Calling all grammar Nazis!

[varkam]

So I have a terrible habit of using hyphens entirely too much, and possibly in a way that they are not even intended for - you know, to explain an idea or to join together a couple sentences without resorting to those pesky colons. Is this kosher, or should I be summarily executed for my offenses against grammar?

[Lil Missy]

1. Blasphemy! You should be summarily tortured and executed!!

Oh hell, I kid you.

People need to lighten the fuck up.

[bridgit]

5. summarily-tortured?

:thumbsup:

[Lil Missy]

6. LOL! Yep - you have the - idea.

[mcctatas]

2. I leave a lot of hanging thoughts......

kinda like that.....

Of course, if I ever get TS'd and try to come back as a new person, I'm sure it will be a dead giveaway, maybe.....

[XemaSab]

3. I use a lot of ellipses myself....

:shrug:

[gilpo]

24. me too (and I was wondering if it was OK)

[XemaSab]

28. The problem with posting on a message board is that I post how I talk...

And my speech is apparently laden with pregnant pauses. :P

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

4. I prescribe a colon cleansing

for you...

[Duer 157099]

7. I only saw one, and it was appropriate

I think you're being too hard on yourself.

Me, I have my own sins to confess. I'm an ellipsomaniac... and I LOVE caps for emphasis, and I use WAAAAAY too many exclamation points!!!

I'm surprised nobody has chastised me yet for it...!

[varkam]

12. I am chastising you for using too many ellipses, relying on caps, and using exclamation points...

to a redonkulous effect.

(It kind of takes the fun out of it if I'm telling you that I'm chastising you, doesn't it?

[Phillycat]

20. It was not appropriate.

The dash in the OP should be a colon.

[Aristus]

21. I can't chastise you for it...

because I do it ALL the TIME!... B-)

[jobycom]

8. You mean a dash. A hyphen joins words, a dash sets off a clause or phrase.

Use a single hyphen when you join two non-connected words.

A dash is used to set off clauses or phrases. Use two hyphens to form a dash when you want to set off a clause--that way it's more clear that you aren't joining the two words on either side of the hyphen. Notice, no spaces between word and dash. Alternately, you can do what you did - use a single dash with a space on either side - but I've always prefered the closed-in double-length dash, myself.

As for how to use it, it works like a comma or semi-colon or a set of parentheses. It's more forceful than a pair of commas, not as strong as parentheses or periods. You use it properly above. You can use it to join two related sentences--people do it all the time. Or use it--as you say--to explain an idea, or to set off a qualifying clause. If you are using a lot of commas in a list, for instance, a dash can indicate that you are setting off a clause instead of making another list.

Otherwise, the only real concern stylistically is that if you use too many dashes to set off clauses instead of commas, you weaken the impact of the dashes.

My theories, anyway. I'm a history major, so I'm just guessing. :)

[varkam]

10. That sounds excellent to me!

Thank you! -

[Duer 157099]

25. You're right, but I think modern times have altered that rule

and for a good reason: too many conjoined characters can cause problems with automatic line returns. So I think alot of people have gotten in the habit of allowing spaces (between dash and words).

[jobycom]

26. Yeah, good point. nt.

[krispos42]

9. You must immediately lock, then delete, yourself.

[varkam]

11. I'm not even sure I can lock myself...

Oh well - I guess there is only one way to found out! :evilgrin:

[krispos42]

16. *ring*

*ring*

*ring*

"Argmph. He'lo?"

"Good morning Skinner!"

"Whooz'it?"

"It's Varkam!"

<pause>

"Varkam?"

"Varkam! You know, from DU?"

"Oh, Varkam. Right." <brief pause> "Christ, Varkam, it's five o'clock in the morning! Somebody had better be dying! Not dead, dead can wait until after breakfast and coffee! DYING!!! Are you dying, Varkam???"

<long pause>

"Um. Yes?"

<long ominous pause>

"Um, no?"

<ominous pause>

"Maybe?"

"You locked yourself, didn't you?"

"Um, maybe?"

<ominous pause>

<sigh> "Yes."

"This is what I'm going to do, Varkam."

"Yes?"

"First, I'm going to unlock you.

"Yes! Thank you, Skinner, you're the-"

"THEN!!!! Theeeeeeeen... Then, Varkam, you and I are going out behind the woodshed."

"Woodshed?"

"Yes, the woodshed behind the DU offices."

"But there isn't a woodshed behind the DU offices."

"There will be, as soon as you get done with it. When's the last time you handled a hammer?"

"Ummmmm... Listen, Skinner-"

"AND THEN!!!! And theeeeeeem... I'm going to put you across my lap and whip you with my belt until you can't stand."

"You're going to whip my ass?"

"Exactly. And then after that, you're off to monitor the Israel/Palentine forum for a fiscal quarter."

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[varkam]

17. Snort!

That has got to be the funniest thing I've read in a long time :rofl:

[Lithos]

34. ROFLMAO

Plus I learned about how to use a dash properly.

[Guava Jelly]

13. I like to call them Grammar pigs

The term "Nazi" is offensive to our German friends ;)

[varkam]

14. But pigs is offensive to our bacony friends.

They prefer "swine" :D

[Guava Jelly]

15. Good one

:D :rofl:
I think good grammar is offensive to those of us who don't use it :P

[krispos42]

29. Nice post, Kitler

[WinkyDink]

18. The hyphen to off-set remarks is not used enough, IMHO!

[jobycom]

23. punctuation is not in my opinion on DU frequent enough is it

[madinmaryland]

19. It sounds like you are casting asparagus. Seriesly!

[rug]

22. Whatever you write, it's incorrect without an umlaut.

[spinbaby]

27. Isn't that the hangy-down thing in your throat?

:eyes:

[woo me with science]

32. Silly, that's your uterus. nt

[NV Whino]

30. Those aren't hyphens

They are M dashes, consisting of two N dashes (or hyphens) if you are lazy and don't use the right keystroke to get a proper, solid M dash.

[Oeditpus Rex]

31. An en dash isn't the same as a hyphen

Hyphen: -

En dash: –

Em dash: —



The en dash is supposed to be used in ranges, i.e. "The Dodgers won 5–4" and "They had a healthy father–son relationship." It would seem, though, that all but the most anal grammarians just use a hyphen in such cases — no doubt because it's easier to hit the hyphen key than type alt-0150 on a PC. (I suspect it's also easier for some to hit the hyphen twice for an em dash — which is acceptable if using a typewriter — rather than type alt-0151.)

[NV Whino]

41. I bow to your superior knowledge

You are correct.

[Beausoleil]

33. Are you sure you're not looking for the Punctuation Police? n/t

[sammythecat]

35. No, you shouldn't be executed,

but whatever thought or opinion you were trying to express should be utterly ignored, and responses should be limited to pointing out the misplaced hyphen.

It's good, though, that you make these errors now and then. Some silly people here have a compulsive need to point out someone's grammatical error, no matter how inconsequential or irrelevant. Rather than a helpful and courteous PM, they like to insert themselves in the flow of a thread by publicly calling you out on a missing, or unnecessary, apostrophe and then leaving it at that. The idea you're trying to express is unworthy of any comment at all, but your grammatical error does deserve a short and pithy reprimand. After all, if you can't be fucking bothered to learn the proper use of the semicolon, how can we possibly be expected to attach any worth to the resulting gibberish.

If you never had a particularly good aptitude for grammar, and if you're still struggling with it as an adult, then, please, just don't post. Be content to read, but don't attempt to participate in any discussions. You're really not worthy and your thoughts are unimportant.

[grannylib]

36. I'm pretty much a grammar Nazi, but I too have the bad habit

of using hyphens and ellipses far too often, at least in casual writing; I'm much more particular, of course, with things I'm writing for work, or for publication, or whatever.
I say you are forgiven.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

37. I also use hyphens a lot

I have read that Jackie Kennedy also liked to use them, so we are both in very good company.

[Skittles]

38. learn how to use a semi-colon

yes INDEED

[leftyclimber]

43. But watch the semicolon splice.

I can write a fifty-page paper in about three sentences, courtesy of the semicolon. All those ideas are connected, after all!

The best advice I was ever given: once you have a subject and a verb, stop.

Although I'm kind of fond of dashes myself...

[TrogL]

39. Lay off the commas

[varkam]

42. But, I love me some commas!

:D

[sammythecat]

44. I'm semi-addicted to commas too.

I, like you, maybe, get them for free, and, consequently, tend to toss them around, fairly indiscriminately, and far too often, when I post, or respond, whether here on DU, or, occasionally, on another board, which isn't this one, but, the other one.

[Left Is Write]

40. I don't know nothin' 'bout no grammar.

[RiffRandell]

45. post it on DU...I would help you i know this sucks

[Tuesday Afternoon]

46. uh-oh

I, too am guilty of this :blush:

[Adsos Letter]

47. As pennance you must deconstruct "Absalom, Absalom!" for the lounge...

after treating us to a live reading, of course...