What to give a spoiled 9-year-old nephew for Christmas?

[InternalDialogue]

I've broken the spend-and-give habit with my adult relatives, but it doesn't seem fair to tell the kids, "I'm donating money in your name to an orphanage." So I still shop and wrap for my five nieces and nephews.

Still, the books and games I've given a particular nephew for the past few years (Xmas and birthdays) have gone unread or unplayed, been broken or lost, or have been otherwise wasted.

It's not my place to teach the boy a lesson -- especially one that probably wouldn't stick, knowing his parents -- by not giving him anything and saying, "What's the use? You don't appreciate what you have." But I wonder if there's a "non-gift gift" that I can give him this year. Ideas?

[evlbstrd]

1. A good smack.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

2. Well, I was gonna say an 1/8 of reefer, but smack works too

:P

[InternalDialogue]

10. Yeah, 'cept he'd probably be OK with it.

I'd have to raise the stakes each year.

"Merry Christmas 2009, nephew! The antidote is in another of the presents beneath the tree."

[ghostsofgiants]

3. Gift card to a toy store?

[LeftyMom]

7. Unactivated gift card to a toy store?

:evilgrin:

[InternalDialogue]

9. Ooh, that's a tempting idea.

Make him crawl to me and beg for a little while.

[MrCoffee]

4. give him a savings bond...

he can look at it for a few years...maybe by the time it matures he will too.

[LeftyMom]

5. Clothes.

Spoiled kids think it means you don't like them. Unspoiled kids just think it means you don't want them to go to school naked. ;)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. Gift Card.

You can never go wrong with a gift card. And it sounds like it would be perfect for this spoiled little kid. His parents NEED to teach him a lesson.
Duckie

[InternalDialogue]

12. I think I'm leaning that way.

Why spend the effort up front for something he'll spit on?

I can probably push him in a productive direction as well, with the right card.

[China_cat]

8. Underwear and/or socks.

It's a gift that definitely won't be considered as such by the kid.

And if you really want it to make a statement, make the underwear at least 2 sizes too small.

[QMPMom]

11. How about "adopting" an animal in his name? Here's a link:

http://wildlifeadoption.defenders.org/site/PageServer?pagename=adopt06_wolf&s_src=WHY07WDADOPT&s_subsrc=WHY07WDADOPT_web

[InternalDialogue]

13. Nice!

I'm always looking for worthy organizations to donate to on behalf of my adult family. That's a good one for all the animal lovers. Thanks!

[QMPMom]

14. You are very welcome.

Wedding gifts to all our nieces and nephews are donations to Heifer.org. It's a good thing. (Plus DH likes to piss off his sister.)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

21. That's just what I was going to suggest

My 8 year old loves adopting animals!

[Redstone]

15. How about a shot to the chops? Might straighten him out.

Redstone

[InternalDialogue]

17. I'm so tempted -- and I see him only three or four times a year

Words don't work with this boy.

[Redstone]

19. Just make sure his parents aren't looking, and deliver the backhand. He will NOT give

you any trouble after that.

Redstone

[jmm]

16. A gift card to a book store

A lesson may not stick but as long as he doesn't get O'Reilly's kids book ;-) his options will be limited to something positive.

[Gormy Cuss]

18. Give him what you feel is appropriate, but don't be surprised if he still rejects it.

Even a gift card can produce a whine about it not being enough money for what he wants, or it's not valid at the right store, or it's too much bother to go look for something. Give him something as modest and safe as you can, like a box of favorite cookies and attach a savings bond or a heifer project sponsorship. You aren't going to please a spoiled child unless his parents are vested in unspoiling him too.

[InternalDialogue]

20. Thank you for the thoughts.

"You aren't going to please a spoiled child unless his parents are vested in unspoiling him too."

It's what we all know, isn't it? I wouldn't want to try to change him if I didn't love him, but it's never that simple.

:hi:

[Sequoia]

22. Coal

[GoddessOfGuinness]

23. Your time.

Maybe he just really needs someone to not give him more stuff to entertain himself with. Maybe you could give him a card that contains a promise to take him to play mini-golf, or see a movie, or have a picnic.

Depends on the kid, of course, and your proximity to him.

Just a thought... :hi:

[InternalDialogue]

28. I know he'd love an afternoon of fun, or a trip to see something with me.

After seeing him at Thanksgiving, I put le grande chippe on my shoulder about spending time with him. Something like you mention would probably be the absolute best thing, but I'll need to get over my own pride to do it.

Thanks for the idea. It's a good one. :hi:

[crim son]

24. Oh, a book.

Sadly, to most kids that's a non-gift, but not one anybody would dare criticize.

[martymar64]

25. A turd sized lump of coal

Another option: Donate some toys to needy kids in his name.

[InternalDialogue]

29. I'll have to shop around for the coal.

But I could really easily give him a coal-sized lump of turd.

:evilgrin:

[mac56]

26. Get him a library card.

I think you can sign a kid up without him being there.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. A book on etiquette for teens and children

such as this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Etiquette-Self-Improvement-Children-Teens/dp/0967531802/sr=1-1/qid=1164758543/ref=sr_1_1/104-0155016-9446311?ie=UTF8&s=books

I especially like this one, but it's designed for someone probably just a couple years older than the little shit you're buying for, age-wise, and, more than likely, he might be about 5 years too young, emotional maturity-wise. But this is a great book, with some very funny "not to do" stuff as well:

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Etiquette-Self-Improvement-Children-Teens/dp/0967531802/sr=1-1/qid=1164758543/ref=sr_1_1/104-0155016-9446311?ie=UTF8&s=books

[Anarcho-Socialist]

30. The O'Reilly Factor for kids

No sorry, that would be cruel.

[spindrifter]

31. How about a membership

to some local attraction--aquarium, zoo, children's theatre, skate park, or something along those lines--or lessons--something ihe might be interested in--ice skating, a couple of months of guitar lessons, etc.

[ikojo]

32. Considering he has not read or played

with anything you have bought in recent years, I'd get him NOTHING!!

[Dukkha]

33. "Scared Straight" on DVD

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00009Y3V5/ref=pd_cp_d_title/105-5909555-8720431

[democracyindanger]

36. "Faces of Death" on DVD.

Any one in the series will do.

[InternalDialogue]

38. OK, that made me laugh.

:spray:


Good lord, he'd love that though.

[Porcupine]

34. Electric guitar and mini-amp.

The parents spoiled him; let them suffer some before he's set free on the rest of us.

[lizziegrace]

35. or a drumset...

:evilgrin:

[youthere]

37. Here's an Idea...

Buy the child a copy of some classic novel and neatly tuck a note in the pages that says something like..
"I love you very much, and I spent a lot of time picking out this copy of ------ for you. I realize that a classic novel isn't a very grand present for a wonderful nephew such a yourself so just call me after you read this note and I will send you a check for twenty dollars.
Much love,

InternalDialogue"

That way when the little shit throws the book under his bed he's basically throwing twenty bucks away.

[InternalDialogue]

39. What a good idea!

Satanic activity aside, he does like to read -- that's why I've bought him books in the past. A thin slip of paper 150 pages into the book would go unnoticed until you got to that page.

I think I'm going to give that a try. Thanks, youthere.

And to think, I was torn between turd-sized coal and slapping him!

[youthere]

40. No problem...I also suffer from the spoiled ungrateful nephew syndrome.

[Nicole]

44. That's a great idea!

I wish I had thought of it for some of my relatives.

[jakefrep]

41. A Lee Greenwood Christmas album

or socks. Take your pick.

[Generic Brad]

42. Knit him a man thong

Young boys love them because it helps them feel manly, and the homemade touch shows him you care.

[u4ic]

43. Bunny pajamas

He'll be begging you not to send any more presents...:D

[yellowdogintexas]

45. so does his parental unit have any tips as to what he is currently

"into" ? Is he a dinosaur nut? Does he like sports? Does he hate school?

Maybe he just needs some Legos or something. Nine year old boys love to build stuff.

some kids don't take good care of their stuff and others do, and it isn't about being spoiled they just don't do it.

Mine still had toys at 10 in great condition from ages 4 and 5. My own sister on the other hand did well to keep a toy intact for 6 months. We had a whole box full of Barbie dolls in various stages of dismemberment. (Made for some funny jokes on the part of me and my mom (Barbie zombies, Barbie graveyard, Barbie Frankensteins etc))

some kids just hate books. period. But give them a dinosaur and they are in hog heaven. LOL my niece who is NOT spoiled once said she would like something from me that wasn't educational....and she wasn't being ungrateful at all. So I found out what she really liked.

So you could give him a gift card for a trip to the zoo, with you and a meal at his favorite place, or some movie dates, sporting event if he likes that. The best way to give a kid a gift they will appreciate is to get to know them!

lecture is over, class dismissed and good luck.