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Serious Question: Do you judge people getting tested for STD's?

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:08 AM
Original message
Serious Question: Do you judge people getting tested for STD's?
i do. i judge them as responsible people who are trying to take care of themselves and their current/future partner/s.


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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. Nope.
I judge people for not getting tested.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:12 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. well i think there are serious reasons why people dont. include the huge stigma society creates
for those with stds and those getting checked for std's.

so i try not to judge them either
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Lady Freedom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:10 AM
Response to Original message
2. If a person test for cholesterol, you don't judge them. So why ...
judge a person for a STD screening? It is all part of keeping healthy.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:36 AM
Response to Reply #2
58. Don't you hate people who get tested for cholesterol?
It's just immoral. :evilgrin:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:36 AM
Response to Reply #58
59. lol
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:13 AM
Response to Original message
4. i never thought much about it
When I was in the Army, we were required to get an HIV test every 2 years at a minimum. It was just something you did, there was no judging or anything. You'd just go to the clinic, say "Im here for my HIV test", they'd take your blood, and that was it.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:33 AM
Response to Original message
5. it is for god to judge. nt
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Greyskye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #5
151. explain?
n/t
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #151
152. man is weak and powerless. nt.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:35 AM
Response to Original message
6. I judge them as responsible and self-loving. It's a must for total health. nt
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:42 AM
Response to Reply #6
10. self-love is the cornerstone of having a healthy relationship with ones own self
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Giant Robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:36 AM
Response to Original message
7. I tend not to think about it
Like I would a cholesterol test, blood pressure test, etc. It's all the same. But good for anyone who gets checked and is considerate about their health and their partner's health as well.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
8. I don't know that I've ever been aware of anyone who was getting tested
and I certainly wouldn't make it public if I were being tested. That kind of thing is private.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:43 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. it is and isnt. i remember a while ago someone posted on du about getting an HIV test
it was a pretty moving thread and it does encourage young people to get tested.

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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:07 AM
Response to Reply #8
15. That is my thought as well. I don't recall anyone ever
telling me that they were getting tested for an STD in 'casual conversation'.

Could just be the crowd I run with, though. :shrug:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:09 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. or the age group.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:23 AM
Response to Reply #16
25. Don't know. I don't recall people discussing it when I was young and single.
:shrug:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:24 AM
Response to Reply #25
26. was aids a huge issue then?
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:26 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. it's been around this country more than 20 years
that would have put me in my early 20s... right around the time I had my kid.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:30 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. yes, it has and thankfully about 10 years of asking people to test and be tested
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 09:31 AM by lionesspriyanka
and not stigmatize it has made it easier for people to get tested for std's in general and to be more open about these things.

i am all for removing stigma from testing. especially for something that are killing people i know and love.

ofcourse it could just be that i hang out with a bunch of classless freaks, while you and midlo have a better class of friends. but i doubt this is true.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #28
29. I'm no fan of stigmas
and I doubt that my friends are any classier than your friends.

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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:37 AM
Response to Reply #28
30. Or it could be something as simple as people not wishing to
discuss their health issues. I never announced when I was getting a Pap smear to my friends, either. And, my husband doesn't discuss his prostate exams or his PSA with his friends either.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:41 AM
Response to Reply #30
31. there is a stigma attached to STD testing in this country. nt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:46 AM
Response to Reply #31
33. yup. nt
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #31
48. Indeed there is.
And also for getting help with mental / emotional issues.
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Cabcere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #48
99. That is very true on both counts, unfortunately. (n/t)
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:44 AM
Response to Reply #30
32. what you said was that you dont recall anyone speaking about it.
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 09:45 AM by lionesspriyanka
well i do. most of my gay friends at some point or the other have atleast mentioned that they either have gotten tested or are about to get tested. most of my friends are young and gay. i hear this std testing thing all the time. i have heard it from my straight friends do, but less often.

it was something that was frequently discussed in college too. i went to nyu.



the more people talk about this, the less the stigma is.

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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:46 AM
Response to Reply #32
34. for some, the entire world consists of middle class white suburbia. nt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:46 AM
Response to Reply #34
35. also straight. nt
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:53 AM
Response to Reply #32
39. I had many, many friends die during the AIDS epidemic of the '80s.
At that point, people didn't equate AIDS or HIV with gonorrhea or chlamydia or syphilis. Although unpleasant, none of those things were killing people. Addtionally, when the epidemic began, it was considered a 'gay man's disease', wrongly so, but lesbians and straight people didn't feel the need to be tested in the early stages of the epidemic.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #39
44. there are still lots of people dying from this disease. largely due to the stigma...
attached to testing.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:14 AM
Response to Reply #44
47. anything that is stigmatized is often considered private. for instance if you hear right wingers
talk about gay rights, they often say "why must you make somethign private (i.e. gay sex) into something i need to hear about".

or some variation of that.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:19 AM
Response to Reply #47
49. people are dying because of that attitude. nt.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #47
101. Sometimes "private" is a polite way to say "possibly shameful...
so let's keep a lid on that, eh?"
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RebelSansCause Donating Member (304 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #32
135. yay NYU
:)
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #135
136. i know, right! best school ever!!
:hi:

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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #136
138. not...that school is in Virginia. nt.
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RebelSansCause Donating Member (304 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #136
147. indeed nt
:hi:
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:51 AM
Response to Reply #30
38. yeah, I don't talk to people about my medical stuff
it's not that I'm consciously trying to promote a stigma. It's not that I'm old, or homophobic, or snobbish.

I'm a private person. It doesn't matter if I'm being tested for anemia or diabetes or an STD... that's private. I would talk to my family about it. I encourage my young son to be tested, and I encourage him to encourage his friends.

But I'm not going to tell my friends at the lunch table about what medical tests I'm having performed this week.

It's not polite.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:55 AM
Response to Reply #38
40. well so you are assuming your son talks about getting tested with his friends right?
i am not implying you are snobbish or homophobic. i am just saying that the age group you hang out in, and the one i do, and the implications regarding health are different.

thats all.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:58 AM
Response to Reply #40
42. I am assuming
that my son discusses STDs and birth control with anyone he may be (or may want to be) involved with.

If you can't discuss that stuff with a person you're thinking of sleeping with, you shouldn't be sleeping with them.

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:58 AM
Response to Reply #42
43. thats a very good point.
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:28 AM
Response to Reply #40
53. I think this is wrong on two counts.
One-most people don't hang out in a certain age group---which, indeed, would indicate snobbery. My husband and I have/had friends in their early 20's, in our 30's age group, in their forties and on up to even one of his best friends...a 65 year old single, and dating, male.

Two-With divorce rates rising, many people not in your age group, perhaps even older, find themselves in the same life situation as you. Single, dating, attracted, and still wishing for intimacy. There is a rising prevalence of STD's among people in older age groups...if we're going to group.

In answer to the OP, it never crossed my mind. It still doesn't. I tried not to ever judge people, and now... I just don't give enough of a damn to get up the energy it takes to sit in judgement.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #53
57. How are you, sweetie?
And, I agree with you. :hug:
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #57
60. To be honest...my life sucks.
And it's all about looking really hard at my children to find enough reason these days. :hug:
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #60
61. I know. I've been reading.
Not posting to it, so much, but still reading and my heart aches for you, my friend.

You have my number. Call me if there is anything I can ever do. :hug:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #53
63. most people do hangout with their peers. granted one can have a few friend not
in the same age group, but generally the bulk of your friends are your peers.

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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #63
65. Deleted message
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #65
66. Deleted sub-thread
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:00 AM
Response to Reply #65
69. what the heck does this mean? are you saying most people have an evenly...
distributed bell curve of friends? why don't you have friends that are in the 8-11 year old range? To most of society it is much more important that your friends get tested for STD's.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #69
70. its a baseless and fairly senseless personal attack. nt
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #70
73. Deleted message
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #73
76. don't let facts get in the way of that irrationality. nt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #73
77. you're using your grief as an excuse to lecture me.
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 11:16 AM by lionesspriyanka
my relationship is doing fine as am i. this has nothing to do with my relationships.

i never said people HAVE to have friends in their own age group.

i said most people do.

that is all.

