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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 07:31 PM
Original message
Headlines About Yourself You Never Want To See:
JP Candidate Has Embarrasing Run In With Pole At Polling Place
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 07:40 PM
Response to Original message
1. Jamastiene died in Rockingham, NC
Hell, I live here in this red state hell right now, but I don't want to die here though. HELL, No. I want to die peacefully in my sleep in San Fran with my own kind.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:29 PM
Response to Reply #1
59. "Husband Bucky Covington sang 'Amazing Grace' at the service."
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #59
68. Oh dayum, I sure hope you DON'T go to
Hell when you die. You might take over. You would make a fine punisher. Wow, you just made that headline worse. I didn't think it was possible. :rofl: :spank:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 07:15 PM
Response to Reply #68
72. You know you LUUUUURVE him!!!
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #72
73. Aaaaaaah!
*Jama sticks fingers in ears.* I can't hear you. I can't hear you. :crazy:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-31-06 06:05 AM
Response to Reply #73
76. Especially his curly mullett...
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-31-06 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #76
78. Lalalalalallalaa
I can't hear you. I can't hear you. :P
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. Area teacher spent 50 years in the classroom!
Edited on Sat Oct-28-06 08:09 PM by femmocrat
She never could afford to retire because they kept cutting her health care benefits.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:11 PM
Response to Original message
3. Homeless vets in Newport News
n/t
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #3
12. I thought that one was tragically true and another one for us Ds to fix
after Jan. 3.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Bangor woman remarried in traditional ceremony."
Shoot me if I ever take another man seriously again in my life!
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 02:23 AM
Response to Reply #4
30. I feel for the copy editor
who writes "Bangor woman" in any hed.

:rofl:

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 09:44 AM
Response to Reply #30
46. Have you ever taken a look at the Bangor Daily News?
By the standard of that paper, my headline sparkles.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:15 PM
Response to Reply #46
55. I haven't had the pleasure
But "Bangor woman" and "Bangor man" are running no-no jokes on copy desks throughout the U.S.

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #55
65. I don't doubt it.
http://www.bangordailynews.com /

Today's paper: "Lee Woman..." It's not the headline however. Not this time!
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Nicole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
5. Nicole wins millions in the lottery
When I win I don't want it published. Every distant relative & casual acquaintance I have will be calling for money.
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. *calls you for money*
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Nicole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #10
19. *Phone has been disconnected*
:P
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:18 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. *curses in being thwarted in her plan for bumming money off of you for
a campaign*
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BarenakedLady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
6. "Crazy cat lady dies alone and penniless."
:scared:
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:56 AM
Response to Reply #6
38. Don't forget...
..."and is eaten by her cats." The final ironies are always the most poignant.
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photogirl12 Donating Member (887 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
7. Photogirl12 dies in freak tripod accident...n/t
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Road Scholar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
8. Local highway engineer dies, is buried on highway right of way.
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:01 PM
Response to Original message
9. 63 Year Old Woman Gives Birth To Her First Child n/t
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WritingIsMyReligion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:29 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Good one!
:rofl:
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sarge43 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 05:08 AM
Response to Reply #11
34. Thanks
It is a cold sweat concept
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:32 PM
Response to Original message
13. Man discovered dead after stench alerts neighbors.
Well, technically, I'd be dead, but you get the point...
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:35 PM
Response to Original message
14. WCGreen wins republican nomination for House Seat....
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. ew! I would cry at that one. You going to the Victory party in Phx?
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. My car won't make it.....
Nah, I'm gonna just stay home and watch and post...

I have been to too many victory parties to count...

But I just may head to Columbus for the evening...
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 10:30 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. You just do not want to see me! What happened to our love?
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Meet you halfway....
St. Louis....
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. but that place is sticky...I will just have to wait then
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. "Aristus Humiliated In Shakespeare Quoting Contest!"
B-)
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 05:44 PM
Response to Reply #21
50. By Charo.
:7
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #50
67. "Charo makes amends to Aristus by calling him 'Cootchie'."
"Aristus is mollified."

B-)
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
22. CaliforniaPeggy's Photos Entirely Fraudulent!
That would be awful.......... :scared:
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:14 PM
Response to Original message
23. Bush awards struggle4progress Presidential Medal of Freedom
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:28 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. What did you mess up?
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:48 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. If I told you, you'd have to kill me
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #28
47. Who do you think I am? Bush?
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
24. Shark adopts vegan diet: victim missing and presumed dead
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Starbucks Anarchist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 11:32 PM
Response to Original message
27. Starbucks Anarchist killed by Coffee-wielding Anarchists
Last words: "Damn you, Irony! Damn you to hell!"
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 02:18 AM
Response to Original message
29. Buffy dead at age 70; worked for 51 years in Human Services and
still made less than new employees at Whole Foods Market. :cry:
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 02:40 AM
Response to Original message
31. 'Local man compounds Python misquote
with grammar mistake"

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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #31
53. LOL!!! n/t
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 02:42 AM
Response to Original message
32. Heidi bleeds to death during routine nose piercing.
:yoiks:
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Evoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 02:56 AM
Response to Original message
33. Man almost bleeds to death after a bicycling incident causes tesiticular
mutilation.
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:28 AM
Response to Original message
35. Bunny Opens Sanctuary for Homeless Rats and Mice.
Edited on Sun Oct-29-06 06:28 AM by Bunny
:scared:
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:47 AM
Response to Original message
36. Local man confirms general opinion by failing to live up to potential.
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 01:19 PM
Response to Reply #36
49. Are you an Onion writer?
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:48 AM
Response to Original message
37. GoPsUx drinks koolaide becomes republican
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
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Kutjara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:57 AM
Response to Original message
39. Man with World's tiniest penis discovered.
Edited on Sun Oct-29-06 07:12 AM by Kutjara
Film at eleven.
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #39
48. Now now, I am sure that is not true.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 07:11 AM
Response to Original message
40. Milford Man Found In Love Nest With Rep. Don Sherwood
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 08:27 AM
Response to Reply #40
45. Bwahahaha!
:rofl:
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 07:47 AM
Response to Original message
41. Local Man Convicted for Bookstore Arson Spree
:scared:

RL
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 08:19 AM
Response to Original message
42. I don't dare even type it. It involves fire, my home and my animals.
'Nuff said.
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 08:22 AM
Response to Reply #42
43. Backyard barbeque?
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 08:26 AM
Response to Reply #43
44. "my" animals, not slaughtered feedlot animals
Maybe you missed that key word.
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
51. This week on Jerry Springer: All of SOteric's old flames reminisce.
In a 3 part episode.
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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
52. "Local Stripper Swindled"
Aha. ha. ha.
Whoops, it's already happened.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
54. "NewWaveChick1981 Gives Birth to Quintuplets"
:yoiks: Oh, and "NWC1981 Misplaces Winning Lottery Ticket; Loses Millions". :cry:
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:23 PM
Response to Reply #54
56. I want to see the give birth to quints one...babies are cute.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #56
60. Yeah, well.... you just keep wishing!
:rofl: I couldn't handle one, let alone five... :P You willing to take them if that headline ever comes true???? :)
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #60
61. Since it looks like I cannot bear children...yes! :D
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #61
62. OK, then...
:hug: If I ever find myself in that predicament, I will call you first. :D :pals:
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Arkana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
57. Local Man Accidentally Posts In FYAD
'It Did Not Go Well', Says Unfortunate Victim

Anyone who recognizes the reference gets bonus points.
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Momgonepostal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
58. World Record Finally Broken, Area Woman is Fattest EVER!
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:39 PM
Response to Original message
63. Librarian dies in freak book-crushing accident
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TheMightyFavog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 06:56 PM
Response to Original message
64. UWSP Student Kills 100 with intestinal gas, UN weapons inspectors called in.
:)
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-29-06 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #64
66. um ew, that would be icky.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
69. NewJeffCT among group sent to Gitmo for being criticizing High Chancellor Bush
or suffers rendition to Saudi Arabia
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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #69
70. Now that one will never happen and you know it. Bush would censor
the media.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #70
71. well
we already have journalists locked up without access to a lawyer, charges, etc. (scroll down a bit to see the piece on Bilal Hussein: http://glenngreenwald.blogspot.com /)
sending folks to Gitmo is not too far off...


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dorktv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-31-06 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #71
77. See what I mean? He would censor the media...lots of ways of doing that
look at what Wilson did back in WWI.
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
74. wildhorses stampedes the white house and dumps a large
load of golden nuggets in the oval office


































on second thought I'm kinda PROUD of THAT headline :patriot:
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-30-06 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
75. Lonely Otaku dies watching Anime
The anime in question: Azumangah Daioh and Cool Devices
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