"Everyone's Bi....they just haven't figured that out yet."

[Taverner]

Friend of mine said this last night - on one hand I agree. Every guy I know (including me) has had homoerotic thoughts once, twice or many times.

Whaddya think?

Oh and FTR, my friend is bi.

[Ariana Celeste]

1. I tend to believe exactly that

But then, I openly swing both ways.

[Taverner]

2. Of course you and my friend are biased :)

Heya Bassmasta....let's start a band and make a million dollars!

[Ariana Celeste]

3. it would be more like a bad comedy act with me involved

[Taverner]

4. Awww cmon me too

But that's the point of Rock and Roll ain't it? Play badly, shout your lyrics

"It's punk rock...you don't have to know how to play, you just gotta be a punk!" -Cheech

[Ariana Celeste]

5. lol i've got the look

i just need the attitude

[Taverner]

7. I've been wanting to do a Chicago meets the Clash kinda thing

Melodious Punk with a horn section - but not ska in any way shape or form

"25 or 6 to 4" was practically punk before there was punk

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. (Thinks about having sex contrary to self's orientation) Your friend is full of shit.

Tell him it's OK to be bi even though not everybody is.

[Taverner]

8. I'm not into same sex partners either

But that doesn't mean a dream didn't slip in here or there....

[zanne]

87. What does this mean?

A friend of mine recently had a lumpectomy. After she had healed awhile, she showed it to me. I was kind of disgusted; not at the scar, but at her breast. I don't like to undress with other women, either. Does that make me homophobic?

[Crankie Avalon]

9. Hmmmm, I'm not sure. There's a big difference between "fantasizing" about something...

...and actually going through with it. I mean, I've read researchers saying that many women admit fantasizing about rape, but that certainly doesn't mean they want it to happen.

Before anyone goes crazy on me, I'm not comparing gay sex to rape--I'm just saying people fantasize about all sorts of sexual scenarios they wouldn't necessarily ever want to live out.

[MissMillie]

11. and "going through w/ it" is not the same

as having an orientation to

Behavior is not orientation.

[cwydro]

42. Very good point.

[cobalt1999]

10. Any statement that begins with "Everyone..."

is wrong. There really isn't any one trait or behavior pattern that can be applied to everyone.

All I have is my opinion based on my own thoughts and experiences, those experiences lead me to believe that bisexuality is a trait of small minority in men and a larger minority in women.

[Taverner]

12. You got an excellent point

And that is an absolute

[hfojvt]

64. Everyone breathes oxygen

and drinks water

[PVnRT]

77. I breathe nitrogen

with trace amounts of argon and xenon in it.

[BarenakedLady]

13. We all fall somewhere in that Kinsey spectrum

I have no qualms about admitting to my attraction to certain females.

[Taverner]

16. Yeah...for example I have no problem saying Brad Pitt is hot

And if I were still unmarried at this point in my life, I probably would have tried crossing over just once - just to see what it was like.

[youthere]

21. *taps Taverner on shoulder* Brad Pitt...

is not "hot". At least not IMO.

[Taverner]

30. Ever seen Fight Club? n/t

[youthere]

34. the first rule is that you do not talk about fight club...

I thought he looked kind of oily and skanky.

[Left Is Write]

65. I don't think so either. I don't dislike him; I'm just not attracted to him.

[SPKrazy]

58. I don't Either, and I'd Agree With You

I think that we are all born bisexual. Varying influences from those hormonal in vivo, to those hormonal after a person is born, along with learning, all influence the directions a person goes.

I can't say I've never been attracted to a man. In fact, I think that coming to terms with that fact has made me a better person and certainly I do not suffer from homophobia at all.

[BikeWriter]

14. Uh, he's assumig a lot!

[johnnie]

15. I can honestly say I was never attracted to another man

And I never had a dream that I woke up remembering that had me with another man. But maybe I am a freak

If I did, I would say so.

[BOSSHOG]

17. Sounds like your friend might want you to hurry up and figure it out

[Richardo]

18. That's true - I've been told I speak Spanish in my sleep.

Oh. THAT kind of bi. Never mind.

[Evoman]

19. Whoa....no way....I may have sex with men every now and then, but that doesn't make me no bi.

Okay..I'm kidding.

I can safetly say that I have never been sexually attracted to men. And I'm neither religous, nor homophobic, so I don't see why I would have any difficulty in admitting I'm bi or gay if I actually was. Which I'm not. Your just gonna have to trust me on this one, lol.

[youthere]

20. Hmm..don't know about that..

I think perhaps "some" or I could even go as far as "most" but everyone? I don't think so..I know plenty of straight and gay women that would shudder at the thought of deviating from their preferred gender.
As I understand it, to be bisexual means that (in general) you are equally attracted to both sexes. Fantasizing doesn't equal attraction.
That being said, even though I am heterosexual female, I have an enormous crush on Salma Hayek and would "hit that" in a second!

[begin_within]

22. Bi now, gay later.

[jilln]

27. LOL!

[Dastard Stepchild]

23. Nope...

I think there is a difference between having a few random sexual thoughts about same sex flings and then actually having both same and hetero flings.

Not that I necessarily believe one has to DO to BE (e.g. one has to have sex to prove one is something), but I would think that one should have more than a passing thought about something to actually classify themselves as such... errrr, should they choose to classify themselves.

I'm bi, too. I tend to not go along with the notion that everyone simply is. I think it's more complex than that.

[xchrom]

24. i have members of the opposite sex in my history --

and one -- well really two -- memorable affairs with women.

but i don't identify as bi.{and i don't THINK those women would identify me as bi}

and i've had sex with straight men -- who i would not identify as bi.

and i have fooled around with bi men -- who you would think of as all over the ruler.

so to some extent -- i think your friend is right.

more, i just think -- if we can leave our culturated selves behind for two minutes -- we can find sexual pleasure with a variety of people.

[skypilot]

25. On the Kinsey Scale...

...I'm an 11.

I enjoy the sight of a pretty woman as much as anyone but I'm 42 years old and have never been sexually attracted to women.

I know that your post was addressing the issue of straight men having homoerotic thoughts but the idea that everyone is bisexual would necessarily have to mean that homosexuals all have opposite-sex sexual attractions/fantasies as well. I don't.

[begin_within]

26. I wish I was bi, for two reasons.

One is that when my straight friends start talking about women in a sexual way, I drift away mentally and I can't relate to the conversation. If I did like women in that way, I would be more interested and engaged in that conversation and thus would enjoy being friends with straight men more than I do now.

The other is that there would be more opportunities for hot dates. More to choose from.

[smitty]

32. Woody Allen once said that being bi doubles your chances on

a Saturday night.

[Deja Q]

53. I thought he said that doubles the chances of rejection...

Oops, I said that.

[nini]

28. no... there are varying degrees of sexuality

that being said there are those who are simply not attracted to the opposite sex, and those who are not attracted to the same sex as themselves at all.


Then there are the middle of the roaders.

'EVERYONE' is not correct and perhaps wishful thinking .

[Little Wing]

29. Your friend's a pompous git

[Taverner]

31. Nah I just think he's an incorrigible hedonist

[Deja Q]

54. I'm whippin' out the hot buttered popcorn!!

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

33. well if we believe Kinsey's research, then yea, 80% of people are

some varying degree of bisexual. That just means they have fantasized, dreamed, maybe had one experience with someone of the same or opposite sex (depending on which side of the bell curve they fall on), maybe even a few experiences

[Taverner]

35. Kinseys research was groundbreaking

However, his sampling methods have a lot to be desired.

He only sampled people who wanted to take part in his survey, and instead of going with a sample population, he tried to measure the WHOLE population. That might work in Zoology, but in Socioligy by the time you measure the whole population, the data is worthless.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

36. well yea, thats why I prefaced with "if you believe Kinsey's research"

but I still think it does give us some idea of the distribution of sexuality...

