Pet Diaries Uncovered....

[SiobhanClancy]

PET DIARIES UNCOVERED

As seen in a dog's diary:

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape,
and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to
kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try
this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what
a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my
confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this
is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his
safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..........

.

[scarlet_owl]

1. That is so funny!

I've always been convinced my cat is out to get me.

[acmavm]

2. That's hilarious. And that's the reason I like cats. Their obvious

disdain for their masters is admirable. And I know for a fact that they not only can craft strategies to demonstrate their superiority, they are capable of carrying out their nefarious schemes. You have to admire a creature like that.

[aquart]

3. Sign at the shelter:

Dogs have masters.

Cats have staff.

[Mikimouse]

4. Sign on my front door...

"Cats and their Housekeeping Staff Live Here". My best friend gave it to me for my birthday last year. Let's people know what they are in for when they visit.