Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

A smile for all the ladies here, and any men who won't feel offended!

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:32 PM
Original message
A smile for all the ladies here, and any men who won't feel offended!
"Lord, I have a problem." "What's wrong, Eve?" "I know that you

created me, and provided this beautiful garden, and all of these

wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why, Eve?"

"Lord, I'm lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, what if I created a man for you?"

"Man? What's that, Lord?"

"Man is a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, be

vain, and give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and

will like to hunt and kill things. And I'll make him so he will satisfy your physical needs.

He'll be witless and enjoy childish things like fighting and kicking balls.

He won't be as smart, so he'll need your good advice to think properly."

"Great, Lord. But what's the catch?"

"Well, there are actually two: First, he must believe that I made him first and second,

this must be our little secret, just woman to woman!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As angry andupset as well all get, sometimes we all need a smile!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:35 PM
Response to Original message
1. Grrr, just don't come running to us men when you need the peanut butter jar opened!
But seriously, thos, did they hunt in the Garden of Eden?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Oh Grrrr to you too! ;o) I won't. I have an electric jar opener.
Come on. We're just havin' fun.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
JustABozoOnThisBus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:42 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. Grrrr, wait'll that jar opener blows a fuse ...
It takes a manly man to replace a fuse.

er, except for

"Honey, do you remember where I put the fuses?"

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. Crap, how often must I be replaced by something battery operated in my life?
Now I'm up to a double GRRR
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #11
26. HAHAHAHAHA!
Thanks for that one!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
2. That's cute!
Thanks for the giggle! :D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
orpupilofnature57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. I represent,,,I mean resent that statement!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ends_dont_justify Donating Member (367 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. LOL, I like that one
I can see where it may ruffle a few feathers, though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
6. heh heh I like it
It explains alot ;-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pepperbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
7. hey,I can take down an elk with my bare hands....and still cry during "all my children" n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. ...
:thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
OwnedByFerrets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
8. I'm a man...........
and have ALWAYS loved that lil joke. TY for posting it and reminding me.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
10. "Wherever she was, there was paradise."
Adam at Eve's grave

Mark Twain
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Aww, what a beautiful sentiment n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:49 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Sam was probably thinking of his beloved Livie when he wrote that. n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. They were married for
a very long time, no?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:22 PM
Response to Reply #17
22. Yes. 34 years
He was shattered when she died.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
femmedem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #10
18. That made me teary, it was so sweet. But then Mr. Femmedem added
Edited on Sat Mar-31-07 06:12 PM by femmedem
"Wherever there was a pair of dice, there was Adam."

Edit to add: he said this from the kitchen, where he is doing the dishes. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MGKrebs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 05:53 PM
Response to Original message
15. Why did God have to make us clods?
Why couldn't She make us strong AND sensitive?
Why couldn't She make us attractive AND smart?
Why couldn't She make us thoughtful AND mysterious?

Women only need big tits.


:evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
omega minimo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:16 PM
Response to Reply #15
20. What you mean is:
MEN "only need big tits."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MGKrebs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-01-07 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #20
36. lol!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:09 PM
Response to Original message
16. Deleted sub-thread
Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
frogcycle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:14 PM
Response to Original message
19. funny
and fwiw I have long thought that females are the true 'core' of any species - the males are just aberrant offspring produced to distribute genes to other females - bees are an excellent example.

just because men are bigger and stronger (better to hunt) they managed to conduct a 'coup' back at the dawn of civilization and establish themselves as the governing gender. You ladies NEVER shoulda let that happen. I for one would like a whole lot more Barbara Boxers and Nancy Pelosis running this country. Men are too wrapped up in machismo to be allowed to make any serious decisions. They should be kept in the back room and used as sex objects only.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Colobo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
21. Bah... hehehehehe!
We are much better than that and you women know it! :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:48 PM
Response to Original message
23. Ok, in the sake of fairness, I've got one...
What does a woman and a linoleum tile floor have in common???


























Wait....





Punchline coming....













If you "lay" them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years and years afterwards!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. owie
:hi:

Question: What is the name for that useless blob of flesh surrounding the penis?
Answer: A man.

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. That's why I love your posts!
You give as good as you take. Here's one a good friend told me...

Question: Why did God create man?
Answer: Because Vibrators can't change a flat tire.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. This one is good!
:7 :thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #23
29. Ack!!
:spank: :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #23
31. Damn!
That is just so wron.....hilarious!

:rofl:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
24. Creationism Hmmmppphhhhh!
:rofl:

that's a good one!

:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 06:53 PM
Response to Original message
25. He-he, that's cute.
:7
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Ms_Dem_Meanor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 08:14 PM
Response to Original message
32. Love it!!!
:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
33. My dear napi21!
I love it!

Thank you for posting this......:rofl: :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
34. That's cute.
:bounce:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-31-07 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
35. I loved it!!!
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-01-07 12:30 AM
Response to Original message
37. so why do you women get uspet at us being amused by childish things?
you agreed to it, after all!

:evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Apr 23rd 2024, 10:45 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC