens cleaned and convinced(ok argued with her) my Mom that we had to use something on them to kill fleas.

The kittens survived and so did I.
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BelleCarolinaPeridot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:22 AM
Response to Reply #57
74. You were nuturing the kittens....
the way that your mom should have nutured you :hug:
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #74
87. Thank you for the hug.
Through the years I've realized she had no idea how to nurture. Her Mom didn't nurture her, she wasn't even allowed to cry and was hit if she did. The kitten situation was one of the few times I ever saw my Mom cry.

She always told me I was "normal" and capable of taking care of myself; my older sister had Down syndrome and needed her more..and if only my sister was able to have 1/2 of my intelligence. :( I grew up really thinking my Mom hated me..she confirmed her years of "dislike" with her last words to me before she died. :(

It's taken me until recently to realize it's probably why I've never succeeded at much of anything after HS where the teachers were my only support. My own feelings of guilt have a way of directing my decisions and hindering me.

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:32 AM
Response to Original message
58. That is terrible.
I was riding my bike and thought I had enough time to get to the other side of the road. Well, I didn't. A truck nailed me. I was okay for the most part. Just really banged up. But it scared me to death, and I wouldn't get on my bike for a while.
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annonymous Donating Member (850 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
59. Losing my virginity at the age of 12
My background made me attractive to a pedophile, namely, child from a troubled background (child abuse, poverty) whose parents fought all the time, resentful about being used as a free babysitter by my Mom, lonely and wanting someone to talk to. This creep took advantage of this and drugged me so he could have sex with me. This incident taught me to be wary of others and to avoid any drug that would lower my inhibitions.
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #59
85. I'm sorry that that happened to you.
:(

:hug:

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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:36 AM
Response to Original message
60. When I was six a group of neighborhood older kids beat me so bad I was hospitalized
My 13 year old cousin then went out and beat one of my attackers to death with a baseball bat.

My cousin dropped out of High School, served time in Texas for accessory to murder, got out of prison and earned his GED, became a heroin addict and worked for years at a car wash, got off drugs, got engaged, entered College and was one semester away from earning his BS and was killed in an automobile accident the day before my Brother's Wedding.

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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:14 PM
Response to Reply #60
97. What a tragic story...
Sad for everyone...
:hug: :hug: :hug:
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:37 AM
Response to Original message
61. Got tossed in a river when I was 8 and almost drowned
I've been stupid about water ever since. :shrug:
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Z_I_Peevey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 09:38 AM
Response to Original message
62. Trauma lite:
Being taken to see "Psycho" at age six;

Walking barefoot down the alley into a large patch of stickers and being stuck there, crying loudly, for what seemed like hours until a neighbor man came out and carried me home; and

Being scalded on the scalp by water heated too hot in a kettle, for rinsing my just-washed-with-lye-soap hair.

Trauma not-so-lite: I'm saving those for future fictional characters to re-experience.
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montanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
63. Vietnam. nt
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
64. Moving from Canada to the U.S. at fifteen.
Edited on Wed Jul-23-08 10:15 AM by crim son
People comment on my self-loathing: it stems from that period. Being bright, articulate, well-read, well-spoken and reasonably attractive wasn't what my american peers were looking for. They wanted great clothes, huge boobs and a vehicle. As I type this I am still overwhelmed with anger, that my parents would move us, that I was so roundly rejected, that I was so profoundly affected by the people I interacted with (or didn't, as is closer to the truth).
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:24 AM
Response to Original message
65. I don't remember it all
But it involved my teenaged male neighbor when I was about 7. My sweet dog Herbie saved me in the woods.
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nels25 Donating Member (636 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
66. When I was approximatly 10 and my
dad got mad at me, took me to the upstairs bathroom bent me over the commode, pulled my pants down and well I hope you can gather the rest (it is not something I talk about to often, but I feel kind of safe to allude of it among you kind friends at DU).


In this day and age my dad would have gotten locked up for what he did.

In 1965, not so much.

