Radio_Lady and Friends: A woman writer shares her thoughts along the path of life...

[Radio_Lady]

Dawn Taylor, a former Californian, happily married and in her 40s, and one of our best movie critics here in Portland, Oregon. She frequently captures the essence of things in her Live Journal posts. I've become quite enamored of her journal writings, even beyond her reviews.

Here is what she was thinking about on one particular afternoon. Perhaps you'd like to comment on this subject.

PS. Dawn's picture is here.


Dawn looks beautiful -- with her shiny red hair and an enigmatic glance behind those dark glasses. She's also smart as a whip and funny, too.

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Am I There Yet?
Oct. 24th, 2006 at 4:16 PM

The thing about life, the thing that I've been thinking about a lot lately, is that you're never really done. There are mileposts that you reach along the way, but otherwise it's just this neverending highway that just stretches on and on and on. It's like a road trip with no concrete destination, which is why I've been feeling so frustrated and aimless lately. Because every time I have a goal, even if I achieve that goal there's just always more things to do.

A long, long time ago, I worked as a waitress. I worked as a waitress at the coffee shop that Tarantino used in Pulp Fiction, in fact, though that's not germane to this anecdote. It was a pretty awful job, but there were things I liked about it. I enjoyed dealing with customers, except when they were total assweasels (as some people are to waitrons) and I liked that, at the end of the day, I'd count up all my tickets and turn them in, split my tips with the busboys and then go home -- I was done for the day. There's no take-home work in waitressing.

When I was in the kitchen, I'd see the no-green-card Hispanic guys hosing off the plates and shoving them in the big silver dishwasher, taking the clean plates out the other end and stacking them up, only to get another load of dirty plates to hose off ... over and over. I knew that I'd hate that job, because it was never finished. This was a 24-hour establishment, so at the end of the shift as a dishwasher you'd just walk away and clock out, and someone else would take over scraping/hosing/shoving/stacking. The job was never done. Ever.

Now I know that life is a lot like being a dishwasher in a 24-hour coffee shop. It's never done. Every time you accomplish something there's a next level to try for, and another one after that. When I was a barista, I wanted to be a writer. I was lucky enough to fall into a part-time writing job. So then I wanted a full-time writing job. When I got that, there were other, bigger, better newspapers to write for. And I applied for a job as a film critic ... and when I got that, I discovered that there were better critics than me, better outlets to work for ... or books to write ... or interviews to get ...

You're never There yet, because there isn't any There. I want to finish my novel. Is that There? No, because then I'll need an agent, and that's not There because then it needs to be published. And that's not There, because then I'll have to write another one. And so it goes.

Of course, eventually you die. Which, I guess, is the ultimate There. I'm not ready for that yet. But some days it just feels like everything is a lot of work with no conclusion. I'd just like to feel finished once in awhile. Like every accomplishment really means something and isn't just a turkey sandwich at Denny's during an endless road trip to nowhere.
--

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. This strikes me as pretty cynical.....

I mean, life is a journey!

And that is how it has the most meaning for me.....

Death is the end of that journey, unless you believe in the afterlife.

So you must make your own meanings as you travel. And enjoy them!

I try to do just that. I want to live and love and create...

And so I do.......and these things make up my journey...

Good luck to your friend!

[Radio_Lady]

3. Hello, Peggy! Yes, it is somewhat cynical. But do you ever get seized

up with the "What's it all about, Alfie?" feeling? So many goals met and many missed and still it goes on and on. I like to tell my husband, "The day I croak, you'll have to face dishes in the sink and the dirty laundry in the hamper -- and you'll have to do them yourself eventually." It's just a light-hearted glimpse into the future, because all of our personal relationships are eventually terminated by death or divorce.

I've just returned from my 50th High School reunion. I've had several weeks to think about myself, my friends, lovers, and husbands -- and the people with whom I went to high school. There were 400 of us in Orlando, and many have come through terrible plights and just have to struggle along with this thing we call life. My husband quipped that he'll be glad to come to my 75th Reunion and he's such an optimist that I'm sure he believes we'll last that long. I'm 67 -- you do the math...

So, ultimately, what do we have to show for all of this? Like you, I try to enjoy every day. I went swimming for TWO HOURS this morning and then my daughter made some delicious soup and cornbread, and we got to see our two cute grandkids. Then, I took a nap and tonight, I'm enjoying YOU and the DU.

Thanks for posting your comments. By the way, I try to always look at your pictures. They are universally beautiful.

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[bridgit]

2. Shades of Yogi Berra, "It ain't over till it's over"

[Radio_Lady]

4. I don't want to wait until "the fat lady sings" -- for obvious reasons.

Right now, I'm starting my annual Hallowe'en to New Year's Day diet. Down in Florida, I managed to swim, walk, and sweat off four pounds!

I do love to sing, 'though.

[bridgit]

6. getting right is always good, but a guy laid this on me the other day...

and it made me smile, "It ain't over till the fat lady picks her teeth" never heard it said quite that way made me giggle but yeah, till it's over it just keeps rolling along like the Mississippi River

[Radio_Lady]

7. Personally, I use dental floss, thank you very much...

From the musical "Showboat" --

"Old man river, dat old man river, he jest keeps rolling along."
"Bend your knee and and bow your head
And pull that rope until you're dead."

Another musical -- we can't recall the title:

"Up in the morning, out on da job
Work like de Devil for my pay
But dat lucky old sun
Ain't got nothin' to do.
But roll around heaven all day."

These songs were sung by black folks.

[bridgit]

8. yep, that's the one alright, and i'm with you...

i'm a dental floss kinda gal yep also if while written by: Oscar Hammerstein II & Jerome Kern...i love the story-line in Showboat very poignant

[struggle4progress]

10. Personally, I'll go with Paul Robeson's version of Ol' Man River:

Tote that barge and lift that bail
You show a little grit and you land in jail
But I keep laughin instead of cryin
I must keep fightin until I'm dyin


He, of course, had the status to refuse to follow the libretto

[Radio_Lady]

12. I appreciate your relating that to us. Thanks for posting.

I can still hear his voice echoing in my brain.

I also recall the day he died in 1976.

His biography is here if you wish to read it:

http://www.cpsr.cs.uchicago.edu/robeson/bio.html

[Radio_Lady]

5. In Miami, there was a donut shop on Biscayne Boulevard. in the 1950s.

It was the Mayflower Donut Shop -- and they had a logo of a big fat baker handing a donut to a small child.

During college, I drove by that place frequently and stopped there for breakfast once in a while.

I think this message was on the outside of the restaurant, as well as on their menu:

"As you ramble on through life, brother,
Whatever be your goal.
Keep your eye upon the donut
And not upon the whole."

I've always thought that was a very optimist credo. The people at Dunkin' Donuts took it a step further when they introduced "Munchkins" -- essentially the donut hole itself, made into somethin' scrumptious.

[Kat45]

9. It's the journey that's important.

Always learning, evolving, seeing, and doing. The "goal" is never as all-important as it seems. Enjoying what is, not worrying about what will or won't be, is what is important.

[Radio_Lady]

11. "Today is a present..." I've always loved the complete quote:

Yesterday is History.
Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a gift.

That's why we call it the Present.

by Eugénie des Alpages

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls, family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass.

If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will be never the same. You must understand that, and strive for balance in your live. How?

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different, that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people seem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Dont' take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as they were your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or in the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfekt. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time.

The quickest way to receive love is to give. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly. The best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.

Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is wightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

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Yesterday is History.
Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a gift.

That's why we call it the Present.

by Eugénie des Alpages

[marzipanni]

14. Radio_Lady., thank you for posting "Today is a gift..."

I was listening to God Talk (Church of the Holy Donut), Bernie Ward's early Sunday morning radio program, and got up to look at DU before my husband and son get on the computer!
I liked "Today is a Gift" so much that I emailed it to Bernie and asked his producer if she could print it and give it to him. Now it is 6:48 am so he will be on 2+ more hours if you happen to see this and would like to listen to it.
http://www.kgoam810.com/listenlive.asp

[Radio_Lady]

15. Thank you, Marzipanni. I've never heard Bernie Ward and will

try to listen.

Thanks for the link.

[marzipanni]

13. The pleasure in the trip is not just in the destination

but in the getting there, like what CaliforniaPeggy said. When I wash dishes, I like to think of all the other people around the world who are also washing dishes (also I listen to some radio programs that I like while in the kitchen). I used to go to a laundromat where the young woman who owned it had put up several mural-sized photographs of people from around the world doing their laundry, in rivers, in washbasins with washboards, etc...usually there were several woman doing their washing together and enjoying the camaraderie, which does seem sorely lacking in our modern society full of conveniences.
Here is a little youtube film I found that makes me feel very lucky.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C-u6kdHuXE&mode=related...

[Radio_Lady]

16. Ah, yes. I have thought many times about women and their duties

around the world.

After all, we must take care of ourselves and our families. Drudgery is part of it, but there are so many beautiful and positive moments, too. Just to see the white azaleas still in bloom in our front garden this late in the year! How extraordinary!

Our trip to Florida was quite spectacular and going to a 50th High School Reunion is very interesting -- a bittersweet memory of the past and still the future beckons as long as we are alive. We were in a class of 400 and we are vowing to meet again every five years.

Take care of yourself, and others, too.

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[Haole Girl]

17. I finally took the time to read this

It struck me as a little sad. I took it as the writer saying she thought achieving goals in life would provide her with a pinnacle feeling, of sorts. And, it seems as though she has an unsettled feeling about why she is who she is.

Sometimes, when I read things like Dawn Taylor's Journal posts, I'm just glad I am an underacheiver...happy with life's simple pleasures. And, when I wonder about what "accomplishment" might mark my existence, I try to remember the people I've helped in my life.

[Radio_Lady]

19. Once in a while, I reflect on the fact that I even had a chance to be born!

There were so many other people my parents could have married... would I then be half of some other people or what?

Then, there are those millions and millions of sperm my Dad contributed, and one of hundreds of eggs my mother produced.

They might have waited until they were older, or the world was in better shape (instead of conceiving and bearing me just thirteen months after they were married in 1938). At that moment, my mother was only 19 years old. I've been told I was an "accident" and conceived under an apple tree. In fact, apples are one of my favorite fruits.

If you accept the esoteric and quintessential theory of "soul reassignment," then the accident of birth might be even more profound -- I could have been born in another part of the world, or of different parents and another race. (PS: The way I love cold weather, I could have easily been an Eskimo, or that's what my husband says!)

In another country, I could have died very young of a number of diseases, grown to maturity but been unable to work, or had parents who were illiterate, or I might never have known the pleasure of a comfortable life. At age 67, I'm looking back at the most productive years of my life now, and I have had at least a modest success at my chosen profession. I've ended up with a decent and devoted mate, but it took a lot of hard work and many tears to get through the parade of men that came before.

A lot of it was luck, as they say, "being in the right place at the right time." Or chance? Or preordained? Who knows?

Ultimately, it's been a life that's going along at a great rate. With good health, good friends, and good news at the DU! So, would I have traded this life with all its "slings and arrows" for another life? I don't think so. And I certainly wouldn't have passed up that chance of not being born at all.

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[skygazer]

18. Well, I rather like road trips with no destination

It's funny - I guess I never looked at life and goals as something with finite endings. I mean, the ending of life is death but I don't know if it's really an ending and that right there makes it interesting to me. Not that I'm in a hurry to get there - I'm busy enjoying the ride. And though it's not been an easy one, and there have been many detours, and breakdowns and unexpected events along the way, I find that more interesting than I think I'd find a clear, straight highway with a big sign at the end saying "YOU ARE THERE." Because then what is there?

Roger Waters, a thoughtful and insightful man, has remarked that one of the big reasons the band Pink Floyd broke up is because they DID "get there." They achieved what they set out to do which was to become a phenomenally successful rock and roll band. And they all felt deflated by the experience. They all wondered what the hell they could do that could possibly top that, or even equal it. It's like the rest of their lives have been sort of an anticlimax. Who wants that?

[Radio_Lady]

20. On a lighter note, this adorable cartoon (in view of the medium we in which we are communicating)...