If there were a movie based on a story in your life

[Lilith Velkor]

What would it be called?

Who would portray you?

Who would portray your SO, or if you don't have one, your best friend?

[Patiod]

1. Geena Davis would be me

(or someone else who is tall and a little goofy - Sandra Bullock would be good, but too short).

Patrick Swayze would be my S.O. when I first met him (I'm trying to avoid him having to be played by John Goodman eventually....)

[Lilith Velkor]

23. Did you think of a title yet?

:popcorn:

[Patiod]

44. "No Good Deed"

The story of my life.

[datasuspect]

2. Twilight of the Imbeciles

robert deniro would portray me.

[loveable liberal]

3. "Stinky" is movie name, Brad Pitt would play me of course.

[Lilith Velkor]

21. No co-star?

Who would do the soundtrack?

[loveable liberal]

25. Winona Ryder would be my lovely wife

And Oasis' "Familiar to Millions" would make up much of the soundtrack. How's that?

[Lilith Velkor]

26. Ooh

That's fabulous, baby, fabulous! B-)

[DarkTirade]

4. If it was about me and my one serious relationship...

then it would probably be just one big montage set to a Stabbing Westward album.

And they'd just need someone with a big rack to portray her, and a guy with long hair to portray me. :P

[Lilith Velkor]

6. Specifics, man, specifics!

I guess the soundtrack will do in lieu of a title, but any actress can wear prosthetics, and any actor can grow his hair.

:spank:

[Lilith Velkor]

5. My answer

Strumpet of Doom, starring Rose McGowan as me and Ed Norton as whatshisname.

[truedelphi]

7. "Unintended Consequences" for the long title & "YIKES" for the short

An assemblage of all my near fatal traffic moments - some my fault, some the fault of others.

I've lived a long life, and it's been a lucky one.

[Lilith Velkor]

15. Who would play your car?

[truedelphi]

31. The physicality of the car - I'd use the actual car and model

But maybe the soul (and voice) of the car could be that of Stephen Wright, the comedian??

[Lilith Velkor]

35. Now that sounds interesting.

[Blue-Jay]

8. It would go straight to video.

[Lilith Velkor]

13. Well, yeah, so would mine.

Work with me, baby. No casting or title - can I at least get a soundtrack artist?

[Aristus]

9. "Finishing First" - The story of a nice guy who found true love with his dream woman.

I guess somebody like Jack Black or Paul Giamatti would play me.

My wife bears an uncanny resemblance to Mimi Rogers, so that's who I'd have play her.

Me and my wife:



And the cast:

[Lilith Velkor]

11. Aww that's so cute!

Yes, Paul Giamatti - or maybe Brendan Gleeson.

[AccessGranted]

10. Why Am I On The Wrong Planet?

The title would be Why Am I On The Wrong Planet?
Jennifer Hudson could play me and John Goodman as my significant other.

[Lilith Velkor]

34. That could apply to me as well

But I'm going with Strumpet of Doom.

[AccessGranted]

40. Strumpet Hehehe!

What's a strumpet?

[Lilith Velkor]

41. Oh damn

I can't remember what movie that's from. Shit! x(

[rebel with a cause]

12. they have already made a movie that would pass for one

about my marriage. It was "The War of the Roses" except I don't look like Kathleen Turner, my ex doesn't look like Michael Douglas, we were never rich, and we didn't kill each other.

[Lilith Velkor]

19. Mom? Is that you?

You're not usually up this late.

[dubeskin]

14. The Stalking, Bookburning, Communist Unicorn Princess Diaries

I'm not sure who would play me though. I literally sat here for five minutes trying to think of an actor who could, but I just can't. I guess a male actor who can pull off the hopeless romantic who trying to please everyone and put on this happy facade, but secretly is hurting inside because of his attraction for this one girl who everyone knows he can never be with. An actor who would be able to really convey the confusion in this boy's life.

And where I'm at right now in life, I'm both best friend-less and SO-less. So the main actor would need to be able to portray loneliness and seclusion well.

[Lilith Velkor]

16. Now that's a catchy title.

The obvious choice would be John Cusack, he always looks forlorn.

And you could have imaginary friends. They could be actors or CGI.

I don't mean to be flippant - I've been there. :hug:

[dubeskin]

18. Yeah. I've been thinking if I write memoirs I'd call them that.

And if we're going to throw in imaginary actors, let's make them really cool. Like orcs and aliens and stuff :)

[Lilith Velkor]

20. I could totally picture Angelina Jolie as an orc.

[sarge43]

24. Better yet, Sauron's SO. Born to the role. n/t

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

17. "I'm Upping Your Dose of Amitriptyline"

Bridget Fonda would play me. Kal Penn would play Mr. DTBK. Hilarity would ensue.

[SarahB]

22. Suburban Freak

Staring Lisa Welchel and Chuck Norris.

[GreenPartyVoter]

27. No one would go see it

[Lilith Velkor]

33. I would.

[zingaro]

28. It would be called "Slow Starter"

Carla Gugino would play me. There would be guest star slots for Ken Olin, Woody Harrelson, and a delicious co-starring role for Rachel Shelley.

:)

[Arugula Latte]

29. "The Cathair Vacuumer," with Julia Roberts in the starring role.

And Nick Cage as S.O.

[LanternWaste]

30. "...You Get What You Need"

Starring:

Me as a kid-- Michael J. Fox (when he was a kid)

Me as an adult-- Martin Mull. (I'm being honest-- too many people have told me too many times that I look like him. I'm not proud of it)

Since I'm currently without girlfriend/wife/mate, and my best bud looks just like Shakespeare, we'd have to find The Bard to play The Bud-- which would undoubtedly make the screen writers feel a bit emasculated.

