Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

LOL! 6th Grade Kidsí History Test Answers

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 09:22 PM
Original message
LOL! 6th Grade Kidsí History Test Answers
Reported To Be Actual Answers To Sixth Grade History Tests.
Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.

:hi:

* * *

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out:"Tee hee, Brutus."

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.

13. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

14. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

15. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

16. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

17. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

18. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroicouplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

19. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

20. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

21. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

22. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

23. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

24. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

25. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

26. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

27. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

28. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

29. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.

30. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. i can't breathe!
23. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Years ago a friend of mine, who worked with school libraries, gave me this list.
I printed out a copy for my dad, who was in the early stages of Alzheimer's.
He LOVED them, and insisted on reading them to everyone.
But he could barely get the words out, because he'd be laughing so hard.
Tears would stream down his face, and he kept having to take his glasses off to wipe his eyes.

They're not just hilarious -- they're therapeutic! :hi:

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. that's a wonderful story
thanks for sharing it :hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
9. Of course a horse divided against itself cannot stand
That just goes without saying.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #1
24. I was laughing so hard at Virgin...
I could barely make it through the rest. :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Fran Kubelik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
4. HA!
Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

hahahahahahahahahah!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Another favorite:
17. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

:D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
charlie and algernon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
6. "Dying, he gasped out:"Tee hee, Brutus."
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :spray:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TBreeze Donating Member (393 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I think that's my favorite
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
texanwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
7. I like this one,
25. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
eppur_se_muova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #7
38. That's the second use of the word "assinator" I've seen this week! nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Pierre.Suave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. Funny, but
if true, I am saddened by it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Auggie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #8
23. I am saddened as well. I would expect this level to be more advanced.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
dalaigh lllama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 10:09 PM
Response to Reply #23
53. Oh, I don't know
I wrote a report in fifth grade about a class field trip to the museum of natural history where I noted seeing a reserved head. Kept that paper for years just for the chuckle value.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Ms_Dem_Meanor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 10:58 PM
Response to Original message
11. LOL!!!
That's a pretty long test. Looks like they thought too much for some of the answers.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TheCentepedeShoes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
12. I just snorted milk out
my nose. Am I going to die?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:04 PM
Response to Reply #12
46. "Am I going to die?"



Just don't try to use an American appliance in Europe...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
unsavedtrash Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
13. "History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long."
:rofl: :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NanceGreggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 11:06 PM
Response to Original message
14. Thanks so much for posting this!
Like Poster No. 1 I CAN'T BREATHE!!!

These are published every year or so, but I don't often catch them.

I do remember two submissions (from about eight years ago!):

"The French king, Louie Katorz ('The Son King'), often sent people he didn't like to the gallows, where they were forced to row a ship for the rest of their lives."

"The Renaissance was a time when everybody in Italy quit their day jobs and become sculptors and painters."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #14
49. Ha! Those are great, Nance
Love the one about the Renaissance especially

:D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Dangerously Amused Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-23-07 11:09 PM
Response to Original message
15. Hey. I've hurled biscuits and thrown java. In the same PMS episode, even.



It wasn't THAT funny.




I kid. Those are great!



:rofl:



Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
autorank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 12:24 PM
Response to Original message
16. # 32 (K&R!!!)


32. George w Bush stole two elections but the story was that he really won. The people didn't support his policies but the story was that they did. His career ended in disaster when people realized that he was actually here to prepare the earth for an alien invasion. That's why he liked aliens so much.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
17. people stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine!!!
that eeriely too similar to some of my dates!

:spray:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
18. What do you suppose Solomon did with all those porcupines?
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MsKandice01 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
19. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter
Wow, that Shakespeare was one talented dude.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
20. "Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained."
Sounds like a bad stand-up comedy routine.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Little Wing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
21. There are too carefully wrong, I suspect adults wrote these
not buying it
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Webster Green Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #21
28. That was my take, as well..
"He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies"

C'mon now.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:27 PM
Response to Reply #21
35. Sounds a bit Norm Crosby-ish
doesn't it. But perhaps it was Robin Williams' old essay exam ;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #21
43. it could happen. There have been millions of students to collect
these from. as far as the hysterectomies bit mentioned in one of the replies to your post goes; i'd heard people talking about them when i was five or six, so it's not totally unlikely that the word would come to mind accidentally. .....no caps, typing with one finger as i glue something heheh
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 05:30 PM
Response to Original message
22. .
It was the opinion of my friend, who worked with kids every day, that these were genuine kids' answers.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
aquart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #22
44. Me, too.
You can hear how they became confused and how valiantly they tried to make sense of it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #44
45. Exactly
Trying to remember, while under the pressure of a test.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
entanglement Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
25. Absolutely Hilarious! Recommended.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
26. I'm not surprised at all.
I taught juniors at a private high school. Here are two examples of these "scholars" employing their vocabulary words for the week.

1) The car vascilated down the street.

2) I am dogmatic about vacation.

