Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

This is just depressing.

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:34 PM
Original message
This is just depressing.
I went out to a bar the other night with some friends. I was walking past the door, when who should wander in, but my closest friend in town.

She went through (inpatient) alcohol treatment two weeks shy of a year ago. She's drinking again. I watched her turn from a wonderful, ambitious, pulled-together woman (and mother of four girls)last year, to a barely functional disaster. Now she's headed back down the toilet and ultimately, there is NOTHING I can do to help her. Not a damn thing.

I can't imagine what it's like to be an alcoholic. It's hard enough to watch one ruin their own life, when you care about them.

:(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. Hard to see, it is. But you're right about one thing: You can do NOTHING to
help her. Not pretty, but the truth.

Redstone
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:37 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. She's in the excuse-making phase.
"It's different this time," "I don't feel guilty about it," blah, blah, blah.

I know where she's headed, and it 'aint gonna be pretty. I just hope she gets help sooner than later.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:38 PM
Response to Original message
3. "I can't imagine what it's like to be an alcoholic."
It's dark, and hopeless, and ugly, and scary, and every nasty adjective you can come up with...

She won't survive it unless she *wants* to.

The disease of alcoholism is a patient, angry demon constantly sweet talking in her ear that she's just fine and that this time it will be different...

I'll send prayers for her, and a hug for you :hug:

RL
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Thanks.
She is a fabulous human being, and a wonderful mom and friend. It makes her a completely different person. It's an ugly, ugly thing, for certain. Of all the addictions I've grappled with, alcohol's never been among them. After seeing what it did to her last time, and how hard it is for her to stay off it, I'm damn glad I don't have that particular demon on my back.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Dangerously Amused Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
5. :(





:hug:



Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 07:52 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. No kidding.
I lived across the street from her last time around, so I could keep an eye on her. It's not as easy, now. Once, our neighbor had to pull the battery out of her car so she wouldn't drive off totally drunk, to pick up her kids. She'd NEVER do anything like that, in a normal state. It's scary.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 08:01 PM
Response to Original message
7. Sometimes it takes more than once
A lot of alcoholics relapse-- acording to About.com, it's as high as 90% within the first four years of treatment.

She could still quit. It may take more than once for treatment to "stick". And you're right, only she can decide to quit drinking.

All you can do is be supportive of her when she decides to stop drinking again.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Hand Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 08:52 PM
Response to Original message
8. Not a lot you can do now, I fear.
It's axiomatic that sometimes people simply have to hit bottom before they can look up. Sounds like she's headed down (which sucks), but perhaps you can be there when she looks up from the bottom.

It's always "perhaps" with these sad situations, though. I've seen people wrecked by alcohol, too, and it's a heartbreaker all around.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
9. Yup- alcohol is an evil beast
:(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-16-07 08:58 PM
Response to Original message
10. I'm so sorry
That is awful, to have to watch someone you care about self-destruct. I'm glad you know you are powerless to help her. :hug: :hug: :hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sat Apr 19th 2014, 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC