What is the Worst XMas Song Ever?

[JCMach1]

My nomination most recently sung by Kenny Chesney:

The Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

The Christmas Shoes Lyrics will surely make you realize that Christmas is also a time that we think of the less fortunate ones among us, and only then can we aim to catch “a glimpse of heaven's love”. Enjoy the festive season with Christmas Carnivals and browse through other links on the site to find out more about Christmas Shoes.
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The insipid lyrics and music make me want to

Other nominations?

[gmoney]

1. Classic: Little Drummer Boy / Recent: Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer

crimes against humanity, both of them...

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

22. I love "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"

I realize that may be controversial...but I can't be alone on this!

[Giant Robot]

30. All right I'll say it

I like The Little Drummer Boy.

There I said it.

I'm not ashamed. Nope. Now just keep your snickers to yourself thank you very much.

[bmbmd]

43. Yes-and here is the grandest version ever.

I would never have thought of a Bowie-Crosby duet....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_zMhSjDqvRs

[tigereye]

45. me too!

there was a nice version on one of the albums we listened to as kids. So I have a nostaligic fondness for it.

[raccoon]

32. I hate "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer" too. nt

[terrya]

41. I hate that "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" song.

I'd like to kill the person who wrote that song.

[bullwinkle428]

48. Interesting story I heard on NPR around last Christmas -

the original "Little Drummer Boy" was something like the "most despised Christmas song" for years in polls! However, after the Crosby/Bowie duet was released, it soon became the favorite song for many...

[mwooldri]

62. I wish Grandma got run over by a reindeer never was recorded.

My grandmother got run over on Christmas Eve and I'd much rather be locked in a padded cell listening to the Chicken Song endlessly than ever hear that tune again.

[WildEyedLiberal]

2. Santa Baby

Ew. Just fucking ew. And it's ALWAYS sung by some pouty-lipped simpering bimbo with a babydoll voice.

Makes me want to gouge out my ears.

[Heidi]

9. Agree 100 percent,

although the RuPaul version has redeeming qualities.

[WildEyedLiberal]

11. LOL - that sounds like something I should check out

I was in the mall last week and the song came on with requisite breathy, faux-porn star vocals and I wanted to stab something.

Howdy Heidi!

[Heidi]

12. Merry Christmas, gf!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OmHfBFEhxE

[WildEyedLiberal]

13. Hahaha excellent

RuPaul revels in the absurdity of the premise, which makes the song funny and not just painfully, embarassingly cutesy and "naughty."

A Merry early Christmas to you too dear!

[Connonym]

25. oh that's great!

I actually like some versions of the song But then again, I sorta thought the sex scene in Bad Santa was fun

[Heidi]

37. Is Bad Santa the one

with Billy Bob Thornton? I find him absolutely swoon-worthy.

[Connonym]

56. it is

[IntravenousDemilo]

52. You should hear my impression of the Eartha Kitt version.

It's eerie coming from a blond whiteboy's mouth. "Sannnnnnta Bay-beeeeee..."

[Indi Guy]

3. Anything done in MIDI that plays in department stores...

[gmoney]

4. The terminally ill are ALL about the stylish footwear.

It's the #2 thing on the "Make a Wish" Foundation list, right after #1: slapping the shit out of Kenney Chesney.

[JCMach1]

5. LOL!

That really is funny...

[PittPoliSci]

6. NOMINATIONS CLOSED

you win.

[tigereye]

46. hey stranger! How are ya?

[CreekDog]

7. Jingle Bells by Barbra Streisand (listen at the link)

It's horrid.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TgNSX5YzDSs

[Missy Vixen]

8. Oh, my GOD, I'm feeling you

That is the worst aural glurge I've ever heard. Ever. The local "soft rock" station plays it three times an hour from the week before Thanksgiving till Christmas Day, too.

It's awful. I want to jab my eardrum with an ice pick every time I've heard it on the radio.

Julie

[fizzgig]

10. that godsawful paul mccartney one

in fact that horrible, schlocky abomination plants itself firmly in my brain every time i see a thread like this

i'm going to go drive rusty nails in my ears and slam my head in the door repeatedly in a futile effort to get it to stop

[JCMach1]

16. Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time!

Arg! My niece was once in an Xmas kids pageant... they played it over and over for 3 farkin' hrs!

[Toasterlad]

59. You Are Correct, Sir!

And the second worst is John Lennon's "So This is Christmas". Who would have thought that two Beatles would be responsible for two of the worst songs of all time?

[Danger Mouse]

69. i've...always loved 'so this is christmas'...

and now you know my secret shame

[Toasterlad]

74. Admitting Your Problem Is the First Step to Recovery.

[Danger Mouse]

75. I admit nothing. I still like the song. Sorry =P

I'll listen to it right now. Just to defy you.

[Dervill Crow]

77. Really? I like that song. The Lennon one, not McCartney's. nt

[Kucinich4America]

14. Has Celine Dion ever made an Xmas record?

If so, that's it. I don't even have to listen to it to be sure.