The worst part is I took several papers to the headmaster who was completely unconcerned. I was informed these kids were going to be made VPs of their daddies' corporations and they'd have secretaries with BAs to clean up their writing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:20 PM
Response to Reply #26
33. I can vouch for that...
The last attorney I worked for was a hideous speller and his syntax was so bad, sometimes I didn't even know how to correct it. I had to rewrite practically everything he composed. Did I mention that he was making about four times as much money as I was? :angry:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
erpowers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #26
39. The Really Sad Part
What I think is the really sad part is that some of those kids either went to elite colleges or will go to elite colleges. Their parents will be able to give a donation to a school like Harvard, Yale, or Princeton and then their kid will get in over much more deserving kids. Then to top in off when one of the deserving white kids gets their rejection letter it will all be blamed on the deserving black kids that were accepted to the school while the rich kids' qualifications will never get questioned even once.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MethuenProgressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:01 PM
Response to Original message
27. Is this from the George W. Bush Presidential Lyberry Collection?
no, probably not.. too many words were spelt right :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
JitterbugPerfume Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
29.  this is pretty sad, if true
anti--intellectualism will be the death of our way of life.

That said--they are pretty funny but I also suspect the stealthy hand of adult(ry)

:evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
30. Sixth Grade ? Oh My

Is this legit?

It's special ED 6th grade...right?

The answers sound like grade 3 or 4

Grade 6 omg that's sad....
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-25-07 03:16 AM
Response to Reply #30
54. One of my daughter's high school teachers
yelled at the kids to stop conjugating in the hallway outside his room. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
31. Thank you ... that brought tears to my eyes.
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
erpowers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
32. Not 6th Graders
This cannot be 6th graders. Some of the things written seem to be written by an adult pretending to be a 6th grader. I did have many laughs one of which was after reading the Canada part. If these answers were really written by 6th graders we are in deep trouble.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #32
37. People who work with kids on a daily basis
believe these are authentic.
This list was given to me in the 1990s (pre-dimson)

Here are some "adult" answers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE&mode=related...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Tom Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:52 PM
Response to Reply #37
41. If it is authentic, it is probably a compilation of many
not like one classroom.

Anyway, i support the right to bare arms!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:06 PM
Response to Reply #41
47. Did you check out that video above?
I'm sure there were a few Americans who weren't entertainingly stupid.
Their answers didn't make it onto the video, just as the smarter kids' answers didn't make it onto this list.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-25-07 08:18 AM
Response to Reply #32
59. Our middle schools are a joke.
I don't have any doubt these were written by 6th graders.
Duckie
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
34. This ruined Booth's career
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Tom Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #34
42. keep that in mind, it is a bad career move. A stint in rehab will not change that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
eppur_se_muova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
36. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays.
Gosh, what a LOSER!! :rofl: Nothin' but some stinkin' plays!


Many died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Tom Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
40. I suspect there might have been adult intervention in some of this, but very funny.
Edited on Sat Feb-24-07 06:49 PM by Tom Joad
Even if made up as a joke, as i suspect it was.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
erinlough Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:35 PM
Response to Reply #40
50. From the trenches of teaching I can attest that I see these
every time I correct English papers. I co-teach in an English class and I grade the Special Education papers. When students have difficulties in vocabulary and spelling the mistakes they make are just like these. When I read them back to the student literally as written even they laugh. It is a teaching moment, not the end of civilization. Only by seeing their mistakes can they learn how to correct them.
My partner in the classroom and I laugh all the time at some of the papers we get in. In math, the best one I ever had was a student who came to my desk to argue that I had given her an incorrect grade on her test. She said she could prove her answer to the question " who invented the protractor?" was correct. She had answered China. I showed her the correct answer in the book and she proudly showed me her protractor, and sure enough there on the bottom it said, "made in China". We both had a good laugh when I explained the difference and why her answer was still wrong. It was a great piece of problem solving for her and a good laugh for both of us.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
PATRICK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:28 PM
Response to Original message
48. It seems spellcheck
has made things previously just ghibberish into new jewels.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sonias Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
51. You have got to be kidding
6th graders? As hilarious as these are, it's pretty sad too.

Sonia
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HappyWeasel Donating Member (694 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-24-07 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
52. get a load of this, then...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
regnaD kciN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-25-07 04:26 AM
Response to Original message
55. That list was actually put together by one of my high-school teachers...
...Richard Lederer, who included it in his book Anguished English.

It was a collection of writings from students of various ages, but generally in junior high or high school, not 6th grade.

And, in case you're wondering: no, none of those items came from anything I wrote for him. (FWIW, he wrote the teacher recommendations for my college applications, so he must not have thought that I was too hopeless.)

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-25-07 06:46 AM
Response to Reply #55
57. Wow. And so many were depressed to hear that *6th graders* wrote these.
Thanks for posting that info.

http://www.amazon.com/Anguished-English-Anthology-Accid...

A few Amazon reviewers seem to especially appreciate the test answer about the 100 foot clipper (one of my personal favorites also)

:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-25-07 04:44 AM
Response to Original message
56. It would appear that our children isn't learning
:shrug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-25-07 07:10 AM
Response to Original message
58. They have the flavour of "1066 And All That"
A classic book satirising British history teaching, saying that history is not what happened, it's what you think you remember what happened. It's also the origin of the capitalised expression "A Good Thing".

Compare "Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense" with "The Combat was a system by which in civil cases the litigants decided their dispute by mortal combat, after which the defeated party was allowed to fly the country".

Anyway, if you enjoy these, you'll love 1066 And All That; further parts here,
here, here, here,
here, and
here.

I'm particularly suspicious of "Shakespeare wrote 'hysterectomies'". Most people studying History understand the word 'history'. I think many, if not most, of those are made up. Good, though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Mon Sep 22nd 2014, 05:39 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC