How do you bring about change in your life?

[idgiehkt]

Serious question. I'm curious about it because it seems like people have very different ways of looking at it. Do you plunge head-first into it like a linebacker and push push push until you've beaten reality into submission...or do you have a kind of Taoist outlook of waiting for just the right moment, and not until, when you can bring about the changes you want? Do you look at life lessons like a series of koans to be figured out, and only until that is done will 'the teacher' whomever that is, let you move on? Do you think the Serenity prayer covers it? Just wondering...I am having deep thoughts today.

[undeterred]

1. It starts with your mind.

Even the things that seem like luck always happen as the result as a change in thinking. Changing ourselves usually comes first from a change in self-awareness and then a decision to do things differently in our behavior. I don't think its usually one big moment but more often a lot of little decisions that point in a new direction.

[idgiehkt]

2. so you are an

affirmation/mind control type person?

Interesting. I went through a Louise Hay period and she is heavy on the affirmations and all that "the universe can only do what you tell it to do" kind of stuff.

[undeterred]

4. I wouldn't say that- I was just speaking from experience

I guess I would have to say that my thoughts changed after or as a result of life experiences or events and then I changed my behavior. I guess its more of a "dialectical" thing.

[idgiehkt]

6. awesome,

that's even better.

experience -> change in thoughts -> changed behavior -> change in reality.

cool.

[Nikia]

3. Just do it

The right moment is constantly passing us by. Unless there is a clear obstacle that will pass, the time to do things is now.

[idgiehkt]

7. linebacker?

I've been this way at differnt times in my life. A caveat I like to add is something a friend told me: "just put one foot in front of the other and if you hit a brick wall for God's sake turn right or left. That last part is the one I have trouble with, because I always find myself trying to soldier through the brick walls when I am linebackering.

[Nikia]

9. Your friend probably has the right idea

The way from here to there isn't always a straight line.

[leftofthedial]

5. one little thing at a time

makes it harder to procrastinate

[idgiehkt]

8. that's one I forgot

eating the elephant one bite at a time.

It's true that doing those little things can really keep big crises from happening in your life. :)

[Lyric]

10. If you figure it out, let me know.

I made some startling impulsive changes when I was younger, but it's harder now that I'm more settled, with less energy to deal with the aftermath of change. It's so much easier just to keep going in the same routine, even if it's not good for me.

[idgiehkt]

11. I know.

I know, I know, I know. Believe me sister, I know.

And the scary thing is, if someone showed up tomorrow and said, hey, you wanna move to, say, Fiji, I'd probably do it. I am much better at nuking my life by blowing it up than I am by hanging around and taking steps forward one day at a time. I don't know what the answer is, and I'm not sure at this point if you ever get to know them.

[Wapsie B]

12. I look at life as a series of lessons

and you don't move on as a person until you've learned the lesson at hand. Relationships, wondering why you keep attracting the same kind of unfulfilling partners over and over is a prime example. The work will not let us move on until we see our mistakes and learn from them.

[idgiehkt]

14. that's where I am at, the koan type outlook

I may not always be here but that is definitely where I am stuck right now. These past three years have been like that; I have never had to surrender and just 'wait' for answers more than this time.

[Wapsie B]

16. It's easy to say that you'll simply change the way you think,

but in reality it's not easy at all. If that were the case there'd be no need for weight-loss clinics, shrinks, 12-step programs or many other things that deal with the human consciousness. I have had to struggle with depression (which I'm slowly beating btw) before any real changes could happen in my life, and believe me there's a number of them I need to make. I don't know if it's surrender and wait as much as it is being in tune with yourself and being able to listen to what your gut is telling you. I wish you well in your progression to where you want to be.

:)

[Deja Q]

13. Waiting for the right moment... and ignoring the ambient reality of reality.

Which is easier to do regarding learning than it is for socialization.

[idgiehkt]

15. yep

some moments are definitely 'righter' than others, I've learned that the hard way.

[crispini]

17. It depends on whether or not you know the change you want to accomplish.

Seriously. If you can articulate your goal, and if you have a clear hunger for your goal and can keep tapping into that, then you're halfway there. At that point, it becomes a sort of exercise in determination more than anything else... like you said, push push push. And also, doing a little bit towards the goal every day.

But if you DON'T know what the goal IS... ah, well, then that becomes a wee bit trickier.

In that case, you can't do much, I think, except put the determination out there to the universe, look at the problem sideways and sort of chew it over every now and then, and sort of wait for a sign to point you in the next direction. :P

[idgiehkt]

28. yeah, I'm just kind of trying to get a feel for what everyone else does

"In that case, you can't do much, I think, except put the determination out there to the universe, look at the problem sideways and sort of chew it over every now and then, and sort of wait for a sign to point you in the next direction."

interesting.

[SPKrazy]

18. I Think

that when the student is ready the pupil appears

don't know how that happens except that like attracts like.

I think we are drawn to those who are reflections of ourselves in a way. Even on the internets somehow.

I think that change occurs when we get to a point that we quit fighting change.

It's like the idea that a monkey with flash cards could give us what we need when we are ready


B-)

[idgiehkt]

27. I SO needed to hear that tonight

"when the student is ready the teacher appears"

fuckety fuck. man. I must be damned ready then.

[SPKrazy]

33. Fuckety Fuck Man!

mebbe you are ready

the teacher will appear

it's your job to keep your eyes and ears open

fuckety fuck man -that made me laugh hard!

:rofl:

oh, and I didn't make that quote up

Richard Bach, Illusions had that quote

if you haven't read Bach, you would do well to try Illusions and Jonathan Livingston Seagull

two very cool books

[idgiehkt]

44. I'm ready to learn this goddamn lesson and get on with it

It's going on six months and I am tired of being in pain. This thread was just a general survey on how others bring about change in their lives, just because I'm knowing there are different ways of looking at things. But now it's the middle of the night and you know how I get sometimes ( :cry: ) and now it's just feeling personal and I'm wanting to change NOW.

:rofl: :cry: :rofl:

Years ago I read Jonathan Livingston Seagull, I do remember that quote, I just though it was Buddhist or something.

[SPKrazy]

50. I Think That Bach

is very eclectic in his spiritual beliefs.

Seagull seemed somewhat Buddhist, or Hindu

Illusions is very different

books he wrote after that are sequels in a way, same characters but more evolved ideas of his spirituality. Very non-dogmatic, and non Christian for sure.

Interesting books

Hang in there Idg!

:hug: :yourock:

[crim son]

19. Brute force.

Otherwise it won't happen for me. You and your deep thoughts. :hug: :loveya:

[idgiehkt]

29. good to hear

definitely not one of my favorites, but if all else fails...

:loveya:

[SPKrazy]

38. Try Brute Force

on diarrhea (sorry not a body functions statement just making some kind of point here, really)
:rofl:


willpower pointed in the right direction will work, toughness does count.



:hug: :loveya:

hang tough, but let go, and don't sweat the small stuff!

[BarenakedLady]

20. Right now?

Slowly, cautiously, taking all my options into serious consideration. It is a lot harder now that I don't have just myself to worry about. I haven't come up with any answers yet.

[idgiehkt]

30. I know it is

alot tougher when you have kids. :hug:

[Catshrink]

21. Adopt a new critter...

Everytime I've brought a new cat or dog into my home my life has changed. With a new kitten, I laugh more and make excuses to play. With a new dog, it's more exercise and fresh air. Somehow this makes psychic changes to my life but I'm not eloquent enough to put it into words.

Right now, I'm looking at 2 of my cats and my little dog and wondering what life would be like without any of them -- even the two cats who seem to live under the bed. Each has its own little charms and personality that warm my heart and enrich my life.

[idgiehkt]

31. that's an interesting thought

hmmm.

I definitely don't need any new ones, though. :)

[conscious evolution]

22. Thru conscious evo;ution

Thats what worked for me.

[idgiehkt]

32. through you?

definitely, work your magic, lol.

[Dangerously Amused]

23. Idgie you silly! It's sooo easy!

See...?

[idgiehkt]

34. *slaps forehead*

duh, should have known. ;)

[skygazer]

24. For me, it's always happened with movement

Stepping away from the familiar and diving into the unknown. My biggest change was when I chucked everything and left Vermont for California - I think being far from the familiar as well as my own past history helped me to be free of it and look at everything from a fresh perspective. It's certainly changed much about me and for the better. While I myself remain basically the same person, I'm able to look forward (which I was never able to do before, being weighed down by outside events) and I'm happier, mentally healthier and much more secure, both in my opinion of myself and financially.

I think it's often hard to change things in your life when you're surrounded by all the things that have brought those things you want to change into it. If that makes any sense. But I also think different things work for different people and the hard part is finding what works for you. I'm glad I did.

[idgiehkt]

35. this makes total sense

"I think it's often hard to change things in your life when you're surrounded by all the things that have brought those things you want to change into it." I'm not gonna try to articulate just how it does but I know exactly where you are coming from.

[HEyHEY]

25. Depends on the changes

Much of it has to do with thinking about who you want to be. What you want to do. Then take the righ steps to figure out how to achieve that. I was an alcoholic for years. Reason being I was self medicating my mental illness.... and naturally that doesn't work. So I had to get to the point where I understood I had a condition and that I wasn't going to be able to help myself with it. So, I went to the doctor, and was put on medication and such. I stopped drinking so much and moved on with life. The changes came when I found out what the big thing was that was bugging me. So, that's my story. As for things like career goals and what not... I'm lucky that I love work so much it was never a job to me. So, I excelled at it.

[idgiehkt]

37. I like this:

"The changes came when I found out what the big thing was that was bugging me."

Nicely put, I've found that to be true in the past too. :hi:

[Guava Jelly]

26. As soon as you know the answer

fill me in :hug:

[idgiehkt]

39. whoever finds it first

has to fess up :hug:

[gemdem]

36. I just go where the river takes me...

Sometimes it's a wild ride. Other times it's smooth and easy. And sometimes, the damned river dries up and you've got to portage the damned canoe to the next place where the river runs -- it's hard and it ain't any fun. Right now, I'm in mid-portage. It's sucktastic (for now), but that's life sometimes.

[idgiehkt]

40. sucktastic here too

only because it's been sucktastic for a number of years and I don't want to make any more wrong decisions and compound the problems I already do have. Sigh...to tired to think much more about it, but thanks for the imagery. :hi:

[gemdem]

46. Yeah, sucktastic seems to last a long time

Understand about decisions and how the bad ones seem to compound. Hang in there, with all the crap we're going through there's got to be a pony somewhere here! :hi:

[idgiehkt]

49. one of my favorite parables

lol. :hi:

[SPKrazy]

42. And If You Fight The Current

you get beat up along the way by the river

letting go and riding the river is the safer and better route

[Generic Brad]

41. Let go of fear

And realize you influence your environment, not the other way around.

[idgiehkt]

47. well, that is thought provoking

nice sig pic too.

[quiet.american]

43. Well, I do it by taking one small action at a time.

Amazingly enough, a fortune cookie I received with my lunch order last year got me to stop just thinking about what I wanted to do, and to actually take some action each day, no matter how small, to bring about the change I desire.

The cookie read, "Life is about making some thing happen, not waiting for something to happen." Granted, we all know that, but it was the right message at the right time. I vowed to take whatever action I could, each day, to accomplish my goal. I'm definitely closer to it now than when I was just in the daydream stage, waiting for it to happen. :)

[idgiehkt]

45. I love you

for making "I" statements. That is what I wanted to hear. Thanks for sharing that.

[quiet.american]

48. Cheers! n/t