[JCMach1]

17. Ditto for Mariah Carey

You can listen here http://www.amazon.com/Merry-Christmas-Mariah-Carey/dp/B...

but only if you are brave... I didn't get past the worst version of Silent Night I had ever heard.

[Missy Vixen]

36. I'm not a Celine Dion fan

but her recording of "Ave Maria" is on that CD. It's the best I've ever heard.

Of course, this is IMHO.
Julie

[FloridaJudy]

49. Here 'ya go

Just shoot me right now. There's still 27 more days of this crap to endure.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sHF7yx-zobM

[Kucinich4America]

15. And then there's always "Jingle Bells"

Specifically the Eminem version

[JCMach1]

18. Come on REC the thread to the greatest page so we can continue

the LIBRUL' attack on XMAS

[FloridaJudy]

50. Lounge recs don't count

Sad to say.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

19. Yes, that, or Barry Manilow's duet on "Baby, It's Cold Outside."

The "love" talk on that one single is atrocious.

[tigereye]

47. you need the Ella version of that WIMR - it's fun.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

54. I've heard it--it's really good.

It's not a bad song at all. Barry's version, however, is teh suxxorz.

[Frank Cannon]

20. Here's a link to Patton Oswalt's take on "Christmas Shoes"

Funny stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ysMpr8mNRM

[Pool Hall Ace]

26. Oh, I love Patton's take on it.

I also clicked on the link to Newsong's version. Dreadful.

I gave this thread a rec.

[gmoney]

44. Patton rocks

that's a pretty hilarious clip

[sandnsea]

82. rotflmao

I love Patton Oswalt, that was friggin' hilarious. Glad you posted it.

[Midlodemocrat]

21. It's not sung by Kenny Chesney, but by Christian rock group NewSong.

Hence the 'Jesus' theme.

[JCMach1]

29. Multiple murderers of that horrorshow

[gmoney]

53. there's a book AND a movie based on it...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330152 /

Yow...

[Tommy_Carcetti]

23. Any christmas song after 2 weeks

Congress should really make a law limiting the playing of Christmas songs to the week before Christmas. The worst thing about them is, there are hardly any new ones, so you'll inevitably get more and more tired of the same song exponentally, year after year.

[Mad_Dem_X]

24. YES

Worst Xmas song ever, one of the worst songs ever PERIOD.

[meegbear]

34. What Xmas song did YES do?

[Kucinich4America]

65. No doubt it was some metaphysical acid trip thing

I think the lyrics were something about how Santa Claus opened up his third eye and unleashed his chakras in time to find out that Rudolph was in reality an Ascended Master who was reincarnated as a reindeer with a neon nose. Rick Wakeman played a phenomenal jingle bell solo somewhere around 12 minutes into the song.

[Chovexani]

68. ROFL!

[meegbear]

71. Tales From Topographic Oceans is a Christmas record??1!?

[annonymous]

27. The Christmas Shoes song drives me crazy

I turn off the radio or change the station any time it comes on. It's overly sentimental crap designed to manipulate your emotions. I also hate I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. I find that song extremely irritating. The idea of Santa Claus as an object of sexual desire is disturbing to me.

[Rosie1223]

28. Any Xmas song sung by the Chipmunks

or just any song sung by the Chipmunks.

[Kucinich4America]

33. Try this one

http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/downloads/chipmunkv...

[Dr. Strange]

31. Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Hope you like crap:

[Fire Walk With Me]

35. What is the Worst XMen Song Ever?

So far as I know, Wolverine and Magneto have not (yet) done any musical numbers.

[Toasterlad]

60. You've Never Seen the Tonys.

[doc03]

38. Little Drummer Boy n/t

[HughBeaumont]

39. Happy X Mas (War is Over). Sung by ANYone.

GOD that is such a miserable downer of a tune. I liken it to the soundtrack of end-of-the-year memorial vignettes, where they have all the photos of those who died during the year. All I think of with that song are sick kids, relatives that passed away, coffins and sad endings.

I know how John Lennon is revered around here, but not everything that guy touched turned to gold, especially when his tone-deaf wife was involved in the recording. Same with Paul. You gotta love the two ex-Beatles and the one dumbfounding thing they share in common - having their tin-eared and musically untalented wives share their stage.

Runners up - I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayle Peavey. Yet another reason to hate the 50s.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Bruce Springsteen. Sung with all of the subtlety of a drunk at his favorite karaoke palace.

Any Christmas song sung by a diva, boy band or modern R&B group. Instant destruction.

[PVnRT]

40. ALL of them

[Quantess]

63. Around the 2nd or 3rd or 4th week of December,

ALL OF THEM!!! By Dec 22nd, I am practically on my knees, crying and begging for the xmas music to STOP!

[Felix Mala]

42. Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses

You mean you forgot cranberries, too???


Once a year is more than a month for me.

[IntravenousDemilo]

51. Jingle Bell Rock

It's not rock, it sounds nothing like Jingle Bells, and it makes my gorge rise every time I hear it. I absolutely refuse to sing it when I'm carolling.

