Worst thing about the Star Wars films?

[Orrex]

Poll question: Worst thing about the Star Wars films?

[Deja Q]

1. How about 'all of the above sans ewoks'?

The Ewoks at least were played by better actors, looked real, and didn't pass gas.

[LeftyMom]

2. George Lucas

Once he got to where he was respected enough that he didn't have to take constructive criticism (and probably few people dared to offer any) his work got really self-indulgent and childish.

[Orrex]

4. Doh! Good call!

I missed the forest for the trees, there.

IMO you pegged him nicely, and all else pretty clearly descends from his assumption of total control.

[Richard Steele]

9. :)

[jpgray]

33. This is correct.

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. Pretty much all of episode 1.

[ruiner4u]

6. and 2...and 3.....

4 5 and 6 rocked tho...

[Mz Pip]

14. 1,2,3

should never have been made.

The whole mythology was spoiled with those movies.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[XemaSab]

12. I thought 2 was the nadir of the series

:shrug:

[Reciprocity]

5. Other - C-3PO was the best actor of the bunch.

[twenty4blackbirds]

7. George Lucas

as said by LeftyMom

[Danger Mouse]

8. Jar Jar...never before have I prayed so fervently for a character's slow and painful death...

and never before have I been so painfully, nay, agonizingly disappointed.
:(

[Orrex]

10. On the plus side...

He does score a little infamy by basically kick-starting the Empire.

But as soon as Ahmed Best's choice of vocal characterization came over the speakers, I knew that EPI would stink royally.

And nothing onscreen inspired me to revise that opinion...

[Danger Mouse]

28. Episode One was a festering boil on the ass of the star wars franchise.

Not that episodes 2 and 3 were much better, but episode one sucked HARD.
at least something good came of it: lego star wars :D
i find ahmed best's portrayal of jar jar to be offensive...
on many levels.
:puke:

[XemaSab]

13. People BOOED when he came onscreen in 2 and 3

:P

[Danger Mouse]

29. that is the only appropriate reaction.

that and weeping.

[JVS]

11. THEY HAVE NO TRIBBLES!!!!

[pokerfan]

15. Reworking the film to have Greedo shoot first

It makes Han look like a complete imbecile.

[IntravenousDemilo]

16. The worst thing about Star Wars is that the Empire is treated as evil.

The Jedi knights and masters are these supposedly exceptional characters who, because of heredity or this thing called The Force, are "chosen" people who are inherently "better" than others, and since I don't believe in exceptionalism, this offends my sense of equality. The structure of the Empire, on the other hand, is more of a civil-service meritocracy, even if it is somewhat militaristic and they do nasty things. But at least the people who run the Empire have worked their way up through the ranks based on demonstrated ability.

Mind you, I'm saying this as someone who has seen only the original three movies and not the more recent ones, so I could be completely wrong. But basically, I don't like the pseudoreligious, almost Nietzchean tone of the Jedi code, and the fact that the Jedi are held up as the heroes of these movies sends a message I don't like, that some people are superior to other people.

I prefer Star Trek anyway, as the United Federation of Planets is more democratic, and I particularly like the ethics of the Prime Directive: "As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes the introduction of superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Star Fleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation."

It strikes me that if Bush were a Trekkie and had followed the Prime Directive, you wouldn't be in Iraq right now trying to impose Western values and a democratic system of government that is alien to Muslim culture. Star Trek was way ahead of its time and very prescient, given the state of things today, whereas Star Wars is a bunch of mythological hooey. But they're both very entertaining.

[Mythsaje]

18. I think you missed a lot

The jedi were servants of life, who often died young in such service. They were always called upon to sacrifice themselves to save others. They weren't "superior," they subjugated themselves to the defense of life and all too often paid the ultimate price.

The empire was a human organization that rose out of the belief that humans were somehow superior to all the other races, and that the only purpose those aliens served were as slaves or, at best, lackeys. Since the jedi stood in service to all life, and sentient life in particular, they were immediately targeted for destruction because they stood for the exact opposite of those who wanted to destroy the republic and replace it with imperial tyranny.

