Should I go hang out with some Quakers?

[otherlander]

Ok, not really sure how to start this thread. I haven't been inside a church in years except for a couple of funerals. The last time I actually went to a church like people apparently do on Sundays was about 6 years ago with a friend whose house I had stayed at overnight. It was a really big church and no one even noticed I was there or I was new or anything. Someone said hi to my friend and when she left I asked my friend "Who was that?" and she answered, "I have no idea, I've never seen her before." So it was a big giant church where half the people didn't even know each other's names and as a stranger I didn't stick out at all. And I'm getting the idea that a Quaker church wouldn't be anything like that at all; it would be more of a community thing and everyone would notice a new person. Which might be kind of awkward.

The thing is, I'm an atheist. I didn't really choose to be one; I'd much rather believe in reincarnation, but this is just my perception of reality. I'm not really interested in religious stuff, but I've heard that Quakers are pretty liberal/ open-minded. Is this generally true? And they do cool stuff, right? Didn't they help draft resisters during the Vietnam War? It's not the religious stuff that gave me the idea to go to one of the meetings, it's the idea that if I got involved with them I could actually do something useful for once. I don't know if I'd really fit in, though. I'd be glad for any feedback from DUers who know more about this than I do.

BTW, I'm going out to dinner now, so I'll be back in an hour or so to answer any replies.

[derby378]

1. Just remember that Quakers are, by definition, theists

I'm a Quaker, myself - maybe not the world's most shining example of one, but I believe in the ideals of peace and simplicity. If I sound like a gun nut on DU, however, it's because I am also convinced that true peace is impossible without the presence of human freedom and human dignity. We are all the same skull beneath the skin, equally infused with that "spark" that Quakers refer to as "that of God in every man." So I also tend to be very egalitarian, almost to a fault.

[avasmom]

28. not necessarily

i've not found that to be true... many of those who are members/attend quaker groups are not theist. it depends on whether one views the "spark" as an outside "entity" or whether it is from within.

that we are all connected by and a part of energy is no longer a matter of religion- its a matter of science.

i do agree with your description of quakers, but just wanted to elaborate on my experience of quakers as "not-necessarily-theist."

[orleans]

2. i don't know. would it be on a "quaker" basis (this hanging out) or

is it a party of sorts.
if it's something to work on about the war then yes.
if not, then no.

or i should say--that's what i'd do.

[China_cat]

3. Go to meeting and find out.

I'm an atheist. I also belong to our local meeting. Nobody's ever given me grief for it and yes, it's a wonderful way to be able to be a social activist. If you find a non-programmed (silent) meeting, you won't even have to listen to a lot of preaching. Some members may speak "as they are led" but I've never heard it turn into a sermon.

[hippywife]

4. The Quakers I know and have known,

are very peace-loving people, one has protested the war with us and he's also gay. Another is an attorney who assists conscientious objectors. Both are very liberal and neither would dream of even owning a gun. The second one would not defend himself or anyone else with violence if attacked, that's how strongly he holds his beliefs. But I think as rule, while they do hold very wonderful ideals regarding working for world peace and justice, such as the American Friends Service Committee, I think you will probably find that most will not be "liberal" on many other issues. At least one other that I knew was a Republican. Hell, even Nixon came from Quaker stock but didn't seem to practice.

But at the same time, they are generally gentle and accepting, and very forgiving. That's been my experience, anyway. That's been a total of four that I've known. Not a large sampling, I know.

[otherlander]

16. Ok, thanks for the info.

The AFSC website has a page about GLBT rights... :shrug:

[hippywife]

22. Like I said...

I've only known four people that I knew to be Quaker. Like any other religion, I'm guessing that there will be differences within them. The mistake I think that we make many times is to pinhole someone based on one single thing about them and assume that because of that one thing, we will either be in agreement or disagreement with everything else about them. Or because one group within a religion practices one way, that the whole body of believers practices that way. Does that make sense?

[Drum]

5. In brief: yes.

They---Quakers, Society of Friends---impress me as a faith/practice which meshes with some of my beliefs.

Whichever you choose, peace to you. :hi:

[Inchworm]

6. I would do it

If for no other reason than to eavesdrop on the culture.

I don't see a downside to it at all.

