The house is empty: What should I do?

[taterguy]

My baby done gone and left me, took the dogs too.

It's not a country or blues song, she just took my nieces and dogs up to the mountains for the weekend.

How should I entertain myself?

[Deja Q]

1. Well,

you could always drain the faucet if you'd like...

[taterguy]

3. Drain the faucet?

The plumbing at this house is in perfect working order of course

[Deja Q]

25. Eh, would you believe that really wasn't about the plumbing?

[AllegroRondo]

2. Isnt it required that you lounge around naked?

while watching sports on TV and drinking beer?

[taterguy]

4. Too cold to be naked

I could crank the furnace up but then I'd feel guilty after watching An Inconvenient Truth. No sports on TV at 5:17 PM Eastern Standard Time. Maybe I need to upgrade my cable package.

[seemunkee]

5. Dance naked

You'll stay warm that way.

[taterguy]

7. As if the world needs more fat naked white guys dancing . . .

Why am I being so difficult? You guys are trying to help and I'm just being a nattering nabob of negativism

[Ms_Dem_Meanor]

22. Why not dance around naked?

Nobody would know unless you leave the curtains/blinds open!!! You shouldn't even answer the phone to let anyone know that you are at home. Because if you did that, some uninvited guest will stop by and ruin your weekend!!! Enjoy yourself and here's a toast to you!!! :toast:

[Left Is Write]

6. I think running around naked is obligatory. So is drinking beer...

and watching something really stupid on television.

[taterguy]

9. I'm drinking beer

I just don't feel like getting naked because it's too damn cold

I don't feel like turning the TV on because I'm taking advantage of the empty house to listen to really loud music

[Whoa_Nelly]

8. Go wild and decorate the house for the holidays with anything and everything

while naked... :eyes:

[taterguy]

11. Now we're talking

This will be prominently displayed when they get back

[Whoa_Nelly]

19. Don't forget to drape it in Mardi Gras Bling!

And pull those shorts down in the back...a little moon on a cold winter's night is a good thing :rofl:

[taterguy]

20. This guy has the Mardi Gras bling

And he's not giving it up without a fight

[JackBeck]

10. Move everything around.

And then act like you don't know what they are talking about when they get back and start asking questions.

[petronius]

12. That's some good advice! He could make a bunch of reall small changes, too

like reversing the hot/cold faucets or replacing a couple of light switches with dimmers, and then just say "it's always been like that :shrug:" when asked...

[JackBeck]

17. I like yours too.

Now you've given me some ideas.

[taterguy]

16. That would really freak them out

My wife knows I'm lazy and that I've never moved piece of furniture unless she asked me to do it. If you don't hear from me it means she had me committed.

[JackBeck]

18. Fine. This one's REAL easy.

Do you have a spray hose on your kitchen sink? If you do, right before she gets home, use clear tape and tape the handle so that when she turns it on, she gets squirted.

[maveric]

13. I'd go the Porn and Pizza route myself.

But thats just me...

[taterguy]

21. I'd do that but I've got Heaven on my Mind

Not making this up: That's the song that showed up on my MP3 player randomizer.

OTOH: Maybe heaven is filled with Porn and Pizza

[leftofthedial]

14. make echoes

until you can't stand it anymore

[deucemagnet]

15. First, you need to build a sofa cushion fort.

Then you need to put important things, like the TV remote, beer and snacks in the fort. I'm sure you'll get more ideas after you hang out in the fort watching TV for awhile.

[taterguy]

23. And the semi-final answer is . . .

Go out, see some great live music, after soaking in the bathtub drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. With inspirational help by the Fishbone song Question of Life

See you guys in a few hours. I'm going out to see some music

[yellowdogintexas]

24. enjoy the quiet nt