So I'm filling up my car with gas in Venice, CA today...

[Kutjara]

...and this guy rolls up in a house-sized SUV and stops at the other side of the pump from me. As he's removing the nozzle, he looks over and says "Heh, heh. Guess we can thank Hugo Chavez for this shit, huh?" I was preoccupied so I didn't immediately get what he was saying. "Sorry, what?" I replied. "The price of gas. Guess we can thank Hugo Chavez for driving the price of gas through the roof," he clarified. I was stunned by this overt example of neocon thickheadedness, so it took me a second before I said, "I'm saving my thanks for the Chimpanzee people like you put in the White House. Twice. If you want to know why oil prices are through the roof and the economy's in the toilet, look no further than the criminals in DC and the boardroom of ExxonMobil." "Bullshit," he responded, "it's the goddamn commies who're trying to destroy America, same as always." I was about to drive away by this point, so I said, "they don't need to waste their energy. We're doing a great job of that all on our own. Enjoy your $100 tank!"

Honestly, how can someone like this pass the border checks and get into Venice? I thought there were rules.

[Oeditpus Rex]

1. They're sapping and impurifying

all of our precious vehicular fluids.

[Kutjara]

2. That has to be it.

It tickles me that it's always the most macho, gung-ho, something-to-prove guys who are the most afraid of tiny little developing nations like Cuba or Venezuela (or Iraq). I guess the big truck and he-man swagger can only hide so much of a mile-wide yellow streak.

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. Oh, man!

Did you just give me an idea for SUV bumper-sticker terrism!



Only it wouldn't be a bumper sticker. It'd be more like contact paper — a whole roll.



Yellow.

[Kutjara]

4. Perfect!

Gives a whole new meaning to the "support the troops" yellow ribbon, too.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Yeah, if they *really* supported the troops

they'd have BIG ribbons.



From the front bumper to the rear bumper.

[kath]

5. "precious vehicular fluids" - BWAH!

misread that the first time I read your post.

[GoneOffShore]

41. Mysto -

Just watched that movie tonight.

wooooooo

[theredpen]

6. At a gas station in Houston, TX, in mid-2003...

...my friend was filling up his car. Suddenly, a redneck dumbshit straight out of central casting (skinny, mullet, giant belt buckle, ugly cowboy boots) pops around from the other side of the pumps. He sneers, "Yew have a lahtta nerve drivin' a French car in these here parts."

My friend stared at him a moment, and said, "Saabs are from Sweden." The guy turned on his boot heel and stomped off.

[Kutjara]

9. LOL! That's great!

I'm surprised the dumbshit knew what Sweden was. Probably thought it was something you put in coffee.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. Oh my word. Way to tell him!

[Kutjara]

10. Honestly, I usually leave people in peace with their ignorance,...

...but this clown just put his head right into the noose.

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. He did. If they bring it up they deserve what they get

[theredpen]

14. Still, kudos for thinking on your feet

A lot of times, I'm at a lose for words when I encounter something that stupid.

[Taverner]

11. Some people need to get out of the gene pool

[Kutjara]

13. I really can't believe this guy is the product of natural selection.

Must be some sort of Idiotic Design.

[theredpen]

15. Another tale of Houston turnabout

Same friend as the Saab story from above.

Whenever my friend is waiting line with another friend somewhere in Houston, he'll start a really load conversation, "So, can you believe people voted for Bush twice? I mean, how stupid are these people? He lied us into a war and then he couldn't even run it successfully, he's screwed up the economy and he's made our country the joke of the world."

Invariably, some wingnut will chime in with a counterpoint and he'll cut them off with, "Excuse me, but this is a private conversation!"

Works every time.

[Kutjara]

16. I'd love to do that. Unfortunately, my survival instincts...

...would be screaming at full volume, particularly in a place with such ready access to handguns.

[theredpen]

17. Fair enough...

But don't forget that the ready access to handguns thing works both ways.

Also, when you're waiting in line at the bank, it would be a great victory to get the wingnut to draw a weapon. The wingnut would... end badly.

[Kutjara]

20. Good point.

And it would be something to see one of them hoisted by their own Second Amendment-shaped petard.

[SeattleGirl]

18. Whoa!

Total repuke there! "It's the goddamn commies...."?????

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. They stole our generator, too

We're down to a lousy backup generator, and we had to swipe that from a MASH.

[SeattleGirl]

42. ...........

[Oeditpus Rex]

43. Can't help it

Every time I hear "Lousy commies!" or somethin' like it, I think of that bit.

[Haole Girl]

19. That's disgusting...what a pig... a pig in denial!

I think people sense not to say anything to me at a gas station... I think they see the scowl on my face and know they better not dare! grr...

[Kutjara]

22. I thought I'd be safe in Venice, of all places.

It's wall to wall Priuses (Prii?) with "War is not the answer" stickers and organic muesli cafes full of trendy hipsters. When this throwback from the 50s suddenly appeared, it was like someone had just started up a black and white movie.

[Haole Girl]

24. Welcome to my world

Can you imagine one of those on every corner?

If you can, then you have just imagined my neighborhood.

On that note, I'm going to call it a night... go to bed.. and try not to have nightmares.

[Kutjara]

28. I think I'd take up spree killing if I was faced with that every day.

Of course, living in Orange County, I'm sure 90% of the people I see on the street are as bad or worse. I just don't spend much time associating with the locals, so they don't get the chance to annoy me.

Night night. Sleep well!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

21. My dear Kutjara!

What a great story!

I think I would have pointed out that filling his monster vehicle was causing gas prices to jump...

Still, your snappy come-back was outstanding!

I don't think that well on my feet...

[Kutjara]

25. I normally don't either, Peggy,...

...but this buffoon caught me at an inspired moment. Normally, I'd probably just smile noncommittally and carry on with what I was doing. Or have what the French call a 'pensee d'escalier' (staircase thought), which derives from the way old Parisian homes were arranged with the reception room on the second floor. People who had been the victim of a cutting comment, and then thought of the perfect retort as they were on the stairs down to the street, had one of these.

[cbayer]

26. There are no rules in venice (nipple pic)

[Kutjara]

31. That certainly explains it.

I did hope that the "freaky field" in the area would make people like that spontaneously implode, though.

[Redstone]

27. Do you really talk like that?

"I'm saving my thanks for the Chimpanzee people like you put in the White House. Twice. If you want to know why oil prices are through the roof and the economy's in the toilet, look no further than the criminals in DC and the boardroom of ExxonMobil."

Just curious, because I've never heard anyone talk like that before, I mean actually talking, not writing.

Redstone

[Kutjara]

29. Product of an English public school education.

Not only do I talk like that, but I sound like Prince Charles' butler when I do. Seems to piss the freepers off even more, for some reason.

[cbayer]

33. Yeah, they talk like that in Venice/

Have you ever been there?

[Midlodemocrat]

34. Honestly, it sounds like something I would say.

And, I'm not British.

My mind, fortunately, goes a lot faster than my mouth.

[DeadEyeDyck]

30. Ain't ya'all still driving Gondolas in Venice.

Or maybe that's in Venus. I get so confused.

[Kutjara]

32. Got to be the most misnamed place ever.

The eccentric who built it wanted to create a replica of the real Venice here on the West Coast. Then he ran out of money after building about two canals. Needless to say, the only similarities between the two places are the name and the profusion of coffee bars.

[DeadEyeDyck]

35. I was just trying to be silly

didn't know there was actually a link to Italy. Thanks for the tid-bit.

[Kutjara]

36. It's a great story. Google it if you're interested.

It's full of drama, big dreams, eccentricity and glorious failure.

[Adsos Letter]

37. The Commies?!...still???!!!

I thought that ended when the wall came down...I haven't heard anyone bring up "Commies" in years...'course, I live in California (as do you, I notice)...I thought we were all Nihilists here...

[Kutjara]

38. Isn't it fabulous?

Like getting whisked back into the 50s by mental time machine. I couldn't have been more surprised if he'd started talking about "coloreds" and "dames."

[Adsos Letter]

39. That really does blow my mind...

I was in an Armored Cav unit (3/2 ACR) that patrolled a portion of the old Iron Curtain back in the early 1970's, and it was all about the Commies over there, but...that was almost 40 years ago...

I guess there is still Korea...but who ever thinks in those terms in this day and age?

It also surprises me how many people don't understand the difference between Socialism and Communism...and their variants...

ah, well...aren't you glad you don't have to live in his world?

[Kutjara]

40. And he was only about 35.

It seems Chavez has stirred up a lot of old feelings on the right, so they've resurrected the old lingo to express them.

I've given up trying to explain communism vs socialism vs anarchism to cretins. There aren't enough migraine pills in the world for that hopeless job.