:hi:

[mitchum]

7. Yes. But. Don't. Say. Anything. About. Oatmeal.

they don't have anything to do with that

[Critters2]

8. I say yes!! I've had great experiences with Quakers!

You're almost certainly interested in the Religious Society of Friends--the folks who have unprogrammed or silent meetings. If you're looking for social progressives, you'll want to avoid "Church Quakers", or Evangelical Quakers with programmed meetings (more like typical Christian worship services).

Once you've found an RSOF meeting, I'd caution you on just one thing--silent meetings can be a challenge at first. As a culture, we're not good at having an hour to do nothing but sit in silence, and this is what a meeting for worship is. A few people (I've never seen more than two in one meeting) may stand to speak as they feel led. But often times you'll spend the whole meeting in silent meditation. I think this is a great thing, and I practice silent meditation (called centering prayer in my tradition). I'm just saying it takes some getting used to. Quakers know this, and will often offer you help in beginning your practice.

AS for your being an atheist, this is the real beauty of the silent meeting. You don't have to make any kind of statement at all. You don't have to speak. So no one will know what you do or do not believe. It won't matter anyway, you'll be welcome. And if anyone stands and offers a witness, you don't have to agree or disagree. It is polite to give some consideration (silently) to any witnesses offered, but you don't have to respond. In fact, it would be REALLY bad form to do so.

And based on my experience, go the one Sunday a month they have a potluck meal (many meetings do this). When I worked in restorative justice programming, my practice was to worship with any group that asked me to give a presentation on a sabbath. The Quakers were among our strongest supporters, and would often ask me to speak at their monthly potluck meal following meeting for worship. I really enjoyed this. Great fellowship, and great food (much of veg*n, which was a plus for me!).

I really respect the Quakers, and would encourage you to visit. The Quaker meetings I know prefer it if visitors arrive about 15 minutes before meeting for worship, so that you can be oriented to what you'll experience in your first meeting (help with your first hour of silent waiting).

I think it's a great idea! Let us know what you decide!

[DarkTirade]

10. Addendum... not all programmed meetings are the evangelical ones.

[Critters2]

11. Sorry. Should've been clearer about that. nt

[Lydia Leftcoast]

13. I was told that there are more evangelical Quakers on the West Coast

than on the East Coast.

However, I encountered both kinds in Oregon.

The evangelical Quakers have a college called George Fox College. You'd think it was a typical evangelical Bible college, judging from their campus rules, except that they're pacifists.

[quakerboy]

20. Meh

Fox is owned by Quakers, but in all reality not run by or as a Quaker school. Quakers make up, depending on the year, perhaps 10% of the student body. The rest is drawn from general Evangelical churches, and it leads to a lot of internal issues.

[otherlander]

14. Ok, the one near me is RSOF

The Sunday meetings start at 11. So show up at 10:45, sit down, look at the person who's talking but don't say anything? I don't think I'll go tomorrow; maybe I'll go a week from tomorrow. What do people wear? My shoes consist of 2 pairs of hightops, 1 pair of hiking boots, 1 pair of hiking sandals, and 1 pair of fancy sandals.

[quakerboy]

21. I wear sandals and shorts

same as I wear to anything else.

[Critters2]

25. First time I went, I wore a wollen skirt suit, and I was completely over-dressed.

The next time, I wore a nice blouse and pants, and sandals. I would've worn blue jeans and been more in keeping with others there, but I was making a presentation at the pot luck, so wanted to look professional.

[quakerboy]

18. Even our evangelical branch

tends strongly toward the socialy progressive, in my experience. Excepting a few (often more rural churches with aged populations), even our more "church like" meetings do a lot of work toward social justice issues. And even those mostly try, in their way.

[DarkTirade]

9. I'm an athiest/agnostic/pagan (it works, honest) and I've been going to a Quaker church lately.

Nice people. They try to stay informed on what's going on in the world, and do what they can to help. I'm only going because I have family that go there, but I enjoy it anyway. :)

[otherlander]

12. Thanks for all the replies

I haven't really made up my mind yet but I'll let you know when I do.
:hi:

[undeterred]

15. You cannot generalize about Quakers

They argue about issues at conferences as much as anyone else (anyone can be a pacifist when they stop talking!) I started going to Quaker meetings in 2005 because of the commitment to pacifism and the inclusiveness. I have been a Christian for years and I evolved toward believing that those are the two most important things. But my beliefs are much more specific than most Quakers- some are Buddhists, and some are atheists. Some are veterans of the Vietnam war, still coming to terms with the fact that they killed innocent people.

