would you be happier married or unmarried

[greenbriar]

Been thinking. If I were not married, I don't think I would ever get married again

I am too independent



your thoughts?


This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:


Once upon a time



~~~~~~~~



in a land far away,



~~~~~~~~



a beautiful, independent,


self-assured princess



~~~~~~~~



happened upon a frog as she sat


contemplating ecological issues


on the shores of an unpolluted pond


in a verdant meadow near her castle.



~~~~~~~~



The frog hopped into the princess' lap


and said: " Elegant Lady,


I was once a handsome prince,


until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.



~~~~~~~~



One kiss from you, however,


and I will turn back


into the dapper, young prince that I am



~~~~~~~~


and then, my sweet, we can marry



~~~~~~~~



and set up housekeeping in your castle



~~~~~~~~



with my mother,



~~~~~~~~



where you can prepare my meals,



~~~~~~~~



clean my clothes, bear my children,



~~~~~~~~



and forever feel



grateful and happy doing so. "


~~~~~~~~



That night,


~~~~~~~~


as the princess dined sumptuously


~~~~~~~~


on lightly sautéed frog legs


~~~~~~~~


seasoned in a white wine


~~~~~~~


and onion cream sauce,


~~~~~~~~


she chuckled and thought to herself:


~~~~~~~~


I don't freakin think so.

[mzteris]

1. spoiler - sorry - delete.....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

46. pfffftttt!

:spray:

you!

spoiler :eyes:


:rofl: :rofl:

:pals:

[some guy]

2. LOL

I don't think I'd be happy married.

I wouldn't mind having a maid, though. :eyes:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear greenbriar...

I love this story!

However....I also love being married....being part of someone....part of something larger than myself!



Hmmm....frogs legs....:9

:rofl: :rofl:

[The Straight Story]

4. Married, as I am now

I have a good partner to share my life with.

[Redstone]

5. Fuck a bunch of fairy tales, even though Mrs R and I had a Storytale Romance,

for us, being married beats the bejabbers out of the alternative. Saved my life, and hers as well.

Your results may vary.

Redstone

[Skittles]

6. much prefer being single

one person - just too boring for me

[unpossibles]

26. maybe you just need to find the right person

the one who doesn't see marriage as being limited to "just one person" - they are out there on just about every level.

[Skittles]

50. that is just a bunch of nonsense

why be married at all? It is crap.

[crim son]

7. I've been married for nearly seventeen years and am currently separated.

Separation isn't any happier than marriage. I guess I don't know the answer to your question.

[hfojvt]

8. that's not a very good tale

for boys.

Maybe Cinderella could be re-written with the Prince as a playa.

[billyskank]

9. Being single is FUCKING SHIT

It blows. It is total bollocks. It can fuck right off.

[fizzgig]

11. ...

:hug:

[ForrestGump]

12. Being married CAN be worse

And I don't think there's any lonely more lonely than having someone right there in your bed who is a million miles away in any meaningful sense.

It depends who you're married to. And who you are.

Marriage is a strange institution, in some ways (as a legal commitment, a state-sanctioned permit to live together), but a while ago I realized -- much to my extreme surprise -- that I would be ready to do it again with the right person, going in with eyes open and with oodles of love all about the place. It's not something to be rushed into, but it's not something to fear out of all proportion to the central fact of it being a commitment between you and someone you truly love. People get married for all sorts of reasons, and some even do it for love.

[bullwinkle428]

29. Words of wisdom, bro -

I've been there myself, and couldn't possibly agree more with your sentiments... :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[lizziegrace]

41. I couldn't have said it any better

:hug:

[supernova]

45. Been there, done that

Didn't want the T-shirt.

[redqueen]

48. after being in a marriage like that

i'm not really sure which is worse, honestly

[laylah]

70. ...

"And I don't think there's any lonely more lonely than having someone right there in your bed who is a million miles away in any meaningful sense."

Lived it for 23 years, finally had to go :cry:

[supernova]

47. (((BillySkank)))

:hug:

[redqueen]

49. *sigh*

ain't that the truth

:pals:

[Skittles]

51. not a good sign when you cannot stand your own company

not good at all

[billyskank]

54. Edit.

Delete.

[demoleft]

10. I'm not married but happily in love...

I got a wonderful cute partner and it's now 10 years we're together.
Maybe we're going to marry, next year.
Maybe not.

So the answer to your question is: I'm happy anyway until she stands by me!

[cobalt1999]

13. I was happy as a single, I'm happy being married.

As for getting married again. Probably not at my age (46). Women wouldn't be as high on my priority list as when I was in my teens/twenties, so I doubt I'd bother to look for one.

[Inchworm]

14. I love it!

Right now my daughter is 19. I wish I'd have read that to her each night as she grew up! :D

:yourock:

[raccoon]

15. I would like to be married if it was a happy marriage.

Especially I've felt this way since my parents are now deceased.

But I'd MUCH rather be single than unhappily married.

Loved your fairy tale!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. unhappily married is the worst.

[NewWaveChick1981]

16. Unmarried.

:) Your description is me to a T. If something ever happened to my marriage, I would not get married again. Period.

[Dragonbreathp9d]

17. I'd love to be married

as long as its with the right gal

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. you dont have to be someone's slave (anymore). i am hardly rockits slave, or she mine.

and we both cant wait to get married.

[unpossibles]

24. exactly. I was raised to know how to take care of my self

I don't expect or ask my wife to clean/cook/do laundry, etc. and she's the same with me! We both share most tasks, and even when one of us does one thing, we try to balance those out - for instance, I've been rehabbing our house so she's picked up a bit more of the housework while that's going on.

We're not each other's slaves .... well... sometimes we are. But that's different and consensual.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. your last line is funny!

[BarenakedLady]

20. Ok, I may be biased but

That is fucking hilarious!

:rofl:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

21. LOL. I like that.

I've never tried being in any relationship at all, but I'm not sure I'd ever be great at it. I'd have to find a special sort of person to consort with. I'm too independent and don't care for bullshit to deal with a normal relationship with just any old person; my companion would have to be quite as liberal as I am, also quite independent, and very intelligent.

[Zywiec]

22. Still bitter about the lap dance? n/t

[bluethruandthru]

23. I've been married 21 years

and there have been lots of ups and downs..but I got two fabulous girls out of the deal. I wouldnt't trade that for anything. However, if something happened to my marriage...I would not remarry.

[unpossibles]

25. for the most part, I love being married

we share tasks, give each other enough personal space yet also enjoy hanging out and doing things together, and we generally don't get jealous over stupid crap.

There are times it can suck, but for the most part I love it. I love having a good friend to share experiences and thoughts with, talk about our favorite music, books, and movies, and someone to snuggle with on a bad day. We try to balance our respective strengths, and neither of us expects the other to do all the work.

[evlbstrd]

27. I am less unhappy now that the marriage is over.

Not exactly ecstatic. Lower stress. Different.

[bigwillq]

28. I never want to get married (nt)

[MaryBear]

30. There is a children's book available,

or used to be, that is good on this: CINDEREDNA.

[Rob H.]

32. Depends

Looking back on some of the women I've dated I sometimes think I really dodged some bullets along the way. I like being able to wing it wrt plans and travel and whatnot since I'm single, but would I get married? If I find the right person, why not?

[Seashell Eyes]

33. At this point, I'm happy being unmarried

Too damn young to be married.

[Wapsie B]

34. After quite some time I'm now unmarried and I love it!

I love coming home to a place of my own. It doesn't even have windows, which gave me a weird feeling when I first saw the place. But now it suits me just fine. The loneliness sets in only when I'm in a crowd, seeing others happy and together, enjoying each other. That is not unusual though.

Even when married I felt alone, having not found someone who truly gets me, feeling that million miles away from them to paraphrase Mr. Gump above. So I engage in solitary pursuits for the most part. There's a part of me that's never been filled. My marriage certainly didn't fill it. And now that it's over I feel better than I have in a long time.

[Zavulon]

35. I'm single, I'm happy being single, and will never forfeit my singleness, singlehood or singleocity

I just can't sign on to the thought of making a relationship legally binding. If you want to call that "fear of committment," feel free. :)

[Writer]

36. This is a very good question. It's a complicated one for me, actually.

I should preface what I'm about to type by saying that I'm happily married. I got lucky - he's a very good man and I think we are best friends. I have a strong heart for many, however, and if it were feasible, I'd marry more than one man if I could. There is a man in my real life and also a man online who I have great care for. It's not the same as it is with my husband, but I think about them a lot, and I wonder if they're all right from time to time. I wish I could give more of myself to them, but I do not wish to hurt anyone, especially my best friend.

If I had not met Mr. Writer, I'd likely would be better off not marrying at all. I think marriage is a fairly unnatural arrangement that we force ourselves into in order to keep society civil. I think we've also convinced ourselves - through marketing, mostly, with its glistening pearls and golden lettering - that marriage is an ideal that a woman must achieve. I think it's terrible brainwashing. Marriage has not been about love until the Twentieth Century, in fact. Up until the 1970's I think it was a means for a man to acquire his own personal indentured servant. And even as recently as the late Nineteenth Century it was a means to exchange property, namely a woman, for other forms of influence and resources.

Funny... I had the oddest exchange with one of the two men I'm referring to above recently. He remarried in May (#2 for him). I was surprised by this. I knew he had a long time girlfriend but he never appeared to be the marrying type. Upon hearing this news, I congratulated him, but he shook his head in disagreement, "No, no, no." Perhaps he understands well that he's now bought into an institution that contains many unnatural expectations for him. But he is an older man, and I am so glad he's not alone. But perhaps that's how we use marriage nowadays. An insurance against loneliness. An assured support network if we need it. Companionship. Sex. Financial strength. For truly selfish reasons, actually. And if our needs aren't satisfied, we quickly divorce, spilling once more into the giant mating pool until we bump into someone new. Rinse. Repeat. That's modernism, however.

[skygazer]

37. My thoughts are that it depends

It depends on what you want and expect from marriage. It depends on whether you feel that being married to someone is somehow different than having an unmarried relationship with someone. It depends on who you choose to marry.

There are plenty of married people out there who are quite happy. There are plenty of singly people who are happy. There are plenty of married and single people who are unhappy. And you can be independent and married if you're with a person who supports that.

Ultimately, I don't think it has to do with marriage so much as it has to do with people.

[applegrove]

38. I am way to independant to be married. Never have been, never will.

[greenbriar]

39. I too am independent

never again


if something happened to hubby, I would NEVER again marry

[Deja Q]

40. Married

And doing my part to keep the marriage alive and prosperous too.

[redqueen]

42. I'd be much happier in a committed relationship.

Marriage isn't the be-all-end-all IMO... I'd just like someone to love.

[AngryAmish]

43. I'm much happier married

I was single for a long time - I got married almost 5 months ago.

My main enemy when single is boredom. I don't like to work a whole lot so I have structured my life so I don't have to. I drank too much out of boredom. I watched too much TV.

Now I have a reason to go home. I have someone to talk to (who I care to talk to and not a nattering fool) and someone to share my life with.

I am not articulating this very well but my life is much healthier and whole.

[supernova]

44. It's a choice you make

Being single has its rewards, cheifly no body to argue with you about how to spend your time or your money. :-)

Being married (I'd say really being in a LTR) has it's rewards too, Someone to say goodnigh/morning to. Always someone to do things with. No need to wonder how you'll fill your vacations and holidays. Hugs on demand. Regular sex with someone who knows what you like. :-)

What is infinitely worse, is being in either state and wishing too hard that you were in the other state. It really is quite an extraordinary talent to appreciate and enjoy one's present circumstances, whatever they are.

[LostinVA]

52. Married, if it's to my future trophy wife Haruka

I love her New Jersey punk ass so.

[Bassic]

62. Sweet words.

:P :thumbsup:

[LostinVA]

64. I mean 'em too, ami

[Bassic]

69. Then they are

worth more than gold :D

[KitchenWitch]

53. Can I please have it both ways!

:P

[SKKY]

55. I'm happily married, and wouldn't change a thing, but...

...I was very, very good at being single. :evilgrin: I had no problem being single.

[onecent]

56. LOL...God, that is great!

[ceile]

57. I'm debating that right now.

I'm engaged, we've been having some issues, my sis is pushing me to set a date because she's paying for the venue rental, we're broke and I don't know if I want things to change. I kinda like "living sin".

[CountAllVotes]

58. I never wanted to get married

however I am now but I am not very happy about it. :(

[TOhioLiberal]

59. As I limp toward the end of a 21 year marriage...

...I have to say that I don't forsee me getting married again, for now. It would be a rebound relationship anyway. :shrug:

[mentalsolstice]

60. My husband is my best friend

AND I get to have sex with him!:bounce: However, if I were to outlast him, I don't see myself remarrying. A boyfriend, perhaps, but not marriage.

[cloudbase]

61. I'll get back to you with an answer after I ask my wife.

Seriously, I've (mostly) enjoyed 29 years of marriage.

[SarahB]

63. People need to be happy with themselves first.

I prefer committed long, term relationships (and yes, probably marriage). Not everyone does. It's simply a personal choice.

[dropkickpa]

65. I don't like sharing my stuff

So I am happily unmarried. I dunno, I think it would take a LOT to change my mind on this one.

[Dastard Stepchild]

66. Married/partnered to the right person....

Single if he or she was nowhere to be found.

[RiffRandell]

67. Love being married.

We hit bumps in the road but it is so meant to be----and I love it.

My husband rocks!

[Digit]

68. Been single since '89.

My old boyfriend asked me to marry him back in 1993 and I refused, then I moved away.

Obviously, I was not committed.

I am much happier being single, with friends I can be with when I want company.

[MissMillie]

71. my happiness does not depend on other people

There is a lot about my life that I love and would love to share with someone else.

It would be nice to have someone in my life who has goals that are similar to mine. But my goals exist whether someone else shares them or not.

It would feel wonderful to know that there is someone out there who feels that I am the most important person in the world to them. I don't have that. In the meantime, I'll settle for me.