Sigh!!
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:50 AM
Response to Original message
68. I've mentioned this one before
A few families went to Toronto for a vacation, on the way back the car overheated right outside of Toronto so we pulled off the highway and went to McDonald's to get something to eat. I went to the counter to get something and when I came back around the corner everyone was gone.

I went to look for the car and that was gone also. I walked around for quite some time and finally flagged down a trooper. You should have seen his face when I told him I was lost and he asked where I am from and I said "Cleveland, Ohio...United States"..LOL

Make a long story short, my parents thought I took a ride with one of the other families and it wasn't until they got to Niagara Falls that they realized they had left their 10 year old son in another country. LOL

They lost me 2 other times, but not in other countries. It was funny even then, but I have a weird sense of humor.
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callous taoboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:20 AM
Response to Reply #68
73. Around 1972 same type of thing happened to me-
I was at least 7 years old and my dad left me to window shop in our first mall while he went into a department store. He forgot I was with him and went on back home and mom asked him where I was. D'oh! He went back to the mall and there I was still window shopping. Can't imagine leaving a 7 year old alone for one second these days.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #68
98. Sounds like the Home Alone story...
I'm glad you managed to get back with your family!
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #98
100. They had contacted the McDonalds'
So when I told the trooper (or whatever they are called in Canada) what had happened, he took me back to that McDonald's and they knew right away who I was. They called my parents in Niagara Falls and they came and got me.
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
69. I had a tick on the end of my penis
Around 5 years old, my sister who is 3 years older had to pull it off,

It was about ready to burst it sucked so much blood... :)




GOBAMA!
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:09 AM
Response to Original message
71. I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heel had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

wasting away...
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
72. I was in a plane crash when I was 10
Idiot was trying to sell it to my dad and crashed us on the demo ride, pretty scary stuff for a kid to go through :scared:

NTSB report: http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/brief.asp?ev_id=83725&key=0
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Breeze54 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
76. Catholic School.
:(
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:35 AM
Response to Original message
77. I wore a blue uniform for 8 years....
While I attended Catholic Grade School in a Polish neighborhood.

And I was forced to take accordian lessons.
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ThatsMyBarack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
79. I got pounded on the head by a dentist!
I had my first "major" dental procedure when I was seven. They told me I needed a silver crown on one of my back teeth. I was terrified with the drills, the noise....

The dentist kept telling me stuff like, "QUIT CRYING LIKE A BABY!"

At the time, I'd had a lot of issues with crying. I thought it was my fault I got treated like this. :(
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EnviroBat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #79
106. I had a dentist do that to me too when I was a kid!
This guy's name was Dr. King. He was a fucking psycho dentist. He was going to town on me with the drill, and it was hurting like hell. He slapped me across the mouth and told me to quit that crying. What a fucker. I hope he died a long, miserable death...
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ThatsMyBarack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 05:49 PM
Response to Reply #106
108. So do I, for your sake.
:hug:
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Chan790 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:44 AM
Response to Original message
80. Lawn reindeer.
I fell on one when I was 6. Wooden. Broke my arm, severed arteries, broken scapula.

That wasn't the traumatic part...I had to have the "we might not be able to save your arm (and won't know until you're under and we're inside the OR)" conversation. Then before I could rationalize/accept this, they knocked me out.

I still have two hands.
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:46 AM
Response to Original message
81. My father wanted a boy.
It certainly turned me into a feminist, so I guess that I should thank him for that! :D

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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 11:51 AM
Response to Original message
82. So, like, my little brother was playing with this machete...
and so I got a machete. And I was, like, "Let's sword fight with the machete's, bro!"

And he's all, like, "That sounds like a good idea. Let me show you a cool move."

Then he was all, like, "AHHHHHHHHH!"

And I was all, like, "AHHHHHHHHH!"

And it was all gross, so I can't get that day out of my head. And now I'm goin' to make myself into a big success because, according to my daddy, "The wrong kid died."***

:cry:

:cry:

:cry:





*** Totally stolen from a recent Judd Apatow movie. Like, totally.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:05 PM
Response to Original message
88. Molested (2 people at 2 different eras), sexually assaulted, beaten, taunted...
I won't go into details because I do not want to re-live those memories; life should be onward and upward.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #88
107. Clarification - molested BY two people...
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:19 PM
Response to Original message
91. I was trampled by a fat woman at the fair...
when a lady in a cage turned into a gorilla and jumped into the crowd. A stampede ensued.
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:23 PM
Response to Original message
92. Jeez DS
:hug: <-- how many of these will make THAT go away?
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
93. ready for this?
nothing

While life sometimes got tough (like when my mom lost her job when her company shut down) and there were things that I sometimes didn't understand (as a child often doesn't understand things), my family was very functional and quite happy.

And yes, I absolutely do know how lucky I am.
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
96. cancer. n/t
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Tikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
101. The details of my parents divorce splashed across.....
the front page of our small hometown newspaper.
It made news because of the the amount of alimony and child support
we recieved.

Of course the town took sides even though very few knew my parents.

Tikki
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EnviroBat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
103. When I was eight years old my other drove us to the babysitters house.
The babysitters husband shot himself in the basement just as we were walking to the front door. I remember the screaming and hysterical crying. I wanted to see what had happened to him. I remember the paramedics carrying him out of the house on a stretcher. There was a sheet over him with blood soaked through it. My mother trying to console her friend, (the wife). There were three kids, and the youngest was my age. Even though I was really young, I had a deep crush on her. The last thing I remember was her crying. I never saw her anymore after that.

The daycare options available to my mother when she was single, and we were barely making it, were piss poor to say the least. That wasn't the only family that we spent time with, that wasn't completely screwed up. After that, Mom had to find another sitter. The next one came with a crazed Viet-Nam Vet. I kid you not, the guy hunted Coyotes and Wolves. One afternoon he was skinning something in the basement and he called me downstairs to show me how it was done. I pretended it didn't bother me because I was scared of this guy. He used to slap his little girls around if they did something to piss him off, and I wanted no part of that, so I did what ever he asked. I still remember scraping the knife against the back of the Coyote skin, getting the layers of fat off. There were various animal skulls and bones all over this dank, dimly lit basement. Psychotic trophies of this guys obsession with killing things. Big fucking knives everywhere, and me wondering if he would kill me. A tarp was lying on the floor with blood all over it. I can still remember the smell of death down there. I think I went into another place in my mind and pretended that it was "cool". This guys wife was no better. She was an abusive fuck as well. I remember her making her daughter carry the trash outside in the snow. She wouldn't let her put her shoes on, and forced her to go out barefoot. I knew that if my sister and I stayed there much longer, we end up on the receiving end of some serious shit eventually.

I'm much. much older now, but I can still take myself back to those shitty places if I think about them long enough. I'm still working out many demons from childhood, these were just examples of a couple. When I look back on growing up, it was shitty, plain and simple. I would never subject a child to the shit that my sister and I were exposed to. that's why I've never wanted children of my own. I'm just no fucking good because of growing up in the shit I grew up in.
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-24-08 08:20 AM
Response to Reply #103
109. You and me both, enviro,
"I would never subject a child to the shit that my sister and I were exposed to. that's why I've never wanted children of my own. "

"The next one came with a crazed Viet-Nam Vet. " Let's hope he's no longer with us. Sounds like Ed Gein :scared:
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EnviroBat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-24-08 10:13 AM
Response to Reply #109
110. Hopefully we're getting a little better all the time...
My sister has been in and out of the hospital for psychosis a few times. She's doing good these days, but I can tell it's hard for her. I deal with anger issues the best I can.

Hang in there...
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tismyself Donating Member (501 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-23-08 03:20 PM
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104. discovery of the tooth fairy stash
Within a matter of minutes, most of my world fell around me like an old sock with worn out elastic. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the credibility of adults and then wondering who the hell was steering the ship so to speak - all of it.

Mind you, when LBJ was president, I believed that he sat in the White House and made Johnson Baby Shampoo that didn't sting my eyes.
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