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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:02 PM
Original message
About 15 years ago...
...I picked up this cute guy in a coffee shop and brought him home. He seemed like your kind-of-typical-outdoor-adventure-borderline-extreme-sport type. He had a great body. He had a low-key temperament. He wasn't really my type for boyfriend material, but was my type at the time for a night of fun, so I thought. We were getting along fine, listening to music, smoking a little grass. We started making out. It started to get a little heavier. Then it became clearly the time to bust out a condom. He said that he didn't use condoms. I said, well then your not having sex. He went on and on about how he was clean and tested negative for everything and hadn't been with anyone since the last time he was tested and he was totally safe. I told him that even if I had reason to believe him, there was no way I was going to risk getting pregnant. Then I ended up telling him that I had unprotected sex once in college and ended up getting pregnant and having an abortion and that there was no way I would knowingly do something so stupid ever again.

He went on to say that he could no longer hang out with me because he was pro-freaking-life.

This made me so angry, that from time to time (like now) I still think of this asshole and want to rip him a new one all over again.

How can a person be anti-condom and anti-choice? This guy was working to convince me to have unprotected sex with him, yet he wouldn't support my choice to abort if pregnancy resulted.

We were fighting so loudly, my house-mates all came to my room. Then we all started yelling at this guy. He ended up calling me a witch, of all things.

It's frustrating enough trying to talk about the whole life/choice issue, but I couldn't even make this guy understand that if he is going to be anti-choice and pro-casual sex, he better damn well be pro putting on a damn condom!

Arrgh!

I don't know what made me think of this. But has anyone ever made you so mad, that you still go over the whole thing in your mind and get all pissed off again years later?
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. My dear rbnyc...
I've done that too...

Gotten mad all over again, that is...

I try hard not to do it, though...

Sounds to me as though you have unresolved issues, or whatever the phrase is these days...

Time to put this one to bed, IMHO...

He was an asshole, it's done and over, time to let go...

Maybe you regret the episode?

Regrets are poisonous...You can't change what happened, so walk away...

I'm sorry it didn't work out, though...

:hug:
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. I'm just avoiding work.
I'm over-tired and I'm not into my to-do list.

:)

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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
2. no glove... no love
I can't get pregnant, but I still won't risk an STD.

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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. That's right. If you're not gonna sack it...
...you can go home and whack it.

It will be sweeter, if youwrap your peter.

;-)
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:12 PM
Response to Original message
3. Oh thank God!
When I first started reading your post I thought you were going to say that, 15 years later, you just found out you got pregnant and now had a kid in high school you never knew about.
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. LOL!!
Too funny.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
4. GRRRRR!
asshole
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. this is what i meant yesterday when i said, you are willing to reveal things
that most people on du dont anymore.

:hug: :loveya:
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:20 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. I wish more people would tell stories about their lives.
I'm sure people here have had lots of interesting experiences. I like to tell stories. And I'm not ashamed of my life for the most part. Hey, I used to be young and hot. I'm glad I enjoyed it. (Most of the time!) Now I'm an old, stout mamma and I'm enjoying that too.

You're the best.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. i used to but i find that some people regurgitate that info in a hurtful manner
so i am becoming wary.

:hug:
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. It's true, open = vulnerable.
My advisor in college used to say that I live like an open hand instead of a closed fist and I should never make the mistake of thinking that the open hand is weaker. He said the closed fist may look stronger and may hit harder. But the open hand is willing to risk being hurt in order to feel more and that is a special kind of strength. He was a wonderful man and really had an impact on my life. I'm lucky I went to really great school and got to work with him.
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #17
31. Hey, last time I shared something personal on DU, my thread got locked
All I said was "Man, do I have the farties today!"

Was that so wrong?
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
5. I was 18 or 19 that year, and wouldn't have done anything without one
kids back then? Insanity. Don't even want them now.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. That's not what you told me.
when I said I would give you custody of BabyMidlo. :cry:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. oh look, my cab's here
:yoiks:
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. Seriously. I'm 39 and have a good job.
I'm married. And we can just about handle one 3-year old. I can't imagine being a 20-something bartender/musician changing my address every 3-6 months and having a kid.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
12. He sounds like he was anti-responsibility.
I'm glad you ditched him. You have to wonder how many pregnancies he's walked away from. x(
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. I do wonder.
He was really very physically attractive. I'm sure some less secure or less thoughtful girls just went for it. I don't think he was used to hearing NO.
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formerrepuke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
18. The anti-choice crowd is very often anti-birth control.. condoms included..n/t
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. Which is why...
...there are more abortions when pro-life people are making policies.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. They're pro-pregnancy, but anti-child.
x(

It's like they think pregancy is a punishment, and they have some "god-given" right to inflict it upon people.
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #24
29. While making Thanksgiving pies this year...
...my son was acting up and my husband said he was going to tell Uncle Matt if he didn't settle down.

And I said, "And Uncle Matt is a Republican so he only cares about the well-being of children BEFORE they are born."

My husband shushed me. And I said, "It's your brother's choice to work for the Republican Party. If he can't defend their positions, he should quit." (He works for a local Assemblyman.)

Anyway, THAT turned into a huge discussion. Thing is, the only person who was upset was my husband, who tries never to take a side. Everyone who had an opinion had no problem arguing.
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Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
19. Do I still go over the whole thing in my mind? Yes. It's always learnable.
And it's good to reassure ourselves of our convictions.

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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. True
I guess it's a fine line between reenforcing lessons/continuing self discovery, and being obsessive/holding grudges/letting your energy be drained.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
22. was it Tom Brady? no...too young. nt.
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. LOL. I don't remember his name.
But he looked a lot like:



Though I didn't know that at the time since I had no idea who Ashton Kutcher was at that time.
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Jeff In Milwaukee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:38 PM
Response to Original message
23. Hmmm....Nothing comes to mind right away
Wait. Now I remember...

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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. AAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AH!
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Jeff In Milwaukee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. Sorry -- Probably should have put a warning in the Subject Line
nt
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LisaM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
28. I don't understand why his contradictory personality
Didn't cause his head to explode! I'd say that his brains would go all over the room when it happened but I am not sure that this guy had brains.
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. If his brain had exploded...
...I don't think it would have made a very big mess.
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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. !
nice one
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
33. that is pathetic
he overidentifies with his sperm. I you've got me thinking about that, is there anything that happened in the past that still gets me steamed...nothing is registering right now, but if I think about it long enough something might come to the surface.
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