[Taverner]

38. Most definitely

If anything, it's great exploratory research to form a hypothesis to test...

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

39. hummm....I'd love to test this hypothesis...any volunteers?

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

37. EVERYONE is gay, it's just to what extent are you gay.

Spoken by Ron White, and it is what I believe.

[NewWaveChick1981]

40. I'm not a guy, but I'm definitely bi.

I don't know about everyone, because I have known more than one guy who has never had any inclination toward other guys. But more people are bi than will admit it, I am sure.

[SPKrazy]

59. I Agree

I think that a lot of people have fantasies, and even act on those fantasies (there wouldn't be the proliferation of places where people go to act out homosexual fantasies-adult bookstores, etc.)

[liberal hypnotist]

41. Right On!

I'm a guy. But, all my adult life I thought it might be cool to be a lesbian!

[WernhamHogg]

43. I'm not sure if I agree with your friend or not

I am a straight woman and there have been a few times in my life when I've seen another woman and thought "wow, she's really attractive", but the thought of actually having sex with another woman is a total turn off for me. I do think there are FAR more people who have an occasional attraction, thought, fantasy, dream, etc about a member of the same sex (or in the case of gay people - about the opposite sex) than are willing to admit to it...but I don't think that's true about EVERYONE.

[LanternWaste]

44. Gore Vidal wrote that there is no hetero- or homosexuality

Gore Vidal wrote that there is no hetero- or homosexuality. There is only sexual and asexual. Which seems to glide along nicely with your friend's premise.

I think it's hooey. I've had thoughts of killing people before, but I don't think that makes me a murderer. I've also had thoughts (and even fantasies) of being right-handed, but that'll never happen either.

[Zhade]

79. While murder is about killing, orientation is not about sex, it is about attraction.

Someone having a pleasant dream about sex with a same-sex partner IS a form of attraction.

[bigwillq]

45. I wouldn't say everyone but

I think I a lot of people are curious and they might take part in some form of same-gender kissing, touching, etc...

[begin_within]

46. A straight female friend of mine once said,

"It's all sex."

[cwydro]

47. I think it is more complex than just sex.

I am a gay woman, but had sex with men when I was younger and still figuring it out (back in the bad old days). I actually enjoyed sex with men, but for me it is something altogether different with a woman. It is more of an "affectional" orientation, if you will. That is really how I explain it. Yes, purely sexually I could enjoy being with a man, but there is so much more to intimacy than sex IMO.

[FedUpWithIt All]

48. "Everyone falls somewhere between homo and hetero sexuality"...

I look at it as a long sliding scale. Me, i fall just to the hetero side of center. One can fall near enough one of the end points as to show no proclivity for the opposite end of the spectrum.



Just my 2 cents.

[Shakespeare]

62. Same here. I've always thought of it as a spectrum.

And there are many colors and flavors, from end to end. Just be who you are.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

49. Not at all.

Perhaps most are, I don't know. My fiancee is full-fledged bi. I can honestly say for myself that not a single homoerotic thought has ever passed through my mind. And yes, I am perfectly comfortable with my sexuality and am not homophobic in any sense.

[Guava Jelly]

50. I am a lesbian

really

[northzax]

51. nope, fraid not

I can appreciate beauty and attractiveness in men, I can love them, I suppose, but i have absolutely no interest in men sexually. none. As much as I might have wanted to, at one point, it just doesn't get the major to stand at attention, you know?

[Deja Q]

52. Technically, I am bi...

An attraction to both genders.

There is an overall greater attraction to men than to women, but if I have 'those feelings' for a woman then I am inclined to take a chance and 'pursue'. (don't read that word in a bad way)

And, unlike what many on both sides believe, bisexuals CAN be in monogamous relationships. Serial monogamy or striving for a LTR/life-partnership (or marriage if the religion prefers it).

And there's nothing wrong with hermaphrodites or any other aspect of human sexuality.

[Deja Q]

55. I will say this.

When I came out in 1997, I made mum cry.

When I told her 4 months ago about a lady I was talking with, I was unable to detect an emotional response. She was definitely level headed. But she did ask more questions than when I told her of a potential guy 15 months ago...

She did say, regardless who I go out with, she likes to know what I am doing in my life. And that is what matters most.

[edbermac]

56. I'm bi-focal...does that count?

[dysfunctional press]

57. here is how i learned it- it has to do with turning 30...

if a guy hasn't had sex with another guy by the age of 30, then he doesn't have any interest in doing so...
whereas, if a woman hasn't had sex with another woman by the age of 30, she wants to.

or something to that effect.

[Left Is Write]

63. Hmmm. Well, I'm 40, have never had sex with a woman...

and have no particular desire to do so.

[Digit]

81. Me, neither

I once had a friend whom I found out later was bi.
Her joke about me was that she did not think I could ever be drunk enough to be with her.

Damn, if I was, I sure would have a larger dating pool from which to choose.

[EFerrari]

60. I think your friend is most likely right.

(And, btw, I KNOW where WVC is. I didn't go there once.)

[Left Is Write]

61. Having occasional homoerotic thoughts (or actions) does not make one bi.

I think everyone has experienced such thoughts at least once. However, when I think of orientation, I think in terms of people I fall in love with, people I want to have or have had long-term, loving romantic relationships with, and those people are always men.

[Tyo]

66. Someone told me once....

That the difference between a straight guy and a bi-guy is often about a quarter of a bottle of vodka. I've never tested that theory though.

[MnFats]

67. Remember the words of the Prophet Woody Allen!

Being bi doubles your chances of having a date on Saturday Night.

[SKKY]

68. It's an interesing opinion, but mostly wrong I think...

...I can safely say that I have never been physically attracted to another male. I've cared deeply
for other men (i.e. very close friends), but never in a physical sense. So, I guess there IS a
certain amount of homosexuality in everyone, and that's what allows us to develop such close
relationships with members of the same sex. But to say that Every guys has had homoerotic thoughts
once, is way to general, because I can assure you, I have never had a homoerotic thought about
another man.

[Xithras]

69. He's wrong. Sexuality is a continuum.

Kinsey's research back this up pretty well.

There are two extremes to the sexual continuum...on one side you have extreme homosexuals who are repulsed by the thought of having sex with someone of the opposite sex. On the other side you have extreme heterosexuals who are repulsed by the thought of sleeping with the same sex.

Most of us fall somewhere in between. I know several gay men who have admitted to being attracted to a woman or two in their lives. Similarly, I know straight guys who would sleep with other men if the person and situation were right. Bisexuals are simply the people who fall into the middle of the continuum and are equally attracted to both (if you weren't aware of this from my previous posts, I'm bisexual, so I speak with a little experience here). I believe that it's entirely possible to be 95% straight, but to have the occasional attraction to someone of the same sex.

The problem with the terms homosexual, heterosexual, and bisexual is that the terms assume we fall cleanly into one of the three groups. If sexuality is really a continuum, the groups concept becomes false. If someone is halfway between the "straight" extreme on one end, and the "bisexual" point in the middle of the continuum, are they straight or bi?

Personally, if we're going to continue using these terms, they should be applied based on action, not thoughts. If you're a straight guy who hooks up with one of his biker buddies once a year, you're bi. Similarly, if you're a gay man with a live in male lover, who sleeps with his sisters best friend on holidays (yep, really happened), you're not gay, you're bi. If, however, you're a gay man who only FANTASIZES about having sex with a woman, you're still gay...you're just creative. I've wondered what it would be like to be a woman a few times. That doesn't make me TG, it just makes me curious and imaginative

[Deja Q]

72. But some will still laugh at those who say they are bi but lean closer to one way.

How should they be convinced of their naivety?

[lies and propaganda]

70. i believe it.

either havent figured it out or too scared to act on it.

[nytemare]

71. I agree, to a point.

To me, it is all depends on the person.

I think that most, at one time in their life, will find someone of their own sex that they are attracted to.

[S n o w b a l l]

73. I don't know for sure...

but, I have to tell you...I've dated a lot of guys in the last couple years and I'd say a good percentage are bi or bi curious. None have ever admitted it until I brought up the subject and made them feel ok about it and told them it was a turn on. I think there are a HUGH amount of men that are but are afraid to admit it. I'm bi...and definitely not afraid to admit it.

[begin_within]

74. I think heterosexual men and women "go bi" for different reasons.

Heterosexual men often "go bi" as a sexual outlet, sometimes with no emotional connection.
Heterosexual women often "go bi" as an emotional outlet, sometimes with no sexual connection.

[S n o w b a l l]

75. You're exactly right...

Thank you..you pegged it exactly. In my case and most everyone I know.

[Redstone]

76. All the women certainly are...and I don't blame them. Who WOULDN'T prefer a nice,

soft woman over a guy?

Redstone

[bertha katzenengel]

78. Wanna hear the opinion of a Kinsey Six?

[Taverner]

83. What's a Kinsey six?

[LeftyMom]

85. Kinsey's model of sexuality

says that some people are completely oriented toward one sex or the other, but that most are somewhere in between.

1- Completely heterosexual
2- Mostly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
3- Somewhat more interested in the opposite sex
4- Somewhat more interested in the same sex
5- Mostly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6- Completely homosexual

So a kinsey 6 is somebody with zero interest in the opposite sex.

[Taverner]

88. Ahhh gotchya

[Schema Thing]

80. I disagree, but I do think MOST people are bi.

[RoyGBiv]

82. How do you define "bi"?

Is it about a physical sexual attraction? Then, no. I have no physical sexual attraction to men, at all, not on any level. I am repulsed by men physically. I am repulsed by myself, actually.

Is it about romantic attraction? Possibly. I have a male friend for whom I've had feelings that approach the romantic as defined by some.

Is it about spiritual attraction? Definitely.

Intellectual attraction? Also definitely.

I, personally, don't think homosexuality/heterosexuality/bisexuality is entirely about physical sex. The "sexuality" part of the words refers to something genetically coded, not "sex" as a physical act.

[distantearlywarning]

84. I must disagree.

I am a woman. I tried sleeping with a few women in my 20's to see what it was like. Zip, nada, zilch. It did nothing for me. It was like being with a man I had no chemistry with. And I have never been attracted to any woman in my 32 years in "that way", like I am to a lot of men. This isn't denial - I wouldn't mind if I was bi (and my husband probably wouldn't mind either, lol), but I just don't feel that way.

I would agree that MOST people might have some bi tendencies, but not all of us do.

[LeftyMom]

86. Personal expereince suggests otherwise.

I notice when women are attractive, but I don't have any interest in having sex with them. Certainly no revulsion or anything, just no interest.

[skygazer]

89. Actually, I think there's a lot of truth in that

I also think that our cultural standards and traditions make it difficult to look at it objectively. Regardless of whether it's right or wrong, there has been a longstanding cultural opinion that being attracted to the same sex is somehow wrong or deviant. I think this makes it more of a highly charged question than it would be in a society which finds nothing wrong with such behavior.

And in fact, in plenty of older societies, such behavior was accepted. I'm not an historical expert on it but I've read of times in which it was simply accepted that (mostly men) could have sexual relationships with people of either sex. Especially in male-dominated areas like armies, casual sexual encounters between men were seen as a way of simply releasing stress and sexual tension. Plenty of married Romans fooled around with young male slaves with no raising of the eyebrows. So I think a lot of it is cultural as well.