[IntravenousDemilo]

19. Well, I definitely missed Episodes 1 through 3.

:D

[Mythsaje]

20. To really understand the universe, you have to read the books...

The movies are, well, like most movies. It's a bit like watching Dune and thinking you know what it's all about. Hell, reading that series ten times might give you an idea, but watching the movie just ain't going to do it.

I like Star Trek too. I like the concepts behind it. I think they took it too far, frankly, and ran out of original ideas for that universe. I think beyond the original, DS9 was the most creative of all the versions, but that's just me.

[IntravenousDemilo]

23. The Star Wars series was based on books? Like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings"?

Oh, god, I just despised Dune, by the way, and I never read the Herbert books. The movie felt like huge chunks of story were completely missing, and I was quite lost by about halfway through it.

The one Star Trek I can't stand is Voyager, but that's mostly because I find Kate Mulgrew's male-Munchkin voice very grating.

[Orrex]

27. Well, in defense of the poll question...

I did specify that I was asking for the worst thing in the Star Wars films, so the books, comics, fanfic, and Clone Wars cartoon are out of bounds.

[Mythsaje]

32. Oh, I know...

I have no issue with the poll at all. I just thought I spotted someone who had the wrong idea and couldn't help but say something about it.

[terrya]

21. Excellent analysis

You never cease to stimulate me.

SHMILY

[IntravenousDemilo]

24. Thanks.

Good morning, sweetie. :*

shmily

[MrScorpio]

17. The goddamned gap between the first three and the last three

A lot of people died without seeing the end

[yellowdogintexas]

25. or the beginning, depending on point of view and how you

number them.

[Maine-ah]

22. they should have just left them alone.

[yellowdogintexas]

26. actually , that there won't be any more of them. .....

(ducking)

Sorry, I love them all just at different levels of enjoyment for each of them.

[DerekG]

31. They all have virtues

Even a flawed SW film is preferable to 80 percent of the bile Hollywood spews our way. I've settled on a ranking:

1. The Empire Strikes Back (One of the 25 greatest American films)
2. Revenge of the Sith (A pop rendition of Faust, and a damn good one)
3. A New Hope (My favorite fairy tale)

--------------------------

4. The Phantom Menace (For every one blunder, Lucas got five things right)
5. Attack of the Clones (Had all the potential for a great SW film, but undone by shoddy dialogue and stilted performances)
6. Return of the Jedi (Um....I like the speeder bike chase)

[stuntcat]

34. yah, that's my vote too

well in a way maybe I'm glad there aren't more coming because I'm scared of what they'd toss in to screw it up but still I love the whole thing so much.. as silly as some of episode 1 was it was so exciting waiting in line!
Waiting for ep 3 was fun too, even though it was just 15 strangers waiting in an empty mall on a weekday morning. I just can't not love all the movies and being a fanatic

[BlooInBloo]

30. I was sooooo cheering when they made Vader. Anything to get rid of Anakin (shudder).

[Bassic]

35. Hayden Christiensen

With Greedo shoots first a close second.

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. "NOOOooooooOOOOOO!"

I would happily live with Jar Jar if we could get rid of that ridiculous and movie-destroying "NOOOOOOOOO!" at the end of episode III.

[NewJeffCT]

51. that bothered me, too

A friend of mine said it was even worse than the "Dean Scream"

[EstimatedProphet]

37. Jabba the Hutt's fucking band!

[EstimatedProphet]

38. BTW what's EPI?

[GaYellowDawg]

39. Well..... I know how I'd fix them...

That is, if I could go back in time and deliver a few solid smacks upside Lucas's head.

Star Wars: Han shoots first in the digital remakes. That was perfectly in character for him! I don't know what the hell Lucas was thinking there.

Empire Strikes Back: Don't change a thing. Not. One. Thing. Except for cleaning up the special effects. I think I might have tweaked some of the stop action a little bit with morphing software to make it a hair smoother.

Return of the Jedi: Ewoks. I don't care what you do with them, make them more menacing. The Ewoks were the worst thing in the Star Wars universe until Jar Jar came along. No wonder the Empire fell if its elite troopers were beaten down by a bunch of rock and stick toting 3 foot high teddy bears. I wouldn't even care if Ewoks were substituted for by put-a-new-prosthetic-on-your-face-and-call-it-a-new-species Star Trek the Next Generation aliens. And while I'm talking aliens, Lando's copilot when he flew the Millenium Falcon was one goofy looking bastard.

Phantom Menace: Got a list.

1. Ditch the midichlorians, especially the part where the little guys made Anakin's mom pregnant. It reduced something mystical to an infection.

2. Do something different with the Trade Federation aliens. More convincing prosthetics and for gosh sakes, can the stupid accent.

3. No Jar Jar. Or if you gotta have him, don't make him the goofiest piece of crap in the universe. It would have been a lot cooler if he was some kind of con man who was clever and nasty and Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had to keep an eye on him at the same time as everything else. And while you're at it, make his entire race look a little less stupid.

4. Make Anakin 13 or 14. That way, it makes more sense for him to be able to pilot things, it makes the romance with Amidala make sense instead of being sick, and it makes more sense for the Jedi Council to reject him as too old.

5. Oh yeah, Anakin's mom gets killed by a gangster who bet on one of Anakin's opponents in the pod race. The same gangster tries to go after Anakin but the Jedi kill him. Anakin, instead of leaving his mom in slavery, leaves because there's nothing left for him on Tatooine (and I think it'd make a neat parallel with Luke) and wants to be a hero like the men who killed his mother's killer.

6. Make the Trade Federation droids (all the different types) more menacing. They were goofy as hell.

7. I wouldn't have minded seeing Darth Maul raise a little more hell.

Attack of the Clones: Got another list.

1. Use someone besides Hayden Christianson.

2. If it's set 10 years after the first movie, then hell, use a different actress besides Natalie Portman. I'd go with Ashley Judd, whom I think would look a little like an older Natalie Portman.

3. Totally different plot: Here's where I would have wildly diverged from Lucas's plot. I would have made the whole clone army implanted with some sort of chip that ensured obedience. Then I would have made the Trade Federation get ahold of the army and attack Coruscant. During the attack, Anakin saves Padme's life (now Senator Padme) and she falls in love with him. The Galactic Republic undergoes massive losses and just in the nick of time, Senator Palpatine "discovers" a command frequency for the chip (having been allied with the Trade Federation the entire time in secret) and shuts the clone army down. The Trade Federation is defeated, but not before the Jedi "discover" that Count Dooku (and for gosh sakes, name the guy something different - you might as well call him Count Poop) is behind the whole clone army plot (of course, he's really in collusion with Palpatine). He defeats Obi Wan and Anakin, holds off Yoda, and escapes. In the meantime, with Yoda absent, Palpatine gets a no confidence vote for Chancellor "Kneel to Zod" and assumes the chancellorship. Then he whips the Senate into an absolute fear frenzy with fake intelligence about more clone armies and gets special powers (yeah, I know, sounds all too familiar). Anakin and Padme marry in secret.

Revenge of the Sith:

Another totally reworked plot. The movie opens a few months after the last movie. Before Anakin leaves on a mission to the far corners of the galaxy to try to track down Count **** (he wouldn't be named Dooku in my movie), Padme tells him she's pregnant. Anakin and Obi-Wan leave, only surprise! **** kidnaps Senator Padme (the chancellor wants her out of the way because she keeps on trying to return the Senate to power). Obi-Wan and Anakin are called back to go after her. During the rescue attempt, Padme gets free on her own, but is injured and goes into a coma. In the meantime, Anakin and Obi-Wan capture **** to take him back to Coruscant for trial. **** makes the mistake of gloating over Padme's injury in front of Anakin and Obi-Wan. Anakin goes completely crazy and executes **** in front of Obi-Wan. The Jedi Council, upon their return, take Padme into their care and interrogate Anakin. Once they find out that they married in secret, they oust Anakin from the Jedi for that and for the execution of **** as Padme's health fails. Obi-Wan protests and is sent to the lava planet to help mop up Trade Federation remnants. Anakin asks him to leave the Jedi with him but Obi-Wan refuses. Anakin, crazed with grief and rage, goes to Palpatine. As they talk, Palpatine gets a call: Padme and her baby are dead (of course, the Jedi manage to save both kids and hide them from Anakin). Anakin swears to kill all the Jedi in revenge, Palpatine reveals that he's a Sith, Anakin swears allegiance to him and becomes Vader. Vader and Palpatine lead the charge on the Jedi tower with clone troopers. Yoda escapes with the twins and takes them to Senator Organa. Anakin tells Vader that he will personally see to "the traitor Obi-Wan" and goes off to the lava planet, where he loses limbs and almost life. Obi-Wan meets up with Yoda and Organa, they split the twins up, and the movie ends much as it did with Vader looking at the Death Star.

On edit: Oh yeah, there's no goofy-assed "NOOOOOOOO!!!" Instead, when Vader comes up off the table, he says something like "my master, so long as this machine breathes for me, I shall pursue the Jedi and their allies to the far corners of the universe, for I have become Hate."

That's how you make the Star Wars movies better.

[NewJeffCT]

44. wow, some great ideas

I agree with your #1 completely. That whole midichlorian thing stunned me when I saw it in the theater... I was like, "did I hear that right? Did they just take the mystical Force and make it into midichlorians?" For some reason, I remember thinking of that "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episode where the nanites take over the ship with midichlorians like nanites.

and, I agree on making Anakin older. It was odd when he was 8 in Episode 1 and 10 years or so younger than Padme... then, he's seemingly the same age as her in Episode 2.

[madrchsod]

40. there is no sound in space

[GaYellowDawg]

41. Sigh...

And there's no background soundtrack in real life. Sometimes you gotta sacrifice physics for excitement.

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. Oh, and Carrie Fisher and Natalie Portman should have done every scene nude.

Having them clothed was a crime against humanity.

[NewJeffCT]

43. Or, at least give us Portman in a brass bikini

like Fisher in Return of the Jedi!

[Dragonbreathp9d]

45. Tie: Jar Jar Binks/ Other (ewok movies)

the Ewoks themselves are fine, but the ewok movies..... blech

[jobycom]

46. I liked most of the series, even loved large parts of it, but Hayden Christiansen...

I mean, he's not even cute enough to have been sleeping with someone. It's like someone decided Keanu Reeves was getting too old to really suck anymore, and actively sought a replacement.

[IndianaJones]

47. Jedi's. nt

[Jade Fox]

48. They were boring.

Just IMHO.

[DarkTirade]

49. I find it odd that you have to add the totals for 'Greedo shoots first', 'midichlorians'

and 'Jar-Jar Binks' together just to equal Hayden Christensen. It's not entirely his fault: the material sucked. :P

[Fire Walk With Me]

50. Perhaps use a different voice actor for the Trade Federation leader.

Nothing against the guy, but couldn't have have changed it up even a little?

Know what I'm talking about? It's the same guy who voiced MojoJojo on The PowerPuff Girls. It's the same voice.

Yes, I watched The PowerPuff Girls. I know people my age who have the DVDs. Does that make you SAD?

[dysfunctional press]

52. "we can end this war"

how many times was that said, and by how many people?

[Rob H.]

53. Other: the dialog

Lucas' dialog is absolutely excruciating to listen to--he definitely has a tin ear wrt the way people actually speak.

[Orrex]

54. Yeah, that's a good call

I should have included in a general "George Lucas" in the poll.

But even the stilted and artificial dialogue could be made to work if only Lucas would have gotten out of the way and let the actors act instead of just stomping around reciting George's bombast!