"I'll take overwrought guitar solos of the 80s for $1000, Alex"

[dolo amber]

Granted to get to the sweet stuff you should just skip to about 3:50, though the rest is pretty funny too. And you get to see a balloon kill a guy! :bounce:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nahUZAoZw-Q

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQb1t_Yw0S8

[dolo amber]

2. You know if no one replied to this

that would've been my next post. :thumbsup:

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. After all, Lynch does "break the chains."

Literally.

[dolo amber]

6. There's metal, and then there's LynchMetal

It's really no contest. :patriot:

[Magrittes Pipe]

8. Too bad he never played with Dio.

That would have been the metalest metal that ever metaled.

And the songs would've been about elves.

[DS1]

13. Not true. The metal that is "Kip" eclipses Lynch and Dio

But if there was a LynchDioHalfordLombardoLemmy

now we're talking

[Magrittes Pipe]

14. No shit!

I must find this.

[RetroLounge]

3. Total 80's overwrought guitar wanking...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2NrIALcNOw

:hide:

RL

[dolo amber]

10. You're not my friend anymore

:cry:

:P

[RetroLounge]

48. ...

Oops, Did I forget this? :sarcasm:

RL

[supernova]

15. Ohhh Retro, I have to beat you up now!!

:grr: :grr:

[supernova]

17. delete

wrong place

[driver8]

22. I'll help you...

Johnny Marr is one of my favorite guitar players!!

[RetroLounge]

47. Yeah, mine too...

I was just kidding...

His work with TheThe was pretty great too.

RL

[flvegan]

23. And tATu looks MUCH better doing it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do4NuJMRdbQ

[mockmonkey]

39. ugh

It sounds like a version as if done by "Alvin and the Chipmonks."

[RetroLounge]

46. Drool

:drool:

:wow:

RL

[no name no slogan]

5. Yeah!!! Chop off Brad Gillis' whammy bar, and...

... you find out he is not just a truly mediocre guitarist, but a downright shitty guitarist.

However, Brad did fill the late Randy Rhoads' shoes immediately after he died in the plane crash, so I have to respect him for that. That would be one tough gig.


ON EDIT: I really do need to get a haircut soon. I just realized my hair is starting to look like Jack Blades' (the bass player/singer). Isn't it sad that I know the names of all the guys in Night Ranger? :cry:


ON FURTHER EDIT: What took that damn train so long?!?!?!?!?

[dolo amber]

9. The stripey guy looks like he's having a seizure, and Brad Gillis

looks like he should be in the WWE instead of a "band".

I love the balloon o'death, though. :D

[no name no slogan]

12. "I'll take WWE Stars and/or shitty hair metal bands for $200, Alex"

:P

[DS1]

7. How about "Maximum Teeth Gnashing and Anime-Style bent-leg squats"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZb3Xya7jQ8

[dolo amber]

11. ...

:spray: :thumbsup:

[DS1]

16. Wait! THIS is what I was really looking for

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3x-pRIMArc

You can't wank more than this. Not even with three dicks and two really good friends

[dolo amber]

19. That's just abnormal

And if the guitarwank wasn't enough...that singer's hair...

[fudge stripe cookays]

55. I think I glimpsed...

a nest of the elusive North American Tree Vulture in there!

[supernova]

18. Maximum White Guy Whininess

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK2B-KzizQg :cry: :P

[dolo amber]

20. Too much whine

Not enough wank.

That did not sound right at. all.

[DS1]

21. Sounds like a typical emo date

[Fenris]

24. Awesomeness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jokWFU_kbOk

Check out the giant Shrek hands.

[dolo amber]

29. I'm sorry, where's he falling?

Into the fire? He's falling? Into the fire? Into the fire? Into the fire?

I really think they should be more clear. :shrug:

[Fenris]

34. Why are they in a mine?

If the mine is on fire, I don't suggest you go into it.

[flamingyouth]

32. Damn you for beating me to it!

You KNOW that's my favorite stupid video!

"Hey, what's our budget for the giant green ogre hands?"

"You know what this video needs? A constantly circling helicopter! And we need to perform in front of some drab, Soviet-era housing. With the giant green ogre hands and the falling ashes, that would really pull it all together!"

[fudge stripe cookays]

57. .

:rofl:

Although, I have to say...from a plastic surgeon's viewpoint, Don Dokken really does have the most exquisite nose.

[fudge stripe cookays]

59. I always wanted to get a poodle...

and get him a Lynch cut and dye job.

:D

[eyepaddle]

25. Nothing can really top this--prepare to be invaded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w0YbJPdubk

[flvegan]

27. *snicker* Mark Slaughter

[flvegan]

26. I can't even make it to the guitar solo of this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpX-QdG3hgU

Of bands that suck, this is the Dyson of them all.

