My kitty might be very ill right now

[hyphenate]

I think it was about a month or go I had asked if anyone was familiar with why Delenn (one of my 12 year olds) was drooling so much and rubbing her jaw so often.

Since then, about two weeks ago, I noticed something awful--she's got a huge mass on her tongue that I think is a tumor. It's difficult for her to wash herself, and I finally figured out why she was losing weight, probably because the hard food was bothering her and hard to take.

Well, next week I've got a vet appointment for her. It's difficult for me because I have a fixed income, but you know, you just will try anything for your "kids" and she's one of mine. My sister was cruel to me last night on the subject by saying, well hell, if it's cancer, why don't you just put her out of her misery!

I cried. And I still cry thinking about it. Perhaps I'm TOO sensitive about it, but shit, I've lost so much in the past four and a half years, losing two kits to being lost, two more to illness, my best friend, a dear friend's mother (to whom I was close) and the loss of another close friendship. And add on top of that how my own health is failing, and the permanent consequences dealing with that crap, and it's enough to make me want to go and find a bridge to jump off. (Except it would mean walking or something, and I can't do much of that, regardless) I feel so guilty in the loss of all the kits for one reason or another, even if someone tells me I'm not to blame, there is a part of me that claims responsibility regardless.

And so tonight I'm just not feeling mighty good about anything, and just wish there was consolation, and I know there isn't. (Sort of why I went to a therapist, only to be told there IS no "happy place" in reality) The worst fear I have is that there won't be any other choice than to let her go if I can't afford to do anything about it. It's unfortunately one of the things about life that makes it suck pondwater, you know? :shrug:

I wish life were a little simpler, but them's the breaks, right? I'm afraid I'm just overwhelmed right now and am having a hard time dealing with the harsh reality that I'm going to lose another furkit soon. :(

[bicentennial_baby]

1. Oh you...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[hyphenate]

23. Thanks

Hugs are a good thing. :)

[VLC]

2. You're not being too sensitive, your sister is incredibly insensitive

A "friend" once told me I should put down one of my dogs because she got into a fight with another dog! Instead I got her training and we've been happy for 4 years since then.

This cat is your friend. Of course you'll do whatever you can for her.

Here's a list of places that help with vet bills. I don't know if your cat will qualify for any or how good these places are, but if you need it, maybe one will help.

http://www.animalconnectiontx.org/home/FinanList.pdf

Good luck to both of you.

[hyphenate]

26. Thanks for the link!

I'll check into it.

[redqueen]

3. Aww...

There IS a happy place, even if it's only in your imagination.

I'm so sorry for your poor kitty... and for your other recent losses... things will turn around though, they always do. Okay, maybe not always, but usually.

Good luck hun!

:pals:

[hyphenate]

33. Thanks

I really appreciate your support and thoughts. :)

[begin_within]

4. My cat had a very similar problem

He had a tumor in the bottom of his mouth and the vet explained to me that it was incurable and untreatable. After a while he could only eat with great difficulty and even then he couldn't get enough in. Finally I was ready to have him euthanized but it was the day before Christmas in 2002 and the vet said to me that in her opinion it wasn't at the point where it was cruel to let him go on. So I waited until 3 days after Christmas to do it, but in retrospect I should have done it sooner than later. If the vet says that it's incurable, then it's only going to be a downward slide as they slowly starve. It becomes necessary to stop it by euthanizing them and thereby set them free from it. I hope this is not the case with your cat. I don't believe in expensive treatments that may only prolong their life by a few weeks or months. The tests and treatments are just another ordeal for the cat, which they do not deserve to go through. It is extremely painful and heartbreaking to let them go, and with all the other losses you have suffered in the last 4 1/2 years, that's the last thing you need. But it would also be painful to see the cat suffer additionally by not doing it. I have seen cases where the pet owner couldn't bring themselves to euthanize the pet and thereby caused the pet to suffer even more and longer. It's important to cry it out, and the crying is simply a symptom of how much you love your pets. They are just as important as humans and even better in some ways, because their love is so pure and unconditional. You don't need to feel any blame or guilt or responsiblity whatsoever, because you have been a good owner to all of them and they are all very lucky to have you for their owner.

[yellowdogintexas]

13. one of mine had something similar, and she never showed any

symptoms, or difficulty (she sure wasn't losing weight!) then one day she had a seizure, hubby took her to the vet and there was this huge mass in her throat which apparantly had spread into her neurological system thus triggering the seizure. He had her put down same day, just couldn't bear to think of her having seizures over and over until she died. She spent a lot of time outdoors, lounging under the hedges watching the birds, no telling how many of those she may have already had before we actually witnessed one. Poor kitty we had her 13 years.

[begin_within]

15. Sorry to hear it. You did the right thing.

[BrklynLiberal]

17. I also went thru the same thing. My little girl had a tumor just inside her mouth

She could not groom herself, and she could not eat properly.
It was agonizingly painful, but I had to let her go...it was done out of love for her.
As you said, crying is the best thing to do..there is no other choice.
Tears and time are the only things that help make the pain bearable.
I agree that letting her go on too long might be the crueler choice.

I hope that somehow this baby survives, but if the diagnosis is confirmed, it is the loving thing to do...end her suffering. Be there and hold her, and let her know you love her..but let her go..
:cry: :grouphug:

[hyphenate]

32. I've had to go through that too many times now, lately

It seems. That's why it's so overwhelming to me. When I let Jessica go last year, I was heartbroken. And Delenn (I call her the "little one") is only 12.

I know that their lifespan is so much shorter than my own, and I've resigned myself to that, it's just that I thought I had a couple of years for the eldest of them to go right away.

But as anyone who has furkits knows, we go through these things so often that it's not fair.

[zonkers]

5. Might be treatable, who knows. Is kitty eating at all? Drinking? I jjust been

through every emotion with my dog/hospital visits. I hope you have a vet you like and trust.

[hyphenate]

34. She is eating

all right--in fact, too much. Reminds me of how my Jessica was when the diabetes got to its worse--she was eating non-stop. She just walks around the house crying all the time. :(

[idgiehkt]

6. I am so sorry

It is always hard. I just had one put down today, he was FeLV positive and suddenly the bottom fell out with his health about 2 weeks ago. I have never had an animal deteriorate that quickly. Another FeLV positive cat here just threw up in the floor from her thyroid medicine I gave her about a half an hour ago. She has no leukemia symptoms but she lost almost all her body fat from hyperthyroid. It is so hard when you are on a budget because veterinary bills can add up quickly. I'm so sorry you are going through this, the vets I used to work for always used to say it's the quality of life, not the quantity, and pets that have been given a good quality of life are incredibly fortunate, because statistically it is rare, most dogs and cats don't even make it past their first birthday.

[hyphenate]

35. I make a committment

with my animals--they are my children until they die. Unfortunately, the lifespan of a cat depends on far too many variables--with all the care and attention mine get, the oldest one has lived to 17 1/2; my mom's oldest, an indoor/outdoor cat with very few vet bills, is now 23 1/2. It's difficult to us to reconcile all the shit we go through with these guys because we love them unconditionally, but we have to try.

[Suich]

7. I'm really sorry...

anything I can do? PM me, ok?

:hi:

[hyphenate]

36. Thanks!

I PM'ed you. :)

[Heidi]

8. hyphenate,

I'm gonna light a white candle for Delenn and you. :hug: :hug:

[hyphenate]

37. Thank you

for your help. The white light is comforting. I haven't been able to meditate for so long it's pathetic. Maybe I'll be able to do it soon again.

[stuntcat]

9. :kitty hug:

:hug: I hope it's something easy to take care of. But even if it isn't, well just think of the happy cat-life she spent with you. If you can help her to Peace then try not to feel bad about it.
It sounds to me like you've done a great job just caring about the kitties, lots of them don't get any love and care at all :hug:

[hyphenate]

38. I'm with you on that

I only wish I were able to take every homeless kitty and take them in, and I know I can't. I can only hope that I can make a difference for some.

I read an anecdote not that long ago where a man encountered a young girl at the beach who was throwing jellyfish back into the ocean. The man told her that she could never save them all, and that she couldn't make a difference. She kept throwing them back into the water while he was telling her this. And she turned to him after he spoke and after she threw yet another one back into the ocean, and she said, "it made a difference to that one, didn't it?"

That's all we can hope for--to change the life of even one makes all the difference in the world.

[Haole Girl]

10. Oh my...

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this... with all you've been through in the past 4 and 1/2 years. Please be sure to speak up... let the vet know your circumstances. I lived with a veterinarian for 2 years, once, and I know they can sometimes work things out. Sometimes not... but it doesn't hurt to ask.

I hope it turns out to be something minor. Please keep us updated, if you can, okay?

Many hugs for you and kitty... :hug: :hug: :hug:

[hyphenate]

39. It's rough sometimes

and we can only keep doing it, despite how hard it is. If we didn't, I don't think many of us could live with ourselves.

[Roon]

11. I had to put two kitties down within months of each other

Dolly had cancer in her kidney. Piggy was so distraught about the break up my lover and i had, he quit eating. Piggy's liver quit working and he was blind by the time we put him down.I know it might sound weird, but a vet tech told us both times...."they always come back"

[yellowdogintexas]

12. same here, both were getting on in years, and dang we never want

to let them go, even though it is for the best. I believe they come back , I am certain one of my current cats is channeling my ancient Scamper.

my condolences to the original poster, may your sweet kitty and YOU find peace

[hyphenate]

41. I keep looking at mine

trying to figure out who they're the reincanration of! Oliver, currently the youngest, came to me when my friend's mother passed away--I took in Ollie as a result. He's 5, but he reminds me of my Kira who I lost in 2003, though he's too old to be a reincarnation of her. I think more and more that he's the avatar og my Alyn, who I lost in 1993--ten years ago, because he has so many of her traits.

