This is just depressing.

[LaraMN]

I went out to a bar the other night with some friends. I was walking past the door, when who should wander in, but my closest friend in town.

She went through (inpatient) alcohol treatment two weeks shy of a year ago. She's drinking again. I watched her turn from a wonderful, ambitious, pulled-together woman (and mother of four girls)last year, to a barely functional disaster. Now she's headed back down the toilet and ultimately, there is NOTHING I can do to help her. Not a damn thing.

I can't imagine what it's like to be an alcoholic. It's hard enough to watch one ruin their own life, when you care about them.

[Redstone]

1. Hard to see, it is. But you're right about one thing: You can do NOTHING to

help her. Not pretty, but the truth.

Redstone

[LaraMN]

2. She's in the excuse-making phase.

"It's different this time," "I don't feel guilty about it," blah, blah, blah.

I know where she's headed, and it 'aint gonna be pretty. I just hope she gets help sooner than later.

[RetroLounge]

3. "I can't imagine what it's like to be an alcoholic."

It's dark, and hopeless, and ugly, and scary, and every nasty adjective you can come up with...

She won't survive it unless she *wants* to.

The disease of alcoholism is a patient, angry demon constantly sweet talking in her ear that she's just fine and that this time it will be different...

I'll send prayers for her, and a hug for you

RL

[LaraMN]

4. Thanks.

She is a fabulous human being, and a wonderful mom and friend. It makes her a completely different person. It's an ugly, ugly thing, for certain. Of all the addictions I've grappled with, alcohol's never been among them. After seeing what it did to her last time, and how hard it is for her to stay off it, I'm damn glad I don't have that particular demon on my back.

[Dangerously Amused]

5. :(

[LaraMN]

6. No kidding.

I lived across the street from her last time around, so I could keep an eye on her. It's not as easy, now. Once, our neighbor had to pull the battery out of her car so she wouldn't drive off totally drunk, to pick up her kids. She'd NEVER do anything like that, in a normal state. It's scary.

[no name no slogan]

7. Sometimes it takes more than once

A lot of alcoholics relapse-- acording to About.com, it's as high as 90% within the first four years of treatment.

She could still quit. It may take more than once for treatment to "stick". And you're right, only she can decide to quit drinking.

All you can do is be supportive of her when she decides to stop drinking again.

[Hand]

8. Not a lot you can do now, I fear.

It's axiomatic that sometimes people simply have to hit bottom before they can look up. Sounds like she's headed down (which sucks), but perhaps you can be there when she looks up from the bottom.

It's always "perhaps" with these sad situations, though. I've seen people wrecked by alcohol, too, and it's a heartbreaker all around.

[Inchworm]

9. Yup- alcohol is an evil beast

[idgiehkt]

10. I'm so sorry

That is awful, to have to watch someone you care about self-destruct. I'm glad you know you are powerless to help her.