[dolo amber]

28. I thought about looking them up

but I don't want to accidentally make my dogs explode. :rofl:

(My bulldog has already expressed his dislike for Yes today while I was watching VH-1 Classic ROCK FEST!!!1. He was staring at the telly and growling. )

[flamingyouth]

30. HAHAHAHA

That's hilarious even with the sound off. :rofl:

[eyepaddle]

31. It was going great, and then BAM!

Out comes the juggler! That's takin' it to the next level!

When discussing King Diamond ALL sentences are exclamations!

[Fenris]

33. Nice falsetto, Ronald McEvil

I swear to God, some kid at my high school would wear a King Diamond t-shirt to school and he wasn't being ironic. This was in 2002!

[flamingyouth]

35. Can I make you an offer YOU CAAAAAAAN'T REEEEEFUUUUUUSE?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FMOeBTHbTUs

[Fenris]

36. He looks disturbingly like Jack Black.

[dolo amber]

37. That's redundant

[flvegan]

38. Ah, Jesus, that's bad

How some bands got record deals, I'll never know.

[no name no slogan]

43. In high school, my best bed sent away for their promo flexi-disc

Remember those? I believe it was from an ad in Circus magazine. Or was it Hit Parader?

[eyepaddle]

44. I knew somebody who did that too!

I think it would be smart of me to shut up now, but honestly, I remember thinking Grim Reaper might have a bit of potential! :scared:

:hide:

[fudge stripe cookays]

56. Oh....thanks a LOT!

I played it for a joke, and now reprehensor wants to find a copy. Someone save me!

:cry:

[asthmaticeog]

61. I prefer this vid, wherein he almost kinda looks like Predator.

Doughy, ugly, gap-toothed, mulleted Predator.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wQ5rllUvx2E

Bonus: surely the only metal song ever to contain the lyric "brush your teeth and go to bed."

[Fenris]

62. "BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GO TO BEEEEEEED!"

I don't know if you've seen the other guys in the band, but this clearly wasn't a maxim their parents taught them.

[DS1]

40. Time to break out the heavy hitters

grab your loincloths men! it's time for another ride to some unwitting camp of vagrants

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-4qTi7cDtI4

[eyepaddle]

41. It wasn't loading but all I needed to know was the word "loin cloth"

And I knew it would be Manowar!

[dolo amber]

42. Exactly

:D

[WildEyedLiberal]

49. Yup

Didn't even need to open the clip.

Oh, but I did, and then the TRUE METAL ASSAULT blew me away!!!!

DEATH TO FALSE METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

[Connonym]

45. that's exactly what my kids look like when they play Guitar Hero

and it never fails to crack me up

[lildreamer316]

50. I'll play.(Second one especially!)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1hMYniDANpw

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Dp2jNhZWxBM

[dolo amber]

51. I wish my name was Yngwie

I just think it'd be great to walk around and be like "Hello, my name is Yngwie, and I'm a total douche." and then play some blisterin' guitar licks, just to see people's faces. That'd be AWESOME. :D

[flvegan]

52. Okay, I saved this one, but I did so for a reason...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jIhhGVFKXoM

Yes, it is the epitome of 80's glam. However, I have to say a couple things as a caveat...

1. Vito Bratta is an amazing guitarist. I saw him do "Flight of the Bumblebee" and I'd put this guy against Rhoads, Vai or "Ingvay" anyday.

2. This band did a song for Greenpeace. One of their biggest hits, matter of fact, "Little Fighter" was about the Rainbow Warrior.

Oh, and Mike Tramp is probably (short of Mike Patton) the hawtest guy I've ever seen. Series.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

53. Here's A Blast From The Past For Ya!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oe1K12sV8OE

And this one's just thrown in as a bonus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plHqKK7A4uA

[CrownPrinceBandar]

54. Oh yeah?.... Well, take this.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yck1IjIhAf0

[fudge stripe cookays]

58. What, no Bulletboys yet?

All this Van Halen posing and cartoons too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF5LBTJwpl8

[Orsino]

60. Faux metal

Dippy power pop, with a couple of workmanlike metal solos inserted at gunpoint. All the guitar chunk-a-chunk layered on can't diguise its essential lameness.

[bridgit]

63. Mr Mister - Kyrie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb0Gak88lDA&mode=related&search=

[asthmaticeog]

64. Interesting choice.

Barely related observations:

1) I just love that their drummer wound up in King Crimson.

2) If your bass player is your lead vocalist, double-check to see if your band totally blows. Winger, ELP, Primus (post-indie), Mr. Mister, Level 42, Night Ranger - fully deserving of the rack, every damn one of 'em.

[bridgit]

65. those guys were the quintessential pop-schlock alloy, maybe that song...

maybe Broken Wing...but that was it = nothing else, plus the bass player dude had a serious Lord Sting thing going on that was never fulfilled poor guy

[asthmaticeog]

66. He made up for his Stingly shortcomings in package pants and Member's Only jackets.

:freak:

[treestar]

67. Weirder when it's the drummer

Like the Eagles and whatever band Phil Collins was in.