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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:01 PM
Original message
Precious, little, oh-so-prissy food.
"Made to Order" on Food Network right now. Indescribably pretty little dishes, each with dots or swirls of some kind of precious little liquid for decoration, the whole dish taking up about one-sixteenth of the plate.

Spare me.

Just gimme a burger, would you?

Redstone
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
1. What I hate is when they artfully dribble the sauce on the plate
next to or around the food the sauce is supposed to be on, just so you can admire the artful dribble.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:04 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Put the gravy ON the damn food, would you?
Redstone
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darkstar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. Just not one outta a farggin' can
right?
:hi:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Yeah. That thing looked like a slice of canned cranberry sauce, only brown, didn't it?
It even seemed to have the "rings" that you see in the cranberry sauce at the bottom-of-the-can end.

Truly revolting.

Redstone
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
5. *sniff* I shan't eat it if it doesn't fit on my fingernail.
Is "Belugan" the singular of "Beluga"? I'll have a caviar egg on a toast point point, please.

;-)
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Sugie, you would NOT have believed the prissy descriptions of those dishes. I tried
to pull some of them off the food network website, but couldn't find them. It was to die for (die laughing, that is).

It was like "confit of someobscureingredient with a fennel-blaghered rissole of someotherobscureingredient with a drizzle of Provencale margaba essence tromped by Ligurian virgins topped with essence of truffled blacharacha in a veal rembelblachen reduced with frenchsoundingword oil from the district of Snottayword in the Ibetyouhaven'theardofitancyian region."

Redstone
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Lookahere, cousin- you made me spray tea. You are posifreakingtively BRILLIANT.
Look, can you please post that on the next "what's for dinner" thread?????? You are much too good at laying out what you see. :rofl:

"with a fennel-blaghered rissole of someotherobscureingredient"

"margaba essence tromped by Ligurian virgins"

"frenchsoundingword oil from the district of Snottayword"



:rofl: I confess I'm a little in awe of you right now. :wow:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. Thanks, Cuz, you made me laugh, too. Glad I could give you a bit of a chuckle, and
I think I WILL go ahead and post that in a "What's for dinner" thread.

But not tonight; I'll save it for when I can get in early on one of those threads.

How's every little thing going for you these days? We need to talk again in another week or two.

Redstone
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Sugar Smack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. To both I say, "YEAH!"
Post that thang, and I would dearly love to talk with you and catch up in a week or two. I have your number; it's written in my copy of Stephen King's "Thinner", the book I was reading at the hospital during my appendix thingie. :loveya:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Check your PM tomorrow. I'm making a big push for new business, and will need help.
Redstone
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #7
31. Well done Sir!
LOL!
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #7
65. OMG hilarious!
It's like a cross between an ohsoponcy yuppie-chow description and Vogon poetry.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
6. LOL Was looking for recipes for what one does with spaetzle just a bit ago
Havocdad bought some in a box at import store in town (he lived in Europe for several years and gets hungry for foods I am not familiar with)

Decided he would be happy if I made chicken or meatballs with some sort of sour cream gravy on this spaetzle stuff.... I shall remember NOT to drizzle a bit of gravy near the food... will POUR IT ON!

Thanks for the insight LOL
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. Meatballs & spaetzle with sour-cream gravy? I'll be right over. Oh, yes.
Redstone
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TommyO Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #6
33. Spaetzle with swedish meatballs - YUMMY!
German, Swedish, and sour cream! Three of the four essential food groups.
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:25 PM
Response to Original message
9. Real Men eat SPAM



Nothing like canned, steam rendered, various and sundry porcine pieces parts and indescribable gelatinous goo, all in one savory tin.

Hack open a can of SPAM with a big knife and eat it with your hands just to watch the "Elf food" people faint.




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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Knife? Hands? Hell, no, we real men BITE the can open, then bite chunks off
the block o' SPAM.

Redstone
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:41 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. It's been the subject of a nutritional study, and it was found to be
One of the very best things that one could possibly eat.

The can, that is. Very nutritious, lots of minerals, very low fat.




The contents of a can of SPAM, however, can be used as an IED if handled incorrectly, and is not recommended for human consumption, unless you want to substitute the forced eating of SPAM as an interrogation technique instead of waterboarding.

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Dammit, this talk has made me hungry. I'm going to go make myself a SPAMwich
right now. Fried SPAM, melted cheddar, tomatoes, and mustard. On rye bread.

Hot damn. Haven't had one of those in a long time.

Redstone
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. now I'm hungry for spam...
...but I like mine cold and thinly sliced on good nutty wheat bread with butter and iceberg lettuce on one side and yellow mustard on the other side. Mmmmm. No spam in the house, and I can't eat that much bread because it's like 36 grams of carb.
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 01:09 AM
Response to Reply #15
18. If you really want to do it right.
Make a little flour and water batter, dip the Spam, fry it up and have some delicious Spam fritters. Shortly before you have a major Spam coronary.
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GoneOffShore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #9
61. Nahhh, real men eat Scrapple!
Pictures at 11!
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BreweryYardRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
19. Eesh, those dishes. They're why I refuse to attend fancy restaurants.
I see no reason to waste a lot of money on some dinky-ass concoction which might possibly be a normal-sized meal...for a housecat.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:52 AM
Response to Reply #19
22. A house cat wouldn't eat it. Too many weird vegetables.
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:44 AM
Response to Original message
20. You hate that stuff, too?
I thought I was the only one. :rofl:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:50 AM
Response to Original message
21. eh
I can go either way, but do prefer a big bowl of curry or a fish and chips with a giant slab of fish on a bed of fries. nummy
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:56 AM
Response to Original message
23. I like prissy food. It's pretty.
I'm just not willing to pay a lot of money for it.
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Runcible Spoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #23
32. eggzactly. food like that is awesome...
when bought FOR you by a relative you see once or twice a year and don't particularly like. Yes I'll have the Alsatian Muscat too, thanks :evilgrin:
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coffeenap Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
24. Ah, Redstone, you always make me smile.
:hi:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Long time, no chat! Hope all is well with you these days.
Redstone
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
26. This is the difference between the way CMW cooks and the way I cook.
He's the far superior cook: His stuff tastes better, looks gorgeous and more care goes into its preparation.

I am more experimental, better able to whip up something on the spur of the moment, and I cook quickily for a whole bunch of people or a special occasion.

We're both pretty good about cleaning up the kitchen. :hi:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. That's why I've gained 30 pounds since meeting Mrs R: She has the unique ability
to make things that NEVER let you go away hungry, and look attractive at the same time.

It's amazing: She can make better Italian food than Italians can, better Mexican food than Mexicans can, and so on.

Redstone
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MrsMatt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
27. I confess, I LOVE precious prissy food.
I enjoy it as an art form. It appeals to my inner snobbish self.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
29. A menu from a little restaurant in my area:
http://www.cornertablerestaurant.com/menu.htm

I've eaten there a couple of times, and the food actually tasted pretty good, but it's expensive, a bit elfin, and there's some of it that I have no idea what it is. And they have that annoying habit of dribbling the sauces artfully instead of just putting them on the damn food.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. And God, that's another thing that's really pretentious:
Edited on Sun Mar-09-08 06:43 PM by Redstone
Listing the prices like this:

12

Even worse is when they list the ingredients in words all in a row, like commas cost something, and in all lowercase:

confit du rissole des blanc roti
lardoons beetpeel bark shavings gelee
sel de morton poivre au vin ordinaire
reduced reduction con brio piccante
pain au beurre legume
57

I won't eat at one of those places.

Redstone
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #30
41. what's wrong with the price without decimals?
:shrug:
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #41
44. Just because it's pretentious and trendy. Like all-lowercase type is.
Redstone
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #44
45. Then you'd hate the place I go to some time
Not as much as I used to, I'm feeling the pinch of everything else costing more

http://www.aquatini.com/aquatini_dinner.php

The only thing missing on the web version is the prices under each option, like 10 or 14

:D
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #45
48. Ah, but at least they use "with," commas, and "and." They gain back points for that.
Redstone
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GoneOffShore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #45
51. Nice menu
that's some pretty decent food -
Have you tried the Cassoulet?

I'm a great fan of anything with duck confit and pork.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. No, I haven't
but I know I should
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #30
50. "lardoons beetpeel bark shavings gelee"!
:rofl: I'll have to ask them to make me some of that.

If you're ever in Minneapolis, I'll take you there, and we can mock the menu. Better yet, we'll stand in the doorway and mock the menu, and then we'll go to this great Chinese place.

To be fair, the waitresses are really nice and not pretentious at all. But OMG, the menu...
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #29
46. It looks like a great menu to me
:shrug:
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #46
49. The food itself is quite good. But the menu is so... like Redstone said,
hilariously.
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Runcible Spoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:07 PM
Response to Reply #29
55. I see nothing pretentious about that menu
and looking at the ingredients the prices really aren't that bad either :shrug:

It gets bad when they start anthropomorphizing the food and make it seem like the cooking process was some sort of magical alchemical wonder.
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democracyindanger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
34. Here's your burger
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:03 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. Good Lord, no! AAAAGH!!
I meant a burger as God intended it: Beef. Cheese. Onions, tomatoes, lettuce. Condiments. Bread, both on bottom and top.

THAT's not a burger, it's an abomination. Get thee behind me, Asparagus!

Redstone
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democracyindanger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:07 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. My bad. Here.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:09 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. Better, but what the hell are those black things? Engine-oil-sludge chips?
...Not that I'd mind a helping of those, as long as they were deep-fried and had lots of salt.

Redstone
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youthere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #36
58. What the hell is that black goo by the burger?
It looks like something I found on the patio after the dog ate a roof shingle.
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GoneOffShore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #58
60. Truffles
The non chocolate kind.

Not so good this year. Maybe next.
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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:09 PM
Response to Reply #34
38. Asparagus on a Burger?
Edited on Sun Mar-09-08 08:18 PM by ALiberalSailor
:wtf: kind of hippy crap is that? I guess sprouts would be, like, $5.00 more.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:17 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. Yeah, they'd charge that, even though the Asparaburger is probably $95.00.
What with all that Foy Grass stuff in it, and all.

Redstone
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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #39
40. Jesus H. Christ in a Chicken Basket...
...is nothing sacred?
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:20 PM
Response to Reply #40
42. Afraid not. I suppose we're just going to have to get used to it.
Redstone
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
43. I like food. I like prissy food, and big burgers and everything in between.
I can't think of a style of food I don't like.
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nam78_two Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #43
53.  "I can't think of a style of food I don't like."
Edited on Sun Mar-09-08 11:09 PM by nam78_two
Are you sure about that ;)?

http://www.semihomemade.com /



Since you seem to like food, I will assume you watch the Food Network and know what I am talking about :7 ....
Nobody imo is ready for that..errr..style of food. I once saw that woman mix equal parts of butternut squash soup and ketchup, microwave that and call it a hearty winter stew or something :puke:...
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:00 PM
Response to Reply #53
54. I don't consider "semihomemade" a...style.
:-)

The one thing I really don't like is processed crap, or anything made with it, but I don't consider it a style.

I agree: barf!
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siligut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #53
64. Sandra Lee had a tough childhood.
I want to like her, but that food is just crap, and then to dress to match your skillet? Save me.
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YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
47. Those little portions are the biggest scams going.
Skip and I keep talking about opening up a restaurant like that, only with regular food. Like say you want spaghetti. You'll get 3 spaghetti noodles, a bit of meat, a small tomato and we'll serve it with a crouton. And then we'll charge 50 bucks for it.
But the appetizers would be normal size.
Duckie
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JI7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #47
56. how about the lettuce wedge salad
charge 10+ for it.
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NuttyFluffers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 05:15 AM
Response to Original message
57. the small sizes are so you can have 2 or more entrees without being uncomfortable
because you gotta save room for an appetizer, salad, 2 entrees, dessert, and a glass of alcohol for each. i mean, what's the point of pouring it all on your plate when you have 6 or more courses to sit through? in the end you end up eating just the right amount without getting indigestion, so you can enjoy the rest of the evening!

i mean, why shoot for 1 pile of adequate tastiness, when you can divide that same pile into many little piles of exquisite deliciousness?

but then i guess that's where the american phenomenon of our beloved buffets come into play...

why have 1 pile of adequate tastiness, when you can have 4 piles of marginally palatable fodder?!

mmmm, marginally palatable fodder. :)
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mondo joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #57
62. Mmmmm. Small plates are good. Often now when we eat out we make a dinner
out of several apps so we can get more yummy tastes out of one meal.
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RubyDuby in GA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
59. I hear ya. I wanna go with Guy on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives
That looks like some damn good food!

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Manifestor_of_Light Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 02:01 PM
Response to Original message
63. I had a meal like that once. Gave me a bad stomach ache.
And my companion had to get home for a bathroom emergency.

This was served by the students at the Art Institute (the large rip-off proprietary school that advertises heavily all over the country).

They mixed up weird flavors for the helluvit. Like fruit salad with licorice liqueur poured over it (yuck). I had to send the tiny bit of steak back to get it cooked properly. I could drink the iced tea and eat the roll.

Everything else was gawdawful, and I was still hungry. I am not a heavy eater.

It was like Moe at Moe's Bar on the Simpsons says:
"PoMo. (Postmodern). Weird for da sake of weird".

:puke:
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PeaceNikki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-11-08 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
66. To a chef, food presentation is an art.
It's not pretentious or "prissy" for a chef to take great care in his or her work.

And it's a shame if you can't appreciate that.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-11-08 06:27 PM
Response to Reply #66
67. I'm all in favor of nicely-presented food.
I just wish they wouldn't hide the weensy little entree under a single (tenderly poached in lingonberry puree) mushroom, and that they wouldn't do swirly designs on the plate with the sauces. It just makes a mess.
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