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Seriously - women - if you chew gum in public, you look like a fucking moron who gives sex away

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:42 PM
Original message
Seriously - women - if you chew gum in public, you look like a fucking moron who gives sex away
Edited on Tue Aug-07-07 09:45 PM by Rabrrrrrr
It's true, you really do.

There's nothing sexy, interesting, or attractive about a woman (or even a man) chewing a wad of cud.

I know some people like to think that it makes you look, I don't know, sophisticated or something - but it doesn't.

Especially in summer, when women are not wearing bulky winter clothes, I look around and see some seriously hot women and then they turn around and I see CUD CUD CUD CUD CUD CUD CUD with your mouths hanging open while you chew and you attractiveness level goes from Smoking Hot to "I'd rather do Oprah after she's been wallowing in rancid lard".

And I think, "You might have gone to college, but you are not educated; you might make a lot of money, but you are low class; you might have a professional job, but you are a chav."

Harsh of me? Maybe. But this will hopefully save a lot of you from being ignored by quality men/women.

Saw a smokin' hot woman last night at a baseball game - very cute, very attractive - and then, a few minutes after I noticed her, she opened her mouth and started chewing her cud, and her attractiveness level went down to the aforementioned Oprah in lard ranking. But, on the other hand, I also thought, "Wow - all I'd have to do is say I have a convertible and she'll screw me for days on end". Oh, decisions, decisions, decisions...

Please - seriously - chew your cud in private for a moment, only to freshen your breath; don't talk while chewing your cud; and dispose of it properly. Or, better yet, save the earth, and stop polluting our earth with that unnecessary shit.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
1. ooohhh free sex! yahoo
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
2. I really hate stepping in that shit.


I really do!
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elshiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
3. Chewing women are very attractive to me.
But, oh well...
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
4. Oh, that doesn't hold a candle to the men and their chaw.
CUD CUD CUD CUD and then the charming *SPLAT*--brown runny crap all over the place.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. Agreed on that one!
Thankfully I'm now rarely around chawers. My cousins used to chew a lot, and there'd be spit cups all over... gross.

:puke:

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Phredicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #11
19. There was a chewing tobacco fad when I was in high school,
and people were using the drinking fountains as spittoons. Gawd, that was just freakin' nasty...
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
5. This is going to be a shame...
:popcorn:
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Prisoner_Number_Six Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
6. Must be a heavy burden being the Keeper Of Values.
Does it pay well, and do you get vacations?

:rofl:

And... you ARE one of those "quality men/women", are you not? I guess you'd have to be to so boldly make such proclamations...

:hide:
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
7. Interesting how you liken women to cows...
:shrug:

nd what, may I ask, makes a "quality man/woman"?

:eyes:
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. I think a judgemental generalizing asshole is a "quality man."
Don't you?

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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
8. Maybe chicks should start smoking instead?
Am I missing a copycat thread or something?
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
9. I don't know anyone who chews gum for the purpose of looking "sophisticated."
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
10. hm, i'll leave a little note on the frig about that very subject, thanks...
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
12. The woman at the baseball game is probably crushed.
She missed out on a gem like you!

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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
14. wow
first of all, i think it makes them better kissers, and second, it is gum...i'd rather deal with spearmint breath women rather than the women just back from eating that smelt/limburger/liverwurst on rye at lunch!!

honestly, its not like women that chew tobacco or dip snuff...(or smokers, but i know that's another flamewar)
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billyoc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
15. I support a woman's right to chew.
sorry, couldn't resist. :hide:
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. But if she dresses like that, er . . . chews gum like that, then she's
clearly looking for lots of sex.


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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. if she smokes she pokes, but if she chews she screws
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. .
:thumbsdown:

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Fran Kubelik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
16. Oh dear.
That is a fascinating rant.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
18. Ms Gum-popper turn you down?
Edited on Tue Aug-07-07 10:22 PM by supernova
You know, chewing sugar free gum after a meal is a good substitute for not being able to brush. But I do agree, people should keep their mouths closed. Mouth breathers are uncouth.
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:26 PM
Response to Original message
20. well, it can be done tastefully or crassly...
"chomp smack chomp smack" is pretty nasty... picture a bad actress playing a waitress in a greasy spoon.

but as mentioned, if someone wants to freshen their breath for whatever reason and is civilized about it, it's not a problem. not wild about people who CONSTANTLY are chewing...

Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while
It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile
But it's repulsive, revolting and wrong
Chewing and chewing all day long

The way that a cow does

Oompa loompa doompety da
Given good manners you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

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Redneck Socialist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:39 PM
Response to Original message
23. I just interviewed a young woman who chewed gum through the entire interview.
Seemed nice, but she's not getting hired.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:41 PM
Response to Original message
24. Get over it.
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Lethe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 01:33 AM
Response to Reply #24
35. wtf is that anyway?
Edited on Wed Aug-08-07 01:34 AM by ikhor
megaman with a Devo hat?

edit: oh yeah i forgot the main topic.....chewing gum is ok for ladies except if your name is Violet and you're from the South
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
25. Just think if those smoking hot women would only not chew...
Edited on Tue Aug-07-07 10:52 PM by JanMichael
...you'd fuck them. All of them I bet. Riiiightttt.
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WildEyedLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
26. Your inferences about people based on one observation defy logic
It's truly astounding that you purport to arrive at such a detailed character analysis of a complete and total stranger because you saw her chewing gum.

The thing is, you might have had a point before you started making ludicrous and illogical leaps about this complete stranger's character, lifestyle, and sexual habits.

There's no excuse for anyone to chew anything - gum or food - with their mouth open, so I agree that's pretty tacky. It happens to be one of my pet peeves, in fact. There's also no excuse for anyone over the age of 13 to chew bubble gum and blow and pop big bubbles. But you didn't specify that in your rant - no, you basically said that any woman that chews gum in public, ever, for any reason, is a whore.

So I guess when I pop a bite of Dentyne in my mouth and chew it with my mouth closed, I'm basically whoring myself out for sex. Okay then.
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txwhitedove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 11:32 PM
Response to Original message
27. Silly man. Women who chew gum usually have an....
ORAL fixation....ya know!??
:P
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 12:26 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. That's always been my thought on the matter.
:P
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Der Blaue Engel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 12:42 AM
Response to Original message
29. Oh, wah.
*chomp* *chomp* *chomp* *SMACK*!
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 12:50 AM
Response to Original message
30. I gotta say I'm really torn here
On the one hand she looks like a fucking moron

On the other hand she gives sex away

What to do. What to do... :rofl:

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SoCalDemGrrl Donating Member (786 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 12:54 AM
Response to Original message
31. So, you'd prefer GARLIC breath? Oh please, some of us chew gum to
keep fresh breath and it's certainly not a reflection of class or
lack of it.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
32. Rabrrrrrr, we agree on most things...but this is not one of them
In fact, you're flat out wrong on this.

Chewing with your mouth open and blowing/snapping gum in public is rude, but to imply it makes you, well, easy is just misogynistic and asinine.
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VLC Donating Member (487 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 01:26 AM
Response to Original message
33. Call Al Gore
Who knew gum was the cause of Earth's demise?

Guess I'll quit chewing gum, and all the time I'll save by not having sex anymore can be used to drive around, discard plastic bags all over and eat meat, which are NOT the problem.
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grasswire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 01:30 AM
Response to Original message
34. the women I see smacking gum in public....
...are either teenagers or they wear an unusually vacant look. I don't know that either of those signal free sex. Just shallow thought, I think.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 01:33 AM
Response to Original message
36. One small step for man, one giant leap for Rabrrrrrr......
.....to a totally illogical conclusion based on one woman chewing gum.

I think you missed the flying trapeze on this one, dude.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 03:09 AM
Response to Original message
37. I'm so glad I don't care what
misogynistic assholes think. Otherwise, I would not be able to enjoy my gum as much as I do. As I smack 2 pieces of gum at once, I say to you, "Kiss my fucking grits or my ass. Pick one. Jerk."

As to your anti woman views, I'd rather be low class than have no class, like you.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 03:14 AM
Response to Original message
38. You've just made me very happy that I don't chew gum.
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 03:52 AM
Response to Original message
39. Wow. Gum-chewing hits you waaaaay harder than it hits me.
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grace0418 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:19 AM
Response to Original message
40. Are you kidding? Please say you're kidding.
Edited on Wed Aug-08-07 04:21 AM by grace0418
Because otherwise that's an incredibly weird and sexist remark to make (gum chewing=slut). Of course you have a right to your opinion, and everyone finds different things attractive or unattractive. And sure, some people pop their gum and otherwise make disgusting noises with it. But for the most part it doesn't affect me negatively whatsoever. If I even notice at all, I'm usually grateful that the other person would rather not blast me with their breath. I carpooled with someone who had really bad breath, and I made it a habit to bring gum with, take a piece, then offer him one. It made things so much better in the car.

But whatever, I have no desire to be found attractive by someone who would make such sweeping generalizations anyway. I will continue to enjoy my cinnamon-y goodness whenever I damn well please, thank you very much.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:30 AM
Response to Original message
41. Sometimes an OP says more about the author than the topic addressed. (nt)
Edited on Wed Aug-08-07 04:32 AM by Heidi
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:42 AM
Original message
Attention all sexy smokin' woman who were turned own by Rabrrrr:
I'm freshly divorced and I don't mind gum-chewing! Show up Rabrrrrr by going out on a date! With me! That'll make him jealous! And a French kiss will make him super duper jealous!!!!


<pant pant pant pant pant>
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:43 AM
Response to Original message
43. Bwahahahahaha!
Oh, the delights he is missing out on!
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:46 AM
Response to Reply #43
44. Yes, the delights are delightful...
... lemme get my camera. Can you hold that pose for a minute?
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:48 AM
Response to Reply #44
45. Of course!
:spray:
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:02 AM
Response to Reply #45
49. Wow, you're limber!
:evilgrin:
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WildEyedLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:49 AM
Response to Original message
46. Oh, you know you're just looking for all the free sex we gum chewers give away
:evilgrin:
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:12 AM
Response to Reply #46
52. Oh, damn, you know it, too?
See, that's not part of my original plan. Oh, well, improvise...



Um.... hmmmm....


Ah-ha!



"Hey, baby, I lost my number, can I have yours?"



(internal dialogue: Oh, man, I'm SMOOOOOOTH! I'm gonna be hip-deep in gum-chewing chicks tonight! I'll probably regret tomorrow not doing some 'man-scaping', but, hell, that's a several hours away yet!
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WildEyedLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:25 AM
Response to Reply #52
54. Hey I'm just a low class gum chewing trollop
Manscaping? I don't need no manscaping! Just come pick me up in your hot convertible and we'll have a spearmint-fueled orgy ALL NIGHT LONG!

:spray:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:31 AM
Response to Reply #54
55. You're not foolin' me, WildEyedLiberal.
I bet you're the kind of woman who can chew gun and buy her own convertible at the same time. :thumbsup:
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WildEyedLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:36 AM
Response to Reply #55
56. I actually do have a convertible, funnily enough
I'll be sure to chew LOTS OF GUM the next time I drive it, too. :woohoo:

:D :thumbsup:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:44 AM
Response to Reply #56
57. For years, my mom had wanted a convertible.
Just before her 62nd birthday last year, my dad said, "How about if I buy you that little convertible you've been wanting?"

Mom said, "I've already ordered and paid for it. It's a silver Volvo and I'm picking it up next week." Whatta cool woman she is. :)
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WildEyedLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:54 AM
Response to Reply #57
58. LOL!
Now that's my kinda woman! :D
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:05 AM
Response to Original message
51. What color is your convertible?
"<pant pant pant pant pant>"
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:12 AM
Response to Reply #51
53. "Raging Hormone Red"
:evilgrin:
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:42 AM
Original message
Self-delete; dupe
Edited on Wed Aug-08-07 04:43 AM by krispos42
it's a duplicate, why are reading it?
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:42 AM
Response to Original message
42. Another self-delete... whacked that enter button a few times
Edited on Wed Aug-08-07 04:44 AM by krispos42
You're reading this one, too? Oy vey!
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:49 AM
Response to Reply #42
47. Well, if you'd quit chewing gum, you wouldn't have that problem.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 05:03 AM
Response to Reply #47
50. But... but... but... then all those people in the Stride factory will be out of work!!!
Edited on Wed Aug-08-07 05:04 AM by krispos42
n/t
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 04:59 AM
Response to Original message
48. It dosen't bother me ..It can be quite sexy sometimes
I would just be careful rushing to judgements.
First impressions are often wrong
I wear my ballcap backwards some people frown on that.
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Dragonbreathp9d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 06:37 AM
Response to Original message
59. one can chew gum unlike a cow you know
I almost always have gum in my mouth, but I dont do the over motions and snapping of it, most people dont even know I have it, so I'm sure others can get away with it too
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Fox Mulder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 06:59 AM
Response to Original message
60. It doesn't bother me one bit.
In fact, it can be kind of sexy sometimes.
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muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-08-07 07:19 AM
Response to Original message
61. Locking
Flamebait
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