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Rep. Kay Granger's Drink Recipes -- WTF? Seriously. What. The. Fuck?

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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:14 PM
Original message
Rep. Kay Granger's Drink Recipes -- WTF? Seriously. What. The. Fuck?
Yes, this woman is actually running for Congress. Apparently, while getting shit-faced on really disgusting alcoholic beverages. Check out these recipes from her website.

Now, I do believe the name "Killer" is absolutely appropriate for this one:

Easy, Killer Margaritas

Ingredients:
Frozen Limeade (any size)
Tequila (your choice)
Beer (your choice)

Empty the limeade into a pitcher. Using the empty can as a measure, add 1 can of tequila and 1 can of beer to the pitcher

Stir and pour over ice. Squeeze wedge of fresh lime on top.


WHAT THE FUCK? Beer and Frozen Limeade mixed with Tequila does not a make a margarita. It makes for a very bad time in the bathroom. I can choke down most alcoholic beverages and I've never been sick from drinking (honestly, quite amazing), but I would not risk that.

Now we're onto what I like to call, "You're a Cheap Ass Drunk," although she has a different name for it.

Coffee Liqueur (Kahlua)

1/4 lb regular ground coffee
2 lbs (4 + 2/3 cups) sugar
1 oz (2 Tb) pure vanilla (not imitation)
1 pint pure grain alcohol

Steep coffee with 1 quart boiling water and let stand overnight.
Filter through coffee filters. (Use your coffee maker. You will have to change the filter often.)
Boil sugar with 2 cups cold water for 10-12 minutes. then add the filtered coffee.
Add pure vanilla and pure grain alcohol
Stir well, bottle and cap

Yields about 2 quarts.(If you double the recipe, buy one fifth pure grain alcohol then add vodka to make a full quart. Yields almost 5 quarts)


God damn. Nothing better than some good ol'fashioned coffee moonshine. Yummy.

And for when you're feeling ill from drinking that shit, she has a fix.

Recipe For a Happy Day
24 Hours of Love for ALL people
Large serving of laughter (more is better!)
Pinch of compassionae tears
2 Listening Ears
1 Understanding heart
1 Good friend, seasoned to dependability
2 Prayers

Mix all ingredients, beginning with one prayer
In the Morning add a handful of pleasant memories
Discard bad ones. Stir with joyfull enthusiasm.
Bake in the warmth of your faith.
Top with one prayer at evening. Enjoy!


That'll fix you right up!

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Reverend_Smitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
1. Who the fuck puts everclear in their coffee?
talk about an eye opener! You drink a pot of that and you'll be praying to the almighty porcelain God...and don't even get me started on those Margaritas :puke:
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:33 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. I wonder if that's to keep her awake in congress.
In any case, it doesn't instill a sense of confidence in her leadership. I mean, fine if you're a drunk, but that shit just ain't right.
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Reverend_Smitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:42 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. I think those recipes are insulting to drunks
Would Peter O'Toole or Richard Burton drink that swill? I think not!
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:44 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I'm a drunk and I'm insulted.
I try my best to avoid swill, sometimes it's unavoidably, but I would never touch that swill.
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Spider Jerusalem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:42 AM
Response to Reply #7
29. Depends on how badly they wanted a drink...
I've seen alcoholics guzzle vanilla extract at 6 o'clock on a Sunday morning when there was no booze in the house and nowhere to buy any. So the answer is "probably".
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patrick t. cakes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:26 PM
Response to Original message
2. classy..
only pure vanilla not imitation.

booze and prayer, nice. :puke:
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hedgehog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:32 PM
Response to Original message
3. Did you notice that the word "Republican" is strangely
missing from her Web site? You have to infer her party affiliation by going over the news and notes section.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:33 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Yeah, it's pretty bizarre. I noticed that, too. nt
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:31 AM
Response to Reply #3
28. To be fair, it's pretty obvious from those recipes, too
I think the grain alcohol combined with the 'classy' real vanilla is equivalent to an "R"... :rofl:
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mad-mommy Donating Member (884 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:34 PM
Response to Original message
6. she's ruining margaritas
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:50 PM
Response to Original message
9. "You're a Cheap Ass Drunk"
:rofl:

You make me raff!



Oh, and here we go: celebrating our nation's values! FUCK YEAH! Who wants some of Kay's special Hunch Punch? FUCK YEAH!!! Kegger at Kay's house!

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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Who knew somebody in a salmon suit could be such a party animal?
:rofl:
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
10. I don't know - the homemade Kahlua sounds about right
of course I don't like the real stuff so there is that. The margarita recipe sounds absolutely disgusting, BUT there is some kind of crap I have seen in the store called Tequiza or something that is one of those "malt" beverages I think - and when I first saw it that is exactly what I thought: eeeww beer mixed with tequila. Not that I haven't ever accomplished that in a night, but not in the same glass.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. Tequiza actually just has agave juice in it as a sweetener.
It's still pretty gross.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Sounded pretty gross.
Did it have lime too or not? I don't remember. Lets put the wierdest shit we can in one container and see who will buy it. And drink it.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:04 AM
Response to Reply #15
18. Yeah, it's pretty gross. It's like a sweet beer with a touch of lime.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
11. Margarita torture!
beer? BEER???!!?!?!! Limeade??? :wtf:

I have had margaritas Rep. Granger and THIS is no margarita.



