'Christian' bottled water

[trof]

Just in time for Christmas.
WWJD
"What Would Jesus Drink?"

"So it's not surprising that a few savvy marketers would seize on this universal symbol of purity for financial gain. Inspired, perhaps, by vitamin and energy waters, a number of new companies have begun making more explicit claims: their water doesn't just promote good health, it actually makes you good. Holy Drinking Water, produced by a California-based company called Wayne Enterprises, is blessed in the warehouse by an Anglican or Roman Catholic priest (after a thorough background check). Like a crucifix or a rosary, a bottle of Holy Drinking Water is a daily reminder to be kind to others, says Brian Germann, Wayne's CEO. Another company makes Liquid OM, superpurified bottled water containing vibrations that promote a positive outlook. Invented by Kenny Mazursky, a sound therapist in Chicago, the water purportedly possesses an energy field that Mazursky makes by striking a giant gong and Tibetan bowls in its vicinity. He says the good energy can be felt not just after you drink the water but before, when you're holding the bottle.

The most recent entry in this niche is Spiritual Water. It's purified municipal water, sold with 10 different Christian labels. The Virgin Mary bottle, for example, has the Hail Mary prayer printed on the back in English and Spanish. Spiritual Water helps people to "stay focused, believe in yourself and believe in God," says Elicko Taieb, the Florida-based company's founder who was formerly in the pest-control business."
http://www.newsweek.com/id/74380

You really and truly could not make this shit up.

[Mutley]

1. I'll take the Formula J please.

[AllegroRondo]

2. Why didnt I think of that?

brilliant!

[BOSSHOG]

3. "Formerly in the pest control business?"

[trof]

4. Wonder if he knows Tom Delay?

I betcha.

[AspenRose]

7. I think the chemicals affected his thinking

I enjoy reading the Vitamin Water labels. THEY are funny.

Looks like he took that good idea, ripped it off, and tried to "christianize" something secular.

When that happens, it almost always isn't as good as the (secular) original. It just ends up looking foolish.

[Arkansas Granny]

5. What's really unbelievable is that there are people who buy this

stuff. I haven't seen any of this in the stores yet, but I'm sure that here in the buckle of the Bible belt, it will make an appearance soon.

[Dr. Strange]

6. Jesus said, "I am thirsty." (John 19:28)

The perfect slogan!

[ironflange]

31. Wouldn't that be a better slogan for "Jesus' Gourmet Wine Vinegar?"

[Orrex]

8. Does it turn to wine at some point?

If so, sign me up for a case.

[quip]

14. hehe No, grape juice.

[Aristus]

9. Now appearing in trailers across America...

n/t

[RebelOne]

13. I hope you don't mean mobile homes.

I live in a mobile home and I sure as hell wouldn't buy that stuff. Are you implying that those who live in trailers are all religious nuts?

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. Oh for goodness sake. What will people think of next?

[flvegan]

11. I wish I had trademarked the Christly image.

Damn, I'd be rich.

[TheMightyFavog]

12. Come on...

Everybody who plays D&D knows that you need powdered silver to make holy water.

In case of a zombie apocalypse, this stuff would be useless. Wouldn't do a single hit point of holy damage.

[Gen. Jack D. Ripper]

15. WINE!...damn, didn't work

[quip]

16. Entrepreneurs in Israel have been doing something like this for years....

They market and sell "holy water" from the river Jordan, where, as you might remember, is where John baptized Jesus. You get it in little souvenir bottles. Well, since the water system in Israel comes from the Jordan, the "holy water" could basically just be water scooped out of any Israeli's toilet.

[Initech]

17. Holy water, now with 100% more holy goodness!

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. Yes, because environmental waste and earth-destroying is so properly Christian a behavior

[MrScorpio]

19. Anything to make a buck

I bet that the uncopyrighted and ready made product development saved them a fortune

[deucemagnet]

20. I've finally figured out why I'm so evil.

Unholy sandwich spread.



Damn you, Underwood!

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

21. Don't you mean Holy Water?

The Christians borrowing another concept from the Catholics...

(And yes, I AM a Christian, and I still feel this is absurd...)

[southpaw]

22. Sweet Jesus*

*Contains Splenda and artificial flavoring

[Neoma]

23. Holy water?

[KamaAina]

24. So now we know where Stewie's tainted holy water came from

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Father,_the_Son,_and_t...

Francis Griffin, Peter’s father, who is very devout in the Catholic faith, visits Quahog and insists that Stewie be baptized Catholic. Francis and Peter go to St. Philip’s, where the priest refuses to baptize Stewie because he claims the holy water is tainted. Francis does not believe this and pushes Stewie onto the baptismal font. Stewie quickly becomes sick, so Peter and Lois take him to the hospital, where a doctor quickly and correctly diagnoses Stewie’s condition as exposure to tainted holy water.

[Maine-ah]

25. where my hubbie works they sell Military Water.

I can't find a pic for you though. But each bottle is different, each one showing a branch of our military. Some of the profits go to help the soldiers and their families. I don't know where the rest goes though.

[SoxFan]

26. wwjd?

It's got a Biblical basis, right?

[Fire Walk With Me]

27. Is no one here familiar with Dr. Emoto's work clearly demonstrating that water changes

in response to its environment, even words and symbols?

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=emoto+water+cry...

[ironflange]

28. "Every drop is personally walked on by the Savior himself!"

[Deja Q]

29. Or peed by

[ironflange]

30. Well, taking into account the 2000 years. . .

And the nature of the hydrologic cycle, yeah, probably some of each and every bottle was personally peed by Jesus.

[trof]

33. Oh, that's GOOD.

Are you in advertising?

[yellowcanine]

32. If Mr. Germann can separate some fundies from their money with this....

So be it. Maybe they will have less to spend on SUVs and sending the kids to Liberty University.