I'm thinking of doing something that I said I'd never do

[Droopy]

I've been happy for the most part of my adult life being single. But lately I've been growing more receptive to the idea of being in a relationship. I'm 35 now and the prospect of growing older and being alone isn't sitting well with me. It seems like having someone to come home to would greatly enrich my life.

There are several examples in my life of couples who are happy together. Lately, every time I meet with them I find myself wanting what they have. So I've been looking into match making services. The one I'm contemplating right now is a local organization. They specialize in people who are only wanting a serious relationship. They are much more thorough and selective than an ordinary dating web site. I would have to go in for an interview and agree to a background check. They will not accept convicted felons. I don't know what the cost is yet, though. That factor could very well lead me to try other means. Have you had any luck with dating services? If so, tell me your story and the service you used.

[fight4my3sons]

1. I don't have any experience with this.

I am also 35 and can see where you are coming from though. I hope it works out. For what it's worth my dad is going through a divorce after 28 yrs and has used a dating service (don't know which one). He has met a nice woman and is in a relationship with her.

[MissHoneychurch]

2. Go for it!!

it is just another way to meet people.

Good luck Droopy :hug:

[Connonym]

3. I agree, go for it

but go into it thinking about what your motivation is. The people I know who have had luck with it spent a lot of time and energy on the process. I suppose there are people who randomly get lucky with it but the only ones I know sent out a lot of emails, went on a lot of dates, had a lot of disappointments -- being stood up; having long correspondences with people who, when push comes to shove, have no intention of actually meeting; people who are looking just for sex; people who grossly misrepresent themselves both under and over estimating their own charms. But the thing to mostly keep in mind is that it can often be brutal on your self-esteem to send out emails and get no or few responses,to correspond with someone only to have them suddenly stop returning your emails for no apparent reason. If you can go into it with a sense of adventure, an ability to laugh at the whole process and not to take it all too personally then I think it's a really good way to meet people. I've personally not had luck in any long-term romantic sense but two of my best friends are men I briefly dated from an online thing. It's really kind of a numbers thing, the more people you meet the better your odds. And it's a great way to expand your social network.

[Orsino]

4. "Thorough and selective" can mean many different things...

...but this could be a strength of the service--having potential matches vetted locally, with the ability to meet face-to-face. On the other hand, strict membership requirements might exclude some of the most interesting and quirky people you might prefer. It does sound like an avenue worth pursuing, and if there's a price tag on it, well, look at it as your entertainment budget, a hobby you're trying out.

My wife and I were among the first to sign up for match.com thirteen years ago, and we are still blissfully wed. I've heard a lot of horror stories about Internet matching, though, so it might be safest to employ a local, flesh-and-blood service. It needn't be your only option.

Best wishes!