Why Santa can't possibly be a man:

[Lady Freedom]

a. Men can't pack a bag
b. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
c. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves
d. Men don't answer their mail
e. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in just as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of jelly"
f. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them
g. Having to do the Ho-Ho-Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women
h. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment

[China_cat]

1. You forgot

i) They get lost easily and won't stop to get directions.

[CGowen]

2. There was a thread yesterday on this

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7206688