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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:10 AM
Response to Reply #77
78. No. I'm saying this opinion you hold is a baseless and stupid one.
That is all.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #78
80. which is fine. however your whole lecture about my relationships and regrets etc
was unnecessary and unprovoked.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:23 AM
Response to Reply #80
84. its not fine..its idiotic. and its not unprovoked....someone else just did the provoking. nt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:31 AM
Response to Reply #84
86. apparantly if i disagree with some people, it clearly means i am a snob
and lisa and i are about to break up and my life will be full of regrets.

:eyes: such drama
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-04-07 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #77
158. Wow.... I wouldn't have believed this response if I hadn't read it...
..myself.

:-(
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Sock Puppet Donating Member (624 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-04-07 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #158
160. Did you see what she was responding to?
What made you kick this thread back up? Did the PM brigade contact you?
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-04-07 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #160
161. If you must know...
I was wondering how MrsGrumpy (Laura) was doing and did a search by her name.

I was shocked to see her attacked in this manner, though I shouldn't be shocked by anything anymore-- including a new poster alluding to a "PM brigade" - as if they'd been around the block several times already - in this very thread. Hmm... not difficult to figure that one out.

p.s., My PM's are turned off.

:eyes:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #73
123. Jeez.
Totally unnecessary attack.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:04 PM
Response to Reply #123
127. Deleted message
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #127
134. Deleted message
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:31 PM
Response to Reply #70
118. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #118
120. no not really surprised. i think people look for reasons to justify their preconceptions,
however there are more than enough people here who like me. so its not really that big a deal.

:loveya:
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:56 PM
Response to Reply #118
125. Welcome back!
There has been some good stuff here too. And I think the animosity has sort of tapered off a bit, as long as you stay out of GD-P. :P

:hi:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #125
133. Hi, Thom.
How are you?

Before I took my hiatus, I was spending most of my time in GD, and, at that time, it was less hostile than the lounge. LOL.

But GD: P. Oh no, I'm not going in there. 2003/4 was awful enough, and DU only had a third of the members it has now!

:hi:
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:04 AM
Response to Reply #53
72. Snobbery? That's unnecessarily judgemental.
I know a lot of people who's friends are all roughly their own age. That's usually because they have been friends since school, when everyone was roughly segregated by age.

If you make new friends as an adult they are likely to vary in age, but friends from school probably won't.

That's not snobbery. It's just the normal result of school.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #72
74. school, college and entry level jobs often put you in the same age group as your friends.
i have older friends thanks to du, but would otherwise have friends in my peer age (2 plus/minus from my age)
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #72
75. Snobbery.
But, in the end, it doesn't matter, does it Thom?
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:10 AM
Response to Reply #75
79. I'm sorry, but your response makes no sense.
What doesn't matter? You still haven't explained how having friends of roughly the same age is snobbery.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #79
81. or why i should have regrets about my relationship?
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 11:46 AM by lionesspriyanka
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #79
82. its irrational...give it up. nt.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:46 PM
Response to Reply #82
124. Yep.
Good lord. :(
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #38
144. I do.
Me mentioning that I got my first mammagram inspired two of my friends to do it. My good friends care about my health, and I theirs. Discussing medical stuff for us is no different than discussing work stuff--except that in some cases it saves lives.

Politeness is defined by different people in different ways.



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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:19 PM
Response to Reply #30
111. If you're in a college community, you hear it frequently.
It has nothing to do with social status or "class." Kids are more free with their conversations than my generation was at college age.

They talk much more freely about sex than previous generations. I'm a generation older than most of the people I'm around on college campuses, and I've heard conversations about it, especially among gay students groups. Indeed, they publicly advocate for it.

