I have a homeless friend

[Roon]

We met a couple years ago at the Colorado Aids Project. Anyway, he has full blown AIDS and is a hardcore meth addict. I let him crash here for about 3-5 days a month so he can detox and come down and get some rest. I feed him, he washes his clothes and takes a shower and he has his own bed in the basement. He gets rested up, fed, and clean then he ventures out again and I don't see him for about a month. Then he comes back and we detox him all over again.

Anyway,he came by yesterday. I have no idea how long he was awake but he looked just terrible. He has pneumonia and is very gaunt. He can't stop coughing and he is just a wreck. He is a little twig. He hasn't taken any bacterium or HAART meds for close to 6 years now. He refuses to go to the DR.because it interferes with his drug use. This guy is dying right before my eyes and there's nothing I can do about it.

I don't know why I posted this. I just wanted to share, I guess. I haven't seen AIDS this close up and personal even though I have it. It's kind of scary.

[crim son]

1. It's scary and bless you

for caring for this man when he's willing to accept help.

[Roon]

4. Thanks for the blessing

I have had this thing for 17 years, but I do everything exactly my PA says.

[crim son]

7. Well, you're making a choice and so is your friend.

You won't find yourself in his situation but he is very fortunate that you are there for him at this time. :hug:

[bigwillq]

2. There's really not much you can do.

You were (and are) a good friend for letting him crash at your place.

But he needs to take responsibility for his actions and only he can decide when and if he wants help with both the drug use and his illness.

You're a good friend. You should be proud.

Take care of yourself.

:hi: :hug:

[Roon]

5. I will take care

Thank you! :-)

[salin]

3. bless you for your kindness

and being willing to confront what might be a delibitating fear. And recognizing that some of this is his responsibility (not going to a doctor) rather than taking on guilt. Instead you give him brief respites and a place where he knows that he is really accepted - even if it is for only a few days a month.

The beauty in your soul is showing. Including the real duress expressed in the lack of ability to change the script for this person.

[Roon]

6. It makes me feel good that he turns to me

I won't tolerate meth use in my house, so he doesn't stay around long. I also forgot to mention, and now this maybe TMI...but his ears ooze this crazy fluid that he has to mop up every few hours.Terrible.

[Avalux]

8. It's a hopeless feeling.

There are some who make choices such as your friend; I have known many who refuse medication and allow the illness to take over because of their lifestyle and/or because they are in a state of denial. All you can do is let him know you care about him, do what you can for him even if it's a very small thing; knowing you can't change him. Yes, full-blown AIDS is scary; but now with treatment, a person can live with HIV as a chronic illness. A person had to be committed to the treatment though.

Bless you for taking care of your friend.
:hug:

[Roon]

9. Thanks!

eom

[S n o w b a l l]

10. You're an angel...

:hug: How hard this must be for you. I wish you both the very best.


(sorry...typo)

[Roon]

12. Thanks

I just hope he doesn't die on the street somewhere.

[Kali]

11. wow

you are a beautiful human being. Wish I were more articulate. I am in awe of your caring and acceptance.

[Roon]

13. Thanks eom

[KitchenWitch]

14. Wow - that brings tears to my eyes

My cousin died in 1990 of AIDS. Seventeen years ago. I still have not gotten over it.

:cry:

[Roon]

15. .

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

16. bach atcha sugar!

:hug:

[merh]

17. it is so good of you to give him a place to detox and rest

all you can do is what you are doing, offer your friendship and concern.

It's not easy watching someone die, but it does give you a better appreciation of life, the little things mean so much more.

Bless you and your friend. :hug:


For I was in need of food, and you gave it to me: I was in need of drink, and you gave it to me: I was wandering, and you took me in;

[Roon]

18. The dancing smiley is cute!

Yeah, I just wish I could get him to the Dr. and get him on some anti-biotic and clean out his lungs so he can at least breath again. He's been asleep all day today. Wakes up every once in awhile and eats then heads right back to bed. He'll do this for 2-3 days.

[merh]

21. well, I do understand your concern and want to get him to a doctor

but maybe he is looking at it his way, he is living as he wants to live until he dies. You want him to take meds that will help him live, he is taking the drugs he likes that helps him live his way until he dies.

Take it from me, a warm bed and a hot shower and hot meal are precious, they are often more healing than anything a doctor can prescribe. And having watched folks languish in a cold and sterile hospital, the healing your kindness provides is more precious than you know.

[Roon]

23. I never looked at it that way

thanks for the insight!

[merh]

25. thank you for taking care of him

and giving him a place that is safe and comfortable.

:hug:

[Roon]

It's my pleasure, actually

Thanks for the hugs! :-)

[barb162]

40. I think you're right here.

If this man wanted to go to a doc he would have. He wants to do it his way

[ThomCat]

19. You're a good person to help him.

I was homeless for a little while right after I first got hurt. I couldn't work. I often couldn't walk. I lost my apartment. And I had trouble finding friends who would let me take a shower and crash on their couch.

I've always promised myself that I'd never turn away a friend who needed a place to stay, and I've kept that promise. I have a lot of respect for anyone who helps in situations like this.

[Roon]

20. Being homeless would be scary to me

Glad that you held up alright!

[fizzgig]

22. blessings to you both

you are a good soul roon :hug:

i don't think there is much you can do for him but love and care for him like you already are.

i can't imagine how difficult this is for you

[Roon]

24. He is so sickly

Like I posted up thread, I hope he doesn't die on the streets.

[barb162]

42. Does he have family anywhere

Because it might be time to contact them

[Roon]

43. He's estranged from his family

Funny you should ask that because I just found out the other day that he has an adult daughter. He was married to a woman at one time.

[barb162]

45. Look, if you could get her number or find out where she lives

it might be the best thing for him. (But Sometimes it isn't; sometimes dying people don't want reunions with long-"lost" relatives). Think about it for a while. It sounds like your friend doesn't have much time left. Maybe ask him roundaboutly if he knows where his daughter lives (Or somehow try to get her name and look her up on the internet?). I have visions of this man dying on the street somewhere. Too bad he doesn't sign up for hospice where he could "go" on his own terms instead of being hooked up to tubes. He's putting a real emotional burden on you.

[pitohui]

26. that is scary

you have a big heart and big courage, unfortunately nothing you can do will make a user stop using but you know that already

you have done as much as jesus himself could do in giving this man a safe drug-free place to sleep, if only for a little while

you are a hero, you have done what is possible, don't blame yourself for not doing what is impossible

[Roon]

32. Yeah, I need to understand that

he is just so sick. I sometimes find myself getting a little mad at him for putting me through this,but then I realize, he is a victim.

[Nicole]

27. You are a true friend.

Your friend knows this that's why he always comes to you when he's in need of a respite from his street life.

I hope you always have such a friend when you need one for you surely deserve that.

:hug:

[Roon]

33. Yeah, that's true

and I sure enjoy the company!! Although he sleeps most of the time when he is here.

[hickman]

28. Most times you just do what you can do.

Most times we can't save anyone but you do whatever you can do. I think it's called an act of grace.

[reyd reid reed]

29. ....

:hug:

That's all. Just...

:hug::hug:

[Roon]

31. Thanks!

He came here Sunday night and he's still sleeping! :wow:

[Truthiness Inspector]

35. That is very concerning

You are incredibly kind to shelter and feed him when he needs it. He is dying, and he just might do it at your place. Just be prepared for that, and I'm sure you probably know that.

You are helping a lost soul, but at some point you might have to consider effecting an involuntary commitment.

Take care, this sounds like a heartbreaking situation.

[Roon]

37. I would rather have him pass here

than on the streets.

[Truthiness Inspector]

44. Very true

and he is lucky to have you. Prayers for your friend, and for you too.

[xchrom]

30. reminds me of the good old days...

oh not that we were all a bunch of meth addicts -- that's just what everyone looked like.

all of a sudden.

everyone speeding to the grave.

what a good person you are roon.

you have made a place for your self among the saints.

very, very kind indeed.

[NNadir]

34. It's very sad, and very moving too.

I watched someone die from tobacco addiction. It wasn't pretty.

May your good works be rewarded in some way by some kindness.

[LynzM]

36. Wow, Roon.

You are a kind soul, to give that much to someone. I hope that karma repays you in kind. :hug: I'm sorry for what you are seeing, and what you each are going through. I don't know really what to say, but that sucks. :hug:

[Roon]

38. Thanks for the hugs!

I am trying to be strong about it.

[wildhorses]

39. ----

:hug:

[Roon]

41. >

:hug:

[barb162]

46. The only other thing I can think of is to call Social Services

in your city or state and ask what they think you should do so this man doesn't end up dying in some gutter somewhere. You have been VERY kind to him.

[Kajsa]

47. I don't know what more you can do,

that you haven't already done.

God Bless you for caring about him.

:hug: