have you ever had to confront your worst fear?

[idgiehkt]

What is it and how did you get through it? Mine is being trapped, in any way, shape or form, and I am probably going to have to confront that one at the end of this month (long story). But has anyone had to face down their worst phobia or fear and get through it?

(take pity on me people, I've watched every video posted in the Lounge tonight, please don't let this drop, I'm skeered. )

[BarenakedLady]

1. No

And I can't even imagine it. If you can do it, more power to you and you will have my undying admiration.

[idgiehkt]

3. thanks so much

I won't have any choice, my actions (inactions) have led me to this point and it doesn't look like I'm gonna get a miracle. I have been freaking out for a while, but I am even more freaked out lately.

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Flying is really my worst fear. I used to love it, until the kids were

born. It's the fear of having the worst happen, having my kids look up at me and knowing I couldn't do anything to protect them. I fly though... because I won't let it keep me from my loved ones. I am okay, once the takeoff is over and we are at cruising altitude...it's that killer 5 minutes when anything awful could happen. I hope it goes well for you.

[idgiehkt]

5. you are a better woman than I.

I'm 38 and have never flown. I think that is so valid, they say more people die in car accidents, but hell, you have a better shot at SURVIVING a car accident than you do a plane accident...at least that's how I see it.

[Radio_Lady]

24. Mrs. Grumpy, I have had a fear of flying since I was a teenager.

However, U.S. Air used to sponsor a "Fear of Flying" course at Boston's Logan Airport and my husband bought it for me as a present years ago.

Nine weeks of desensitization, psychological re-conditioning, and discussion got me to a much better place. The class was taught by a psychologist and a retired pilot. They gave us a book on "Fear of Flying" and a cassette tape with relaxation exercises on it.

We met at the airport each week (some people found just driving to the airport terrifying...), we also went up in the air control tower (pre-9/11, remember) and watched the controllers at their work. One night, we went through an "aborted takeoff" -- pilot revs the engine to get almost to speed, and then brings the plane to a controlled stop. I was terrified of that one night, but found it OK when I was relaxed. I also found that my level of anxiety was much lower than some of the other people who were taking the course. It was helpful to be of comfort to them.

Graduation was a flight from Boston to Albany, New York on a clear November 9th evening (my mother's birthday, so I remember it). Each of us got a chance to go into the cockpit and look out the front window. We didn't land in Albany, but just turned around and flew back to Boston. It was just the most beautiful evening -- we celebrated with cake and champagne when we got back to the airport that evening.

I'll always be thankful I took that course. Now I fly without a problem. Like you, I dreaded take-off, and now my husband usually holds my hand and tells me, "We're just going to jump into the air." I find that idea quite comforting. Much of my problem is rooted in "loss of control" issues. I don't like general anesthesia, either -- and rarely drink much alcohol.

Unfortunately, the extra security at airports these days is a bit more cumbersome, but if I'm really having a problem, I take a small dose of Xanax, an anti-anxiety medication, but not enough to put me out.

I still have claustrophobia in elevators (have been "stuck" twice in elevators, but all turned out OK) and I also don't like to be in large and unruly crowds. In these situations, I try to use my "mantra" that we were taught in the flying class, to get through the time.

The mantra is: "I can do anything for a short time."

[mike_c]

4. yes and no....

I mean, I've confronted many fears in my life, but it's hard to say whether any were my "worst" fears-- that's kind of a moving target. Still, the one thing I can say about all of them is that ANTICIPATING the confrontation is far worse than actually doing it-- in most every case, once things get rolling you're sort of swept along by events and you just deal with them as best you can. But the actual event is nearly always less painful than the anticipation.

[idgiehkt]

6. in this case

it won't be. It's going to be utter and complete pure and hopeless hell for an extended period of time...I'm not so much worried about the events themselves but their effect on me because I am held together by paperclips and rubberbands right now anyway, and I think this might be the straw that breaks the camel's back or something. Sorry, depressing.

[rockymountaindem]

13. Would you like to say what the problem is?

If it would make you feel better...

It sounds like you're going to prison or something.

[idgiehkt]

18. lol.

I never thought about that, although I might as well be. Nope, no jail, not really.

[Haole Girl]

7. Yes

Public speaking. I just keep doing it, hoping...someday...it will no longer be a fear.

[libnnc]

8. Bats, spiders, and tornados

If I'm ever in a tornado being attacked by bats with spiders crawling on them, I'm fucked.

[querelle]

9. A Car Crash

Seriously........my worst fear is dying in a violent car crash. Needless to say I am a a very bad back seat driver. I can't help it. I was in a very bad car crash when I was about 7 years old. I was going to a cottage with my parent's neighbors when we crashed head on with another car. Me and another child (who I don't remember) were the the only survivors. Everybody else was killed (pre-seatbelt days). I still have nightmares about that day. July 19, 1969.

Q

[idgiehkt]

10. wow.

I am so sorry, Querelle. That must have been awful.

[querelle]

11. Apparently It Was Awful

But to this day............I still don't remember much about it. I remember waking up in the hospital with my mother's face above mine and knowing that I was alive and loved. As for the actual accident........I realy wish I could recall more about it, but I just can't. Isn't that strange? I was there and I can't recall a single thing.

Q

[idgiehkt]

16. wow.

I am glad you don't remember. It's most likely for the best.

I have alot of memories I don't remember. I've been told about scarring that I don't remember, can't fathom, etc. I think it's the minds way of protecting us, you know. Kids just compartmentalize. I think in the end it can to harm though. On a total digression, it has in my life, hence my 'being trapped' phobia. That's what it's about, at heart. In my mind it got transferred from the physical feeling of being trapped, restrained, whatever, onto relationships, jobs, degrees, anything like that. The minute I start moving toward something actually coming to fruition or stability or completion...kaboom, kablooey. I really should have gotten work in a field that uses explosives, I am so good at this by now. But now I've really trapped myself... I don't know what I am going to do

[querelle]

26. Oh Wow

PM me idgiehkt.............I would love to talk to you. I think we have alot in common.

Q

[idgiehkt]

28. I have to go to bed now

But I will definitely pm you tomorrow

[QMPMom]

12. Unfortunately, yes. I face it every day.

I have a distant cousin that had a severely mentally and physically handicapped child. I was very upset and didn't see how she dealt with his problems day in and day out, 24/7/365. My biggest fear was that I, too, would have a handicapped child.

A few years later, my beautiful DD, now age 20, was born severely mentally handicapped.

[querelle]

14. My Cousin Wendy.........

She gave birth to a child with downs syndrom and also dwarfism. Her mother tried to tell her to have an abortion because the problems were very known to her in the pre-natal stage. Wendy chose not to do that and to this day I admire her choice. It was her CHOICE! That's what fundies don't undersand. Choice doesn't always mean abortion. Choice means..................aw fuck. This is a cop out. I'm a guy. How can I possibly know about this or determine a woman's decicion? I'm not a woman and will never have to make that decision.

I am a pro-choice male. What more can i say?

Q

[Floogeldy]

15. "I am probably going to have to confront that one at the end of this month"

Are you going to jail? Why?

[idgiehkt]

17. I might.

LOL. I'm worried about that too, just because I loose it and throw a fit at the NCDMV office when I go down there and throw myself at their mercy.

I don't want to explain it, Floogeldy. It makes me too pissed off. I tried to talk about it on the phone the other day and I just started crying and shaking apart. Life is just unfair sometimes.

[Floogeldy]

19. Yes, like is unfair.

But you will handle it very well, idgiehkt.

[ElboRuum]

20. Worst fear...

A 2nd Dubya term with a Rep Congress that goes slowly insane.

Yes I've had to confront it, and when I get through it, I'll let you know how I did it.

[ElboRuum]

22. On a more serious note...

I've never had any real paralyzing fears like what you're talking about. Worst fear I could name was a fear of the dark when I was really little, but that went away in time.

[mad-mommy]

21. I have become very fearful...

of driving to places I am not familiar with. I also do not do major highways, and rarely the interstate. I take the back roads everywhere. I have to rely on my hubby a lot. I think the actual fears are getting lost, and big rigs on the interstate. I have been trying to drive places I normally wouldn't, while hubby is with me. I wasn't like this all of the time though, use to drive anywhere.

[crim son]

23. I'm in the middle of facing it and it's a nightmare sometimes.

But in between, I'm okay. You will be too. You just can not let any one defeat be the one that is too much. That is when you end up on the street, mumbling, and you're not going there. Period.

[idgiehkt]

27. thanks, sweetie

I just pm'd you. I will be thinking about you, my heart just aches for what you are having to go through, it just makes my problems look minimal. The problem I have is 'dealable-with' so to speak, as far as practicality, what I'm worried about, and have been for several months, is my mental state, because something just is kind of 'off', you know? I'm worried about that, like I never have been even in the times I was addicted and insane and doing crazy behaviors I should have been locked up for. Right now I just feel like there's been some kind of tectonic plate shift, things are just all at angles. It's creepy.

Okay, I'll shut up.

love ya, I'll write a second reply to that pm tomorrow.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

25. yes. heights.

I recently got a job as a painters apprentice. I used to have trouble standing on a chair to change a lightbulb. So far, I've managed to get up to 16feet, but I was by no means 'comfortable'.

It's a process...

[Broken_Hero]

29. nope not yet

I've never been out in the middle of the ocean being attacked by sharks, so no...I haven't faced my worst fear...yet... And if I ever did, I would go out with a roar...and then become fish food.

[jobycom]

30. I'm one for two, counting tonight

My two biggest fears were spiders and roaches, both stemming from childhood events. I managed to conquer spiders as an adult, just by willing myself to stay close to them, and watch them, and learn to see them as fascinating. A week ago I was looking at an apartment and walked within an inch of a large spider. I didn't even flinch, just watched it crawl around it's web. The apartment guide was visibly nervous. That's when I was sure I had licked the arachnophobia.

Roaches, though... A little while ago I was reading in bed and roach dropped dead center on the covers. You could have heard me screaming a mile away. I ran from the room, and am now sleeping in the gues room! I was brave enough, though, to send my cat in the room looking for the roach, and even cleaned a pile of papers I thought it might be under. I picked up one paper at a time, with a stick, carefully rattling it, while my cat protected me.

So, I'm one for two.

[Blue-Jay]

31. You mean.....bears?