I think it's great that they discuss issues as they do. It leads to less shame, more openness, and greater responsibility. Kids are much less stodgy than previous generations (which were not immune to "the clap" and other STDs, themselves), and at least they can get tested without stigma.

That's progress, IMHO.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:20 PM
Response to Reply #111
112. seconded, i was just going to pm you.
hope things with you are good. :hug:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #112
113. I beat you to it.
:hi:

:hug:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #113
115. Oh, and let me add...
on record, on the board...

There are so many interpersonal undercurrents that inhibit good, informative discussion from happening at DU these days.

This was a good thread. Should have led to honest, productive discussion. But sometimes the thread is judged by the messenger instead of the message, and the responses reflect previous antagonisms and judgmentalism. It's all over this thread. Sad.


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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:40 PM
Response to Reply #111
145. Since I'm not currently teaching, I wouldn't be able to tell you.
I left full time at the tail end of the AIDS epidemic, so I don't hear people discussing it very much. Even teenagers. That could be more a product of their reticence, though. When I taught a Human Sexuality Class about 10 years back, it was far more open that it had been when I left full time teaching. And, not just about sexuality, that's for sure.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:41 AM
Response to Original message
9. i think they are profligate beasts of the appetite who lead disconsolate lives of utter hedonism
and god will punish all of them and they will be sent to hell unless they find jesus christ as their savior.

amen.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:45 AM
Response to Reply #9
14. amen
:P
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
12. I used to ENVY people getting tested for STD's.
I spent MANY a formative year not getting any; the way I looked at it, at least SOMEONE was getting some.

This isn't a joke. Really.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. i am confused about what you mean....
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:10 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. i think he's saying you only need to get tested if you have sex
and he envied folks who had sex enough to get tested
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:11 AM
Original message
ahh.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #13
18. you need to be having sex to get tested. nt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. boy. i am unbright today.
:hi:
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. And BOY did I spend some time NOT having sex.
It wasn't my idea. Trust me.
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Pierre.Suave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #21
36. hahaha
thanks for my morning laugh.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #21
85. I hope you're corrected that.
:)
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:42 PM
Response to Reply #18
100. Oh HELL NO!, You can get herpes from sharing lipstick or kissing
I'm confident I won't get HIV, but after that Herpes is my biggest fear since there is no cure and it is unsightly and embarassing. Someone I know got oral Herpes in junior high school from sharing lipstick. She had no idea what happened or why there were sores on her mouth until she got the blood test.

Knock on wood, I am thankful I have never gotten any STI's. I have gotten a cold from someone while kissing.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #18
122. I wanted to add that doctors, medical examiners, morticians, etc. can get HIV
from blood. You can get HIV from a dead body if infected blood squirts onto you and gets inside. Not to scare anyone but you can get HIV from needles, tattoo parlors, from bleeding mouths, sharing a toothbrush or razor blade, from mother to child during birth or breastfeeding, sharing earrings, and many other non-sexual activities where blood can be exchanged.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #12
102. I know what you mean
I was pretty shy for most of my life and was a virgin throughout high school college. It's nice to have a horny girlfriend now and have sex with her almost every day. (I'm 24 and she's my first girlfriend)
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #102
107. That's right. Rub it in. Creep.
I spent most of my 20's not having sex, followed by 2 years of insanity with the ex (bipolar) then 10 years of next to nothing while playing single dad, Now me and the SO are in our 50's and I still have the same libido I had when I was 15, and she thinks sex is a thing of the past!!!!!

I still love her, but kill me please.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:10 PM
Response to Reply #107
108. Dude, I wasn't trying to rub it in!
lighten up man! Maybe she'll come around eventually. Try seducing her with a special candle-lit dinner with sexy music, wine, and chocolate.
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Tyler Durden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #108
119. Don't take it personally!
I did have one girlfriend that stayed with me for 4 months over the summer of 1976. She (if I can say this) Screwed me absolutely BLIND every single day of it.

