I washed my sheets tonight and found tortellini on the mattress under the sheets.

[Omphaloskepsis]

The tortellini looks old. Maybe a few weeks old. I haven't had tortellini in years.. Is my girlfriend cheating on me? Fancy pasta in my bed with some other dude. I'm getting pissed, I need to call her and sort this out.

[yewberry]

1. You know, I've been in GD and GDP for a few hours

and your post is easily the most disturbing thing I've read tonight.

I have no idea of how to respond to your tortellini incident.

I'm sorry.

[zanne]

2. What are you two doing in there? nt

[Omphaloskepsis]

3. The question is....

Why the fuck is there tortellini under my sheets? I didn't help it get there.

[Heidi]

4. We had tortellini for dinner last night.

I will speak with Call Me Wesley about this matter at once. ;)

[Pale Blue Dot]

5. The important thing is to obsess over it.

Let your paranoia build into a slow-burning anger. Make sure you let it effect everything you do. That way it can tear you up inside and eventually drive a deep and lasting wedge between the two of you.

Or, you could ask her, "Hey, any idea how this tortellini made it into the bed?"

:eyes:

[Orsino]

6. You're doing something very wrong...

...or very right. I'm not sure which. :D

[Frosty1]

7. Sounds like a mouse

may be in your house.:hi:

[rug]

8. If it was fusilli I'd be very concerned.

[mzteris]

9. do you have any roommates?

other people who have - or "used to have" - keys to your place?

Does your gf live with you? if she doesn't why would she take a guy to your place?

Can you remember when you did last change the sheets?

had you been traveling and it was stuck to your suitcase that you threw on the unmade bed ?

or maybe the tortellini was in someone else's wash and got stuck to YOUR sheet when you washed it. . .

[RetroLounge]

10. The important question:

Was there any stray Alfredo Sauce?

:shrug:

RL