We learn from our kits, I think--to see emotion in them, to see them with personalities and downright human traits is astonishing--I can't understand how some people can't see that in them--that they are thinking and living in ways that we can never quite understand.

When my Sandi left me in 1993, my Jessica was about 2, and it was astonishing to see how devastated she was with Sandi's death. The vet had to give her some valium to cope for several months she was so distraught. How can people be cruel to any animal that can show loyalty, love and compassion toward another animal? Surprisingly, I think humans often have far less going for them than the animals that they criticize.

[kryckis]

14. I'm really sorry..

I understand your feelings exactly. Around 4 years ago my cat started acting strange (no eating, drooling, aggression) and I took him to a vet. Basically he had a tumor in his jaw that had also spread in his mouth. The vet said he could probably function with steroids for a couple of months but he would gradually starve to death after that (we were urged to take him back when he couldn't eat anymore). I was beyond myself with panic and grief. I grew up with the damn cat. He's my best friend. Fortunately we decided to let him stay alive for as long as he was free from pain, and he is still alive and well today - 16 years old.

We've had some difficult times when I've thought he wasn't gonna bounce back, but he has proved to be incredibly resilient.


I really hope you experience what I have. Cats are incredible animals capable of unbelievable healing.

I wish you both the best.

[hyphenate]

42. Thank you

All I can do now is hope for the best, and if I don't get it, then to hope that Delenn never has to feel the worst pain. I won't let that happen to her. At least, I'll do everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen.

[Tian Zhuangzhuang]

16. Nothing but love.

:grouphug:

[hyphenate]

43. Thanks.

:hug:

[BrklynLiberal]

18. Not your fault. You cannot control everything. You have provided a wonderful, loving home for this

baby...and the final act of love just might be to let her go.
I have been there, and done that. It is agony.
Cry your eyes out..it is the only thing to do, but if it is an incurable tumor and she cannot eat and groom herself, your final act of love would be to hold her close, let her know you love her, and let her go to a more peaceful, painless place.
It is worse to regret having held on to her too long...:grouphug: :cry:

[hyphenate]

44. Been there, don't that

Way too many times already. Animals renew my faith in life far more than some people ever will. They are more selfless and humble than many people are, and I always think about that. It seems appropriate to know that the kits I've known are in many ways more deserving of my love, attention and admiration than many politicians I know.

[Kajsa]

19. I'm so sorry, hyphenate.

I've been there and it's very tough to make the right
decision when one of your furry family members is ill.

I'm hoping and praying for you and your kitty.

:hug:

-Your sister might have meant well,
but she has a very insensitive way of saying things.

[hyphenate]

45. Thanks for your support

As far as my sister is concerned, she has her good days and her bad days, but she is an alcoholic, and she prefers her liquor to any sentiment of reality. She has been cruel before when she is drinking, and she is never afraid of who she hurts in those times when she is so drunk. This will not change--I've tried to believe at different times that she is changing, but then she goes and fucks up yet again, and I'm tired of giving her chances to redeem herself, since she herself can't summon up the control to get her life back together again. This isn't the first nor the last time she will go from good to bad over the course of a bottle of alcohol. The only problem is, I keep falling for her entreaties and giving her chances when she is owed none.

[Kajsa]

50. She alone needs to make the decision

to get sober.

Yes, family and friends factor into the equation
but she needs to make that decision herself.

It's very difficult for everyone concerned.

Hang in there.

:hug:

[Bryn]

20. Please let us know what vet says

I know how you feel. I love my furbabies. Warm thoughts and prayers for both of you. :hug:

[hyphenate]

46. I will--thanks! eom

[smokey nj]

21. I'm so sorry hyphenate

:hug:
You're not too sensitive at all, your sister said the worst thing at the worst possible time. Big :hug:s for Delenn, I hope the poor kitty will be ok.

[hyphenate]

48. Thanks!

Your kindness and compassion are received with gratitude.



I'm fading fast here, so I'm going to quit the thread for the night. I appreciate everyone's time and energy for bearing with me. It's time for me to call it a night.