Broke my heart though. Karma is a bitch.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #102
109. I hope she's training you well.
:P
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #109
110. It's wonderful! I'm loving it! nt
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Genevieve Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:15 AM
Response to Original message
20. The subject of "judging" people that get tested for STD's
has never even crossed my mind. :shrug:
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kwassa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
22. I would judge them as being responsible
something that anyone having sex out there needs to be.
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kid a Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
23. yes - they are going to HELL! :)
have a great day
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:22 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. see you in hell.
:P
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
37. Nope.
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 09:51 AM by redqueen
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:56 AM
Response to Reply #37
41. hey there.
:hug:
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:12 AM
Response to Reply #41
45. Hi sweetie.
:hug:
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:13 AM
Response to Original message
46. no.
why would anybody judge another person for that? It's the responsible thing to do for both parties. I started dating my husband right before i turned 20 which was in 1987 and we were both honest about previous relationships and we both got tested.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:20 AM
Response to Original message
50. No, I wouldn't judge somebody on that
I just judge them on their bra size.

:hide:

just kidding.

I would probably think they're a responsible person for getting tested for STDs, as I haven't heard anybody proclaim it in public before.

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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
51. I take the same stance as you....
why some people who are active with multiple partners refuse to get tested regularly is befuddling.

I'm trying to get myself an appointment, for that matter- since I found out that my monogamous relationship was a one-sided thing.
x(
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #51
52. well i understand why people are afraid. the stigma of having hiv/std is still very high.
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #52
62. True....
But just going to be tested isn't where the stigma lies.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #62
64. but once you test, you know and the stigma follows.
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #64
83. I guess it's a different point of view....
But I can't imagine NOT wanting to know if your own personal health (and possibly life) was in jeopardy. And the responsibility to your partners is another level.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #83
87. i think i understand both perspectives. clearly one is the more responsible way to do things
but i do understand both sides of the coin.
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:30 AM
Response to Original message
54. STD testing should be mandatory...if you go to the doctor...
my knee was jacked up and the first doctor thought I had gout, so they took blood but only ran tests for rhumatoid (sp) arthritis, uric acid levels, etc., but nothing STD related.

Eventually it was found I had septic pre-pattella bursitis, had surgery, etc., they did blood work again so they could compare white/red cell count if needed, blah blah, but instead of the two vials the lady took 4 vials of blood. All with different caps, and one vial had a red cap. She said that one was so they can test for HIV/Hepatitis/Herpes...

I thought why didn't they just do that the first time...

So, any time blood work is done, it should be mandatory to test for all STD in my mind...
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:32 AM
Original message
apparantly that is my docs philosophy.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #54
55. apparantly that is my docs philosophy.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #54
137. really?
How often?

what if you haven't had sex in a really long time?

I think my doctor and I should be in charge of deciding what tests I should have. Don't you?
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:29 PM
Response to Reply #137
141. i dont think it should be mandatory but normalized. you know how when you get a physical
you get tested for cholesterol and bunch of other stuff. i think stds should be part of that package.

hiv is a bit different and i think the seperate consent form is still necessary
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:33 PM
Response to Reply #141
143. I don't think the doc should run any unnecessary tests
and run up the bill to my insurance company.

Some people are not sexually active. For years at a time.

Driving up costs drives up premiums.

Doctors and patients should discuss whether a test is necessary (and if a person is active, the test IS necessary) and run tests accordingly.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
56. Actually, no one has ever told me he or she was being tested.
I suppose if someone did, I would just hope that person did not have anything lethal.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
67. Hell no! Back in the 90s it wasn't uncommon
for a group of gay men to go together to get tested for AIDS. I've been tested regularly, and when I get my bloodwork done for other medical reasons I periodically get tested for STDs. Getting tested for STDs is the responsible thing to do.

I think it shows some maturity and responsibility.

I hope nobody's giving you a hard time about getting tested, or about mentioning it.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #67
97. i am glad someone else has experienced this.
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
68. I'm not planning on gettin' it on with anyone who HASN'T had a comprehensive STD/HIV test first.
Call me a loveless, lust-killing control freak, but I'm not gonna fuck around (literally) with someone who could get me sick. It's not worth it, to me. The whole "Don't you trust me??" argument also has no weight with me, as it's easy to get and transmit an STD without knowing it. Please give me the results of testing first.

So I judge people who are tested for STDs as reasonable and as taking responsibility.
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #68
91. you've got a good head on your shoulders
that is a very mature (and extremely smart) position to take.
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
71. it's just smart to do!
why, is there a thread in GD? ;)
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:39 AM
Response to Original message
88. I get tested, and so does my girlfriend
sure, I judge them as being responsible and sensible. It's a good thing. I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't responsible enough to care about her own health, let alone mine.

Besides, it feels good to know you're both clean.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
89. I think it's great.
I have a new partner once every 3 blue moons, but I'll still get tested as a courtesy to them. I also get tested as part of my regular exams.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #89
90. hey
:hi:
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #90
93. "Speecy-spicy meatball" was the winner
of the blind taste test, BTW. Thought you'd want to know.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #93
94. thanks dear!
:loveya:
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
92. it's a necessity anymore
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 12:07 PM by kagehime
and i think it is the responsible thing to do. my doc runs a panel every year when i go in for my physical and it's no biggie to me.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
95. It's a responsible thing to do if the couple doesn't practice monogamy,
"serial monogamy with those they know are genuinely clean", or otherwise.

I decided I couldn't live like that; in fear of some disease - amongst numerous other factors, including peer pressure and outside perception.

So I stopped doing the risky behaviors.

But it's true; and recklessness of youth, peer pressure, and the manipulative greed of others can lead to disaster. Indeed, without venturing into TMI territory, and perhaps I should if you really want to hear how others' lives aren't the same, I was far less reckless than some would believe. There's an irony too as suicide was on my mind at one time...

Let's just say I learned not to trust people and am grateful what little of a past I chose to do didn't cost me my life. And I shouldn't have caved to that stupid expectation in the first place, but that's how people behaved so it's either conform or get mocked... (Wanna talk about judgment some more? For now, let's just say it's a universal coefficient...)

I just hope people realize the deeper nuances and how bad so many people can be before they in turn get abused and given something nasty, if not a death sentence. If that is an example of judgment, maybe you have a point. I just think it's wrong for people to throw away their lives so aimlessly, or because somebody else was such a pig.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:36 PM
Response to Reply #95
96. people wiht std's arent dirty, they have a sickness. nt
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #95
104. I think you're making a lot of assumptions.
Even people who are completely monogamous should be tested, because "you're sleeping with everyone your partner ever slept with."

No matter how much you know and trust your partner it's just the responsible thing to do. Stopping "the risky behavior" means being completely celibate. If you aren't completely celibate then you should be tested periodically.

Your post sounds like you're condemning anyone who has a sex life. I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences, but don't project that onto others.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #104
106. i think major projection here is that there is something wrong with people
who are having sex.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #95
105. thats incorrect.
when i got pregnant i had an aids test, i had already been married for almost 4 years but as a precaution they did one. You do know that hiv doesn't show up right away, right?
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
98. Everyone should be tested..I have been and thank goodness I am disease free
Now if everyone would.
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
103. I try not to know who's getting tested for STD's...
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 12:45 PM by TreasonousBastard
unless I have a vested interest in the answer.
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Evoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
114. YES I JUDGE THEM.
They are stupid. IF they had sex with the girl on top, they wouldn't NEED any testing now would they? Everyone know you can't get aids if the girl is on top.

Besides, if you do get an std or you think you have one, all you have to do is sleep with a virgin and it will go away. Why bother a doctor with this stuff.