[Arugula Latte]

55. I think I would plunge ice picks into my ear cavities if I ever heard that Kenny Chesney song.

Oh my gawd. Hard to imagine anything worse, and that's just from reading the lyrics.

[grace0418]

58. Oh dog, the song is actually worse than the lyrics. I know it doesn't seem possible

but it sucks beyond all measure of suckitude.

Not only is it the worst Christmas song ever, it may be the worst song PERIOD. It's truly that heinous. Complete with the gag-inducing children's choir at the end.

, , a thousand times

[grace0418]

57. That's EXACTLY the one I was going to post!! It's not just insipid and smarmy, but

it's also incredibly arrogant. This guy is basically writing a song to pat himself on the back for helping out that little boy. I don't think he's that much of a hero for giving the kid the money. If that were to happen in real life, I imagine just about anyone who had the dough would help the kid out. But not many of them would write a song about it just to congratulate themselves. Not to mention this guy is a successful musician so what's a $100 or so to him? Especially when he probably making tons of money exploiting his good deed.

If this story were real (though it's probably not), I would hope the guy would take the proceeds of the sale of this piece of shit that passes for a song and give it to the family of the boy.

is right.

[Dervill Crow]

79. Psssttttt -- it's not a true story.

It's a stupid story that I have read time and time again in stupid e-mails that instruct me that if I do not pass it on I am a worthless poor excuse for a human being.

I hate those damned e-mails.

[grace0418]

83. I assumed it wasn't. But I didn't want anyone saying "But, but... he REALLY did

help that kid!"

Actually, it's almost worse to write a song PAINTING yourself as a "hero" who buys the kid the shoes, now that I think about it.

[Toasterlad]

61. Agreed It's Terrible, But...

...I LOVE the message it teaches little children everywhere: Jesus will not enjoy meeting you if you're not dressed to impress.

[jmowreader]

64. "Everything" by Simple Plan

Trust me: this is FAR worse than "Christmas Shoes," which sucks massive donkey balls...

Santa is coming tonight
And I want a car
And I want a life
And I want a first class trip to Hawaii

I wanta lifetime supply
Of skittles and slurpees
And eskimo pies
I wanta DVD
A big screen TV
Just bring me things that I don't need

:Chorus:
'Cause now it's Christmas
And I want everything
I just can't wait
Christmas
So don't stop spending
I want a million gifts that's right
Don't forget my Christmas list tonight
'Cause now it's Christmas

Somebody take me away
Or give me a time machine to take me straight to midnight
I'll be alright
I wanna girl in my bed
Who knows what to do
A Playstation 2
I wanta shopping spree
In New York City
Just bring me things that I don't need

:Chorus:

I wish I could take this day
And make it last forever (I wish I could take)
And no matter what I get tonight, I want more

It's Christmas (It's Christmas) and I want everything
I just can't wait
It's Christmas (It's Christmas) and I want everything now

Christmas and I want everything
I just can't wait
Christmas so don't stop spending
I want a million gifts that's right
And I can't wait till midnight
Don't forget my Christmas list tonight (can't wait for Christmas)

'Cause now it's Christmas (can't wait for Christmas)
'Cause now it's Christmas (can't wait for Christmas)
'Cause now it's Christmas

[LostInAnomie]

66. A Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.

Followed VERY closely by Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano

I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart

[Teenager]

67. Jingle Bells

I abhor Jingle Bells.

On the flip side, I like the Christmas Shoes song, but I've never heard the Kenny Chesney version. :/

[Danger Mouse]

70. While this, and the steaming piece of shit that slid out of Paul McCartney's anus, are good picks...

I still say the Kenny G christmas album wins.

[southpaw]

72. Althought I've never heard them...

It's a safe bet that I would rank every track on this album among the worst:

[Iggo]

73. Oh, Dear God!

Don't scare me like that. (That's not real, is it?)

[Kucinich4America]

76. Sure it is.

Haven't you heard the single "Put my boot up the Three Wise Men's Asses (because they didn't buy Baby Jesus a Ford truck)"

[Dervill Crow]

78. Looking at that picture I'm reminded that the letters in Santa also spell Satan.

I never in a million years thought I would have an opportunity to use that line.

[ironflange]

80. I've been listening to Special Xmas on XM

Where they find some of this stuff is beyond me, though most of it is deliberately bad. They do throw in the odd bit of glurge, though Christmas Shoes hasn't been one, thank God. There's one I heard, however, called "The Old Christmas Truck," that made me want to stop the car and bend over in the ditch for a while.

[JI7]

81. the song you posted is the exact one i thought of

when i read the subject line. but i didn't know who it was from. i heard it like 2 times this Christmas. i was kind of wondering if it was a parody the first time i heard it.

the song is just gross. makes me feel like shooting myself when i hear it.

[badgerpup]

84. Here's one that'll oughta put this thread on the DUzy list...

I Came Upon A Road-Killed Deer
(sung to the tune of "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbdoivHOYGg&feature=rela...

First time I heard it I was driving...had to pull over, I was laughing so hard.