I Just fucked up

[khashka]

I switched my desktop from a pic of a pier going out to the sea (odd but tasteful, shades of grey) to one of Kurt Cobain - unshaven, hair straggly and just about to cry. Seeing it makes me wanna cry. Why did I do that? But I can't find where I stored the first pic so I can change it back. God, I'm an idiot. Maybe a little sleep and I can do it tomorrow.

Khash.

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Oh khash...

:hug:

I tried to change my desktop to a picture of my husband...but it haunted me. It's funny how (or maybe it's just me) you can almost see the future in the eyes of a lost loved one. Even though you never noticed it before.

[khashka]

2. Yeah sometimes you can just see it

I held my lover in my arms while he died. I agreed with him killing himself (terminally ill, great pain, no hope). I just did not want him to be alone! But there are pictures of him I can't look at cuz I can see it in his eyes and it brings all the pain back. But I agreed with him and I was with him and maybe it'll never stop hurting - but maybe it shouldn't. Love doesn't stop, or it isn't love.

You know what I mean, sadly, having lost your husband. You know love doesn't end, even when they're gone.


Khash.

[DarkTirade]

3. I just recently changed mine to this.