:puke: With crap like this, I'm surprised Mexico isn't the one building the damn fence.
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patrick t. cakes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-27-06 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. yeah what frat kegger
did she find that concoction at? :beer: :wow: :puke:
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:03 AM
Response to Reply #14
16. Let's put it this way, I had a friend in college that would drink anything...
I just IMed her former roommate and sent her the link to this thread. Her response:

"wow- i think you did find something even brooke wouldn't consume"

If you knew Brooke, you would understand the full gravity of that statement. This was a girl that we used to drop naked in a cold shower at least once a week.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:03 AM
Response to Reply #11
17. actually it might go over fine there.
Margaritas aren't that popular in Mexico - google sangrita for a nasty drink.

Of course I don't like bloody Marys either so....
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #17
19. and don't forget micheladas.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:17 AM
Response to Reply #17
22. true, I just said that because it was born in Mexico
as for the sangrita...well I did google it and yes, it does sound gross. I love a good bloody Mary but the sangrita lost me at orange juice. yuck! Now sangria on the other hand....
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:08 AM
Response to Original message
20. I think she's trying to kill her constituents!
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BlueCollar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:22 AM
Response to Reply #20
23. not this one....
for real margaritas Fort Worth residents head over to Joe T. Garcia's on the Northside
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:23 AM
Response to Reply #23
25. Gloria's has good ones too...yummy!
:hi:
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BlueCollar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:47 AM
Response to Reply #25
30. Gloria's?
Where's it located?

:hi: back at ya!!!
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #30
31. There's one in Ft. Worth
Gloria's Fort Worth
2600 W. Seventh St. # 175
Fort Worth, TX 76107


Hours of Operation:
Sunday through Thursday 11:00am to 10:00pm
Friday and Saturday Kitchen opens 11:00am to 11:00pm
Bar is open till 2:00am live music from 11:00pm till 2:00am
Free salsa lesson 10:30pm to 11:00pm $10.00 cover charge starting at 10:00pm

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BlueCollar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:56 AM
Response to Reply #31
32. W 7th...
I'll check it out next time I'm in the downtown area...thanks.
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 02:07 AM
Response to Reply #25
36. I trust the name of the place
With a name like Gloria, it must be good! :D
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:23 AM
Response to Reply #20
24. She's from Texas. Don't let her kill you.
The food recipes on her site are pretty damn disgusting, too. Fritos in salads, stick of butter in the beans, etc.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:24 AM
Response to Reply #24
26. I know...I've written her more than once...
I'm sure I'm on her list of "fans"!
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
21. Stop hangin out at Free Repub....
:puke:

That sounds really gross!!
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 12:25 AM
Response to Reply #21
27. I actually found her site via CNET news worst campaign websites article.
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Random_Australian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 01:01 AM
Response to Original message
33. Stupid recipes, stupid spelling, and the worst recipe for a good day of all time.
"Recipe For a Happy Day
24 Hours of Love for ALL people"

Love for ALL people huh? Y'know, nothing reflects love like the whole support-for-Gauntanamo thing.


"Large serving of laughter (more is better!)"

Like this famous republican funny: ""So Many Of The People In The Arena... Were Underprivileged Anyway, So This Is Working Very Well For Them""

"Pinch of compassionae tears"

"Make no mistake, we are saving lives because of the information we are obtaining at Guantanamo and that is the most important thing." - Kay Granger herself.

"2 Listening Ears"

"Truly, Saddam Hussein was a criminal crying out for international intervention." - Kay Granger

Yeah, 2 ears listening to Saddam, and a thousand bugs to listen to the American people.

"1 Understanding heart
1 Good friend, seasoned to dependability
2 Prayers

Mix all ingredients, beginning with one prayer
In the Morning add a handful of pleasant memories
Discard bad ones. Stir with joyfull enthusiasm.
Bake in the warmth of your faith.
Top with one prayer at evening. Enjoy!"

Rant time - :rant:

Warmth of her faith? Someone who cares not a a squat about gitmo, someone without the time for mundane home foreclosures, and part of a party that virulently despises people when they (shock no) like their own gender and admit it, can bake things in the warmth they have? Yep, also, I fear indigestion as monkeys have been taking wing from my backside.

I mean really, lets cut to the chase - this whole 'happy' thing, all of it, was actually fuck all practical advice, and all about getting people to freaking read words that make them feel nice because you could not think of any real content.

Bah!

Republicans.
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BigMcLargehuge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 01:13 AM
Response to Original message
34. What no Sterno???
lightweight
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-28-06 01:39 AM
Response to Reply #34
35. Heh.
:spray:
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