How do you extinguish anger when dealing with fundy Repub relatives?

[Ladyhawk]

Because of illness, I really can't afford to get angry anymore. But nearly every day I'm confronted with the reality that my family are Republicans with a capital "R." Today I made the mistake of bitching about the trillion dollar deficit. "Who is going to pay for it?" I moaned. My mother said that at least with Bush's tax cuts she didn't have to pay it back and that we should get rid of "some of these programs."

Oh, you mean like the one that benefits her disabled adult daughter? If that happens, I'll be dependent on these people forever. It both frightens and angers me.

I don't want to be angry. I'm tired of being angry. But if I'm not angry, I'm hurt. Should I just keep my mouth shut and expect my family to do the same?

I keep trying to tell myself that they have a disease or an addiction and can't help themselves, but my mind ain't buyin' it.

[Droopy]

1. Well I guess politics isn't everything

When you are around them, try to avoid the subject of politics. If they bring it up just tell them, "You know I'm a Democrat and I really don't want to argue with you." Then try to turn the conversation to some other topic.

It's a shame that your folks are not open to other points of view. I can't think of anything else you can do.

[liberty rising]

2. I completely understand

I have republican family members, even some republican friends...
When the war broke out last year, lets just say some of the discussions became very heated...don't get angry, just try to accept their limitations...however, choose your battles well and don't be afraid to speak your mind...(without getting angry...if they get angry, it's on them)
and best of luck to you

[Lindacooks]

3. Mention the programs that benefit you

She sounds like she needs to learn that 'government programs' benefit everybody (roads, weather warning systems, water purification, police, fire). Nothing pops a repub's balloon faster than reminding them that THEY directly benefit from the scary big government.

[Ladyhawk]

5. She worked a government job.

She should know that she benefited from the government. But she still thinks everything should be privatized. The problem is she can't learn. All she can do is screen information through pre-conceived ideas.

[camero]

4. Mine's like that too

But the anger comes out along with a few choice bible quotes. It'll kill me but sometimes you just have to speak the truth.

It ain't gonna get any better for them if I die. It more than likely will be much worse.

[philosophie_en_rose]

6. You need to become happy bunny.

Venting your disdain in ways that make yourself feel better.

[WildClarySage]

7. Strong drink

(just kidding)

we just avoid politics altogether.

There is hope, at least for my sister. Mom says she's now ABB.

[name not needed]

8. this really helps

[Ladyhawk]

12. Don't think I haven't visualized something like this. :)

Never seriously, of course. I stopped being a gun nut when I stopped being a fundy. I figured out that the men in my family would never respect me no matter how well I could shoot.

[madrchsod]

9. stay away from politics

don`t mention it at all. if they bring it up just say you don`t want to discuss it and change the subject. if they insist then politely tell them that that it`s makes you uncomfortable and you or she will have to leave. this is the best way to deal with people like your family. they will get the hint that you are going to stick up for yourself.
dependency doesn`t mean you have to live in anger and fear.

[Ladyhawk]

11. It was my fault for bringing it up.

In an ideal world, I should be able to bring up what I've learned, but this isn't an ideal world. I should have learned better by now and just kept my big trap shut.

[Interrobang]

14. Don't blame yourself.

It's *not* your fault that you're angry about current events, and it's *not* your fault that your family is the way they are. Blaming yourself is every bit as self-destructive (and bad for the immune system and everything else) as getting angry about things.

Speaking as a lifelong 'gimp', I know it's important to use your limited reserve of energy on the things that *really* matter, and self-recrimination isn't one of them.

Perhaps you could start a diary, journal, or blog to let your feelings out and get some catharsis, since you don't seem to have very many people who are sympathetic listeners...?

[Beearewhyain]

10. I know of what you speak

My father is a fundie minister and I...well..to say the least, am not. If you find that you have to stay with them there are a few techniques I have picked up over the years that have made me feel a bit better in dealing with them . The primary problem for fundies is the contradiction in the way they live/political views and the teachings of the Christ. Knowing the Bible fairly well helped so that when ever they would rail against the gov't, poor, immoral I would basically shoot back "What would Jesus do?" Didn't change their views and would usually get back some sort of idiotic rationalization but it did make me feel better that a little bit of reason poked holes in their self righteous BS. Don't know if this will help but hope it does.

[TrogL]

13. Yoga

breathe

[GoddessOfGuinness]

16. Breathing in I'm aware

that my in-laws are idiots.

Breathing out I'm aware that their stupidity is as humorous as it is tragic.

[ngGale]

15. "Sometimes laughter is the best medicine--but

it's hard to laugh when you hear Bush talk too much." LOL I can identify with you. Most of my friends are Repubs and I've been listening for years now. It was Bill Clinton and now the Bushie thing. Once in awhile I too get very angry, so I just quit talking to them. Sad! Especially, when you see them losing health-care and jobs too.