The grips and gaffers-- I have know idea who they'd be; but I'd love to have my mom do the catering for the movie-- she makes a very tasty Yankee Chili.

[SteppingRazor]

32. A friend of mine already gave me the title of my autobiography:

"Depraved Indifference: The Life of a Whiskey-Schwilling Bad Boy"


As far as who would portray my wife and me, I guess we'd have to go with the two actors people always say we look like.

Me: Ron Livingstone

Her: That chick from Swimfan.

[BlueJazz]

36. Nuts

[Lilith Velkor]

37. Starring...?

[BlueJazz]

38. Maybe Steve Martin :)

[Redstone]

39. Title: "They tried to kill me, but I ain't dead yet." Portrayal: Sam Elliot, if he was

a foot and a half taller. Portraying Mrs R? I can't say.

Bad guys in the film who have been beaten like a rented mule (not in chronological order) would be: The NVA, a generally-fatal blood disease, MS, a blown aneurism, getting hit by cars three times while riding a bicycle, a recent and vicious staph infection, the things I did to collect those four concussions...

Redstone

[Lilith Velkor]

42. If they can shrink John Rhys-Davies for LOTR, they can stretch Sam Elliot for

that incredibly long title.

[Patiod]

45. Isn't Sam Elliott really tall?

Count me in for buying a ticket - I've seen everything Sam Elliott has been in - hell, I OWN a copy of the execrable film "Lifeguard", which is pure eye-candy

[Redstone]

46. Hell, no! He's about five-foot six. (I'm six-for.) But he has a MUCH better

mustache than I could ever grow.

Redstone

[Patiod]

48. Google is your friend, Redstone

He's number one on my "free pass list" - many, many years of sexual fantasies -- so I would think I would know he's more like 6'2". Google supports my fantasies.

Which means he could play you with no stretch, huh?


Hello from Plymouth Meeting, Redstone :hi: where it's a cool and lovely night, which I'm enjoying before heading out for work to Phoenix and Houston (what kind of client chooses Phoenix and Houston for June/July work?)

[Redstone]

49. Argh! I've LIVED in Houston in July! Same humidity as the botom of a swimming pool. But at

least, being in those two cities, you'll get yourself some damn good Tex-Mex chow. If you want honest recommendations for places, search on chowhound.com.

Redstone

[Patiod]

52. If only

Phoenix I have a friend I have to visit (I say "have to" because her husband is Romanian and there's a REASON that you don't see a plethora of Romanian restaurants all over). I will try to get in a visit to a Scottsdale favorite though (Cowboy Ciao)

Houston, I'm sort of stuck - no car, and nothing good in the immediate vicinity - so I end up eating at the (decent) Ommi hotel restaurant every night. Shouldn't complain - most people are not dining in style like that - but I'd actually PREFER Tex-Mex to fancier chow. Some nights I get the place I'm working to order Tex-Mex, and then bring it back and eat it in my room!

As for Chowhound - I'm a HUGE fan, and they have made my life bearable in many strange cities. I love how I can say "What's the name of the great Italian place near Union Square in a boutique hotel?" and get an answer right away.

[Initech]

43. My life is part Fight Club, part Big Lebowski, part Animal House.

[Connonym]

56. sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you

[Lilith Velkor]

58. My story is a lot like Fight Club

except that I'm Rose McGowan instead of Brad Pitt, and I actually exist.

[The Straight Story]

47. The Straight Story (directed by David Lynch I might add)

:)

[Lilith Velkor]

57. Can't believe I forgot the director!

*d'oh*

Mine would be Darren Aronofsky, soundtrack by Rammstein.

You can be my best boy, or gaffer if you're into that. :)

[struggle4progress]

50. Janitor of Lunacy

The entire movie would consist of (1) trailers for other movies, through which the story would be told indirectly, followed by (2) the credits. Neither I nor anyone I know would actually be mentioned in the movie, because we would all be too busy with other commitments

[Glorfindel]

51. Title, courtesy of Paul Simon: "He Was a Most Peculiar Man"

Starring Colin Hanks as me and Johnny Depp as my (imaginary) S.O. (one can dream, can't one?) and Dame Judy Dench as Mum. Directed by Peter Jackson; soundtrack by Howard Shore featuring Bob Dylan singing "Desolation Row" for the opening credits. Obviously, it would be a special-effects filled blockbuster. :evilgrin:

[fortyfeetunder]

53. "Don't Mess with Her"

the life of someone who refuses to give in to adversity.

Me: Whoopi Goldberg
SO: Dennis Haysbert

[crimsonblue]

54. hmmm

"Disappointment"

starring Clint Eastwood, William H Macy, Zooey Deschanel, Morgan Freeman, and Paul Newman.

[Schema Thing]

55. Most Fruitful Yuki's Mr. Badass

hmmm, Ed Norton Jr. for me.

Casting the SO would be tough, both because I want to interview several female leads that I can think of, and also because I don't have an SO right not, so I'd have to figure which ex to go with. Or follow your rules about a best friend, but that's no fun.


I'd probably settle on Bai Ling though, just because A) she's Asian, B) she's beautiful and exotic looking C) she kissed me once, on the cheek, and took a picture... with her camera, damkmit. and D) if her nipples are that amazing when she's not pregnant (see Playboy), just think how they'd look all knocked up for the movie (I'm insisting on extreme method acting for this role).

[WinkyDink]

59. "Missed Audition". Jeanine Garofalo.

[PassingFair]

60. "Disheveled: The PassingFair Story"

I would, of course, play myself.

My significant others would be played
by Russell Crowe in various disguises.