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something that made me sad (its kinda long and boring and you dont have to read it)

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:13 PM
Original message
something that made me sad (its kinda long and boring and you dont have to read it)
Edited on Tue Nov-20-07 02:15 PM by lionesspriyanka
so i have this friend. we have been close for over 15 years. for most of these 15 years, i have had more money than her. better places to live etc. this has never been a problem for us in the past.

well now the tables have somewhat turned. i am in grad school and dont want to pay a heap for my apt. anyhow she is in town and spent a few days with me in my apt. now her 'bf/boss' is in town with her and they are looking to stay somewhere tonight. however she made it very clear that my place is not good enough for him, since he has to stay in manhattan etc. so they are staying with some wealthier friends of ours.

anyhow it bothers me.

thats all.

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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
1. yeah -- considering she has stayed with you
in the ''new'' circumstances. -- it would bother me too.

whenever i visit friends -- things like this are why i always stay at a motel.
it's nice to see my friends -- it's nice to be close after an absence -- but i know to keep just a little distance so that things stay ok.

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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. its like my place isnt good enough for her new bf
i guess life happens.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. that's what i get too.
it would bother me as well.

our places aren't always ''grand'' -- but can't they deal with it for a minute?

i mean i get it -- but -- it's -- sad -- exactly like you said -- and she already stayed there once.

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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:21 PM
Response to Original message
3. That is kind of sad.
:(

Does she not want her bf/boss to see what a brooklyn walk-up looks like? :shrug:

I like staying with people instead of staying in hotels, but that's just me.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. you have been to my apt. i now hate it.
and i think this is what brought it on. :cry:
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. I'm very sorry.
:hug:

It's a small place, but other that there's definitely nothing wrong with it. In NYC almost everyone lives in small places.

I hope you don't let her choice stress you out too much.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #4
27. Pri, you don't need to do that
I think I know how you feel almost four years ago, I moved from a kinda nice four-bedroom house to a mobile home, and I've since had this feeling that some people I know might pass judgement on me based on that. But my better angels know that what makes my house special is that I live in it or, that's what should make it special to them, if they're truly my friends.

If you've been friends with this woman for 15 years, there's obviously a lot of good in her, but she's apparently afraid to tell this bozo that his standards suck. That means he's her problem, not you or your house, and I'm betting that she'll eventually realize this and kick him to the curb. That'll be her way of apologizing to you for being his agent of nastiness, and then you can celebrate your loveable selves no matter where you are.

Trust me anyone who knows you wouldn't give a rat's ass if you and Rockit lived in a tent, because you're in it.

:hug:

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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
5. She could have at least said they were looking for a
hotel so they could have loud, raucous sex instead of hurting your feelings....

:hug:

I would rather stay with a friend than in a hotel anyday.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:23 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. she has been staying at my place.
but its just not good enough for the boy
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. you've said that twice now -- is she someone who gets very different
when they get in a relationship?

i have a friend -- someone i love very much -- but she has a good deal less -- time, patience, etc -- with me when is in a relationship.
after many years -- i know what to expect now -- but in the old days it used to bother me -- as she leaned on me quite a bit in between.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. she is very submissive to her men. historically they have also been crappy
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. i wondered -- well -- that does make some sense.
doesn't make it better -- just fits with the picture.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. yeah it certainly fits.
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malta blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:54 PM
Response to Reply #7
20. I'm sorry Pri.
:hug:

It't too bad that she feels she has to change for the boy.

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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:23 PM
Response to Original message
6. don't lose sleep over it
it's not worth it. some people are just not grateful for help they receive.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. 15 years of friendship wont be undone over this but i still feel shitty
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
11. she didn't say it wasn't good enough for her
but she could have been a lot more diplomatic about his tastes. That wasn't very considerate of her.

I'm sorry you're hurt.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:31 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. i am more hurt because i would NEVER have done this to her or anyone else
when our monetary situations were reversed, i have never made her feel inadequate in anyways.
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #13
22. even if you had a picky ass girlfriend/boyfriend
you wouldn't have done it to please them if they were prissy like that? maybe she was pre-empting an uncomfortable situation of him whining and being nasty about it all, which might be a GOOD thing(for her to chose elsewhere). sounds like she had to chose pissing you off or pissing him off. hmmm.

I would stay at your apt anytime overnight and tell my partner if i had one they could stay elsewhere by themselves! Bailey and I got along. :loveya:
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. thank you babe.
Edited on Tue Nov-20-07 03:06 PM by lionesspriyanka
:loveya:

i would cook for you too. if you ever feel like hopping by let me know.

on edit: if i had a prissy ass gf they would know that somethings are not negotiable to me. she is one of those things.
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jonnyblitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 03:09 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. i'll come camp out after the holidays. I want to visit with thomcat
also. i lay low from now til jan 2, not my favorite time of year. BAH HUMBUG!! :hi: :hug:
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
14. Their loss
If they would rather stay in a hotel than spend time with interesting people then they are the ones losing out.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. not staying in hotel, staying with richer friends.
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seemunkee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. You don't measure friends by the size of their bank account
But by their heart. I still say its their loss.
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
21. Your friend has strange priorities.
nt


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Phillycat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 03:01 PM
Response to Original message
24. Is your place really tiny?
Unless she came right out and said that your place isn't nice enough for her new BF, then maybe you're reading too much into it? The wealthier friends might have more space to put them up, so they don't feel on top of you? Just trying to maybe see both sides...
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. its small but not for a night. if this was a two week situation, then i would understand.
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