[SoxFan]

22. Hugs (and a sandpaper kiss from the fuzzy ones)

:grouphug:

[Rhiannon12866]

24. I am so sorry, hyphenate, but don't give up hope. I never do. *sigh*

And I've been through a lot, as well, since I adopt the older pets, from rescue. When I adopted my dog, Sara, a sweet little terrier mix who was found as a stray on the streets of Ohio, and took her for a check-up, the vet tech who first examined her took one look in her mouth and said "I've never seen anything like this before..." Just what you want to hear, right?:-(

She had a large growth in her mouth, protruding from her gum. She also had another one between her shoulder blades which my vet thought might be an inoculation site. *sigh*:scared:

But my vet is the best, and she had surgery and was just fine. She was at least eight at the time, probably older, according to my vet. But the vet said that he got it all and nothing ever grew back, though she did eventually have another growth on her rump, which was also removed...:shrug:

A growth is not a death sentence, but I understand how scared you are. I get awfully scared too. If you don't get satisfaction from the vet you are seeing, get a second opinion. I was really fortunate to find the vet that I did. As long as you're doing what you have to do for you're cat, nobody could ask more. So don't give up. I never do, since I trust my vet to recommend the best options and to tell me the truth. Hang in there and let us know how it goes. I've been where you are and I care.:hi:

Rhiannon:hug:

My Sara:loveya:

[EFerrari]

25. It could be a number of things besides cancer.

I had two kits with mouth issues that turned out not to be cancer.

Imho, take the kitty to the vet and ask for a reduced fee and payments. At least until you get a diagnosis.

Both of my guys are doing okay, btw. :hug:

[Truthiness Inspector]

47. True

When my brother was 15 he had a growth on his tongue that was believed to be cancer. After more specialists, it wasn't cancer at all. (He chewed tobacco, much to my parents' horror, so I can understand the misdiagnosis.)

I hope the OP finds some comfort, and a solution. I've lost pets too, and it is hard, because they aren't just "pets" they are "family."

[hyphenate]

27. Thanks to everyone who sent their

best thoughts, and I do want to answer everyone of you!

Add a slow internet right now to the list, as the last reply I made too over 15 minutes to post!!

I'll be back a little later to read all the responses and try to answer as many as I can--hopefully, the connect will have sped up by then. Much obliged to everyone.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

49. Sending good vibes your way...

I hope your dear kitty soon gets some relief. :hug:

A few years ago, we were having very tough times financially, and one of our cats got crystals in his UT...nasty, painful condition.
The vet set up an appointment with another vet, who worked for people with low incomes, homeless people, fixed incomes, etc. They were a godsend for us at the time.

Maybe your vet can recommend something similar for you, if their fees are unaffordable for you. :hug:

[Mike03]

28. Believe Me, I Understand

I'm so sorry you are going through this. There is no doubt that the illness of a pet is traumatic, very very traumatic, and many people don't understand this.

And having multiple losses in a short period of time is just devastating.

Two weeks ago from this coming Monday I had to put my sweet dog down because she was suffering from Lymphoma, and the week before that someone very close to me was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. Even today I am grieving my dog and wishing she was here to hug and comfort. There were some days when she was the only reason to get out of bed, and now she's gone.

I'm very sorry about your situation, and I believe that many people here will understand exactly how painful your experience is right now.

[AZBlue]

31. I'm sorry!

...I believe that many people here will understand exactly how painful your experience is right now.

You are so right about that - and we understand how much pain you've just been going through. :hug:
Unfortunately, most of us know this from our own experiences. Losing a fur baby is so so hard - but in time tears will be replaced with smiles when you remember them!

[judaspriestess]

29. I'm sorry to hear that

I lost my baby cat to cancer a couple of years ago. Its still painful to this day.

Here is an affirmation for you.

I deny any appearance of disorder. This cat is a perfect idea in Divine Mind and now expresses God's perfect Idea of a perfect cat.

Hope your lil baby is ok, keep us informed.

[AZBlue]

30. I'm sorry!

:hug:
:hug:

You are NOT too sensitive - your sister's being mean and insensitive, sorry to have to say that. Remember this: with cancer in pets, there's not much that can often be done. So, even if you had lots of disposable income, the kindest thing might be to leave her alone until it's lessening the quality of her life and then, hard as it is, let her go.

I went through the same thing two years ago, almost to the day, with Sally. I did spend some money - thanks to a loan from family - with tests and such and in the end I realized that while I could lengthen her life a little, it wouldn't be the kind of life she deserved and I loved her too much for that. So, while I felt a little guilty for being "cheap" I knew I was doing the right thing. And, with time and space, I've gotten further perspective - and talked to others who have gone through the same thing - and know for sure I did the right thing. And, so will you when the time is needed, whether that's now or eight years from now.

Now....we don't even know it's cancer, so try not to make yourself crazy until you know what is really going on. I know that's easier said than done, but it won't help you or her if you just stew over it. It could just as easily be a benign growth that's easily removed.

Here's another hug: :hug:
Stay strong and keep us posted!

[mike_c]

40. damn, I'm so sorry your cat is sick....

:hug: