Special Gift Advice Please

[VenusRising]

I got an email from my Step-mom today. Apparently, my Dad id going to a weekend spiritual retreat in two weeks. My aunt, his sister, passed away last weekend after deciding 8 months ago that she was not going to endure dialysis. I think that was the final straw to a very draining year. Both his wife and mother had mastectomies from breast cancer, and his wife had to endure lots of chemo. I think that he is just worn out and this is a way for him to recharge his spirit.

Part of the weekend is that those on the retreat receive special letters from friends and loved ones. I noticed in the email that it said flowers and gifts were welcome, too. Well, I've decided to write my dad a letter and get him a St. Joseph's medal, the patron saint of fathers. (Dad's Catholic, but liberal) But I would really like to make him something meaningful. Part of the problem is that my mother to whom I no longer speak has all the pictures of me and my dad. There is no way she would give them up anyway. But that's another story.

So, I guess what I'm asking for is a meaningful gift for my dad that let's him know how much he means to me without photos. If you have any thoughts or thoughtlets, I would be glad to listen to them all. You never know where you are going to find inspiration.

Thanks to all of you in advance. You are all so awesome.

:grouphug:

[MichiganVote]

1. Well how about starting a new photo album---think renewal!

[VenusRising]

2. Good idea.

Thank you.

:hi:

[XemaSab]

6. Or a memory book

Write out 5-10 special memories you have of time you (author of the OP) spent with your dad. Maybe make it like a scrapbook, with pictures of you or other family members or other special items included.

Some really thoughtful ideas here.

[VenusRising]

7. I was thinking that too after reading the other post.

A memory scrapbook kind of thing.

Thanks!

:hi:

[Fleshdancer]

3. My heart goes out to your father

Good for him for going to a spiritual retreat instead of swallowing the pain. It takes a lot of strength to get help when you most need it.

Maybe you could trace back his family tree. My mom did this for herself after her father passed away and she ended up tracing our family tree all the way back to the 1500's. It was oddly comforting for her to learn so much about her ancestry at a time when she was mourning such an important family member. Besides, by remembering your past, it never dies.

If this interests you just let me know and I'll call my mom to see how she started the process.

:hug:

My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your Aunt.

[VenusRising]

8. Thank you GloriaSmith.

Someone was good enough to do our family history back to France for a family reunion. I'm going to try to go to France during our time in the Czech Republic to see if I can find anything further on my family. Great idea, though!

I'm glad your mom was able to do something to help her through her rough time. Losing family is never easy.

:hug:

[S n o w b a l l]

4. Does he have his own place?

You could plant a small tree symbolizing his growth and renewal. Buy him a "spiritual renewal" journal and put a picture of the tree and all your love and thoughts on the first few pages. Mark thoughout the journal important birthdays and other dates and make a few notes on those days of how you remember them & him. Every few weeks, write an inspiring quote inside to help him stay motivated and a special year end message.

Good luck with whatever you decide. :) He's lucky to have you for a daughter.

[VenusRising]

9. Interesting idea.

They just moved into their first house, so that may be a possibility. Although, I'm going to have to transport it. Maybe a tiny tree. :)

Thanks you for the kind words. He's a great dad, and I'm lucky to have him.

[SOteric]

5. A handmade rosary is a thoughtful gift,

and I've seen some made from personally meaningful stones, shells and other items.

Here's a site which will tell you how to make one:

http://www.rosaryworkshop.com/SERVICE-HowToMakeRosaries.html

Even if you choose to make them from purchased beads, they're not hard to make, and the statement is a touching one to us liberal Catholics.

[VenusRising]

10. Wow. Thanks, SOteric.

Those are really beautiful. I may not do that now since I'm getting him the medal, but I will bookmark it to make one later.

:hug:

[Bullwinkle925]

11. I'm sure he does feel as if the weight-of-the-world is on his shoulders.

This retreat is a wonderful thing. I second all of the above ideas. Do you have something in common with your father? Is there something that only the two of you did together - baseball games, fishing, roller-skating, etc? Perhaps find something to remind him of those times - a play handbill or game line-up card, anything to let him know what a special time you had and have with him. A wonderful, heart-felt letter is something that he will always cherish - along with knowing how much he means to you.
You are a great daughter.
:hug:

[VenusRising]

13. Thanks, Bullwinkle925.

No, unfortunately, because of my mom we didn't get much time together when I was a kid. We're making up for it now. When he came to my high school graduation in '94 our relationship was reborn. It gets better all the time. My dad's really special to me.


:hug:

[otherlander]

12. Maybe a string of paper cranes?

They symbolize peace and healing, and it would probably mean a lot to him if he knew you made them yourself. :hug:

[VenusRising]

14. I'm terrible at oragami.

They would turn out looking like pterodactyls and scare my dad back into another retreat. :rofl:

Good idea, though.

:hi:

[VenusRising]

15. Kick.

Something for the bored to think about maybe. :shrug:

:loveya:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. My dear VenusRising!

I don't really have any ideas, sweetie....

But your dad is lucky to have such a special lady for his daughter...:hug:

Whatever you do, he will love it....and you, all the more for your thoughtfulness...

:pals:

[VenusRising]

17. Thanks Peggy.

You're the sweetest! :hug:

I think I am going to make a kind of scrapbook with poems, prayers, memories, the letter, and pictures. I don't have a ton of pictures, but I figure if I use an expandable album I can always make him new pages to add.

Well, that's what I'm going for now at least, unless I come up with something better.