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I Wanna be a PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_____________catowners, got a blacklight?

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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-07-03 01:27 PM
Original message
I Wanna be a PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_____________catowners, got a blacklight?
I envy the pig! Read on, youll understand

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body

to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out? It was a hippie with a cat. Hey man, whatre all these funky looking spots on the carpet? Whoa, that reeks! Man, I shouldve cleaned the cat box more often. )


An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)


Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?

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commander bunnypants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-07-03 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
1. Pretty funny
Always remember Quality over Quanity


DEMMAN

A 30 min orgasm!!!!!!!!!
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-07-03 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
2. Heh...this is one old e-mail!
I always wondered about the 30 minute orgasm...how the hell did they measure THAT?! :scared:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-07-03 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Probably with a watch
Are their starfish in your family?

Just kidding. I just got the e-mail, our system is a bit slow.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-07-03 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. Define orgasm
I'm still having aftershocks and have trouble thinking straight and talking in sentences after 30 minutes. Does that count?
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On the Road Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-07-03 01:40 PM
Response to Original message
5. Actually, I Had a 45-Minute Orgasm Once

and only once. Seriously. The sensation mellowed out a little but just didn't stop. It went on and on and on and on. I wish I had some clue as to how to replicate it.
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