Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

The Dean week - in a nutshell (warning - quasi-humor ahead)

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:15 PM
Original message
The Dean week - in a nutshell (warning - quasi-humor ahead)
For immediate release:


Today Howard Dean, the only true Democrat running for President, departed from his farm state home, Bible in hand, to begin a day of campaigning. Campaigning is quite a Job, said Dean, putting to rest concerns about his Biblical literacy. Press people immediately issued a statement pointing out the context in which Job was used, thus proving once again that Dean did not misspeak.

Efforts to reach God for His comments were unsuccessful.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
1. Wesley Clark commented. . .
"Here from my K-street lobbying firm, I was stunned when I heard Howard Dean make a gaffe like the Book of Job one. I mean, it almost made me screw up my Axciom lobbying effort to sell a new, improved identity tracking system to John Ashcroft and Tom Ridge."

Continuing, the general said "Let's get this straight. This campaign is about faith, family values and patriotism. The new patriotism which is really the classical patriotism. But also faith. Lots of faith. You see, I have faith and I want you to have faith. In me. I'm a general. And a Democrat. Really!"

When asked about why he refused service in a Dean White House (or any other Democrat's White House), Clark said "What, you think I'm a Democr-- ehrm, I mean, it's all about me, baby! I am the only hope for America. Faith and family values are the only winners, as my friend and soon-to-be competitor Dubya would say."

While God refused to comment, Archangel Gabriel reported "extensive sighing and rolling of eyes." :evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Keep practicing

You'll get the hang of this humor thing before you know it. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Upon reading DancingBear's comment, General Clark said. . .
"Who said anything about humor? This campaign is about three things -- faith, family values and the new, erhm, old, ehrm, classical, uhhh. . . God damn it. . . the GOOD patriotism. Oh yeah, and foreign affairs. That's it. No humor here, nope!" :evilgrin:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. Sorry - gotta run
Edited on Sun Jan-04-04 01:35 PM by DancingBear
The dullness is rubbing off...

BTW - it is not considered nice to refer to other posters by name in a reply.

edit: but I'll let it slide this once. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Oh c'mon, where's your sense of humor?
If you're going to yuk it up a little, you shouldn't get all prickly when others join in. I love having fun, don't you? :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:37 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. I'll be back

Dan the Newfie wants to go out - he rules the house! :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. Steer clear of that screech -- it burns away the brain!
Edited on Sun Jan-04-04 02:02 PM by Brian_Expat
That Newfie screech liquor is damn strong. The voice of experience talking here, too. :crazy:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TeacherCreature Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #3
19. You left out one thing

Clark: "Uniforms, it's all about uniforms.... except when it is about nuddie pictures of me on DU"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
JNelson6563 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. it was easily as funny as yours
maybe moreso. Sometimes the best humor is a little fact mixed with the fiction. ;-)

Julie
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Too cute by half n/t


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TeacherCreature Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #1
17. OH Here is the humor!
I wonder if the would change his mind if Dubya called and offered him Unca Dick's job?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
drfemoe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #17
30. Especially
since he holds grudges and bases his party loyalty on same.

Indeed, Clark's delayed entrance into the Democratic Party might be traceable to his abrupt and callous dismissal at the hands of William Cohen, Clinton's Secretary of Defense, and Clinton's failure to back a successful General who had won him a war, and, in retrospect, one of Clinton's most important foreign policy legacies.http://www.clarkmyths.com/myth10.html (pro Clark site)

If he doesn't get the Dem nod will he show Us and go back to the Rs?

Don't even get me started on "won him a war". He lost that one, btw. ** sorry no humor here **
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #30
37. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
drfemoe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. Two out of three
of the thugs he went after are "in hiding".

B* beats that record. He got 50% .. Clark 33%.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
drfemoe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. Do you have a source for that quote
in your sig line? I would love to have it if you don't mind passing it along.

All Patriot No Act "If George W. Bush is qualified to be president of the United States, then any of the Democratic candidates are more qualified."-Wes Clark
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
funky_bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
36. The comfort of knowning...
Unlike other candidates, the only Clark statements you can bash are the ones you create in your head. I'm quite proud of the fact that as of yet (and I'm sure many are biting their tongues) Clark has not completely mispoke, played flippity flop, or made an outrageous tard of himself.

Your creative writing could use a little help though.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Raya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. Funny the Dean thinks the Soviet Union still exists, and "Job" in New Test

It is also tragic for the Dem party to be in angst over a
"front-runner" like this.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chimpymustgo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:32 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Ouch!
But it's all a plot by KKKarl Rove, you know.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:32 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Commenting incisively, Wesley Clark noted. . .
Edited on Sun Jan-04-04 01:35 PM by Brian_Expat
"Howard Dean might talk about the Soviet Union, but does he have the experience fighting them that I had for a majority of my life in NATO? Hell no. You know something? The vast majority of my foreign policy experience was fighting in NATO against the Warsaw Pact -- nobody is more prepared to stop the Soviet threat than me! Nobody knows more about Commie Party politics!"

When asked about Dean's slip-ups over religion, Clark said:

"I think it's sad that Dean has to bring religion into this election. I am for faith. Faith in me. I am GOD! Worship me you pathetic Dean lovers! COWER IN MY SHADOW!!!"

After a sputtered coughing fit, Clark looked a bit red in the face.

Joe Lieberman had no comment -- sources said he was still recovering from a coronary over Wes Clark's comments. :evilgrin:

Hey Dancing Bear, this is fun! Thanks for starting the thread! Great way to have a little fun and let out a little steam. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. What you said


:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Goodness, for people calling for "humor". . .
. . . you sure are a humorless lot. Remember, "anger doesn't win elections." ;)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TeacherCreature Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
20. we should be concerned?
You think we should be concerned with mistaking a book in the bible?

Now that is funny.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
funky_bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #20
38. Dean lie
Am I mistaken, or did HD begin his statement by saying he knew the bible? Since he obviously didn't, would that be another Dean lie?

This is a man who is going to prance around the South claiming he knows a thing or two about religion, and in the name of the Democratic party, expect these bible thumpers NOT to notice that he pulled Job out of his ass.

He's pandering or he's lying. Which is it?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TeacherCreature Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
16. Quasi is correct
was there humor here?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Toucano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
18. Both are funny.
I'm amused by both the Dean and Clark entries on this thread. :)

Thanks.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DuctapeFatwa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:38 PM
Response to Original message
21. Dean opponent Rev. Al Sharpton moved quickly to challenge Dean

to a "Bible Drill." According to unnamed sources at the Institute of Rural Protestant Studies, a Bible Drill is a no-holds-barred competition involving chapters and verses being shouted at the contestants, who must shout back the actual text of the verse within .03 nanoseconds.

While Sharpton critics were outraged, "You don't see Dean asking Al to take out an appendix," several Dean supporters chorused, prompting Sharpton to remind the assembled press that he "hadn't said he knew anything about stomachs, either, except how to fill one up," upon which the portly clergyman candidate made a beeline for the Dennis Kucinich press conference, apparently in response to rumors that the Ohio congressman was once again treating everyone to his trademark "Croatian Tofu Pirogies," which Kunich has consistently insisted "do too taste just like chicken," despite some very eloquent statements from John Kerry that "they do not either, but I want to say here and now to the American people that if John Kerry is elected, they will."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Brian_Expat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 03:24 PM
Response to Reply #21
28. Hahahaha, that's great
Good to see people still have a sense of humor. :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
salin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #21
31. LOL
That even tops the first ones. Call me crazy but they all make me chuckle.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DancingBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #21
33. Nothing "quasi" about this one

That is funny!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DuctapeFatwa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 09:51 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week

:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
22. What does "quasi" mean?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
moz4prez Donating Member (591 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. near, kind of
implies ambiguity
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. Is near-humor like near-beer?
Near-burp.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
moz4prez Donating Member (591 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. sort of
but the near-beer makes you feel funnier.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. It's not how funny you feel, it's how funny you look.
Near-laugh.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
salin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #22
32. just pretend that it is the new cool weapon
in your T4 movie... terminator does sacramento. Because that will bring about a whole lot of quasi-humor.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. OK, but what do you call it
when you kind of celebrate the African-American
holidays around Christmas time in kind of one
of those huts they had around WWII?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
maxr4clark Donating Member (639 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
24. I may be wrong...
but I think this thread is exactly the kind of thing the DU was trying to cut down on. Is there a place to report such threads?

Folks, none of your humor reflects well on the candidate you support.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
eileen_d Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-04-04 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
29. I thought quasi-humor was still funny.
Guess not.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
drfemoe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-04 01:46 AM
Response to Reply #29
41. some of it was hysterical
n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Wed Jul 30th 2014, 04:38 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC