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The Vernal Equinox is nearly upon us...

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mcscajun Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-18-07 09:54 PM
Original message
The Vernal Equinox is nearly upon us...
Edited on Sun Mar-18-07 09:54 PM by mcscajun
...let "the War on Equinox" begin! :evilgrin:
Area Pagan Dreading Big Family Vernal Equinox Celebration

MEDFORD, OR Despite evidence that the planets are aligned in his favor, local pagan Jeff Birch, 27, said Monday that he would "rather have a peaceful weekend at home" than attend his family's Vernal Equinox celebration on March 21.

"I realize it's supposed to be a festive time of conception and new growth in the womb of Mother Earth and all," Birch said. "But I just know that within an hour of arriving, things will get so bad that I'll be reverting to my 12-year-old self, hiding in the rec room downstairs, wearing my Iroquois false face mask and fingering my runes for comfort. It's not worth it."

-snip-

"But I don't want to have to use up my vacation time and travel almost 300 miles to Portland just to listen to Grandma Moon Odin Rhiannon complain during the sunrise ritual that Mom's not putting enough rose petals in the cauldron or is letting the bonfire get too low," Birch continued. "That will just set Mom off bitching at Grandma for constantly trying to undermine her spiritual relationship with the Pagan Goddess of Dawn and then no one will speak to each other until nightfall."

Birch said he has little sympathy for his perfectionist mother, who reportedly tries to do too much and invites too many people. He says she is known to spend countless hours weaving thistle wreaths and sun-drying her own currants for hot cross buns in preparation for the Equinox. "It's hard to feel sorry for her when things don't go exactly according to her elaborate, impossible plans," Birch said. "And she knows better than to invite Aunt Isolde, who always has too much mulled mead and starts moaning about the lack of a good high priest in her life."

More at...The Onion | March 12, 2007 Copyright 2006 by Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.

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mcscajun Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 09:45 AM
Response to Original message
1. A Spring Kick.
:kick:
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
2. Tonight is Spring Eve.
I'm hanging my Birkenstock sandals by the chimney with care.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 09:57 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. you're right -- it is spring eve! -- i had forgotten.
:woohoo:
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emad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
4. Solar eclipse heralds Vernal Equinox collapse of Bush Evil Empire
London - (Cosmic Press): Lo, the skies have long foretold what the Ancient Ones always held dear.

Monday's Pisces solar eclipse is primed at seismic angles to Pluto, the icy death planet and karmic Lord of rebirth, riches and retribution.

A cosmic touchpaper destined to trigger the Vernal Equinox, a fuse that ignites the funeral pyre of the Bush Family Evil Empire

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i1625...
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emad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 10:01 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Druids banned from Primrose Hill Equinox rite after threats to burn Camilla effigy
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Not content with having banned traditional bonfire night fireworks celebrations on North London's Primrose Hill five years ago on the spurious grounds of susceptibility to terrorism attacks, the Royal Parks Agency has now banned the annual Druids' spring equinox procession this week after local wags promised to burn a straw effigy of Camilla 'to remove the hex of humbuggery she planted on our hillock.......
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i1634...
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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:19 AM
Response to Original message
6. Happy Spring, everyone!
:woohoo:

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Fran Kubelik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:26 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. yay!
:bounce:
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NightWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
8. Woo Hoo, it's time to balance the eggs
sweet
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silverweb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-20-07 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
9. Happy Spring!
This is my "real" New Year and my favorite day.

May everything you plant in the garden of your life flower in joy and beauty!


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