Favorite non political SnL skit

[Gadave]

"I have a fever, and the only prescription is more cow bell"!

thats mine

[Gadave]

1. I should explain it more

In retrospect I realize many people may not know which one I am talking about. Its the skit where they recreate the record of "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. The producer played by Christopher Walkin wanted them to increase the cow bell. Now every time I hear that song, the cow bell is all I hear.

[Delarage]

7. I have the fever, too.

That was a classic. My favorite fake ad, though, was the Electronic Nativity Scene......where the soothing sounds of the Christ Child will serenade you all night.

[Mass_Liberal]

38. thats my favorite too

"no, no, no baby. Ah need more cow bell. Lemme hear that cow bell, baby.

[waterman]

2. Massive Headwound Harry

Where Dany Carvey comes to a party with a huge gaping wound on his head and grosses everyone out (including the audience). Then he lays down (on the white couch) and a golden retriever comes over and licks the wound (probably a steak), and starts yanking on it. Then Carvey says, "I think he smells my dog". It was priceless I tell ya!

[Gadave]

3. I forgot about that one

That too was classic

[Kamika]

4. The clay guy Mr.Bill

He was hillarious.. poor guy always had bad stuff happen to him. "OOOOOOOO"


And then he had that black clay guy who was a sadist or something Mr. Brutus or something.. lol

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. Oh Nooooo!! It's Mr. Sluggo!

*splat*

I loved Mr. Bill, too!

And "really bad theater"

[lovedems]

5. "Schweaty Balls" with Alec Baldwin

and next week Mr. Schweaty will be back to talk about his weiners!

Edit: I like the Sally O'Malley skits as well. Kick!

[Capn Sunshine]

24. "Canteen Boy"

with Alec Baldwin and Adam Sandler.

very close second favorite of mine

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

27. i love that skit

soo funny

[kclown]

6. No contest: Heather Locklear mime skit in bar

In which she and I forget which guy do pantomime
can-you-top-this stunts, ending in drinking a bottle of
poison.

She went from dumb blonde to brilliant actress IMO in about 3
mins.

[ComerPerro]

48. I also like the one on her show with the Pasta Maker

With Mike Meyers.

She is the host of a "amazing products" informercial, and Mike Meyers is the inventor of a Pasta Maker. Heather Locklear keeps making terribly offensive comments, and people keep calling in to yell at her as Meyers gets more and more nervous.

"And trust me, this isn't just some big scam, like the Holocaust".

Offensive, but funny becuase she had great delivery.

[ComerPerro]

49. Jimmy Tango's Fatbusters

Starring Jim Carey as Jimmy Tango, the man who discovered the secret to weight loss (crystal meth).

[fudge stripe cookays]

8. "Let's let Toonces drive!"

He drives around, all over the town...
Toonces the driving cat!

[Blue-Jay]

9. Old Glory Insurance

Still one of my favorites. Here's the transcript:

Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.

< cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser >

Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. < SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years > You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time. < show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% > And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. < SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. > Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.

[Exultant Democracy]

18. Hell yeah, that is in my number one spot too,

followed by "Shirt in a Can," and "Monkey Bathroom Cleaner."

[bigwillq]

10. "Oops I crapped my pants"--A commerical

It was fucking funny.

[Capn Sunshine]

11. Bass-o-Matic

mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm that's good bass!

[Bertha Venation]

14. Yep. Bass-O-Matic '76.

Loved that one.

[Whitacre D_WI]

12. Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood.

"What's Black and Puerto Rican and has my eyes? It's today's new word, boys and girls!"



(edit: added photo)

[youngred]

13. Celebrity Jeopardy

absolutely without question the best

[Blue-Jay]

16. I'll take "Anal Bum Cover" for 200, Alexsh.

:D

[youngred]

17. I'll Take the Penis Mightier

That's the Pen is mightier

[Capn Sunshine]

22. "The Rapists" for 200, Alex

That's "Therapists" Sean....

[BigMcLargehuge]

23. I'll take swords for 500 Alexsh...

That's S-Words Mr. Connery... Words that begin with the letter S...

[Mass_Liberal]

39. I'll take

swordsh. Umm, thats "S-words", not swords.

[Mass_Liberal]

40. This color

ends in urple. Hilary Swank? "umm, what is light urple?"

[solinvictus]

50. Hillary Swank

"I am a girl".

[lazarus]

15. Cowbell

Funniest skit they ever did.

[DODI]

19. The Game Show Comedy Killers and

Paul Simon in the turkey suit singing "Still Crazy after All These Years"

[camero]

20. Cheesebooger Cheesebooger

Belushi and Akroyd

[BigMcLargehuge]

21. Now it's time for another visit with... The Continental.

Would you like some cham-pag-neee and ca-wee-arrrrre?

[beawr]

57. Walken is always GREAT on SNL

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

25. Blue Oyster Cult

and Shweaty Balls, with Alec Baldwin

[gator_in_Ontario]

26. What about your uvula? (Gilda Radner)

or doug and wendy whiner....

[Rooktoven]

28. Jane, you ignorant slut!

"I guess what you girls are saying is that when you're on your backs the meter is running. So let us know the rates girls, so we know which cheap barain basement tramps to shack up with..."

[ThoughtCriminal]

29. Theodoric of York, Medieval Doctor

With Steve Martin. Non-political, but I think of this everytime republicans call for tax cuts.

"You look like you could use a good bleeding"

On edit:
Oh, and since some of us go wayyyy back. I was also fond of the underated muppet sketchs from 75-76. Remember Ploobis, Scred, The Mighty Favog and Queen Peuta from the Land of Gorch?

[YellowRubberDuckie]

30. Interbank Traveler's Checks...

It's a toss up between that, Mary Katherine Gallagher, The Spartans, and the Cherie O'Teri skit where she's an old woman going to the pharmacy with prescriptions for Cocaine and several barbituates, hallucinagenics,etc...
Duckie

[JohnKleeb]

31. Morning Latte

"I cant vote because I got heptatis"
"Yeah Rock my cervix is the size of a circus peanut"

[southerngirlwriter]

33. Mine's a Stuart Smalley one.

The special guest is Michael Jordan. (This isn't verbatim, but you get the gist of it).

"We'll call him Michael J., to protect his anonymity. Now, Michael, let's talk about how affirmations could help you. You see, I know that sometimes you must worry about your career. You must think, 'when I go out on the floor tonight, no one will cheer for me. No one loves me! They'll boo!'"

Michael J., trying not to laugh: "Uh, no. Not really."

Stuart gives Michael a suspicious look.

"All of us think we're not good enough at times. You probably catch yourself worrying sometimes, 'What if I don't make any baskets tonight? What if I'm a big failure'?"

Michael J., opening laughing: "N-No. No, I don't worry about that."

This goes back and forth a little more, and then Stuart says, "Now, Michael! Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!"

I have rarely laughed so hard. It was great. :-)

[kath]

34. Rabbi doing a circumcision in the back of a luxury car with a

really smooth ride. Hilarious!

[CanuckAmok]

35. E. Buzz Miller's Guide to Art.

"Here's a pretty decent picture of a naked lady on a couch. And get this...they guy who painted it? His name's "tit-ian!"

[Love Bug]

36. Landshark

"Candygram!"

[liberalhistorian]

37. For me, it's a tie between

"Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist", with (who else?) Mel Gibson and John Lovitz, and "Dysfunctional Family Feud", with Christian Slater, Chris Farley, Victoria Jackson, Kevin Nealon and the rest of the gang! Priceless, both of them!

[TXlib]

41. Al Gore as Willie Wonka's brother, the accountant.

"We're Oompah-Loompah-Doopity screwed."

[Lisa]

44. "What the hell is a 'snozzberry'?"

And from the earlier episodes -- Phil Hartman's "Caveman Lawyer"

[EstimatedProphet]

42. Jesse Jackson reading "Green Eggs and Ham"

Kills me every time I see it!

[beawr]

56. That was a Magnificent Tribute to Dr. Seuss

They did that one right after his passing and I thought it was one of their best moments - a respectful, yet VERY funny bit.

[Doc_Technical]

43. The Coneheads

on Jeopardy,

"Name something people like to bite?"

[Rooktoven]

46. Chicken Neck! --nt

[peekaloo]

54. lol....The Big One

btw, it was Family Feud.....Bill Murray doing a great, smarmy Dawson.

[kodi]

45. paul simon singing 'still crazy after all these years' in a turkey suit

very first thanksgiving show.

second would be john belushi and peter boyle in "dueling brandos"

[bubblesby2002]

47. The Frightened Family

:scared: :scared: John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Jane Curtin every time any thing happened at all - like the doorbell ringing - everybody's hair would raise up and they would all shake. I don't know why but it would send me into paroxysms of giggles.

[solinvictus]

51. " I live in a van down by the river!!!"

RIP Chris Farley.

[DiverDave]

52. Jon Belushi

The samurai taylor...fitting a pair of pants for buck henry.
JB"gobbledegook (his take on Japanese)"
Buck Henry "right side" Man, I howled when I saw that.
ANY of the samurai skits.

[Odessey]

53. 70's skits

Landshark

[beawr]

55. Two Wilid and Crazy guys