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mopaul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:41 AM
Original message
Man marries horse! Film at eleven....
UP: 8/2/03
Ervule Ditmer, of Roanoke, Virginia, has taken the first step toward redefining the institution of marriage. Ditmer has filed with the local justice of the peace for a marriage certificate, but in this case, it is not to marry his highschool sweetheart, but his horse, Larry. The filing has been put on indefinite hold until the legal particulars can be hashed out.

Ditmer, who owns a small engine repair business, is also a part time preacher at one of Roanoke's many charismatic churches which have popped up across Virginia like mushrooms. "I am simply reacting to the recent supreme court decision allowing sodomy in the state of Texas", says Ditmer, "and it appears that marriage between two men, or two women will soon be legal, so I figured it would be o.k. for me to marry my favorite horse, Larry". "If God had wanted gay marriage, we'd have had Adam and Steve in the garden of Eden, instead of Adam and Eve", Ditmer went on to say.

When asked if his impending inter-species union was serious, or just a political stunt to make a point on morality, Ditmer said, "I'm dead serious, the love I feel for my horse Larry is real, and he loves me too". "And if anyone has any reason why I should not be happily married to my horse, let him now come forward, or forever hold his peace".

Ditmer continued, "The fact that my horse and I are of the same sex is really irrelevant. We are two souls, who've met and fallen in love and we just want to be recognized by society, with full benefits of marriage laws, and not seen as sinful degenerates".

Larry, the 9 year old apaloosa, had no comment for the press.
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patdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
1. An animal is NOT a consenting ADULT!
How much idiocy does it take to be a preacher at a 'charismatic church'? It obviously is more than it takes smarts!!

What an idiot! :grr: :grr: :grr:
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RedSock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:49 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. let me get this straight
so he's saying that horse is his mane squeeze?

...

thank you, I'll be here all week.

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aquart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
2. I thought this was going to be about Ann Coulter.
It's an easy mistake to make.
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Best_man23 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:10 AM
Response to Reply #2
8. Wait a Second
A horse is a beautiful animal. One should not compare a horse to Mann Coulter.
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FlaGranny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
4. Ha!
Good one!
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 09:58 AM
Response to Original message
5. Ervule wants to be a groom?
The pitfalls of functional illiteracy are clear: an inability to mentally distinguish between 'bridal' and 'bridle' is merely one symptom of a bizarre psychosis. I'll bet Ervule wears jockey shorts, too. :eyes:
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donco6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
6. Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Hope he realizes divorce is not an option:

"But I say to you that every one who divorces his wife, except for the cause of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32).

Of course, Larry's fidelity would be hard to gauge.
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maha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
7. I'm withholding judgment
... until I know if Larry is a stallion or a gelding.
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bodhisattava Donating Member (98 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 12:34 PM
Response to Original message
9. Rick Santorum marries a dog!
Need I say more!
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RC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-02-03 03:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. Is that condoliza rice's hand in the picture? N/T
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