Do you assume the other gender behaves completely differently to yours?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

the recent posts in the lounge about "how do you know if a girl likes blah blah blah" or "what to do with a girl in this situation" are a little confusing to me.

having dated in both genders, i dont find the difference between genders nearly as large as within gender. (i find two men can vary more from each other, than men as a group or women as a group)

so do you assume a girl will react very differently to the same situation as a boy? or vice versa?

sorry if my op doesnt make sense. i didnt get ANY sleep yesterday.

[MissMillie]

1. I think it makes sense

and I think that it's nice for you that you've had the opportunity to observe both genders in that kind of setting.

I'm not attracted to women, so I probably won't have that opportunity.

As for how men behave... I manage to choose only men who behave badly, so I guess I do start out with an unfair assumption right out of the gate.

I only wish that I had experienced a broader range of behavior from men. Maybe I wouldn't be so distrustful.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. ...

:hug:

[IndianaJones]

2. I make that assumption. nt.

[Breeze54]

3. They are like night and day,

at times. That's been my experience anyway.

[Freedom Knight]

15. Yet, there are times when night and day come together. n/t

[kwassa]

4. Not always, but often.

Sometimes we are alike, sometimes we are different.

[redqueen]

6. I don't assume it, no...

but I've been repeatedly told that this is the case.

I don't quite understand any of it... so... :P

[rug]

7. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out my cats.

[Crazy Dave]

8. I think it's more of an individual thing....

...a person by person basis, etc. Some people act on their emotions, others use common sense. I'd have to say that gender plays a very small or insignificant factor, if any at all.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. thats what i think. i think women are encourage to be more open

whereas boys are taught early that boys dont cry.

[Gormy Cuss]

12. That's a core issue.

When I was young I thought that men and women did behave pretty much the same. I kept having this disproved. I think that cultural differences in treatment of children by gender do play a large role in communications, emotional expressions, and approaches to relationships. There may also be a strong biological difference but we'll never know unless as a culture we stop assuming that all of the differences are hard-coded and not cultural.

[One_Life_To_Give]

10. It Depends

Your right that the total deviation within a gender is usually larger than the deviation between the mean and/or mode of each gender. However our differences in biology, brain function/usage and hormones can cause us to approach situations differently.

Men lacking Estrogen will never understand the degree Emotions can affect a woman. As well as since emotions in men a processed in an area seperate from word/language be able to communicate emotions in the same way. On the other hand Women's much lower testosterone level means they will never understand rage in the same way as men.

[XemaSab]

11. Yes.

Men are very different creatures with regards to feelings, expectations, etc.

[DarkTirade]

13. Well, since I don't act like my own gender... :P

[yoyossarian]

14. Indeed I do...

...and I enjoy the interplay of opposites...

But some men are very fem, and some women are very masculine, and some boys will be girls and vice versa...

There are many, many types of animal in the jungle... but I think that the basic archetypes still apply... as markers of characteristics, if nothing else.
Feminine as softer, rounder, more delicate, more nurturing and yielding... masculine as harder, rougher, more aggressive and unyielding...

Both are amazingly complicated, and both have a hard time understanding one another...

Which is why, I think, you see so many of those sorts of postings... it's just people trying to understand one another, as I see it.


On the other hand, Cheney-Dog says:


ALL HUMANS MAKE GOOD FOOD! GO @%#&#!@ YOURSELF! ARF!

T-shirts, mugs, buttons n' cards at http://cafepress.com/laughcity">Laugh City

http://steponnopets.com/peo">President Evil Online has risen from the grave!

[SarahB]

16. No

I don't get it either. I think a lot of people tend to view the opposite gender from an antagonistic point of view as though they are somehow a victim of the opposite gender on some global level negating the individuality of another person based upon gender. I've seen it from from both genders. People are just people, not their sex organs.

[SacredCow]

17. Yeah, to a great extent I take that position....

But it's mostly a visceral reaction to the hell-on-earth that my ex-wife drug me through. For a time, I was downright misogynistic and I still sometimes bristle when women in my life (mom and sister) give me unwanted advice, as if they're trying to tell me how to live my life. Well, OK- Mom DOES try to tell me how to live my life, so that's a justified feeling!

So yeah- I very often feel that women and men think and react very differently. I can't really defend it, nor will I try. I suppose it's all a matter of personal experiences.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

18. Yes, I give women the benefit of the doubt.

:P

[Fire Walk With Me]

19. I find that I attract people who are similar to myself.

Which is why I'm doing all of this work on myself, and not dating until I know that things have changed where they matter.

Thanks for your level-headed perspective.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. i think we also end up dating people who will value us the way we value ourselves

so if you think you are sexy and smart and nice, its more likely that your dates will think so too, and treat you in that way.

atleast i have noticed this in my life.

[Fire Walk With Me]

23. Exactly, the mirror effect.

If you are happy, you will attract happy people and situations.

I'm working on being happy (addiction being the hurdle). I've been in that happiness zone before and am seeking it again, as I'm very aware of how smoothly and wonderfully life works in that place.

[BarenakedLady]

20. Men are weird

:hide:




I'm weird too, just a different kind of weird.

[Withywindle]

22. No, not at all.

But I can be kind of self-absorbed. I tend to assume everyone is just like me until proven otherwise. :evilgrin:

Sometimes I feel like my OWN gender (women) have a whole lot of weird little social codes that no one ever explained to me. So sometimes I feel very alienated in all-female groups in a way I don't in an evenly-mixed group, or even situations where I'm the only woman in a bunch of guys. But this is a matter of group dynamics, not individual behaviors, usually. Generally, I think people are people first, and men or women second--there's a lot more variation between individuals than there is between MEN and WOMEN as some kind of monolithic mass.

[xchrom]

24. i live and die by the old saying ''viva la difference'' -- or something like that.

i always hope we are all different.

i find sameness a kind of tragedy.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. hi you!!!!!!!

:hi:

its nice to 'see' you again. :bounce:

[IronLionZion]

26. yes I do think women are mythical creatures

who have complicated thought processes and tend to be very non-verbal about it. I think women like to keep us guessing.

But you are right about the variance between people of the same gender because my girlfriend is not like that at all. She is a sensible and plainspoken woman who always tells me what's on her mind. That's why I love her.