Pig

[MonkeyFunk]

[DS1]

1. what cute little pumps !

[quip]

2. the Sixties just called and they

want their slang back.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. moi?

[madinmaryland]

4. This pig?

[madinmaryland]

5. Here's a joke about a pig..

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road. Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer.

They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed like hours. When the chauffeur came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his driver had been in there so long.
"Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." explained the driver.

"What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.

The chauffeur replied, "I told him I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig."

[MonkeyFunk]

6. I don't have the energy to type out the best pig joke ever....

but the punchline is "A pig like that, ya don't eat all at once!"

[Dr. Strange]

7. This one?

So the man notices a three-legged pig in the farmyard and mentions to the farmer, "I see you also raise three-legged pigs."

"Nope," replies the farmer, "That there pig is a family pet and he's really smart. We've taught him all kinds of tricks, like 'Roll Over,' 'Sit' and 'Fetch.' As to that last trick, ah kin be sittin' on our front pouch and when the weekly newspaper comes, ah jest tells the pig to 'Fetch' and he goes gits the paper and brings it to me."

"Wow!" exclaims the man. "That pig sure is smart."

"Not only is he smart, but he's somethin' of a hero," the farmer tells him.

"What do you mean a 'hero?'" asks the man.

"Well," says the farmer. "That there pig, being the family pet, sleeps at the foot of our bed. One night when we were all sleepin', a fire breaks out in our farmhouse. The pig started squealin' and fussin' and wakes us all up so we were able to git out of the house."

"That's truly astounding," says the man. "It's unbelievable."

"But you ain't heard the whole story," the farmer replies. "We all git out of the fire that night except my baby girl. That wonderful pig went back in the burning farmhouse and dragged the little one to safety and saved her life."

"And the pig lost his leg because it was burned in the fire?" asks the man.

"Well, not exactly," answered the farmer. "Ya' see, a pig like that, one that is so smart, so heroic, so valuable. You don't eat a pig like that all at once!