There are conservative and liberal meetings. Make sure you are going to a liberal meeting and call up and talk to someone first. It will all seem a little strange at first, but its not that hard to get used to. It does attract a lot of people with similar personalities who are very reflective, so I guess thats good. If you just slip in the back door and don't stay around and talk you wont feel involved- like anything else, you have to get to know people.

I once heard Quaker meeting described as a support group for activists. Thats when I knew I was home. Everyone is involved in something. Mostly not as electorally political as me, but people really do care about the world around them and they care about people.

There are two Quaker doctors I know who have been at the forefront of the prochoice movement for decades.

[quakerboy]

19. One thing I have noticed

there is a healthy dose of do it yourself activism in us Quakers. When I was younger, I felt unworthy to take up the time of so many people involved in such important things. Not that anyone put that on me, but growing up among it, I created very high expectations of myself.

[undeterred]

24. You just pegged me exactly

except that I didn't grow up among it. I just decided to become an activist and suddenly I'm asking a US senator to speak at my event.

[quakerboy]

34. Yup. I remember

getting Kucinich to come speak at my university, last time around. It was hectic, but worthwhile.

[avasmom]

29. agreed.

this "do it yourself" activism has filtered down to my kids, as well. quakers do believe they can make a difference.

[quakerboy]

17. We don't bite

You can find quakers of all stripes. It depends on where you are and where you go.

There are evangelical Quakers. There are basicly atheist quakers. And everywhere in the spectrum between. Even our Evangelical branch tends strongly toward the socialy liberal.

We are good people, in general. We do still have a very active peace ministry through most of our meetings. It tends to be a pretty do it yourself kinda deal though. Meet people, network with them, and find the ones who share your particular passions.

[Mezzo]

23. I'm descended from the Quakers...so I say it's a good idea. nt

[avasmom]

26. i am a quaker

so i think quakers are cool.. they don't give a damn what religion you are (are aren't- athiests fit right in). quakers are the only church that actually follows the teachings of christ (turn the other cheek, peace, love your enemies) and many people who are members do not believe in the actual divinity of christ (i do, however), only that his teachings are profound.

the best part is that they are honestly a group of caring individuals, good folk. you can't go wrong by hanging out with quakers...


(EDITED TO ADD) i am wrong to say "the only church"- should have said "one of the few churches"... so many so-called christians do not live by the teachings of christ, i'm proud to belong to a church that does.. would never offend the other pacifist churches.

[Critters2]

27. I think members of other churches would take issue with this statement:

"Quakers are the only church that actually follows the teachings of christ (turn the other cheek, peace, love your enemies)"

The reason I can't be a Quaker is that they don't baptize or celebrate communion, which I believe Christ told (asked?) us to do. Communion is hugely important to me.

If you mean that they are pacifists, they're not even the only pacifist church. Mennonites and Brethren are, too. I wish my church were officially pacifist, but it gives me opportunities to sharpen my gadfly skills!

[avasmom]

30. EGAD. you are right.

i've been to universalist, unitarian, churches, and have many friends who are members of other groups that i know would be offended by my statement. it was made on the fly without giving it enough thought. i should know better.

i would change it, but to change it would be self-serving. everybody makes mistakes, and i am the first to admit mine.

i apologize to anyone who is offended by my stupid statement.

-t-

p.s. (did edit to add an apology)

[Critters2]

33. I belong to the Disciples Peace Fellowship, which is the oldest peace org

of any church that isn't fully pacifist. The DPF does great work and challenges other Christians to take seriously the teachings of Christ. My own denomination, the UCC, is pretty good on justice issues, too. Not perfect, but pretty good.

And yeah, I knew you knew better. :hi:

[IntravenousDemilo]

31. Sure, they just want to be Friends, maybe sow some (wild) oats...

Just make sure none of them is like Nixon.

[Critters2]

32. I've always thought Hoover's Quaker background was both his greatest gift,

and his greatest weakness, politically. It was his Quaker faith that made him take on huge tasks like the Belgian relief program after WWI, and flood relief in 1927 and see those projects through against great odds.

But he also trusted human nature too much to think speculation and greed would do the harm it did in 1929. And he was naive about how well people were able to come to one another's aid after the crash.

I have no explanation for Nixon, though!

[existentialist]

35. Nixon

was excommunicated.