Geez.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #114
116. ..
:rofl:
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #114
117. If you have sex, I GUARANTEE YOU WILL DIE
eventually. You'll also die if you don't but you might die much happier if you did. ;)
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IntravenousDemilo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
121. I have a favourable opinion, as I had to get tested for AIDS and other STDs when I went...
...to work at a mental hospital.

Also, every unit of blood given to the Red Cross or, up here, Canadian Blood Services is tested for STDs and other diseases, which means blood donors are all tested on a regular basis.

And blood donors are the very best and noblest people in the world.
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hisownpetard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
126. No, I don't judge them any more than I judge people ordering BLTs.
:-)
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Beer Snob-50 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:06 PM
Response to Original message
128. gotta say i tend not to judge at all
because i really don't want to be judged either. but i agree with your sentiment about how responisble they are.
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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:14 PM
Response to Original message
129. my best friend
He gets tested every couple months and I'm always glad to hear the result! It's never 100% perfect result but at least I can still be pretty sure he'll be with me when I'm old .. that's all that matters, that we're old together :headbang:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:16 PM
Response to Reply #129
130. if you dont mind my asking, why every 2 months.
i thought in high risk groups people got tested every 3 months?

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stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #130
148. every THREE months!
I was quess-timating.. I feel weird asking him about being tested so usually I just let him tell me his good results when he gets them.
Make it "once in a while" because I can't keep track of time.. I'm just glad whenever I hear good test results :headbang:
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FunkyLeprechaun Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
131. Nope
I got tested for STDs a while back even though I've been with the same guy for almost seven years. I had to get BC and the clinic I went to in the UK asked me if it was ok for them to test me for STDs. I said, "Sure." It's all clear, btw.

I do know someone with HIV (first person I've known that has it), he didn't tell me but my partner told me. My friend knows that I know but we don't talk about it. He's still my friend and that hasn't changed at all.

STD testing should be up there with getting your daily Flu Shot.
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #131
132. foreigners get daily flu shots? wow. nt.
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FunkyLeprechaun Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #132
139. Nope they don't
It's a choice but I have to get a daily flu shot every autumn due to the fact I can get sick quite easily.

Maybe a better analogy would comparing it to a check-up?
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IndianaJones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #139
140. is it a vaccine? for how many days? nt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #140
142. i think he doesnt mean to say daily. i thnk he means annually
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triguy46 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 02:43 PM
Response to Original message
146. Being tested is an important first step, but the second step is greater:
Understanding how to protect oneself and other through responsible behaviors. As health educators we need to take advantage of the teachable moment. Its one thing to be tested, but the reason for seeking testing is doubt and concern over behavior that the individual knows has put them at risk. The test, in this case, is not the key issue.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #146
155. "but the reason for seeking testing is doubt and concern over behavior that the individual knows..."
"has put them at risk."

Not necessarily.

And I think a LOT more people would get tested if so-called health educators didn't feel entitled to try and lecture/judge them simply because they asked to be screened.

Holy shit.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-29-07 06:34 AM
Response to Reply #146
157. or because safe sex isnt a hundred percent safe.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 03:44 PM
Response to Original message
149. Difficult - I'm there every six months
PCKB issues.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 05:25 PM
Response to Reply #149
150. whats that?
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
153. That's the best place to pick up chicks.
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cuke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
154. I used to
When I was younger, I was sexually irresponsible but I did have the presence of mind to get tested on a regular basis. When I went in, I would feel guilty for being so irresponsible and would judge people who were in a similar situation. I felt my experiences entitled me to judge.

Later on in life, I learned more about what motivates people (like me) to do these sorts of things, and now I am more sympathetic
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qwertyMike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-28-07 09:57 PM
Response to Original message
156. I'm a Blood Donor
Edited on Wed Nov-28-07 10:01 PM by qwertyMike
A negative
So i assume they check for STD's

I also go into shock when i donate, but they say they can use the plasma (?)

They call me every 6 weeks. Canada.
No $$$$'s involved



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Cabcere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-04-07 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
159. Not negatively.
I think it's a responsible, smart, and considerate thing to do. :hi:
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