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How do I know if a coworker is being friendly or flirty?

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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 01:59 PM
Original message
How do I know if a coworker is being friendly or flirty?
I'm going to go hide for a while. :)
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:02 PM
Response to Original message
1. You need to be a little more specific
:)
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hmmmm...tough call. Mostly that sort of thing is determined by instinct
or intuition.

I'm naturally friendly and have many times had it mistaken for flirtiness.

LOL, but on the other hand, I'm naturally flirty, too.

So go figure. :eyes:
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
3. you dont
its a tough call either way.
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mikeytherat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
4. Hand on your shoulder = friendly
Hand on your shoulder and other hand on his penis = flirty

mikey_the_rat
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WI_DEM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 06:48 PM
Response to Reply #4
15. massaging shoulders= flirty or really evading your space
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triguy46 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
5. If it included a tongue, it was flirting.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
6. I never know myself.
It is one of the social skills that my undiagnosed-but-still-something-very-much-like-Asberger's prevents me from having.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
7. you must have a strange workplace. every few months it seems like coworkers are hitting on you
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. I agree.
I'm not exactly an attractive person...
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Dragonbreathp9d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
8. how do I know if ANY girl/woman is being friendly/flirty?
I'm TERRIBLE at that game
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
36. If her nipples are pointing at you, she's being flirty
If not, she's just friendly. Be discreet when you are checking this out. I mean, at least be talking to her. :bounce: :bounce:
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Norwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:52 PM
Response to Original message
9. you dont really
Just go with your instincts and if your interested in her, then hey go for it! Im bad at determing those signs too, for guys like us we just gotta go for it, damn the consequences!
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patricia92243 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 02:55 PM
Response to Original message
10. People flirt all the time. There is a BIG difference between harmless flirting and a "come on,"
Unfortunately, I don't know how to tell you to determine the difference. I know (yes, it still happens to people my age) - but don't know how to tell others how to figure it all out.
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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
12. Flirty
You said you had a big.........................:hi;
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unpossibles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
13. look, I told you I was sorry
sheesh!
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hunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
14. I never know.
I used to figure everyone was irritated with me, and even if I recognized they were being friendly I'd think they were faking it, but honestly that was too much work and got me into a lot of trouble.

Now I assume everyone is friendly or flirty, and respond in kind. It really pisses off the people who really are irritated with me, or the people who are trying to use me, but good, it makes everyone else happy.

I don't make any emotional investments, however, especially since I'm married! (I made an exception to the emotional investment rule when I met my wife...)

The trick is to know your boundaries, and stick to them.

If you really want some lessons, go work in a doctor's office and watch the pharmaceutical reps who stop by to visit. They are the ultimate pros at flirty and friendly, OMG, which does explain so many things that are wrong with medicine in the U.S., especially doctors who prescribe expensive meds to people who don't have any means of consistently taking them.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
16. deep sincere eye contact with physical touch is usually flirty
light chatting and giggles is probably just friendly, unless accompanied by the title actions as well
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:18 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. oh...
good to know :think: :yoiks:

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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. You got a touchy feely starer?
:D

I agree w/ AZDem.

If I like a guy I do one possibly all of these: 1)Play with my hair 2)touch him... usually on the arm. 3) Giggle or laugh

Those are guaranteed because I absolutely cannot control them!

I don't always maintain eye contact because I'm shy, and it just feels too intense, at least initially.
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. uhm, well
yeah

plays with hair CHECK
touches on arm CHECK
giggles or laughs CHECK
deep eye contact CHECK

but I ain't goin' there I tell ya, nope... ;)
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. how did I forget the hair thing???
just shows how long I've been married eh??

:rofl:
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:38 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. ...
:shrug:

mebbe so? ;)

:hi:
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janx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. Play with your hair?
I've read about this, but I don't think that I do it. What is it?
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Take a lock and twirl it around in my fingers
Totally absent-minded on my part.
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. ...
*thud*

:hi:
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. ....
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janx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:45 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. I don't do this, for some reason.
?
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. well then training camp is required
:shrug:

:rofl:

:D
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janx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. Am I abnormal or something?
:shrug:
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. i dunno
are you?
:shrug:

;)
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:48 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. yup
:P

twirling hair is er... interesting ;)
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Prisoner_Number_Six Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
20. Assume flirtiness. If you're wrong, she'll beat the hell outta ya.
No biggie. You haven't lived until you've been slapped around by a woman. :evilgrin:

If you're RIGHT... well, let's say now's your chance. Reach down, pull your balls outside your body, and tell 'em it's time to wake up and go to work.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:31 PM
Response to Original message
24. who cares? apply pepper spray liberally!
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
28. I don't know either
I somehow knew that one male coworker was flirting though. Some of the key things that tipped me off were "stalking" me (I saw you... a couple times per week), comapring me to previous dates and saying stuff like "you are much nicer, prettier, or something else like that", and inviting me to do various things with him. He has finally come out and said that he likes me and finds me hot. Yes, he has met my husband. My husband knows that I have no interest in this guy. After he went around telling everyone about being attracted to me, some of the other guys told him to back off. He recently invited me to a family event though.
Other people, including the guy who was flirting with me, had to tell me that the butch lesbian where I work was flirting with me. She also told other people that she was interested in me. When I was told of this, I began to recognize the flirty behavior. A coworker who I discussed this with told her to back off. She seems to be respectful of this.
In my position at work, I try to be friendly to everyone because it makes them more cooperative and I don't like to upset people anyway. My boss has told me that I should be cold to these two people if they start acting flirty. I am not available. I am married. If I were single, it would be a bad idea to date anyway there given my position which is on the edge of managment. Even though I consider the two flirters undesireable, I wouldn't want anyone there flirting with me even if the person was an attractive young man. I wish that I could print an announcement and that they would stay away.
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janx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:49 PM
Response to Reply #28
33. That sounds horrible. n/t
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
29. I don't know...why don't you go back and check the answers
From the last time you asked this question? Or the time before that?

:D
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Seashell Eyes Donating Member (498 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-07-07 10:39 PM
Response to Original message
37. Any unnecessary touching
I was so clueless that I didn't know for sure until he kissed me.
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